It is possible to rekindle the sexual spark in your life if the flame has fizzled out. There are a lot of easy fixes that are enjoyable. Getting out of a bedroom funk can be challenging, so here's what you need to do.
1.Scheduled Sex
YakobchukOlena/Getty Images
Yes, I know! Scheduling sex may not sound sexy, but it is important for people with busy lives to schedule sex regularly in order to maintain a healthy relationship. The act of scheduling sex is a great way for partners to maintain intimacy and satisfaction. Every other aspect of our lives is scheduled; vacations, lunch dates, birthdays, and holiday gatherings. Why not add sex to the list? Intentionally setting aside time for sex shows your partner that sex is important to you.
2.Spontaneous Sex
Yes, I just talked about scheduling sex, but couples should also have spontaneous sex! There's nothing better than spontaneous, out-of-the-blue sex! Seize sexual opportunities when they arise unexpectedly. Unscripted sex always reminds a couple of the fun they used to have at the beginning of their relationship.
3.Morning Sex
Adene Sanchez/Getty Images
Even though you may not have the freshest breath in the morning, sometimes you need more than an alarm clock to get you started. Plus, getting it on before sunrise has many benefits. The endorphins released during morning sex allow you to start your day feeling relaxed and energized.
4.Try-Something-New Sex
Once a quarter, every couple should try something new in the bedroom. A Google search and/or a trip to a sex shop are almost always required for this type of sex. There is nothing like trying out a new position or discovering different types of foreplay or having sex somewhere other than your bed to expand your sexual experience. Be adventurous and try things you haven't tried before.
5.Make-up Sex
moodboard/Getty Images
My toxic trait is fighting with my partner and then having wild make-up sex afterward. One minute you're hot with anger, and the next you're rolling around making passionate love like Yvette and Jody in Baby Boy. Fighting causes dopamine and adrenaline levels to rise, making you and your partner excitable in more ways than one. The reason why make-up sex works is that you are raw, exposed, and vulnerable after a fight, which makes for an ideal combination for hot, steamy sex.
6.Outdoor Sex
There is something exciting, fun, and risky about outdoor sex. It's something about the possibility of getting caught that gets people's sexual juices flowing. Outdoor sex feels naughty and rebellious. Although you may feel brazen, outdoor sex is all about avoiding getting caught. Almost all states prohibit public sex. Hence, plan ahead. Locate a place to get your rocks off that won't land you in jail
7.Romantic Sex
Symphonie/Getty Images
Every now and then, we all like to be romanced. There is nothing like romantic sex to make you feel passionate, steamy, and intimate. It's all about foreplay, anticipation, and connection. You can connect with your partner by taking it slow and enjoying every moment. Make the mood more romantic by lighting candles, playing music, or having a few drinks.
8.Vacation Sex
Like Thanksgiving and turkey, vacations and sex go hand in hand. Vacations are perfect for rekindling a relationship as they give you more time for each other. Vacations should provide you with the opportunity to renew your sexual intimacy. Imagine yourself in a private room, disconnected from the daily routine of your daily life. Getting away from your usual routine is the thrill of vacation sex.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by LumiNola/Getty Images
From Your Site Articles
- 7 Things Married Couples Do To Damage Their Sex Lives & Don't Even Know It ›
- 10 Wonderful Reasons Why Consistent Sex In Marriage Is So Important ›
- 10 Sex Resolutions Every Married Couple Should Make ›
Related Articles Around the Web
The daily empowerment fix you need.
Make things inbox official.
Make things inbox official.
To borrow from her husband, actor Courtney B. Vance, when talking about his wife in the Nov/ Dec Essenceissue: “I don’t know anybody else like her. She’s once in a generation; once in a lifetime. I always tell her that the world is waiting for her Oscar so that we can lift her up 30 years past when we should have.”
xoNecole takes a look back at some of Bassett’s stand-out roles.
1993: 'What’s Love Got To Do With It'
In her career-defining role, Bassett stars as rock 'n' roll icon Tina Turner in a biopic about the legendary singer’s career and tumultuous relationship with her ex-husband Ike Turner. The role would earn Bassett her first and currently only Oscar nomination. In a 2018 interview with Watch What Happens LiveWith Andy Cohen, Bassett agreed with the host when he said that he felt like Bassett was robbed of the Academy Award that would end up being awarded to Holly Hunter.
This wasn’t the first nor last time Bassett would prove that she could portray a real-life person. She has also played Michael and Janet Jackson’s mom Katherine Jackson in The Jacksons: An American Dream as well as historical figures such as Betty Shabazz, Rosa Parks, and Coretta Scott King.
1995: 'Waiting to Exhale'
Frank Trapper/Corbis via Getty Images
This classic film based on the Terry McMillan novel of the same name boasted a star-studded ensemble cast that includes Loretta Devine to thee Whitney Houston. But it was Bassett who stole the show when her character Bernadette lit her unfaithful ex-husband’s car on fire after going on an emotional tirade. The scene would go down as one of the most iconic in film history while also invigorating every woman scorned who watched it.
1998: 'How Stella Got Her Groove Back'
In another Terry McMillan film adaptation (which is based on a true story), Bassett plays the titular Stella as she sojourns to Jamaica after her divorce and meets a young, fine local played by Taye Diggs. Bassett’s role would once again inspire Black women across the country to find their own groove again.
2006: 'Akeelah and the Bee'
In what would be the breakout role for a then-unknown Keke Palmer, Bassett plays the mother to Palmer’s character who is a spelling bee prodigy. Marking her third on-screen appearance with actor Laurence Fishbourne, Bassett plays the concerned mother role the only way she knows how.
2022: 'Black Panther: Wakanda Forever'
Returning as Ramonda, the queen of Wakanda, Bassett is every bit as regal as she was in the first film. With her role expanded in the wake of Chadwick Boseman’s death, Bassett delivers a stunning performance that many think will finally secure her second chance at Oscar gold.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Emma McIntyre/WireImage
From Your Site Articles
- 13 Exercises To Elevate Your Arms To Angela Bassett Status In No Time ›
- Here’s Why Angela Bassett Is Not A Fan Of People Telling Her She Looks Good For Her Age ›
- Angela Bassett On Why She Is Choosing The ‘Soft Life’ With Husband Courtney B. Vance ›
Related Articles Around the Web
When it comes to healing rituals for your zodiac sign, you want to especially take a look at the element that is more dominant in your birth chart. An earth sign or earth-dominant sign is going to thrive in healing experiences that involve Mother Earth and rituals that get them grounded such as yoga, hiking, placing their bare feet on the Earth, or "earthing." Being out in nature and doing grounding rituals are what best serve them. A fire sign, on the other hand, works well with fire energy such as candles and creativity, and with rituals that get their body moving and energy flowing.
Knowing what works best for you and your emotional and physical experience in life will help you on your healing journey, and below are some healing rituals for your zodiac sign to try sometime. Take what resonates, and listen to the guidance of your soul.
Healing Rituals for Aries
A good healing ritual for Aries involves activity and something to get your energy moving. Going for a hike with a nice view at the end of it is the perfect healing ritual for you. You'll get your exercise and spend time taking your mind away from anything heavy by being in the moment. Since you are a goal-oriented sign and flow well with things that make you feel more accomplished, taking a scenic hike is the perfect experience for you to unwind and connect with the body.
Healing Rituals for Taurus
A guided meditation in mother nature would serve a Taurus well. As an earth sign, the best healing rituals for you involve being in nature. Just breathing that air and having your feet touch the earth is a healing experience in and of itself, but doing something like meditation or yoga in this atmosphere is even more transcendent. Allowing your body to ground itself with Mother Earth, feeling your connection to all that is, and breathing fresh air is a good setup to heal. As a Taurus, you should get outside for your healing rituals.
Healing Rituals for Gemini
A Gemini’s healing journey involves releasing any clutter in the mind. As a Gemini, you need space to mentally decompress and get what you are feeling or thinking out. You don't hold things in, but if you are hurting that bad, you will carry a lot of that within out of fear of being too deep or vulnerable with others. A good healing ritual for Gemini is to talk to a friend, family member, therapist, or confidant who will give you the floor and allow you to release without judgment or interruption. Healing for you is about letting go.
Healing Rituals for Cancer
LWA Dann Tardif/ Getty Images
A relaxing, candlelit bath is a healing ritual that serves Cancer well. Healing for you is about taking the time to regulate your emotions, coming back to your center, and feeling a sense of calmness in your life. Being a water sign, rituals that involve water energy are fulfilling for your soul. Add in some of your favorite crystals, flowers, essential oils, a book, or some relaxing music, and you are set for a healing and therapeutic experience. Your healing ritual should involve something that allows your emotions to flow, and a space where you feel safe, like your home.
Healing Rituals for Leo
Healing for Leo is all about getting back to feeling like themselves again. Oftentimes when you feel the need to heal or get back to your center, it’s coming from a place of feeling outside of yourself or not connected to who you are. A healing experience and ritual for Leo would be to stand in front of a mirror and repeat “I love you” or other motivating daily rituals every day. Being face to face with yourself and looking at the reflection before you helps you tap into the depths of your soul, and is a space to give yourself the utmost love.
Healing Rituals for Virgo
A good healing ritual for a Virgo would be to go to a flower market or connect with the healing energy of the flowers. Flowers exude an energy of beauty, healing, softness, allowing, forgiveness and love. The saying “Don’t forget to stop and smell the roses,” is perfect for a Virgo as you can get so lost in the details and the day-to-day that you forget to be in the moment and sit in gratitude with what is. You can connect with the healing energy of flowers by creating a bouquet, taking a bath with flowers, lighting a candle surrounded by your favorite flowers, putting flower essence essential oils on, being around flowers, and quite literally smelling the roses.
Healing Rituals for Libra
Drinking tea is a special healing ritual for Libra. Tea is calming, tea is peaceful, and tea is also great to have over a conversation, which is also another healing ritual for Libra. Some cultures and practices even use the leaves of tea as a way to do readings and foretell the future. Not to mention the health benefits of drinking tea for the body, a simple cup of tea is the perfect ritual for Libra to enjoy something nice for themselves and allow your thoughts to catch up with your body. A Libra can tend to be focused on things that are happening outside of themselves, and enjoying a nice cup of tea can be the perfect healing ritual for Libra to take a moment and find your balance again.
Healing Rituals for Scorpio
PeopleImages/ Getty Images
Healing for a Scorpio is a deep and transformative experience. Your life is all about evolving on your journey, and you tend to come out of tough experiences in an even better position than before. You take your healing and personal evolution seriously, but you also tend to be a sign that bottles up all of your emotions before it’s too late. A good healing ritual for a Scorpio involves acts of letting go. On a Full Moon, a Scorpio should write down all of the things you are looking to let go of. Write down emotions, past experiences, negative people, and old objects of affection that are now a sour memory. Then get a white candle and burn the piece of paper (safely) while focusing on lovingly letting go of those things.
Healing Rituals for Sagittarius
Reading a book, creating art, or journaling your thoughts are all good healing rituals for Sagittarius. Creating something out of nothing gets you in an enlightened and joyful mood, and brings the right circumstances for inner clarity. Even healing for Sagittarius needs to be a fun experience or you will get bored and try something else. Putting a whole bunch of colors before them, a pen and paper, or an enticing book, allows Sagittarius to remember the bigger picture and allow enough space from your challenges to believe in something better.
Healing Rituals for Capricorn
Shadow work is a beneficial healing ritual for Capricorn. Now, shadow work is serious business and requires you to get very real with yourself, but this sense of straight-to-the-point, let’s get to the bottom-of-it attitude involved in shadow work is perfect for an earthy Capricorn. Shadow work can be done through meditation or with someone licensed in the work, and by working with your unconscious mind to uncover repressed emotions, past trauma, or aspects of yourself that you keep hidden. This is a very healing and cathartic experience, but as with all spiritual awakenings, there is an aspect to it that can feel uncomfortable as well. There are different approaches to shadow work, and it's about finding out what works for you here.
Healing Rituals for Aquarius
A good healing ritual for an Aquarius would be to pull an oracle card for spiritual guidance or to get an oracle card reading. Oracle cards are different from tarot cards as you tend to be a lighter experience, and you are also more about giving divine guidance rather than foretelling the future. Not only do you get to recognize how strong your intuition is in the process, but it also helps you remember that life is so much bigger than a lot of things that get us tied up.
Healing Rituals for Pisces
A good healing ritual for a Pisces is to do an energy cleanse. You tend to carry a lot of the emotions and experiences of others in your auric field, as you are a highly compassionate and intuitive soul and pick up on a lot. You should take energy clearing and healing very seriously in your life, and always make sure you are clearing your energy. Burning incense, rosemary, cedar, and juniper is a way to cleanse the body. You can also visualize a white healing light surrounding your body.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by LWA Dann Tardif/ Getty Images
Social media can make moving and traveling abroad an exhilarating experience. However, there are serious things one should consider before making the jump. Instead of romanticizing what it looks like to live and move abroad, assessing your day-to-day life and the responsibilities of being a foreigner in a new land is worth it. Before I started traveling in 2021, I dreamed and planned for years. I went down the rabbit hole of YouTube videos and blogs to learn everything I could about traveling full-time.
There is no need to rush the lifestyle you desire. However, if the digital nomad lifestyle is something you are curious to explore, then take your time and set concrete goals. Goals can include securing a remote job or having a certain amount of money in your savings account before the big move. Before you know it, the 6-12 months or however long it takes will go by fast.
So, besides dreaming about all the beautiful Instagram content you'll create on your travels, check out the things you should consider before taking the leap to move abroad.
1.Voting
Thomas Barwick/Getty Images
While living and traveling abroad, do not forget your responsibility as a citizen to vote. Voting abroad does not have to be a confusing or overwhelming process. All travelers have to do is request an absentee ballot online and mail it back before the election day. American citizens abroad can request a ballot at https://www.fvap.gov and select their state for instructions on requesting and returning their absentee ballot.
2.Paying Bills
You may be just living out of Airbnbs and hotels, but bills will arise for an extended period of time. When living abroad, you'll need to account for how you want to set up your phone bill and how bills are paid locally for your country. For example, when I lived in Europe for the summer, it was easier and cheaper to set up my phone using a local SIM card. I had to purchase one at the airport and paid my bill monthly through their website. During my time in Mexico City, I quickly learned that I could only pay my bills in cash, seeing I didn't have a local bank account.
Understanding how the country you're moving to processes and accepts payments of bills is vital — especially so you don't get your water or electricity cut off due to a simple miscommunication. In addition to paying bills, you'll want to set up your finances and budgets. Consider looking into credit and debit cards with no foreign transactions or ATM fees and cards that offer points so your money can go further and work for you!
3.Visas
ljubaphoto/Getty Images
Does the country you're considering require a visa? Do you have to apply for it online beforehand, or can you receive a visa on arrival? It would help your transition if you asked these questions and researched the answers before deciding on a country. As American citizens, we can enter most countries visa-free or get a visa on arrival for 3 to 6 months with just our passports. However, if you're looking to move to another country for over a year or longer, that will require a different type of visa.
Since the pandemic, most countries have created "digital nomad visas" that cater to how the world and travel are changing. Make sure to visit the official government website of the country you are interested in moving to so that you fully understand how the visa process works.
4.Taking Time to Adjust
When moving and traveling to a new country for an extended period of time, remember to give yourself a ton of grace in the process. In the beginning, everything will feel like a new high, but as you slowly find your roots, life might start to feel more "normal" — and that is fine. While you're traveling, things back at home might change, or you may miss a birthday or two, but give yourself grace because you are embarking on a journey that few are brave enough to do! It will take time to make friends and feel like yourself. However, the reward of travel is not in the fabulous photos we take but in the people we become along the way.
5.Building Real Community
Hinterhaus Productions/Getty Images
When moving to a new country alone one of the first things you will want is new friends. While making friends as an adult is not easy, there are definitely actions you can take to help you build community in your new city. Building community is important not only for social reasons but for safety as well. I was recently in a group chat for Black expats and the admin of the group created a Google Doc where we could list our emergency contact in case of an emergency. It’s important that someone you trust knows your location, that’s especially true when living abroad.
The best way to find community is honestly through social media. You can search groups on Facebook and Instagram that will show you community events and the best places to hang out. You can search phrases like “Black women in Mexico City” or “Black Expats in Dubai” and swap out your location. Once you meet a few people, make sure to show up and put yourself out there! Invite people to meet up with you, and remember everyone else is also looking for friends, so you’re not alone.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Westend61/ Getty Images
From Your Site Articles
- Black Women Expats Share What To Know About Dating Abroad ›
- These Black Women Have Everything You Need To Make Your Dreams Of Living Abroad Come True ›
- 4 Women Talk Living Abroad And The Effects Of The Global Pandemic ›
- Moving Overseas Helped Me Pay Off Over $200K In American Debt ›
- These Women Left America To Live Out Their Black Girl Magic Abroad ›
Related Articles Around the Web
Exclusive Interviews
Latest Posts
