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5 Times Saying "No" At Work Is Necessary For The Career You Want
One of my greatest strengths and weaknesses is that I am people-pleaser. Growing up, I was always that kid that didn't like to let people down and I would be the first person that would say “yes" whenever I was needed.
Not much has changed except that now at the age of 25, I don't care that much about what other people think. As I am growing as a young professional, I am also evolving as a woman and I have learned that what is meant for me is meant for me, and each time an opportunity presents itself, I should not feel obligated to say "yes".
I've learned that the grass is not always greener on the other side, and everything that glitters isn't gold. Most importantly, I have learned that it is okay to say "no" when you need to because when you say "yes" to any and everything, you sometimes lose sight of yourself and your own goals.
Although saying "no" is a lot easier said than done, especially if you have grown accustomed to pleasing others, sometimes you may be better off by turning people or things down.
Listed below are five instances where it is necessary to say "no" -- or "hell no" in some cases:
You Are Not The Woman For The Job
Have you ever lied on a resume or in an interview? Of course you have! We all have at least once in our lives. If you haven't, you will one day. Lying, or exaggerating the truth, for a job is never the best idea. From my experience as the liar and as the person being lied to, the truth will always be revealed.
When you are filling out that job application or responding to a job inquiry, if you are honestly unqualified, don't lie to yourself, or talk your ego up. Simply tell yourself "no" and move on.
You Don't Have As Much Free Time As You Thought
When I first decided to freelance, I reached out to so many companies for work. Between my 9-5 job that keeps me hella busy, writing a ton of content week after week, and working on my own personal brand, I was TIRED. Honestly really "tired" isn't even the best word to describe how I was feeling because I was way past that.
From that experience, I learned that every opportunity that is presented to you may be legit, but it may not be good for you at that particular moment. Before you say "yes" to every job offer that you receive, analyze your life and figure out how much time, and energy that you can truly dedicate to the new opportunity. If you realize that you cannot dedicate as much time as the job needs and as you want, you should probably not pursue that opportunity at that time.
You Deserve Better, And You Know It
When I was job searching, I made it a priority to take my job search extremely seriously. As a grown woman with grown bills, I knew I needed a career and not a job. I needed a challenging career, and not just mundane work. When I interviewed with companies, I came ready with my notepad full of questions because not only were they interviewing me, but you better believe I was interviewing them. I knew in my heart that I wasn't looking to get a job just for pay, because honestly I could snag a paycheck from anywhere.
As several job offers came through, I declined many of them because I knew that the best job would present itself soon. I learned how to say "no" to those job offers even when I wanted to say "yes" because as we all know, the job search routine can be depressing and exhausting. However, when you deserve better and you know it, it becomes easier to turn down things that are not worthy of you.
You Are Not Passionate About It And Would Rather Be Doing Other Things
When you don't have passion for what you do, it shows in your work and attitude. Trust me, I have been there before, and I have seen it before in old employees. If you are given the opportunity to work on a new project or start a new job that you have zero passion for, don't waste your time doing if it doesn't interest you. Feel free to say "no" when the passion is not there and use your idle time to find opportunities that align with your values and interests.
You Work Harder For Others Than You Do For Yourself
Businessman, investor, and speaker Farrah Gray once said, "Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs." If you have your own aspirations, make sure you are taking the time out to work on yourself, and accomplish your own goals. The worst thing that you can do is work 40 hours a week for someone else and not one hour on yourself.
Sometimes when we say "no" or back down from opportunities, we feel like we are being cowardly and are letting others down. Every job and opportunity that comes our way isn't meant for us. We have to learn how to be selfish and go after opportunities when we should, and back away when the opportunity isn't meant for us.
Featured image by Getty Images
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Originally published January 14, 2017.
- The power of saying no at the office - CNN ›
- Why saying 'no' gets you ahead | Fortune ›
- Your guide to saying no at work without feeling guilty ›
- The Truth about Saying No At Work - How to Keep Your Job ›
- 9 things you should always say no to at work - Business Insider ›
- How to Politely Say No to Anyone at Work -The Muse ›
- Why You Need To Say 'No' At Work (Hint: Your Work Will Get Better) ›
- How to Say No to Taking on More Work ›
Brittani Hunter is a proud PVAMU alumni and the founder of The Mogul Millennial, a business and career platform for Black Millennials. Meet Brittani on Twitter and on the Gram at @BrittaniLHunter and @mogulmillennial.
How This New Bond Repair Line Transformed One Mother's Postpartum Shedding Into The Ultimate Curl Comeback
This article is in partnership with SheaMoisture
For Crystal Obasanya, her wash day woes came shortly after her son did. The beauty and lifestyle content creator had been natural for years, but during postpartum, she quickly learned about one reality many mothers can relate to experiencing: postpartum hair loss. “Sis had thinning hair. Sis had split ends,” she shared about her hair changes in a Reel via xoNecole.
Over a year into her postpartum journey, Crystal explained she also had dry, brittle hair, noting that keeping it hydrated before pregnancy had already been “a task.” The 4C natural recalled going from thick hair during pregnancy to a thin hairline due to postpartum shedding as “devastating.” When it came to strengthening and revitalizing her hair, the new SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection was just the thing she needed to elevate her damaged coils to revive and thrive status and get them poppin' again.
SheaMoisture is providing us with the cheat code for transforming dry and damaged strands into thriving and deeply nourished crowns. By unveiling their 4-step hair system, the SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection is equipping you with the tools to reverse signs of hair damage caused by protective styling, heat, and color and is uniquely formulated for Type 3 and 4 hair textures.
The haircare system revives damaged natural hair by repairing and rebuilding broken hair bonds through a game-changing combination of HydroPlex Technology and AminoBlend Complex, a unique blend of fortifying amino acids formulated specifically for curly and coily hair. Scientifically proven to reduce breakage by 84% and make your hair six times stronger (vs. non-conditioning shampoo), the collection infuses your hair with the nourishment it craves and the strength it deserves.
All five products of the SheaMoisture Bond Collection are infused with natural strengthening ingredients like Amla Oil and fair-trade shea butter. The collection consists of the 4-step breakage-fighting Bond Repair system, as well as the Bonding Oil.
“When trying it out, I quickly noticed that my hair felt revived and renewed, and my curls were so hydrated,” Crystal said while using the Amla-infused Bond Repair Leave-In Conditioner. “I also felt my hair strands were stronger.” So much so that the influencer felt brave enough to get her hair braided shortly thereafter. “I can definitely say that I will be keeping it in my hair wash routine,” she added in the caption of her Reel about her positive experience using the products.
SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection is making bond-building a key player in your wash day routines and the purveyor of life for thirsty manes. Because who doesn't want stronger, shinier, happier hair?
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Rejuvenate your hair with SheaMoisture Bond Repair Shampoo, your go-to solution for luscious locks. Packed with hella hydration power, this shampoo adds moisture by 60% while removing buildup without stripping your strands. This shampoo gently cleanses impurities while significantly enhancing shine, smoothness, and softness.
The Bond Repair Collection Shampoo is the first step in the 4-step Bond Repair system, all of which are powered by the uniquely formulated AminoBlend, and HydroPlex, SheaMoisture’s technology that rebuilds hair strength at its core.
Step Two: Bond Repair Collection Conditioner
Tailored to repair styling damage, this creamy conditioner locks in 12x more moisture than standard non-conditioning shampoos, boosting damaged hair strength by 1.5x with significantly less breakage. The creamy SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Conditioner deeply hydrates, enhances manageability, and leaves your hair looking healthier and shinier.
Step Three: Bond Repair Collection Masque
This Ultra Moisturizing reparative masque is a moisture-rich game-changer for those dealing with the aftermath of hair damage caused by styling. The SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Masque delivers 13 times more moisture compared to non-conditioning shampoos, ensuring your hair feels nourished and soft. Designed to repair and rejuvenate, this masque significantly strengthens damaged hair — making it twice as strong while reducing breakage.
Step Four: Bond Repair Collection Leave-In Conditioner
Elevate your curl game with SheaMoisture’s Bond Repair Collection Leave-In Conditioner. Lightweight and hydrating, the Bond Repair Leave-In Conditioner provides 12x more moisture than non-conditioning shampoos and tames frizz with 24-hour humidity control. Designed to define curls and coils, the leave-in conditioner enhances softness and shine allowing you to detangle effortlessly.
Bonding Oil
The SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Bonding Oil is a multitasking all-in-one formula that acts as a heat protectant and provides the hair with moisture, strength, shine, damage protection, and intense nourishment. This lightweight oil not only offers 24-hour frizz and humidity control but also fortifies your tresses, making them up to 5 times stronger with significantly less breakage.
Featured image courtesy
Shaunie Henderson On Being A Nontraditional Pastor Wife
Shaunie Henderson, the creator and executive producer of Basketball Wives, redefines traditional expectations as a pastor's spouse and first lady of The Lighthouse Church.
The star's journey began with a whirlwind romance with Pastor Keion Henderson in 2020, which led to their marriage years later. Since then, Shaunie has embraced many typical first lady roles, including supporting her husband, engaging in ministry responsibilities, providing spiritual leadership, and conducting community outreach.
Yet, the 49-year-old's background sets her apart from other first ladies. Shaunie brings a unique perspective as a public figure, which stems from her previous marriage to NBA star Shaquille O'Neal and her experience in reality television.
In an interview with xoNecole, while promoting her memoir Undefeated, the Basketball Wives creator discussed what being a first lady means to her and how she has lived her life non-traditionally.
When asked if she had always been nontraditional, Shaunie revealed that throughout her life, she has made it her mission to better herself by learning from experiences and breaking harmful cycles.
Shaunie Henderson and Pastor Keion Henderson
Photo by Robin L Marshall/Getty Images
“I think that's just who I am. I can’t say I intentionally go against the grain. In the book, I talk about things from my childhood, like my dad being late all the time. I was totally opposite with my kids when they were in school. I was always there early. My mother is not affectionate, and she doesn't verbally say, ‘I love you,’ but she does things to let you know. That's the way she shows her love,” she said when describing her relationship with her parents.
“But because I missed that 'I love you' and hugging and kissing, I do that with my kids. I try to always give what I needed myself. There were basketball wives who weren’t very nice to me, so I went out of my way to make sure that once I was a wife that I didn't treat anybody else like that. No one was going to feel like that on my watch.”
Toward the end of the conversation, when discussing her first lady responsibilities and the pressures of upholding that image, the mother of five explained she isn't too hard on herself to fit the mold, given her significantly different background from most first ladies and her relatively new role.
“As far as being first lady, now, I'm not knocking how any first ladies decide to operate but I just knew that the idea of what that usually is was not me. And, to be honest, rightfully so. I'm probably the only first lady that created a reality show that has been on television since 2010. My life is not remotely close to that of most first ladies. We've experienced completely different things. Most of them have been pastor’s wives for a long time, this is all new for me. I come with an entirely different journey; that wouldn’t lend itself to being a traditional first lady,” she stated.
Shaunie's nontraditional approach appears to work in her favor, as she has been welcomed with open arms just as she is.
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Feature image by Marcus Ingram/Getty Images