Clean beauty products have been trending for a minute. Every time I walk into Target or Ulta, I spend hours in all the beauty aisles. Makeup. Skin. Hair. All of it. If the packaging screams "try me", I want to try it. But I never really cared to try any clean beauty brands until recently. I love clean beauty products for skincare, but I have yet to try any for haircare. It's no secret that when it comes to curly hair, finding the right products is a hit or a miss. How many times have you bought a curl product that doesn't agree with your curl type and end up having to return the item? I have been guilty of this so many times. Let me just say, knowing your curl type is the number one curl rule. If you don't know your curl type, take a curl type quiz.
I also love that we have so much variety when it comes to textured hair, but sometimes it can be overwhelming. And for me, I'm always skeptical of trying new shit. I like to stick to what works until the brand decides to switch up the ingredients. I recently came across Function of Beauty's haircare line at Target. For those of you that don't know, Function of Beauty is an international clean beauty brand offered in 45 countries and uses over 60 natural ingredients to create customized formulas for hair, skin, and body goals. Yes y'all, Function of Beauty offers customized skin and body products too. But we will save that review for another day.
Writer Camille Ali/xoNecole
As I stopped in front of Target's Function of Beauty display, the pink packaging that read "curly" called to me. Not only is the product affordable, but you can also customize each shampoo and conditioner based on your hair goals and needs. Sis was sold. I picked up a bottle of the shampoo and conditioner along with three booster shots. You can choose from 10 different booster shots, but I chose color protection, anti-frizz, and soothe the scalp. The shampoo and conditioner were $10 each. Each booster shot was $2.99. I left Target spending a total of $50 bucks. But I mean, who doesn't leave Target spending more than they had planned to? Guilty.
I Tried Function Of Beauty On 3B Hair, This Is My Review
Writer Camille Ali/xoNecole
Here is how my wash day went using my customized Function of Beauty's Curly Shampoo and Conditioner.
The Function of Beauty Curly Hair Shampoo
Writer Camille Ali/xoNecole
Most shampoos tend to dry out my hair after one wash, so I was interested to see how my hair would react to this shampoo. I never feel like my scalp or my hair gets clean when using "no-poo" shampoos. I need some soap suds. First of all, the smell is divine. It's a light sweet smell. Actually, it's their signature scent – peach. As I massaged the shampoo into my scalp, my hair felt super soft. The shampoo created a lather that was just right – not too heavy and not too light. I only needed to rinse my hair out once. After rinsing out the product, my scalp and my curls were clean. And nothing makes me feel better than a clean scalp.
The Function of Beauty Curly Hair Conditioner
Writer Camille Ali/xoNecole
Next, I applied the conditioner to the ends of my hair. I like my conditioners to be thick, the more slip the better. It helps me detangle my hair. I'm not a fan of products that can't help detangle my hair. It's my biggest challenge and the main feature I look for when trying a new conditioner. As I worked the product through my curls, it gave me just enough "slip" to finger-comb my hair. Usually, I have to work the conditioner in for a few minutes before I begin detangling. But the product agreed with my hair so well that detangling was easy!
I loved how the conditioner coated and softened my curls. After rinsing the conditioner out, my hair still felt soft. Some conditioners leave your hair feeling like rope after rinsing. Dry and brittle.
The Results
Writer Camille Ali/xoNecole
Most of us curly girls hate wash day, but I love wash day. I am telling you – there is something about a clean scalp and detangled curls that just makes me feel good. Especially, when you find products that agree with your hair. And for me, Function of Beauty did that y'all. My curls were soft, hydrated, shiny, and ready to be styled. Styling products are not offered through the Function of Beauty x Target partnership. BUT they do have a customizable leave-in-conditioner I am dying to try in their regular collection. The regular collection can be purchased online through their website.
It's hard to find curl products that work for your curl type. And when you do find a product that agrees with your hair, it's usually a few brands to choose from. Function of Beauty is one of those brands. Affordable, vegan, good for your hair, and good for the environment. I would continue to use their product line as part of my wash day routine. I have enjoyed my wash day experience so much, that I am ready to order my own customized Function of Beauty curl collection (color, scent, and ingredients) personalized with my name on it! I'll call it Function of Cam.
I'm ready to meet my #hairgoals, are you?
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Featured image by Function of Beauty
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It’s what I said next that tripped her right on out, though: “I guess that means that you hate the missionary position too because, I mean, lying on your back and opening up your legs in order for a man to enter inside of you? Not sure it gets much more vulnerable than that.” Her response? “Well damn. Touché.”
Ain’t it though? And here’s the thing, if you’ve ever wondered what the origin story of the classic missionary position is, according to some long-standing lore, it’s not too far off from what I said. That’s why, if you keep reading, I’ll attempt to fully explain what I mean when I say that, along with why, no matter what you think about where the name of the position actually came from, the missionary continues to be a supreme sexual go-to…for oh so many super valid different reasons.
If the Position Sounds Like What You Think, There’s a Reason for That
GiphyBack when I toured with an organization that got people out of porn and sex addiction, they put out a documentary about them called Missionary Position. Because it was a Christian-based group, it was definitely meant to be a pun.
I say this because, according to urban legend, the missionary position came from Christian missionaries who believed that getting into that position was the “proper” way to have sex. Is there Scripture to support this? No.
At the same time, though, because there are Scriptures that speak to sex being designed for marriage (I Corinthians 6) and husbands needing to lead their wives as their wife submits to her husband (Colossians 3:18, Ephesians 5:22, Titus 2:5) — many conservative biblical thinkers believe that the position complements, if not straight-up amplifies, all of this.
Personally, while none of what I just shared sounds totally outlandish, I must admit that I definitely would like to see a chapter and verse that confirms any of this (as far as the missionary position goes) to be true. I tend to check out Scripture a lot and…I haven’t seen it yet. Just sayin’.
Then There’s Another Theory…
GiphyOkay, but what about the people who don’t have Christian and/or conservative sexual views? Many of them also partake of the good ole’ fashioned missionary position, so…where do they think that the term comes from? Good question. From what I’ve read and researched, outside of a Scriptural realm, many consider missionary to be a type of “vanilla sex.” I evenread one article that said it’s for couples who are either so in love that they want to look at each other in the eyes all of the time (yeah, bookmark that) or are too lazy to try anything else (hmm…).
On a more scientific tip, theKinsey Institute has its own perspective. Although Alfred (Kinsey) did acknowledge that the tale of Indigenous people learning about the missionary position came from actual missionaries, once the sexual revolution began to pick up steam, many found the story to be ludicrous at best. Not only that but another semi-popular spin is that the Indigenous people of a certain time were not learning about sex from white missionaries via the missionary position; by using the term, they were actually mocking them for thinking that was the best way to have sex.
Some even "despise[d] the European position and consider[ed] it unpractical and improper." Some natives also believed that anyone who felt like sex should be that way, actually didn’t know how to have “effective intercourse.”
Listen, I’ll say this: whether you believe that the missionary position actually came from missionaries or that the term was an inside joke amongst the individuals who the missionaries called themselves trying to minister to — I think that if there are two things that we all can agree on, it’s that 1) the missionary position is definitely an all-time classic and 2) it’s not going anywhere any time soon.
And honestly, since one definition of a missionary is simply “someone who is on a mission”…no matter which theory floats your boat, what possibly could be wrong with that? Besides, I’ve got some pretty solid reasons for why the missionary position deserves its flowers…regardless.
5 Solid Reasons Why the Missionary Position Reigns Supreme. STILL.
GiphyAgain, whether you like the name or not — shoot, whether it’s your immediate go-to position or not, take a moment to read why you definitely shouldn’t rule the missionary position out or simply chalk it up to some…vanilla sex (geeze).
1. Yes, eye contact is important. Positions that don’t call for eye contact have their benefits (doggy style comes to mind). However, don’t sleep on the fact that eye contact helps you to deeply connect with your partner, puts you in a better mood, increases arousal, and helps you to trust your partner more. If you take all of this into account, if you want to experience a deeply passionate sexual experience, why wouldn’t you choose a sexual position that has eye contact involved?
2. You can get maximum skin contact. When two people are fully naked and engaged in sexual activity, yes, they are going to experience plenty of skin-to-skin contact. That said, when someone is literally lying on top of someone else, it doesn’t physically get much closer than that —and the more that happens, the safer and less stressed you feel. Plus, that makes it easier for your oxytocin levels to surge which causes you to bond with your partner all the more.
3. It hits all spots. This point, I mean quite literally (andy’all can argue with science if you disagree). When it comes to making it easier to stimulate a woman’s clitoris and hit her G-spot which increases her chances of climaxing, the missionary position earns first place (especially if you have a pillow underneath your butt). Although the positioning itself plays a huge role, I’d venture to say that the other stuff that we already touched on helps with this too. Anyway, how cana position that gives more orgasms than other ones be considered “boring”? How indeed, y’all?
4. The variations are virtually endless. I think something that should go on record — not just when it comes to the missionary position but all sexual ones — is there are tweaks and “upgrades” that you can give to them all. For instance, shout out to Men’s Health for their article, “18 Missionary Sex Positions That Put a Fun Spin on the Classic Move.” It contains illustrations ‘n all of some real winners. Take a look. Prove me wrong.
5. C’mon, it’s comfortable. Uh-huh. Whoever the hater was who said that only lazy people engage in missionary sex, I’m going to swap out “lazy” for comfortable. When you’re tired or parts of your body are sore or not as flexible as you would like, the missionary position can definitely get you what you need without you having to stress yourself out in the process. To me, that doesn’t seem lazy so much as smart.
___
Personally, I found the potential origin stories of the missionary position to be interesting. At the same time, it didn’t really influence me one way or another. At the end of the day, I’m always gonna be a fan of it. I mean, after all I just said, it would be silly (and counterproductive) not to be.
So-called vanilla sex or not, chile.
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Featured image by Giphy