This Couple Fell In Love At First Sight. A Decade Later, They’re On A Forever Honeymoon.
How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
Anybody who's ever told you love at first sight was a myth was a damn lie and you can tell them Jasmine and Alex Sweet said it.
The couple initially met during their junior year of college and a decade and almost three years of marriage later, Jasmine and Alex are out here proving that Black love is alive and well in these streets and we love to see it. The duo, who make it their mission to honeymoon at least once a year, recently sat down with xoNecole and broke down the beginnings of their modern-day love story and explained that the secret to a successful long-term commitment is coming to the table as a whole ass person.
"Alex and I have always been pretty complete individuals. We didn't complete each other necessarily. We enhanced one another, and that's what made our situation unique," Jasmine shared. "We both worked really hard at who we were and appreciate each other for it. I think that's why we weren't afraid of the commitment. It was like, 'I got this because we got this!'"
"Alex and I have always been pretty complete individuals. We didn't complete each other necessarily. We enhanced one another, and that's what made our situation unique."
Despite spending months apart while chasing their dreams, the couple says that because they were focused on both their commitment to themselves and one another, they were able to pass every test with flying colors. "We were individually taking care of business to set ourselves up for each other. We weren't in a rush to get married. We were in a rush to prepare ourselves for life in general––job transitions, friends and family woes, but we were committed to each other. It was a soul tie that even we haven't been able to explain."
We talked more with Jasmine and Alex about falling in love at first sight, becoming the best version of themselves for one another, and how they've made the last two years feel like a never-ending honeymoon.
Here's what we learned:
How They Met
Jasmine: We met in college at the University of Memphis. I was pledging Alpha Kappa Alpha and he was pledging Alpha Phi Alpha in 2009. They crossed before my line did, and I saw him at a university talent show. I was hosting the event when I saw him in the crowd. I'd been pretty active on campus in different leadership roles and had never seen him before.
Later, I found out he ran track! Athletes don't get out much! As he and his line brothers were strolling around the talent show, I told my line sisters, "I want the one no one knows!" (laughs) I'd been in college for three years and was convinced my husband was nowhere to be found until I saw Alex! Little did I know, he was from Memphis and well-known! But that didn't change my mind about him!
Alex: We met in college, officially at a restaurant near the campus of the U of M. The story of how we exchanged information, as well as our first dance, is a legendary story.
First Impressions
Jasmine: I loved him from the start! Alex is the epitome of his last name––SWEET! I honestly don't know how I got so lucky. He was suave and sweet at the same time and that intrigued me. Well-spoken! Gentle! Honest! Funny! Sooooo loving.
Alex: When I first saw her, I instantly knew she was the flyest lady I have ever seen. I just wanted to be in her presence at all times, and still do.
Instant Attraction
Jasmine: No, It was love at first sight! Ha! Something in my soul felt it.
Alex: Instant. From that day, 10 years ago, the only thing I wanted to do was to be with her. I started seeing her in my dreams for the future. I knew my life was going to change forever, she was going to be in it. Crazy when I think about it, but that's how falling in love felt to me.
"From that day, 10 years ago, the only thing I wanted to do was to be with her. I started seeing her in my dreams for the future. I knew my life was going to change forever, she was going to be in it. Crazy when I think about it, but that's how falling in love felt to me."
First Date
Jasmine: My memory fails me [about our first date]. When it comes to us because we lived so much life together and grown up together. Our first phone conversation was on Christmas Eve. He'd had my phone number for two weeks, and hadn't called. I was over him! Then, he called while he was building his little brother's toys for Christmas. I melted over the phone.
We talked all night until the sun came up. I was home in Jackson for Christmas break, but when I got back to the University of Memphis campus, I invited him over. He came and there we were talking all night again. He was it for me.
Making It Official
Jasmine: It didn't take us very long to make things official. I remember the day he asked me to be his girlfriend. It was February 5, 2010. He actually gave a formal speech about how he didn't want to play any games. As cliche as it sounds, he was dead serious. I was shocked that he named everything that he loved about me and how he wanted to grow with me. He was 19 and I was 20. How could this be? Where had he been the first three years of college? I often felt like he was too good to be true, but he was real and it felt so good. Alex is a calm-spirited individual who is so loyal, and if he gives you his word, he means it.
"It didn't take us very long to make things official. I remember the day he asked me to be his girlfriend. It was February 5, 2010. He actually gave a formal speech about how he didn't want to play any games. As cliche as it sounds, he was dead serious. I was shocked that he named everything that he loved about me and how he wanted to grow with me. He was 19 and I was 20."
Alex: This a true black college love story. Two individuals in their respected organizations meet at a college party and share a moment on the dance floor together. Nothing is said, he leaves only to find her later. I was the initiator. I wanted her to know from that point on, it's Alex and Jasmine. We dated. We still date. We went to the parties together in college holding hands. We still go out holding hands into the lounge, movies, or just through the mall.
The One
Jasmine: I hate being away from Alex. 10 years later and I die a little inside at the thought of him not being here. I lost my dad a few years ago. He and my mom were married for 42 years. I sometimes just stare at Alex and think about what our long-term lives look like. Then, I say a little prayer and just surrender thoughts of forever with him. That's love.
Alex: Once a person changes the way you look on the world and life, and realizing in every moment you want that person in the picture, you know [they are the one]––at least I did.
"I lost my dad a few years ago. He and my mom were married for 42 years. I sometimes just stare at Alex and think about what our long-term lives look like. Then, I say a little prayer and just surrender thoughts of forever with him. That's love."
The Sweetest Thing
Jasmine: I love that Alex has a vibrant spirit. There isn't a dull day in my house. I come home to music thumping through the house every day. He's laughing and joyful.
Alex: Jasmine has an energy that fills the room. She makes me feel like the most important person in the world. I also love how she allows me to make her feel like the Queen she is. A perfect balance.
Love Lessons
Jasmine: Love is the best adventure of our lifetime and you have to love fearlessly. He is my person and I'll go to war for him at all costs.
Alex: This team we have [is] the best team I could ask for in this game of life. True love will have you doing whatever it takes to live the best life with each other.
Overcoming Challenges
Jasmine: We've encountered a particular issue that I won't speak of that challenged our love, but it was such a strong one that it challenged us in a way that we loved even harder. We welcome challenges because we learned how to let the Devil know who's in charge. Our marriage counselors, Rob and Robin have taught us techniques to recognize when we're letting external forces control the narrative. Now, we ward them out immediately. Don't come for our house.
"We welcome challenges because we learned how to let the Devil know who's in charge. Our marriage counselors, Rob and Robin have taught us techniques to recognize when we're letting external forces control the narrative. Now, we ward them out immediately. Don't come for our house."
Alex: Patience and understanding. We have to remind ourselves, we are only human. And at the end of the day, we have to understand we may think differently of a lot of things, we share the same goal of loving each other to the best of our ability.
For more Jasmine and Alex, follow them on Instagram!
Featured image by @jasminesweet.
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images