How much are you really worth?
Do you know how much you should get paid based off of our skill set, previous work experience, and education? What about how much you should get paid based off of where you are located? If you didn't know, your location matters--it actually matters a lot.
Often times, we as Millennials do not understand or truly know our worth. We hunt for jobs, and eagerly accept an offer, and take any wage that is given to us. Since we fail at knowing what we are financially worth, we let companies do it for us. I don't know about you, but no one knows my value and worth better than I do!
Even more, sometimes we make the mistake and say that we are "open" and our salary requirements are negotiable before the negotiation period even starts! We communicate to the hiring manager that we are "open" to any salary because of 3 reasons:
1.) We are scared that if we go above and beyond and name a really high wage, we will turn the interviewer off, and they will automatically kick us out of the picture.
2.) We are scared that if we give a number that is low and get hired, we will ruin our chances of getting the highest salary that is available.
3.) We don't have a clue on what we should make, so we just roll with the punches.
Countless times I have seen people make the mistake of telling the recruiter that they would rather wait until later in the interview process to discuss salary. Doing so can annoy the recruiter, because sometimes getting an idea of the applicant's salary expectations upfront decreases the likelihood of wasting your time and the recruiter's time. For instance, if you are applying to a job as an Accountant and you already know that $65,000 a year is your minimum, you should communicate that. You never know, the budgeted salary for that position may be capped off at $45,000, and if the recruiter knows that your definite minimum is $65,000, he or she can let you know, and you will be able to move on.
If you are interviewing for a job, you should have your salary requirements already decided. Even more, before you even apply to the job, you should try to look for information online to see what someone with that position makes on average. If you don't take the time out to do this, you will be lost and will hastily throw out a number when the interviewer asks, "So what are your salary requirements?"
Or you may be like my friend and give out inconsistent salary requirements when asked by different interviewers in separate interviews. My friend was so eager to get a new job, but didn't do his salary research, so he was caught off guard when asked how much he was looking to get paid. #fail
[Related: Pass The Opportunity Please: Does It Always Pay To Negotiate?"
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Money is something that we all love, but feel awkward about when discussing it in an interview. Nonetheless, it is important for you to get over this fear and understand what your market value is before you interview for another job. You know what type of education that you have, what your work experience is, and what kind of skills that you possess--now it's time to find out how much people in your industry make. There are many resources online that can easily give you this information with the click of a button.
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On websites like glassdoor.com, payscale.com, indeed.com/salary, and salary.com, you can find a variety of salary ranges for various positions. If you are applying for a federal government job, you can find salary data on opm.gov.
As I mentioned earlier, location is very important when determining your salary requirements because of the cost of living in different states. For example, if you make $45,000 a year as a teacher in Texas you may be comfortable, but if you make the same as a teacher in New York or California, then you may struggle to pay your bills and put food on the table (especially if you're supporting a family off of your salary).
So when you are asked what are your salary requirements are, what should you do? Here are 4 things that you should consider doing when talking money with a future employer.
1). Do your research.
Before the interview, look on sites like Glassdoor or Payscale and see how much someone in that position within that company typically makes. Even if you cannot find the specific average salary for your desired position at that company, just knowing how much someone in that position makes in your geographic area is important. Both sites will allow you search based on the company, job position, and location--giving you a number of options to help ensure that you are asking for the right compensation.
2). Figure out what's all in it for you
Most companies offer some sort of compensation package with medical and dental insurance, vacation and sick time, and a 401K contribution. In many new start-up companies, especially in the tech field, perks such as tuition reimbursement, free or catered lunches, gym membership reimbursement, a pet-friendly environment, public transportation discounts, and more are given. Even in the industry that I work in, free housing and discounted gym membership is a given, depending on your site's location and the position that you have.
When you are figuring out what salary you should demand, look and see what is included in the total compensation package. For me, communicating that I would take a smaller salary than I desired was fine because I knew that the position that I was applying for would include free rent (all bills included!).
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3). Give a broad salary range
I always recommend giving the recruiter a salary range instead of a specific number. However, on the same note, make sure your salary range is something that you are comfortable with. The lowest number in your salary range should be an amount that you will not only be comfortable with, but would still allow you to pay bills and save. The highest number should be what you would like to make and is the highest amount that you think you should be paid. However, when you are determining what your salary range will be, make sure that your number is realistic. If you are applying to be an Office Manager and this position in your area typically makes $35,000-$45,000, don't go in and demand a salary of $65,000-$75,000, especially if you don't even make close to that right now.
4). Be ready to negotiate
When you finally get the job offer and the hiring manager tells you what they can offer, negotiate if the amount isn't pleasing. Do not be scared to open your mouth and ask for what you want, but of course, do so in a polite, strategic, and professional manner. The company has offered you the job, so obviously they want you. If you want to negotiate your salary, you can start off by saying something like, "Thank you for your offer, I am really excited to join the team. My only reservation is that the compensation is lower than what I expected and for my income needs. I was really expecting a salary of ____. Is this possible?" If you negotiate and it works, congrats! More money in the bank for you! If you try to negotiate and it doesn't work out, then at least you can say that you asked and didn't just take anything without putting up a fight first.
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In all occasions, ask and it shall be given. A closed mouth doesn't get fed. Speak up or shut up--and all of those other cliche sayings.
The next time when you are job hunting, make sure you know your worth and your market value. Determine this first before a company determines this for you.
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If you have any tips on answering the salary question, or have an interesting testimony, let us know below!
Get more career tips and tricks by visiting our xo Business section!
Why can’t (more) singles just be single and be okay with that? Good Lord. Why does there need to be some sort of relational play-on-words to make it sound like we’re with someone — even if we’re not?
Now masturdating? Even though it’s not even close to being a “real” word, it’s something that also brought a laugh outta me — although it was then followed by a genuine smile. The laugh because I almost immediately caught the play-on-words. The smile was due to the intention behind it all.
If you’re not familiar with what masturdating is and you’re curious about why you should even care, take a few moments to at least skim through what it’s about and why I think participating, as a single person, is a pretty cool (and effective) concept.
@knotlukas Masturdate: a date w oneself
What’s Masturdating All About?
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Masturdating. Okay, so let the word marinate for just a moment. What does it sound like? Yeah…exactly. And since a huge part of masturbation centers around self-pleasure, it’s cool to explore how “self-dating” could produce similar (as far as pleasure is concerned in a broader sense) results. Because masturdating is all about spending quality time with yourself, pampering yourself, treating yourself— and yes, taking yourself out on dates.
Any of you who may think that masturdating is a consolation prize — and a pitiful one at that — for not being able to go out with another human being or get that dream $200 first date that social media was all in a tizzy about last year (bookmark that) — personally, I think that you’re the demographic who needs to try out masturdating first and the most. Why? Off top, I’ll share my three good reasons.
3 Reasons To Strongly Consider Masturdating
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1. It’s an intimate way to get to know yourself better. I’ve been working with couples for a pretty long time at this point and if there’s a pattern that I see arise, OFTEN, it’s that two people are oftentimes so busy trying to “find their person” that they didn’t even know who they were. As a direct result, they found themselves in a relationship with someone who only complemented the “kiddie pool version” of who they were.
That’s why it can be so beneficial to spend time getting to know yourself on the “deep end” of things: what makes you tick, what your passions are, what you want most out of life, what are your interests beyond obvious things — and masturdating can help you to discover all of this. Whether it’s traveling alone or taking out a weekend to drink some wine and journal, the more you get to know yourself, the clearer you’ll be about who complements you on a romantic and friendship level.
2. It will definitely help to boost your confidence levels. I guess since I’m an ambivert, I don’t really get why people freak out at the mere thought of going to a restaurant or movie alone. Personally, I think it requires a helluva lot more energy and gumption to wait around and plan stuff with other people (#Elmoshrug). However, whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert, there’s no way around the fact that the more comfortable you get with doing things alone, the more your confidence levels will increase — no, soar — because of it.
One article that I read on the topic said that doing things alone can make you more creative, improve your mental health, and help you to be totally okay with being alone (so that you’re not “needy” for other people’s attention). A psychotherapist from a New York Times article on the benefits of spending time alone said, “Getting better at identifying moments when we need solitude to recharge and reflect can help us better handle negative emotions and experiences, like stress and burnout.” And when you’re able to stare negativity in its face without flinching, how could that not make you bolder, more self-secure, and hopeful about your life?
3. It will teach you to value your time more effectively. In every facet of your world, you’re gonna operate from a healthier place if you’re operating from a “full cup” rather than an empty one. When it comes to this topic, think about it — if you’re constantly waiting on someone to call you to go out or wishing for a dream date with some guy, all you’re doing is wasting precious time that you could be spending taking a cooking class or hell, hiring a chef to make you dinner at your own home.
Indeed, waiting has two sides to it: when it’s in the form of patience, it is indeed a virtue, yet when it’s wrapped up in the notion that you’re not really living life unless you have an audience…it is totally working against you. Choose wisely.
10 Solo Date Ideas To Help You To “Master” Masturdating
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So, what if you’re someone who has either never considered actually masturdating before or you don’t really know what to do beyond dinner and the movies? Here are a few ideas to consider:
1. Attend a workshop or masterclass that you’re interested in. If there’s something that you’ve always wanted to learn, sign up for a workshop or masterclass. The cool thing about this option is there are probably some in your city, as well as some that you can find online (like here) that are convenient and affordable.
2. Binge-read at a local coffee shop. Aside from their coziness and oftentimes inviting scents, I once read that a lot of us gravitate to coffee shops because we can be around people without having to actually socialize with them. So, if you want to “hang out” while still being able to enjoy a bit of solitude, take a book that you’ve been trying to finish to a local coffee shop, order your favorite latte, and sit in a big-ass comfy chair. Usually, you can sit there for hours, and the staff will be just fine with it (another bonus).
3. Have a spa day in the next town. You can never go wrong with a spa day. And while going with a friend can be fun, sometimes there’s too much talking transpiring to be able to fully chill out and relax. So, go off of the grid, get a change of scenery, and hit up a spa in the next city (or town). There are lots of studies out here supporting that day trips or “daycations” can actually be really good for your long-term health and well-being.
4. See a community play. Some of the best solo dates that I’ve ever been on consisted of taking in some of the local arts in my city. What’s really cool about this particular option is, oftentimes, they are extremely inexpensive, if not totally free of charge (in exchange for making a donation or putting money into a tip jar).
5. Plan a trip. Whenever people say something along the lines of, “If you don’t expect anything, you won’t be disappointed,” I know that they low-key have some (additional) healing to do from past disappointments. There’s simply too much intel out here to support that anticipation (of good stuff) makes us more motivated and optimistic, keeps our dopamine levels up, and makes life more exciting overall.
Since traveling alone is more cost-effective, gives you the freedom to do whatever you want (when you want), and increases the possibility of meeting new people and having new experiences on your journey — why not devote a day this weekend to planning a solo trip? All the way around, it’s good for you.
6. Try your hand at your own “$200 date.” Uh-huh. Roll your eyes if you want to, but it’s real easy to talk left about how a man should be able to just drop $200 like it’s nothing…until you actually try to do it. So yes, while taking yourself out on this type of date could serve as a bit of a reality check, it can also “scratch the itch” of waiting on some dude to do it for you. It’s also way less emotionally draining because, at least when you’re taking your own self out, it’s guaranteed that you’ll enjoy the company…right?
7. DIY some pampering. When you get a chance, check out “5 Reasons You Should Unapologetically Pamper Yourself,” “Want To Love On Yourself? Try These 10 Things At Home.,” “I’ve Got Some Ways For You To Start Pampering Your Soul,” and “When's The Last Time You Actually Pampered Your Vagina?” The bottom line here is pampering is all about, not mere self-maintenance; it’s all about treating yourself to levels of EXTREME SELF-INDULGENCE. So, if nothing else tickles your fancy on this list, at least consider doing that, chile.
8. Feed your creativity. Something that I used to be really good at is art. That said, one of my goddaughters is insanely talented, so she has reminded me to tap back into it. Also, a big part of what got me into the writing world is poetry; I actually used to be a house poet at a local spot. Sometimes, my best quality time moments with myself have been revisiting these creative sides of me — and this is definitely easier to do (and enjoy) alone.
9. Try some stargazing. When’s the last time you took a blanket into your backyard, laid down on it, and just stared at the stars for hours on end? While some say that stargazing can teach you to be mindful, others say that being in that form of nature reduces stress, while others believe that looking up at the universe at night can increase your attention span. All solid reasons to give it a shot, if you ask me.
10. DO. ABSOLUTELY. NOTHING. Let me tell you something that nobody will ever be able to make me feel bad about: doing absolutely nothing. I’ve got data to back me up. Good Housekeeping shares that doing nothing can help you decide how you want to respond or react to certain things. I like howThe Guardian says that taking this approach helps you to regain control of what you give your attention to.
TIME magazine says that it can ultimately make you more productive.BBC offers up that it can help you tap into your ingenuity.Henry Ford Health says that it can make you kinder and a better problem-solver. So, if you want to invest in yourself, do nothing sometimes.
Closing Thoughts from the Lovely Javicia Leslie
While some of y'all may know Javicia Leslie from being the former Batwoman, I discovered her back in the day from the indie series Chef Julian (and yes, "Julian" was right to say that "Mo" looks like Tatyana Ali...the real ones know). Sometimes I'll hop on her IG to see what she's got going on and this story popped up within a few hours of me penning this...so, I took it as hella confirmation.
TREAT YO SELF. WAIT FOR NO ONE.
WAIT FOR NO ONE. TREAT YO SELF.
RINSE AND REPEAT.
_____
Sooo…what kind of masturdating plans do you have for this coming weekend? While going out with others has its perks, hanging out with yourself has a ton of ‘em too. Enjoy!
No…for real. ENJOY!
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