I have a confession. I’ve always wanted to go on some sort of Eat, Pray, Love journey. You know, the kind where you ignore life’s responsibilities, quit everything, including living in the U.S., and get to know yourself through creative exploration from a world away.
But hey, I’ve got real bills. So instead, I decided that what I really wanted was a way to tap back into my creative genius that had become dormant under the pressures of life. No matter how often I attempted to resuscitate the writing that once fueled my dreams, I found myself struggling to consistently put pen to paper.
I felt frustrated and fruitless, and knew that if I wanted to change the outcome of my life, I was going to have to do something different.
It was on a crisp fall day, working from my balcony, that the idea of a “creative sabbatical” came to mind. I desired to return to the place I had once called home during my time as a full-time entertainment journalist — Los Angeles. There was only one catch: financially, I still needed to work my 9-to-5 job, which at the time was forcing us back into a hybrid schedule three days a week. I also needed to cover my mortgage back home while maintaining a comfortable living situation in LA. Oh, and did I mention that I didn’t have savings, sponsors, or sugar daddies?
In short, I had to be strategic about doing this seemingly crazy move with little to no budget, without leaving the job that was sustaining me.
It took a lot of planning and a little pushing back of fear, but after completing a three-month stay, I can say I’m glad I took the leap of faith. It became the catalyst for my clarity. While I understand that not everyone is in my situation and we each have our own obstacles, I believe that quieting doubt and asking the what-ifs enabled me to see the possibilities that made this much-needed getaway possible without breaking the bank.
Here are the five key steps I took to bring what started as a crazy idea to fruition.
I Got Clear On My Why
Like anything in life, what you want to accomplish first starts with being clear on why you want to accomplish it. My sabbatical wasn’t about a fun getaway; I was seeking confirmation as to whether LA should once again be my place of residence as I pursue my creative calling. And I wanted to test it out while still having the cushion of a 9-to-5 job and the ability to easily return home before spending thousands of dollars moving across the country.
This not only anchored my strategy moving forward but also made it easier to answer with confidence when curious (and concerned) minds wanted to know why I was leaving Atlanta for the summer.
In naming my why, I also acknowledged that my creativity deserved the same planning and seriousness I gave my corporate deadlines.
Maybe for you it’s not creative clarity. Maybe it’s having the opportunity to be still and dream again in a place you’ve always wanted to go. Or maybe it’s enjoying a quiet recharge away from the noise of your everyday life. Whatever your reason, your why is what will carry you through to the finish line when challenges try to stop you in your tracks.
I Identified Opportunities to Work Remotely
Once my why was clear, I had to figure out the how.
The idea for my 90-day creative sabbatical came after seeing a coworker spend a month overseas shooting a TV show while still working remotely in her downtime. I reached out to my manager to ask how she was able to do it, and I discovered that while PTO was limited, company policy allowed 90 days of domestic remote work. With my manager’s support, I secured approval.
It made me realize that we often don’t know all the benefits our companies offer, and many of us are afraid to ask. While a typical sabbatical includes pay without working, my situation required me to keep money flowing in, which meant shifting my language from “can I?” to “how can I?”
If you’re looking to do something similar, I’d encourage reaching out to your manager or HR team to see what opportunities they may have available.
I Created A Strategy for Cutting My Costs
Once I locked in my sabbatical start date, things started to feel real. I had a steady stream of income I could count on, but there was still one blocker: how was I going to pay my housing costs back home and in one of the most expensive cities in the country?
My original plan was to let a friend rent out my guest room, ideally close to the same cost I’d be paying for housing in LA. When that fell through, I was left with one option— rent my guest room to a stranger.
This may not be a big deal for some, but as someone particular about the people and energy I bring into my home, I hesitated. I had to remind myself that my home was only an asset if I chose to use it as such. With experience as a landlord, I listed my home on Furnished Finder— a mid-term rentals site for traveling professionals. In a short time, I found a tenant who was the perfect fit for a three-month stay.
I also came across home exchange platforms like HomeExchange and Kindred, where you make your home available to travelers from around the world in exchange for points or credits you can then use for your own stays. After completing two exchanges, I had enough points to book 11 days of free housing in a Downtown LA high-rise, saving me almost $1,000 in my first month.
This experience forced me to see my home not just as a place where I lived, but as an asset that could fund my dreams.
I Secured My Dream Home
Once I locked in my renter, I started looking to secure my own housing. I narrowed down walkable areas and turned to Furnished Finder to find the perfect fit.
I discovered a guest house in the Larchmont area of Los Angeles, which was not only great for getting around the city by foot or rideshare but also a peaceful space for a writer to thrive. On weekdays, I walked through beautiful neighborhoods that made me dream. On weekends, I worked in Larchmont Village cafés, planting the seeds of what I wanted next.
I Designed My Ideal Life
With housing secured both at home and in LA, I could finally focus on how I would spend my time. No longer was I succumbing to the hustle of adulthood. This was my opportunity to dream again without limitations, and I gave myself permission to create the life I truly wanted.
Excited, I pulled up my Milanote app and brainstormed what my days would look like — co-working with friends at coffee shops, dining at restaurants with mouth-watering menus, exploring overlooked corners of the city. I also identified opportunities to reconnect with people I hadn’t seen in years, planting seeds of community in case I made a permanent return.
Even before leaving for LA I could feel my creative wells flowing again. I came up with a blog series titled "Summer In LA," a slow-unfolding, real-time diary chronicling what happens when a woman steps away from the familiar and gives herself permission to feel again.
In reality, things didn’t always go according to plan— my job became more demanding than I’d expected. But having a vision made me feel intentional and purposeful, even when I had to pivot.
It was on the patio of Bricks and Scones, sipping a brown sugar oat milk latte, that the vision for my creative future began to unfold. It was while attending the festivities of the BET Awards and other exclusive events that I realized that the rooms I was in no longer aligned with the woman that I was becoming. It was a scenic train ride to Santa Barbara that reminded me that the life that I crave doesn’t come with soulless work and strict deadlines, it was freedom that I desired.
And it was why, by the end of the sabbatical, I bravely walked away from a job that no longer served me.
I left my time in LA with a quiet knowing that my life was about to change, and all I needed was the courage to embrace it. Perhaps your own sabbatical isn’t 90 days; even a one-week getaway can be the catalyst to your calling. What matters most isn’t the destination or the timeline, but the decision to create space for yourself and trusting that the life you imagine is worth pursuing.
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Despite being the frequent topic of conversation online, Kayla Nicole says she’s learning to take advantage of her growing social media platform without becoming consumed by it. “I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out,” she says.
On The Pre-Game, which launched earlier this year, she has positioned herself as listeners “homegirl.” “There’s definitely a delicate dance between being genuine and oversharing, and I’ve had to learn that the hard way. Now I share from a place of reflection, not reaction,” she says. “If it can help someone feel seen or less alone, I’ll talk about it within reason. But I’ve certainly learned to protect parts of my life that I cherish most. I share what serves connection but doesn’t cost me peace.
"I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out."
Credit: Malcolm Roberson
Throughout each episode, she sips a cocktail and addresses trending topics (even when they involve herself). It’s a platform the Pepperdine University alumnus has been preparing to have since she graduated with a degree in broadcast journalism, with a concentration in political science.
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She’s not just a podcaster, though. When she’s not behind the mic, taking acting classes or making her New York Fashion Week debut, Kayla Nicole is also busy elevating her wellness brand Tribe Therepē, where she shares her workouts and the workout equipment that helps her look chic while staying fit. She says the brand will add apparel to its line up in early 2026.
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Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
Featured image by Malcolm Roberson
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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