Gabourey Sidibe proved that Drizzy isn’t the only one who likes his women BBW when her character “Becky” got some good loving on last Wednesday’s episode of Empire.
But some fans weren’t as hot as much as they were bothered by the scene that the actress described as “that fine ass Becky on a rooftop in the afterglow of doin’ it all romantic-like with some mostly naked dude,” in a blog she wrote for Entertainment Weekly. The internet instantly made a mockery out of Becky’s love-making with memes that featured captions like:
“Damn, some of you people can’t even get a text back.”“When the rent is due.”
All of the jokes implied that “Becky” was less deserving of sexual satisfaction because she wasn’t a size six or some Brazilian bombshell emerging from the pool in a Trey Songz video. Despite the criticism, the actress told Entertainment Weekly that she felt sexy doing the scene, whether fans were turned on or not:
“I, a plus-sized, dark-skinned woman, had a love scene on primetime television. I had the most fun ever filming that scene even though I was nervous. But I felt sexy and beautiful and I felt like I was doing a good job. I’m very proud of the work we all did to make that scene a great opening for the episode.”
She also added in an interview with People, that the scene was ground-breaking for primetime television:
"After we were shooting it, the camera guy came over, and he said, 'I've never shot a scene like this. And I've never seen a scene like this. I was really happy to be part of something that's never been seen on primetime television before. And you don't notice it because you don't have to notice it, but there's never been someone of my skin color, my size, with somebody else of the same skin color in a love scene on primetime television.""It's never happened," she added, laughing again. "Just go through the books, it's never happened. And I'm not sure why it hasn't happened, but I hope there's more to come."
That’s right, Gabby. Shut the haters down. Despite popular belief, a lot of people have sex every single day and we all don’t look fresh from a Skin-e-max set every single damn time. At the end of the day, what really makes the best sex scene is chemistry and confidence. Sidibe clearly brought both to the screen flawlessly, and thinks you all have too much time on your hands to be finding the flaws in love:
“I keep hearing that people are “hating” on it. I’m not sure how anyone could hate on love, but that’s okay. You may have your memes. Honestly, I’m at work too busy to check Twitter anyway. #Booked. Hope you enjoy next week’s show!”
OK??? Gabby makes a great point.
How many of us have been so busy being self-conscious during our own sexual encounters that we forget to actually enjoy ourselves?
We’re too busy making sure our track isn’t showing, taking our body shapers off in the bathroom, or getting undressed under the covers to actually allow ourselves to feel good. Shoot, I’ve even found myself reaching for a runaway satin bonnet before my husband stops to remind me that he’s not worried about my new growth as much as he’s worried about being intimate with me in that moment. I can’t help but wonder if the hate that some harbor for Gabby’s appearance isn’t just a projection of their own insecurities. Co-star Jussie Smollett recently shared his thoughts on the scene and says that one of the sexiest things about Gabby is that she “owns it”:
“She owns herself and she’s sexy and fearless and it was dope. I thought it was beautiful to see her on screen in that way. “
As for the haters, Mr. Smollett reminds us that they always have the option to look away if they’re offended:
“Well they should close their eyes and shut off the TV then. I wanted to see it and millions of other people wanted to see it.”
Unfortunately with the same images being presented to us repeatedly with the narrow idea of what sex is supposed to look like, many of us forgot that what it actually looks like: Elderly people have sex.
Plus-sized people have sex. Men who are two weeks overdue for a shape-up have sex. Women have sex in stocking caps with their wigs lying next to them. And we need to get over this myth that we need Beyoncé’s body, Nicki Minaj’s attitude topped with a Serena Williams’ split to look sexy doing so.
Besides, who decided that you shouldn’t be having sex on the big screen if you’re over 110 lbs.? Creators of the show Mike and Molly starring Melissa McCarthy faced similar criticism when the show premiered in 2010. Blogger Maura Kelly posted an article called "Should Fatties Get a Room (Even on TV)?" in which she slammed the show’s title couple saying:
“I think I'd be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other...because I'd be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything. To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room…”
You’ve got to be kidding me. Kelly attempted to spin the article into a statement against the promotion and celebration of obesity, but fans were not having it and the publication quickly posted an apology. Because it’s OK if we have to see Kerry Washington get it popping with the President every week, but when someone who doesn’t fit the description of a Sports Illustrated model gets some action, we suddenly become so concerned about living healthy and tackling America’s obesity problem?
Don’t get me wrong, I get that sex is about attraction as much as anything else, and Gabby may not be everyone’s dream girl, but one man’s Precious is another man’s Pam Grier and sometimes I think we forget that although Sidibe is playing a part, there’s a real person behind the character. The fact is whether you’re in your bedroom or basking in afterglow with some naked dude on a rooftop, if you feel sexy and beautiful, that’s no one’s business but your own, and we need to stop allowing others to define what sexy is and limiting pleasure only to those that fit the media’s narrow definition desirable. Besides if you’re leaving your bed with your wig straight and perfectly winged eyeliner, someone isn't doing it right.
Maybe we need more scenes like these to remind us that sex doesn’t have to be all six-packs and perfectly placed beads of sweat to be enjoyable.
Related Post: The Power Of Black Sex On Screen
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
The Libra woman and Aries man are the divine feminine and divine masculine, coming together as one. The love compatibility between these two is one for the books. These two are opposite signs, however, their differences tend to complement each other well. This is a dynamic relationship where they know how to have a lot of fun together, but also aren’t afraid to deal with the more serious stuff that comes with a relationship.
The Libra woman is looking for her equal in love, someone who is willing to put in the same effort she is, and the Aries man sees Libra as someone he is willing to do that with.
The Love Compatibility Of A Libra Woman And An Aries Man
What attracts a Libra woman and an Aries man to each other?
There is a magnet of attraction pulling these two together, and things tend to move pretty fast in this relationship. The Libra woman is always open to love and her charming nature rarely has any challenges here. The Aries man fights for his independence and doesn’t sacrifice that unless he is completely enamored with someone.
Once the Aries man catches the eye of the Libra woman, he is typically the one to make the first move and this instantly wins the approval of Libra.
These two feel like they have known each other forever when they meet, and this spark between them doesn’t die down easily.
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What is the relationship like between a Libra woman and an Aries man?
The relationship between the Libra woman and the Aries man is one of balance and excitement. The Aries man tends to take on the more dominant role in this relationship and the Libra woman tends to be the more receptive one. Aries is ruled by masculine Mars, and Libra is ruled by feminine Venus. They understand they are coming from two completely different worlds, yet they also instinctively feel this underlying connection to each other and like they could be something each other needs in their lives.
The Libra woman can rely on the Aries man, and the Aries man never has to ask for the love that Libra already knows he needs.
This is a couple that is often reading each other’s minds and wanting to do a lot of the same things. However, not everything is rainbow in this relationship as well, and there are some major differences they have to overcome to make things work. One argument can lead to an explosion between these two, and addressing things when they come up rather than sweeping them under the rug, will be needed to make this relationship long-term.
What is the sex like between a Libra woman and an Aries man?
The sex between a Libra woman and an Aries man is adventurous. These are two cardinal signs with plenty of energy and stamina to keep things exciting in the bedroom. There tends to be a good give and take in this relationship, and their yin and yang energy benefits them when it comes to their sex life.
There is electricity felt between the two of them in this area of their life, and their power of attraction to each other is strong. These are two people who will want to do a lot of things together, including exploring sexually together.
The Aries man will have to be careful with being overly aggressive, however, as the soft Libra woman may not like this energy- it will completely depend on the two individuals at hand. The Libra woman wants to ease into things, the Aries man wants to get going right away. Learning about each other's bodies, and energy, and reading each other’s cues will help with this.
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What makes a relationship between a Libra woman and an Aries man work?
These two genuinely like each other, and that basis is a key factor for success in any relationship. The Aries man is straight to the point, direct, and inspired. The Libra woman admires these characteristics in others, as she is often herself finding her balance in this type of energy as well. Neither sign is overly emotional in a way that turns them off, and they both require a lot of the same things in a committed relationship. They want honesty, fun, good communication, passion, and to be moving towards a common goal together.
The Libra woman and Aries man don’t have a problem being real with each other and this is something they really value within the relationship. They are both very charming, and there is plenty of flirtation and attraction to keep this relationship going. Aries being the protector they are, Libra finds a sense of safety and ease in this energy, and like they have found their match. Overall, this is a well-balanced relationship and one where they don’t have a problem when it comes to compatibility or chemistry in the relationship.
What may cause a Libra woman and an Aries man to break up?
Libra is the lover, Aries is the fighter, and this energy may be tiring for the both of them after time. The Libra woman can be passive to a fault, and the Aries man who is not evolved, may take advantage of that. She will need to be careful with putting Aries’ needs above her own, creating resentment later down the road. The Aries man loves a challenge, and the Libra woman would be up for that game for a little bit, but if she is not being met in the middle, she will begin to look for other places. These two can have a difficult time keeping the peace in the relationship, and there could be a lot of arguments and disagreements here if they both aren’t willing to put their egos or self-pleasing attitudes to the side.
The Libra woman and Aries man are both more sensitive than they appear or come off as. They are also not necessarily the type to dive deep into their emotions and express them to others, even in their relationships. However, this energy can keep the relationship to a surface level than what is needed to progress and grow the relationship, and a sense of openness is required for this couple to work. Libra needs romance, she wants to be wowed. Aries needs to remember this and to always consider her love language.
Overall, this is a successful pairing. They will have their fair share of challenges in the relationship, but nothing they can’t overcome if they are willing to. The trouble will come in when it comes to the longevity of the relationship, keeping Aries excited and Libra in love. However, all in all, there is more power, attraction, and love to keep this relationship together rather than apart. No relationship is perfect, but this one is a little more blessed than most.
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