Here's How To Make Meditation Less...Well, Boring
These are stressful times we're living in. Thankfully, there are some things that we can do to immediately relieve ourselves of worry, anxiety and built-up feelings of being completely overwhelmed. One of those things is to meditate. Now, before you try and find a billion of reasons why it's something that you should put off until, who knows when, it's important to keep in mind that it's very easy to do. It's all about finding a quiet spot, getting into a comfortable position and sitting in silence for 10-30 minutes at a time.
If you commit to doing this, even just a couple of times a week, there are scientific studies to support that it can (also) improve your ability to focus, cause you to be more empathetic to those around you, inspire you to be more creative, help you to make wiser decisions and strengthen your immune system. There is even research that states meditating can reduce symptoms related to phobias, help you to work through various addictions (like alcohol) and reduce your sensitivity to pain; meditation can even make you a more positive person.
If you just read all of that and was like, "I hear you Shellie, but meditation is just so boring to me," yeah, I hear you too. First, let me say that sometimes meditating can be a struggle because some of us don't know how to freakin' be still sometimes. Second, sometimes meditating can feel like it's on the ho-hum side of life. To that I'll just say that 1) it's not supposed to be like a day at Six Flags (remember that) and 2) there is not just one way to meditate.
In the spirit of that, below, I've enclosed a few things you can do to help make meditating less of an "ugh" (less boring) and more of an "oh!" (more fun) activity for you.
Buy Yourself a “Meditation Outfit”
It's funny. Kinda. What I'm referring to is the people I know who struggle with meditating are also the people who tend to struggle with getting a good night's rest too. When I ask them what their routine typically consists of, if there's one thing that they have in common is, they go to bed looking a hot mess, only to roll out of bed in the same tired leggings and raggedy T-shirt to attempt to meditate. SMDH.
Purchasing some new pajamas and an outfit to meditate in isn't about being frivolous. On the sleep tip, you are going to be in, whatever you're wearing, for 6-9 hours a night. You can be cute while you're comfortable (especially if you're sharing your bed with someone else). As far as meditation goes, I'm sure you've heard that if you dress for success, you tend to perform better. The same theory applies to meditating. If you have an outfit that's specifically reserved for meditation, not only can it make you feel better about doing it, it can also get you excited in a way. If you get a couple pair of yoga pants (like these knit yoga ones, girrrl) and some cute tank tops, you might be surprised by the pep that comes in your step as you sit down on your yoga mat.
Incorporate a Scent That You Enjoy
As I was checking out an article that shared some of the reasons why our sense of smell is so important to our everyday lives, one of the things it shared was it helps us to tap deeper into our emotional state. It even went so far as to state that, a part of the reason why the perfume industry is such a lucrative one is because, they spend a lot of money researching what scents will provoke certain feelings and desires. So yeah, making sure you've got just the right scent happening during your meditation, that can also spark some additional interest in meditating.
For instance, the woodsy scent of sandalwood has quite the reputation for igniting inner spiritual work and chakra balance. The musky scent of patchouli can keep you calm and grounded. Lavender is a fabulous de-stressor. The combination of frankincense and myrrh will help to purify your senses while encouraging you to release anxiety. The floral scent of neroli is not only an aphrodisiac, but it also helps to remove negative emotions and can even decrease depression-related symptoms and insomnia.
All you need to do is purchase these essential oils to put on your wrists or in a diffuser, or you can buy some soy candles that are made up of these scents.
The more you study essential oils and aromatherapy, the more you'll find yourself looking forward to picking just the right scent to go along with whatever you want meditation to provide for you, on any given day.
Play “Non-Triggering” Music
When it comes to meditation and music, different "experts" have different perspectives. While some think that sounds will do nothing but distract you, others believe that it's all about selecting the right kind of music. When you do, it can calm your mind, release stress, improve your level of concentration, make you feel more positive and, if you meditate before turning in at night, it can help you to sleep more soundly too.
The key is to avoid the kind of music that will trigger any type of negativity. Like, if you recently broke up with your man, you probably don't need to meditate to the playlist he made for you. Instead, instrumental music, soft jazz, and even nature sounds are things that can definitely put you in good spirits and keep you from feeling like you're just…sitting around and doing nothing but listening to yourself breathe (especially if you're new to meditating).
Switch Up Meditation Spots
No one said that you've got to be in the same spot, every time you meditate. If you like the sound of rain, on rainy days, sit in front of the biggest window in your house. If sometimes, you want to meditate in the nude (a lot of people do it), find a spot in your home where you feel the most comfortable and the least self-conscious. If you and your partner are trying to get into meditating more, on the days when you do it together, maybe have some morning sex first and then meditate in your bedroom after. By not always being in the same space, this also can make meditating feel a lot less…monotonous.
Count to 100
The site About Meditation has a great tip if you're someone who is always thinking about all of the other things that you could be doing as you attempt to meditate. It says that you should try counting to 100. By focusing solely on the numbers, it will keep your mind from wandering. It will also get you used to sitting still for longer than a couple of minutes because, you know that you at least need to get to 100, right? You can read more on why this is an effective tip by clicking here.
Write Your Own Mantra
In Hinduism, a mantra is simply a word or phrase that you sing or chant in order to get into a space of peace and calm. Based on the word (or phrase) that you choose, it can also be pretty empowering. So, why not come up with your own customized mantra?
Think about a goal that you want to achieve, a habit that you want to break, or an area where you want to feel better about yourself, and then find a word (or phrase) that suits that desire. Knowing that there is time you are planning to set aside, on a daily basis, to make you feel better about yourself—what could possibly be even remotely boring about that?
Get a Meditation Partner
No one said that, just because you are meditating, you have to do it alone. In fact, there are several benefits that can come with getting someone to meditate with you. They can hold you accountable to the days that you plan to meditate. Meditating with someone can teach you how to be comfortable being in the presence of others and being silent at the same time. Another perk that comes with meditating alongside another person is they can teach you meditation tricks and offer tips that you might have never heard before. And, if you make plans to get together before or after your meditation session, it can give you something to look forward to as well. You can get together to meditate in the same space or you can hit a friend up on something like Skype or Google Hangout and do it that way.
Journal About It Before and/or After
If you're someone who is very goal-oriented, you might struggle with meditation because you're like, "Okay, so I'm sitting here not doing anything. What is the friggin' point?" Since you may not automatically see the health benefits that come from this kind of practice, it might help for you to get a journal that is completely devoted to meditating. You can either jot down the things that are concerning you before doing it, write down the thoughts that immediately come to your mind after you meditate, or you can do a combination of both. It doesn't have to be a novella; a few sentences are fine. But if you get into the habit of writing down your thoughts, feelings, and experiences surrounding meditation, you may start to see some documented proof of why it was such a good thing for you to do. And—surprise, surprise—how it stopped being so "boring", after all.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
The Summer Events You Need To Elevate Your Social Network And Social Circle
When we say we’re outside this summer, we mean a little more than the clubs and happy hours.
This summer feels different from the others following the pandemic. It seems everyone has caught the bug for forming new connections outside the digital worlds we’ve built for ourselves. This is evident in the recent rise of social clubs, supper parties, and curated third places that cater to a variety of interests, backgrounds, and tastes.
No matter the city you’re in, countless events are being designed to help us all expand our social circles, make new friends, and create unforgettable memories. From coast to coast, there's no shortage of fun and engaging activities and whether you're into festivals, workshops, or social meetups, there's something happening near you that’s sure to pique your interest.
So, if you’ve been looking to find your chosen family, pick up a new hobby, or simply seize the social season, we’ve curated a list of the best events and engaging activities for you to ensure the rest of your summer is filled with laughter, learning, and a lot of new connections!
Sad Girls Club Summer Tour - Ongoing Events
Multiple Cites
The Best Day Ever Fest - August 10th & 11th
Portland, Oregon
SIP N’ SLAY Summer Fest - August 27
New York
Black Girls In Art Spaces - Ongoing Events
Multiple Cites
Everyday People - Ongoing Events
Multiple Cites
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Featured image by Willie B. Thomas/Getty Images