Anyone who says that penis size doesn't matter is lying. If you've got a penis, or you have sex with a penis, you know that certain sizes and shapes feel better than others. There isn't a right or a wrong size, nor a good or a bad. All penises are great, no matter the size, but there are some pros and cons for each.
Here are some sex tips for every sized penis.
Sex With a Small Penis
Men with smaller penises are often much harder when erect than those with a large penis – as the blood flow has less space to fill. I don’t know about you but a harder penis equals a good time to me.
The Pros of Sex With a Small Penis:
Better and more attentive lovers
Quiet as it’s kept, small penises can be more enjoyable than larger ones. Almost every tiny dicked dude I've had sex with was a better lover than his big penis counterpart. Guys with less-than-average penises tend to have a lot to prove, and who am I to try and stop them?
Better for anal play
When it comes to anal sex, size most definitely matters. Most women complain that anal hurts. A bigger penis tends to be too much for butt sex. I’m way more excited to have anal sex when I see that the guy doesn’t have a third leg. Small penises are ideal for backdoor fun because they don’t cause pain, tearing, bleeding, or discomfort.
Easier to make adjustments
You can always make a small penis larger, but you can’t make a large penis smaller. With sex toys such as penis extenders any penis can become a bigger penis. Penis extenders are external devices that stretch the penis to make it longer. You can also use a cock ring to create a firmer, bigger erection. As well as penis pumps—a vacuum pump— that can temporarily grow a penis up to an inch in both length and girth.
The Cons of Sex With a Small Penis:
Limited range of motion
Smaller penises tend to “fall out” more often, creating a limitation in the type of sexual positions they can perform. Positions like doggystyle and spooning are great positions that will give maximum access. As a general rule, people with smaller penises should stick with positions that facilitate deep penetration, to utilize the entire shaft length.
Koldunova_Anna/Getty Images
Sex With a Average Penis
Random fact, most men are average. The average penis in America is just over 5 inches. Only 15% of all men have penis larger than 7 inches and just a tiny 2% are bigger than 8 inches, as documented in a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. So by these statistics, most men have an average normal penis of about 5 inches. But average doesn’t have to mean bad, in fact, when it comes to sex, its a good thing.
The Pros of Sex with an Average Penis:
Works with most positions
If a guy is on the smaller or bigger side, certain positions can be tough. If he’s in the average range, the world is your sexual oyster and you can pretty much try anything without too much discomfort.
More comfortable
Average penises just feel better. Contrary to popular belief, most of us don’t enjoy having our cervix banged up. Average sized penis fits more comfortably in the cervix. Never have I ever heard someone say that sex was painful from an average penis. The most sensitive part of the vagina is the lower part, and a man with an average penis will have no problem reaching it. He can cause all of the pleasure without all the length.
Better blow jobs
It is a lot easier to perform oral on a man with an average penis than on a man with a larger or smaller one. When he’s average, you don't have to worry about it fitting in your mouth or gagging and they’re easier to deep throat.
The Cons of Sex With an Average Penis:
I see none! Moving right along!
tenkende/Getty Images
Sex With a Large Penis
For some people size really does matter. Although size has no bearing on its ability to give and receive pleasure some people just prefer bigger. The bigger, the better. There's nothing wrong with that, we all have preferences. To each their own.
The Pros of Sex With a Large Penis:
Never will be too small
A lot of men worry about being big enough to please a woman. By now we all know that it's not the size of the boat that matters but the motion in the ocean. Skill trumps size any day, but at least if you have a large penis you won’t have to worry about a partner finding you to be too small.
Easier orgasms for some partners
Whether from just the excitement or from actually being stimulated more, some people find it easier to climax with a larger penis. In particular, a thicker penis will provide more of a "stretching" and "filling" feeling. Girthy penises can stimulate the G spot without the use of specific positions or angles. For women a longer penis can also reach the posterior and anterior fornices, which can be very stimulating.
The Cons of Sex With a Large Penis:
Too big
Big penises sound fun on paper but in real life, bigger is not always better. There is such a thing as "too big." That might be a hard thing to accept, and what constitutes as too big differs for each person. Having sex with someone with a too big penis can be painful.
Foreplay and lube are mandatory
I'll always advocate for the importance of foreplay in sex with any size of the penis. There's so much more to good sex than just thrusting of dick in and out. When you have a partner with a larger penis foreplay becomes mandatory. Lube is also mandatory; very few women produce nearly enough natural lubricant to handle the sustained action of a thick penis.
Limited sex positions
Excess length poses a real problem with heterosexual sex: vaginas are not bottomless pits and the cervix at the back end is for most women very sensitive. This means that certain positions like the ever-popular doggystyle are off limits, but sex positions like cowgirl and missionary are better suited because they avoid thrusting too deep.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by LaylaBird/Getty Images
- Penis Size Doesn't Matter To Me - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love ... ›
- Why Can't I Orgasm During Sex? Inconsistent Orgasms - xoNecole ... ›
- 10 Ways To Make Using A Condom So Much More Pleasurable ›
- What To Do When Your Partner Is Too Big And Sex Is Painful ›
- Penis Size Doesn't Matter To Me - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
RELATED
Kayla Nicole says she wore a dress that was once worn by Braxton herself for the Halloween costume. “It’s not a secret Toni is more on the petite side. I’m obsessed with all 5’2” of her,” she tells xoNecole via email. “But I’m 5’10'' and not missing any meals, honey, so to my surprise, when I got the dress and it actually fit, I knew it was destiny.”
The episode was the perfect way for the multihyphenate to take control of her own narrative. By addressing the viral moment on her own platform, she was able to stir the conversation and keep the focus on her adoration for Braxton, an artist she says she grew up listening to and who still makes her most-played playlist every year. Elsewhere, she likely would’ve received questions about whether or not the costume was a subliminal aimed at her ex-boyfriend and his pop star fiancée. “I think that people will try to project their own narratives, right?” she said, hinting at this in the episode. “But, for me personally – I think it’s very important to say this in this moment – I’m not in the business of tearing other women down. I’m in the business of celebrating them.”
Kayla Nicole is among xoNecole’s It Girl 100 Class of 2025, powered by SheaMoisture, recognized in the Viral Voices category for her work in media and the trends she sets on our timelines, all while prioritizing her own mental and physical health. As she puts it: “Yes, I’m curating conversations on my podcast The Pre-Game, and cultivating community with my wellness brand Tribe Therepē.”
Despite being the frequent topic of conversation online, Kayla Nicole says she’s learning to take advantage of her growing social media platform without becoming consumed by it. “I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out,” she says.
On The Pre-Game, which launched earlier this year, she has positioned herself as listeners “homegirl.” “There’s definitely a delicate dance between being genuine and oversharing, and I’ve had to learn that the hard way. Now I share from a place of reflection, not reaction,” she says. “If it can help someone feel seen or less alone, I’ll talk about it within reason. But I’ve certainly learned to protect parts of my life that I cherish most. I share what serves connection but doesn’t cost me peace.
"I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out."
Credit: Malcolm Roberson
Throughout each episode, she sips a cocktail and addresses trending topics (even when they involve herself). It’s a platform the Pepperdine University alumnus has been preparing to have since she graduated with a degree in broadcast journalism, with a concentration in political science.
“I just knew I was going to end up on a local news network at the head anchor table, breaking high speed chases, and tossing it to the weather girl,” she says. Instead, she ended up working as an assistant at TMZ before covering sports as a freelance reporter. (She’s said she didn’t work for ESPN, despite previous reports saying otherwise.) The Pre-Game combines her love for pop culture and sports in a way that once felt inaccessible to her in traditional media.
She’s not just a podcaster, though. When she’s not behind the mic, taking acting classes or making her New York Fashion Week debut, Kayla Nicole is also busy elevating her wellness brand Tribe Therepē, where she shares her workouts and the workout equipment that helps her look chic while staying fit. She says the brand will add apparel to its line up in early 2026.
“Tribe Therepē has evolved into exactly what I have always envisioned. A community of women who care about being fit not just for the aesthetic, but for their mental and emotional well-being too. It’s grounded. It’s feminine. It’s strong,” she says. “And honestly, it's a reflection of where I am in my life right now. I feel so damn good - mentally, emotionally, and physically. And I am grateful to be in a space where I can pour that love and light back into the community that continues to pour into me.”
Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
Featured image by Malcolm Roberson
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Shutterstock