Ashanti has been experiencing a beautiful resurgence in her career over the last few years. The Grammy award-winning artist became a household name after dropping her debut self-titled album in 2002 and from there the singer/songwriter has given us hits after hits. Now at 41 years of age, the “Foolish” artist has been reclaiming the spotlight with viral moments such as her thirst-trapping photos on social media and performing during the Verzuz battle between Ja Rule and Fat Joe which resulted in an awkward exchange with her ex Nelly. But probably one of her most monumental occasions is receiving a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in April.
Another major moment for the R&B star was finally receiving recognition for her writing and singing on two of Jennifer Lopez’s biggest tracks “I’m Real” and “Ain’t It Funny.” Founding her own independent record label, Written Ent., Ashanti is a boss and continues to thrive in the ever-changing music industry by remaining the same person that everyone fell in love with in 2002. The Guinness World Record holder recently coveredHelloBeautiful where she talked about her illustrious 20-year career.
JD Barnes for HelloBeautiful
Ashanti on Finally Being Recognized For Her Background Vocals On Jennifer Lopez’s Records:
“It always feels good to get recognition. I was always really proud that I had the opportunity to do what I did. And have people recognize it and look at how I handled the situation. It’s always good to get love from the people, regardless of whatever the situation is.”
Ashanti on Protecting Her Energy:
"I think it's really important. This industry is really corrupt. It's really cutthroat. There could be some dark moments. So I think it's really important to protect because that can prove who you are."
Ashanti on Keeping Her Personal Life Private:
“I just feel like it’s really important to keep certain things private, to yourself for yourself. As an artist, we give so much to the public and so much to the world, there have to be some things that are just for you. I just find that it’s better that way to take a lot of people out of your business because sometimes people want to infiltrate for the wrong reasons.”
JD Barnes for HelloBeautiful
Ashanti on Her Natural Body:
"I've always been a person to take care of myself inside and out. I think it's important that we show it's okay to not be perfect and to still embrace being natural. And maybe you don't have the biggest booty or the biggest boobs, but it's yours. And it's natural. And when you are natural, you're proud because you, you work for it. You work out, you eat right, you diet, or not even diet, you try to be healthy."
"When I moved to Atlanta, I was considered super skinny. I'm sure every woman has gone through being different or looking different or being compared. For me, I've always been happy and proud."
Ashanti on Working with Larenz Tate in the “Rain On Me” Video:
"I'd never done anything like that before. But he's so cool. We went out on maybe two dates. We weren't messing around or anything but just warmed up to each other before shooting. That's my bro. Obviously, I had been a fan already. He's very humble. And he just made me super comfortable. We were laughing a lot. I was actually chewing gum in the window."
Read the full cover story on HelloBeautiful here.
Featured image by Rodin Eckenroth/Getty Images
Having a community of people who I can share memories with, lean on in times of need, and inspire each other is something I always valued. I took a moment to truly center in on what I desired from the new friends I would make. Then I realized it all would have to start with me. I had to be centered and confident in who I was to attract who I desired to be aligned with. As someone who moved to a new city and established quality friendships, I gathered these six tips that helped me feel grounded and create community in hopes that it will help you, too.
6 tips to start building community and making new friends in a new city:
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Be true to yourself
Do you know who you are? If someone asked you to describe yourself in three words, what words would you use? In order to develop deep friendships, you must be a friend to yourself first. Know what refuels you and what zaps your energy. Self-study your habits and why you do the things you do. All this will be important to keep in mind when looking to create bonds with others. Every day there’s all kinds of people telling you who you should be, how you should act, or what you should wear. At the end of the day, the only opinion about yourself that truly matters is your own. Spend some alone time with yourself indoors or out at an event you like to truly discover who you are in this season of your life.
Pray about it
Before you step out into the world and cross paths with all kinds of people, it’s important to pray about building your community. God outlines what true friendship looks like in numerous Bible verses such as "Iron sharpens iron." - Proverbs 27:17 and “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.” - Ecclesiastes 4:9-12. If you desire friendships that last, pray about what you seek in friendship. I remember praying for mentally stable, happy, and whole women who moved through life with abundance mindsets. Take a moment to journal about the community you want to build and then pray on it.
Go to fun events to meet people who share your interests
Most metropolitan cities like Washington, D.C., New York City, and Atlanta are known to have strong young professional communities and events where you can connect with others. I highly encourage you to attend events in or near your community to see what the city is like and meet people. It’s likely that the people at the event have the same interests as you, which is a great way to start a conversation. You can start by searching for events on Eventbrite or following Instagram pages that highlight events happening in your city.
Carlos Barquero/ Getty Images
Accept that you won’t be compatible with everyone you meet
While living in your new city, it’s likely you’ll meet a variety of people. Please know that everyone you meet will not bud into lasting friendships, and that’s okay! You are uniquely created and not made for everyone. Then you’ll meet people who are good for only surface-level connections, and then you’ll have your girls who you can get deep with. I think sometimes people can look down on surface-level friendships, but not everyone needs to fully know you. That’s a privilege to have and to accept within yourself. Continue to check in with yourself and be real about who you crave to spend more time with and who is nice to see for a monthly or quarterly catch-up.
Join Facebook groups & GroupMe chats
If you haven’t used Facebook in a couple of years, it’s time to dust your profile off. Facebook Groups is a great place to join online communities for people who just moved to a new city like you. Typically, you have to agree to the group’s guidelines, and then you can join. For example, you can search for groups in the Facebook app by using keywords like women, Black girl, or [the name of your city] foodies. With the GroupMe app, you’ll have to be invited to join an already existing group. While you’re out and about networking, don’t hesitate to ask if they’re in any online groups/communities they recommend you join too.
Be friendly to folks in your neighborhood
When I first moved to my new apartment, I spent the first week walking around the complex and working in the community spaces to get a better feel of it. I was able to meet people in my neighborhood, enjoy small talk, and learn more about what the community has to offer. Step outside of your comfort zone and work in your apartment’s community space or a local coffee shop to connect with others.
Overall, you may feel alone in your new city, but I guarantee you’re not. There are other people experiencing living in a new city too, and all you need to do is find each other. I hope these tips help ease the nervous feelings you have about building a new community and inspire you to make a new friend today!
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