

I don’t care what anyone says when it comes to a sign of aging that you are never fully prepared for; it’s got to be the first time you catch sight of gray hair — I don’t mean one that’s on your head (although that can be a bit of a trip too); I mean, when one creeps up in your pubic region. I remember the first time I got wind of one of my own. Whew, chile.
And don’t even get me started on how my waxer won’t let me forget the fact that now I have more than just a couple of ‘em, which is wild because the gray hairs on my head are still pretty minimal…all things considered. And althoughgenetics and good old-fashioned aging are the biggest causes for what makes our hair go from its original color to silver, gray, or white, I was actually surprised to learn there are several other health-related factors that can have our pubes going lighter (especiallyif it’s sooner or at an accelerated pace).
If you’re curious to know what those things are, here are the seven leading ones.
1. A Fungal Infection
If you’ve never heard ofWhite Piedra before, consider it to be your “something new” for the day. Basically, it’s a type of fungal infection that directly affects your hair shaft to the point where it looks like you have pearly nodules that are all over your hair strands.Some other symptoms of this infection are your hair will end up feeling dry, brittle, and gritty and your scalp might feel painful or really itchy. Although this infection can show up anywhere hair grows, it’s most “popular” when it comes to eyebrows and eyelashes, mustaches and beards, and yes, where your pubic hair grows.
And y’all, while Google wants you to think that you can self-diagnose and cure everything on the planet if you sense that you could have this in your pubic hair, it’s best to get a confirmation from your doctor. A prescription-based shampoo or oral medication may be needed to thoroughly remove it.
2. A Vitamin B12 Deficiency
A nutrient that’s essential when it comes to keeping your nerves and red blood cells in good condition is vitamin B12. Some signs that you’re not getting as much of it in your system as you should are unexplainable fatigue, a loss of appetite, weight loss, vision issues, and feeling irritable.
Know what else lets you know that you need to get more B12 into your body? Yep, you guessed it: gray hair, including gray pubic ones. Since B12 helps to keep your red blood cells thriving, when there’s not enough of it in your system, that means your hair follicles can end up becoming malnourished — and that can reduce how much melanin they produce.
That’s why it’s a good idea to have a diet that’s filled with vitamin B12-enriched foods like tuna, salmon, fortified cereals, yogurt, and eggs, and, if need be, that you take a B12 supplement as well.
3. An Imbalanced Thyroid
Whether you’re dealing withhypothyroidism (underactive thyroid) or hyperthyroidism (overactive thyroid), they both can result in premature graying. That’s becausewhen your thyroid isn’t as balanced as it should be, that can affect not only the growth cycle of your tresses, it can impact how much melanin is produced, too. So, if your pubic hair seems suddenly whiteand you’ve got signs of hypothyroidism (fatigue, constipation, dry skin, muscle weakness, and/or an irregular period) or hyperthyroidism (increased heart rate, weak nails, restlessness, increased appetite, and/or more than usual bowel movements) — don’t underestimate any of this. Speak with your physician so that they can figure out exactly what is going on.
4. Vitiligo
Something that you may have never considered to be a reason for gray pubic hair isthe skin condition vitiligo. Yet, when you stop to consider that it’s what happens when your skin starts to lose its pigment in noticeable amounts, it makes all of the sense in the world. Although research continues to be ongoing, what we know for sure isvitiligo is a chronic autoimmune disorder that oftentimes can be more managed than actually “cured;” however, there are a variety of treatments available, from creams and oral medications to light therapy and surgical procedures.
Since white patches on the skin, loss of pigment in your mucous membranes, and premature graying are all symptoms of vitiligo, if you’re noticing all three of these things happening at once, make an appointment to meet with your doctor as soon as possible.
5. Pubic Lice
If you’ve ever heard that Black people don’t get lice, the truth is a bit less — pardon the pun — black and white than that.The fact is that, although it can be more challenging for lice to grasp onto our tighter curls (when our hair is in its natural state) and the hair products that we use can oftentimes cause lice to slip off before making a (temporary home), don’t sleep — we can still get it; and not just on our heads.
When it’s lice in your pubes, the “street name” for it is crabs. Although they have a reputation for being an STD, the reality is they aren’t. Crabs are tiny insects that can be transmitted through sexual contact; however, you can get them in other ways as well. It’s also important to know that crabs can show up on hair that grows on the chest, armpits, facial hair, eyebrows, and eyelids, and the symptoms include extreme itchiness, irritated skin, discolored spots on your thighs, abdomen, and buttocks, a low-grade fever and small white dots (which are actually lice eggs…chile).
If any of this is going on, make an appointment with your doctor. If they confirm that pubic lice is what’s happening, they will provide you with a list of things that you must do over the next 10 days or so. Oh, and they might recommend that you get tested for STDs…just to be on the safe side (because if someone is having sex with you while ignoring a lice problem, there’s no telling what else they may have going on…feel me?).
6. Smoking
At this point, who doesn’t know that smoking (tobacco) is absolutely not a good idea? When it comes to your hair, specifically,smoking is problematic because it negatively affects blood circulation to your scalp, it can stagnate your hair growth cycles, it may cause your hair follicles to become inflamed, it can potentially make your hair dry and brittle — and yes, it can result in premature graying. A part of the reason is thatnicotine has the ability to actually cause build-up on your hair follicles. When that happens, it can result in a loss of hair pigmentation…even in the genital region. Just one more solid reason to quit if smoking is your thing.
7. Stress
If someone has ever told you that you’re giving them gray hair, as the old saying goes,there is truth in all humor. Although you might’ve always chalked it up to being nothing more than a very popular myth,stress can indeed cause your hair to lose its natural pigment. That’s because, when you are stressed out, your system releases a chemical called norepinephrine. When it enters into your hair follicles, it “attacks” your melanocyte stem cells which is where your natural hair color resides. So, if you’ve got more than a few gray pubes popping up all of a sudden — pause and ponder how much stress you’ve got going on. Believe it or not, that could actually be the culprit.
___
The reason why this type of article was important to write is the reality is we can learn a lot about our health via our hair — yes, even our pubic hair. If, at the end of the day, yours is the result of nothing more than time doing its thing,you can always dye it or remove your hair altogether. Or you can make peace with your gray pubes like I’ve chosen to do.
I mean, my waxer (and my mirror when I do my vaginal self-exams) says that she’s fly with some salt ‘n pepper. Who am I to debate the truth? #Elmoshrug
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by InspirationGP/Getty Images
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image courtesy
Patricia "Ms. Pat" Williams has always marched to the beat of her own brutally honest drum — and that’s exactly what makes her so magnetic to watch. Whether she’s making us laugh until we cry on The Ms. Pat Show or now laying down the law on her courtroom series Ms. Pat Settles It, the comedian-turned-judge proves time and again that there’s nobody quite like her. Unfiltered, hilarious, and real to the core, she’s made a name for herself by turning her life’s journey — including the pain — into purpose.
Now in her second season of Ms. Pat Settles It, airing on BET and BET+, she’s not only delivering verdicts — she’s dishing out life lessons in between the laughs. The show feels less like your typical courtroom drama and more like your outspoken auntie running a court session at the family cookout, complete with celebrity jurors, petty disputes, and a whole lot of real talk. xoNecole sat down with Ms. Pat to talk about her wildest cases, balancing motherhood and fame, and why sleeping in separate bedrooms might just be the key to joy.
CASE CLOSED, BUT MAKE IT CHAOS
If you’ve ever tuned in to Ms. Pat Settles It, you already know the episode titles alone deserve awards. But when we asked Ms. Pat which case stood out most, she didn’t even have to think twice. “There was this one woman — Shay — who got out of federal prison and was working for her old bunkmate. But the bunkmate didn’t want to pay her!” she says, chuckling. “That girl came in the courtroom like a firecracker.”
It’s moments like those that remind viewers Ms. Pat isn’t just bringing the laughs — she’s giving people a platform, even if it’s a little messy. And if her court ever gets turned into a real-life franchise, we need Shay on the promo posters immediately.
WHEN THE CELEBS SHOW OUT
It’s already hard enough to get a word in with Ms. Pat running the show, but throw in a celebrity jury featuring Tamar Braxton, Ray J, TS Madison, and Karlous Miller? Whew. “I don’t even try to control them,” she laughs. “Thank God we have something called editing.” According to her, behind the scenes, things get wild — but that chaos is part of the magic. “People only see the cut-down version. What you don’t see is all of us losing it in real time.”
Still, Ms. Pat makes it work. The courtroom becomes a stage, but also a safe space for guests and jurors to show up as their full, unfiltered selves. “It was a wild season,” she explains. Let’s be honest — if your jury looks like a BET Awards afterparty, you might as well let it rock.
IF FAMILY COURT WAS REALLY A THING
Ms. Pat might wear the robe on screen, but at home, she’s still managing her own wild bunch. When asked what kind of case her kids would bring into her courtroom, she burst into laughter. “Oh, they’d be suing my oldest son for eating their food,” she says. “You know how you have that one roommate that eats up everybody’s food? I can see my oldest son getting sued for that..”
And let’s face it, we’ve all either been that sibling or have one. Ms. Pat says moments like that — the everyday family squabbles and real-life irritations — are what make her courtroom show so relatable.
THE VERDICT SHE WISHES SHE COULD REWRITE
Ms. Pat is known for keeping it real, even when the conversation turns serious. When asked if there was one “verdict” in her real life she’d change, she pauses for a second before answering. “I wish I had graduated high school,” she admits. “All my kids went to prom and I took all of their high school diplomas.”
“I wish I had graduated high school,” she admits. “All my kids went to prom and I took all of their high school diplomas.”
It’s a rite of passage in most Black households — your diploma doesn’t really belong to you, it lives at your mama or grandma’s house like a family heirloom.
HOW SHE STAYS GROUNDED
Between filming TV shows, headlining comedy tours, and running a household, Ms. Pat makes it very clear: she will find time to rest. “People swear I don’t sleep, but I do — I just knock out early and wake up early,” she shares. “And sometimes, I’ll just sit in my car.” She’s also a big fan of solo naps and mini getaways when things get overwhelming.
But one of her favorite forms of self-care? Separate bedrooms. “Me and my husband don’t sleep in the same room. That way, when I don’t feel like being bothered, I go to my space,” she laughs. She’s also found a new love for facials. “They’re addicting! I don’t need a lot — just sleep, a facial, and a little quiet.” Honestly? That’s a self-care routine we can get behind.
FROM PAIN TO PURPOSE
Ms. Pat’s story is one that’s deeply rooted in resilience — and she’s always been transparent about how her journey shaped her. Her advice to other Black women trying to turn their pain into purpose? Speak up. “You have to tell your story,” she says. “Because once you tell your story, you realize you’re not the only person that’s been through that situation.”
She adds that sharing your truth can be one of the most powerful things you do. “When you give a voice to pain so many other people who have that pain gravitate to you,” she says. “To heal, you have to speak out loud about it. What you keep inside is what eats you up.” Coming from someone who built an entire brand on truth-telling? We believe her.
WHAT’S NEXT FOR MS. PAT?
While Ms. Pat’s got her hands full with Ms. Pat Settles It and her comedy show, she hints there’s much more to come. “I got some stuff poppin’ that I can’t even talk about yet,” she teases. “But just know, like Kendrick [Lamar] said, we about to step out and show ‘em something.” That multi-genre deal with BET and Paramount is clearly working in her favor — and she’s not slowing down anytime soon.
She says one of her proudest moments in this chapter of her career is seeing things she once dreamed of finally come to life. “In this business, you never know what’s gonna work or what’s gonna stick. But now I’m working with a network that really understands me — and that’s special,” she says. “I feel seen. And I’m just getting started.”
Whether she’s in the courtroom cracking jokes or catching up on rest in her own sanctuary, Ms. Pat is living proof that success doesn’t have to come at the cost of authenticity. She’s rewriting the rules in real time — on her terms, in her voice, and for her people. As she continues to turn pain into purpose, laughter into legacy, and everyday mess into must-see TV, one thing’s clear: Ms. Pat is in her prime. And we’re lucky enough to watch it unfold.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Earl Gibson III/Shutterstock