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A Black girl ushering in her era of straight hair was an unspoken but understood tradition, a legacy shaped by women who learned that relaxers were the key to manageability and beauty, as society had defined it.
Though relaxers were a product of their time, the memories many of us share from that era of creamy-white, no-lye formulas also carry a collective trauma. It was one endured in the name of beauty standards we didn’t question until we did. It’s an experience that Courtney Adeleye, founder and CEO of Watch & Sea Beauty, knows all too well. And one that ultimately shaped her path into the hair care space.
In xoNecole’s Generation to Generation, created in partnership with Target, Courtney reflects on her hair journey alongside her daughter during a BTS video from their mother-daughter photoshoot. As she is seen applying product to her daughter’s braids, she begins talking about her experience with perms before going natural. Her daughter pauses and asks a simple yet revealing question: “What’s a relaxer?”
Credit: Darnell Brown
Courtney explains that it’s a chemical process that makes Black hair “pretty much permanently straight.” She then recalls getting her first relaxer at 13, a moment that remains vivid in her memory decades later. “My head was on fire,” she says in the video. “It’s nothing I remember in a good way. It’s something I’m like, ‘This can’t be.’” Their exchange is as striking as it is revelatory.
Unlike generations before her, Courtney’s daughter will never have to know relaxers as the rite of passage that once felt inevitable for so many Black girls. Thanks to entrepreneurs like Courtney, natural hair is no longer treated as the exception but upheld as the standard. As something to be celebrated, nurtured, and protected.
Generation to generation, her work helps ensure that Black girls can grow up with hair journeys rooted in appreciation, care, and choice, instead of one etched in pain, trauma, or assimilation.
In that way, Courtney isn’t just changing how we care for our hair; she’s paying it forward, crafting a legacy her daughters and future generations of Black women after them get to inherit.
That legacy didn’t begin with hair. Courtney credits her own mother, a nurse like she once was, for being the blueprint for what entrepreneurship could look like. “I got a chance to see my mother take a sheet of paper, cut it up in little rectangles, take that to a printing shop, and turn it into a card game,” she tells her daughter in a different scene. Those early lessons planted the seeds for what would later become The Mane Choice, a hair care brand born from her desire to create safer, healthier alternatives for Black hair that didn't compromise on performance.
After starting The Mane Choice in 2013 with just $500, Courtney worked tirelessly to build a hair empire that would go on to surpass $100 million in sales in only six years. She later sold the brand in 2019 for an undisclosed amount, cementing her place among the Black women entrepreneurs who have turned purpose and vision into industry-defining impact.
“Everything that we do is a stepping stone,” Courtney says in the video. “So how do I take what I’ve done as a nurse and turn it into what I’m doing?”
Credit: Darnell Brown
Today, that full circle is the gift that gives, and Black history is still being written, not just by women like Courtney, but by the little Black girls watching, learning, and asking questions that open new doors. Watch & Sea Beauty marks a return for the entrepreneur that reflects purpose, growth, resilience, and trust built over time.
From generation to generation, the way we love and care for our hair tells a bigger story: one of healing, innovation, and what we now have the freedom to choose for ourselves. Courtney’s contributions to Black hair and beauty are truly unmatched, not simply because of what she’s built, but because of what she’s shifted our hair stories: the narrative, the standard, and the future.
Her work is the legacy that lives in what we make possible for the women who come next.
Featured image by Darnell Brown
By the time December arrived, especially as a Jersey girl going to see the tree at Rockefeller Center in the city, enjoying the holiday bars, time with my family, all the holiday rituals that once brought me joy, decorating my tree, and planning holiday outings, felt distant.
I wasn’t burned out from doing too much. I was exhausted from holding everything. I realized I didn’t need to host or attend a holiday party. I needed to halt. I needed a pause.
So I packed my bags and took a solo trip to Aruba.
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Ironically, Embassy Suites was my happy place growing up.
My birthdays were marked by pool parties and sleepovers, and swimming became my earliest form of regulation. Years later, that instinct returned. When life feels unsteady, I go back to the water. Whether it’s swimming indoors at the gym, at local pools, or in the ocean, water calms me. There felt like no better way to let my body finally exhale than spending four days alone, surrounded by the sea.
I love a baecation, a girls’ trip, and a family vacation just as much as the next person — cousins’ trips are still my favorite, sorry to the rest of my family — but this time, I needed rest and silence. Total quiet outside of my Spotify playlist and the sound of waves. A break from my titles — from being the reliable one, the founder, the social media manager, the journalist, the one who’s always available, the oldest daughter.
As Black women, we’re often taught to hold everything together long before anyone asks us to. I didn’t grow up seeing the women who raised me vacation much. They did occasionally travel, but I saw them work more than anything. They held all the titles they taught me to hold (and then some), and they still do. Before the plane even took off, both of my phones were ringing nonstop.
The need for rest wasn’t theoretical, dramatic, or a TikTok cliché of how a vacation would heal me - it was urgent.
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Where I Stayed
Staying at the Embassy Suites by Hilton Aruba Resort, which opened in 2023, made slowing down feel possible. While Embassy Suites is often associated with business or family travel, the Aruba property is one of eight Embassy Suites resorts worldwide — designed as a true resort experience rather than a traditional hotel stay.
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One of the most grounding features of the property is its direct underground walkway to the beach, allowing guests to move from the hotel to the shoreline safely and seamlessly. Upon arrival, I was met with private palapas reserved for hotel guests, calm, clear waters, and a family-friendly experience where infants, adults, and even pets were welcome (yes, I felt guilty for leaving my dog, but again - I needed the rest lol.)
While it isn’t marketed as a wellness hotel, there were thoughtful nods to well-being throughout the stay.
Daily movement offerings like yoga, Pilates, and water aerobics were available throughout the week, adding to the resort’s offerings as well as a kids club, a gym, and many rooms to hold meetings and celebrations.
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Each morning began slowly with a complimentary breakfast at Brickstone Kitchen, featuring local tropical fruits and a made-to-order omelette bar. Brickstone Café offered an easy stop for coffee throughout the day, reinforcing the unhurried pace of the resort, and daily, I sat outside overlooking the ocean, taking in the view and the waves.
Snorkeling and Enjoying Cultural Cuisine
Beyond the hotel, I explored Aruba through moments that felt equally restorative. I snorkeled with Red Sail Aruba, swimming in some of the clearest water I’ve ever seen. I enjoyed beef croquette, pastechi, and the country’s official cocktail, the Aruba Ariba — a drink invented by a Hilton bartender more than sixty years ago. Those moments made me feel present, not like a visitor rushing through.
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Dining & the Nervous System Moment
Dinner at Brickstones Restaurant, led by Barbadian-born Executive Sous Chef Andre Nurse, became one of the most defining moments of the trip. I expected to enjoy rotating fish-of-the-day selections — from mahi-mahi to sea bass, alongside fresh ceviche and surf-and-turf plates featuring sirloin with coconut curry shrimp. And I did. But during my first dinner, overlooking the property and the beach as the sun began to set, something unexpected happened.
As I waited for my meal, I could feel the stress leaving my body. A full-body tingle moved through me. My shoulders softened. My breath slowed. My body shifted out of fight-or-flight and finally stood down. I experienced a parasympathetic release.
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According to Harvard Health, the parasympathetic nervous systemacts like a brake after stress, calming the body once danger has passed. I didn’t realize how long my body had been bracing until it stopped. I closed my eyes, let the chills move through me, and surrendered to the calm I had been needing. For the first time in weeks, my nervous system stopped bracing. It was like my body was telling me to slow down and finally listen.
Seeing the Island, Fully
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On my final evening, I experienced Aruba beyond the resort when the hotel’s marketing director offered to drive me around the island — a gesture that became one of the highlights of my trip. We revisited Eagle Beach, continued north to the California Lighthouse — a historic beacon built in the early 20th century and perched at the island’s northern tip — and took in panoramic views that made Aruba’s stillness feel even more profound.
We ended the night with a stop at Starbucks Aruba and a conversation about the island’s long-standing connection to aloe. Long before it became a global skincare staple, aloe was one of Aruba’s primary exports, thriving in the island’s dry climate and shaping a local industry that still exists today. Learning that history — how the land itself has long been used for healing — added another layer to the experience.
Aruba brought me face-to-face with what I’d been avoiding: radical self-care and sustainable practices that root me even when life feels unsteady. I returned home lighter — not because my circumstances had changed, but because my body remembered what safety feels like.
I came back to my family, the remainder of the holiday season, and my work with a clearer sense of what I need to protect moving forward, and dedicated to the next adventure
Featured image by Shutterstock
I mean, especially being that colds tend to last 7-10 days and the flu can stay in your system for up to two damn weeks — because who wants to wait for what seems like forever, just to get some?
So, let’s get into it. If you do end up coming down with something that is a bit more than the sniffles, it doesn’t mean that you have to go without copulation. You simply need to do a bit of…tweaking and adjusting — and that’s just what I’m about to break down for you. Thank me later.
First, Colds and Flus Are Viruses. Remember That.
GiphyThe first thing to keep in mind about colds as well as the flu is they are caused by viruses — contagious ones at that. As far as what makes them different — well, the flu is always caused by the same virus (the influenza virus) while a cold can be the result of a variety of different kinds.
Something else to keep in mind is while cold symptoms tend to happen gradually (like you might get a sore throat and then a runny nose and then a cough), the flu (and its symptoms) can oftentimes hit you like a ton of bricks. Also, the flu tends to be more severe than colds and, unless you get an ear infection while you have a cold, very rarely do you need medical intervention for one. The flu, on the other hand, can sometimes turn into pneumonia, bronchitis or a nasty sinus infection.
However, with all that I just said, the main thing to keep in mind when it comes to having sex with your partner is the fact that, again, colds and the flu are contagious. Colds? Typically, folks can catch what you’ve got during the first 3-4 days of coming down with one. The flu? This can happen during the initial seven days.
Okay, but what if, even knowing the risks, you can’t wait that long to get some good-good? Are there any possible workarounds?
ABSOLUTELY.
Wait Until You Don’t Have a Fever
GiphyAlthough two things that most of us hate most about getting sick are having a fever and dealing with mucus, both are our body’s way of fighting infections. And that is why a fever isn’t “bad”; however, when it comes to having sex, it’s important to keep in mind that there’s a great possibility that you are contagious if you happen to have one. Plus, if health experts frown on you going to work while you have a fever because you might get others sick, how much more could this be the case if you are umm, sharing yourself, while your body temperature is above 98.6? Yeah, your best bet is to at least wait for your fever to break — just to be on the safe side.
Kissing Is (Probably) Something to Pass On
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GiphyPersonally, I don’t even have testimonies of having sex without kissing being involved. Hell, to me, that is one of the best parts of the experience. That said, though, if you heard somewhere that you can exchange millions of bacteria (which is a type of germ, just like a virus is) in just one French kiss, that ain’t a myth. In fact, you can actually give each other a whopping 80 billion bacteria in a mere 10-second exchange — and if one of you has a cold or the flu and you’re contagious…well, you are basically begging to get sick.
So, although you will see in a moment that pleasurable sex is absolutely possible even if/when you are sick, if there is one thing that you should probably take a hard pass on, it’s kissing. Sorry.
Hand and Mouth Action Are Probably Your Best Bet
GiphyFirst up — there is sex and then there is sexual activity. That said, being that being all up in each other’s face is the easiest way to exchange germs, never underestimate the power of a hand job, some mutual masturbation or some good old-fashioned fingering (just sayin’). Oh, and also don’t rule out oral sex. Since the cold and the flu typically travel via droplets via actions like sneezing and coughing, you don’t really have to worry about giving each other anything (cold or flu-wise, that is) from fellatio or cunnilingus. Give thanks. GIVE THANKS.
In Fact, Sperm Can Help You to Heal Faster
GiphyI’m always going to be a fan of sperm — and I mean that just as literally as I am saying it. That’s why, over the years, I’ve written articles for the platform like “How To Improve The Taste Of Sperm,” “Ice Cream, Sperm & Other Random Things That Are Good For Your Health,” “Do You Swallow? The Unexpected Health Benefits Of Sperm,” and “Umm...Wanna Learn How To Swallow? Try These 10 Hacks.” There are a billion reasons why I find it to be a blessed thing — one of them is the fact that it contains nutrients that can actually help you to heal from a cold or the flu faster.
I’m not kidding. There is melatonin in sperm that can help you to get more quality sleep (which definitely can help to speed up the healing process). There are antioxidants in sperm that can help you to get through a cold or the flu faster while putting you in a better mood in the process.
Sperm also contains properties that can help you to feel less stressed. So, if you are in a long-term exclusive or monogamous (because they are not the same thing; check out “Why I Use The Word 'Monogamous' In Marriage And 'Exclusive' In Dating”) relationship where getting tested regularly is a part of y’all’s dynamic and/or if the act of fellatio is totally your thing — partaking in sperm when you are under the weather can actually do your body a lot of good…on dozens of different levels, to be exact.
Opt for Positions Where You Aren’t in Each Other’s Faces
GiphyOn the heels of what I said about kissing, I’m sure you get why this tip makes sense — and thankfully, there are several sexual positions that are hella satisfying that can also decrease your chances of giving each other whatever bug one of you happens to have: doggy style, reverse cowgirl, the pretzel dip, the leapfrog and the cat iron (which is one of my personal faves) all come to mind.
If you’re down for the cause yet you aren’t sure what some of these positions require, click here. Women’s Health did you a solid by providing illustrations and commentary for each and every one.
Change Your Bedding Afterwards. Every Time.
GiphyOne more tip — but first, let’s debunk something. If a part of you has read this and you’re like, “Well, you can also ‘sweat out a cold’, so having sex when you’re sick makes even more sense”…although I hate to burst your bubble, that is actually a myth, sis. Although viruses like the cold and flu aren’t exactly thrilled if/when your body temperature goes up, the heat isn’t so powerful that it causes them to weaken. Unfortunately.
Still, whether sex leads to sweating or not, please make sure that you change those doggone sheets after every session. Droplets are sure to fall on your bedding (including your pillowcases) during the act(s) and changing your sheets can decrease the chances of you and/or your partner getting or staying sick for a longer period of time. In fact, some health experts say that it’s a wise practice to change your sheets every three days during cold and flu season whether you are currently sick or not — just to be on the safe side.
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If you’re the type of person who feels absolutely miserable whenever you get sick to the point that sex is the last thing that is on your mind, I get it. Oh, but if what you hate the most about having a cold or the flu is thinking that you have to deny yourself in the intimacy department — now you know that you don’t.
Follow these tips and enjoy all of what sex has to offer…sans the kissing, of course.
All good. No, really.
Featured image by Giphy