If it's one thing I'm sure of, it's the accuracy of how well SZA was able to capture almost every single phase, worry, and emotion that comes with being in your twenties on her latest album Ctrl.
You know what I'm talking about.
You're stuck in that phase where grocery shopping starts to feel less like a chore and more like fun.
You're in that phase where half of your old high school and college-mates are getting married and have children and the other half have charges pending.
You're in that phase where a job with guaranteed 40 hours a week and a full benefits package sounds like heaven but then again so does drinks and queso with your friends every weekend.
You feel like there's more that you should be doing, that you should be moving forward and yet you don't really know what direction that is.
I get it, I really do but it doesn't have to be this way.
Here are eight things you can do to help you master tf out of your uncertain twenties:
Engage the Power of Community
You are never in things alone, no matter how you may feel and it's better to learn that now. Spend time with and find a tribe of women that will encourage you, convict you when needed, and be that shoulder to cry on when you do have your down moments. There's strength in numbers, sis.
Get to Know Yourself
With all of the beautifully curated lives on social media and the plethora of gurus on television, it can be hard to decipher your wants, needs, and interests from the masses. Get clear on who you are. Not who you "post to be." Figure out what makes you happy, your affirmations, how certain things make you feel, and what's important to you. Dead the noise and get reacquainted with you.
Check Impostor Syndrome at the Door
Listen here sis: YOU ARE AN ACHIEVER.
Stop downplaying your accomplishments and everything you've got you've gotten through hard work and good work. Feeling like a fraud is fake news, okay? This is only the beginning. You're more than able and you belong in every room you find yourself in so walk like it.
Define Your Version of Success
For some people, success is three houses, five luxury cars, a rich spouse, and 2.5 children. For you, it might be getting through an entire workweek without taking a nap, not postponing wash day for two weeks, and cooking yourself dinner five days out of the week instead of going out. Figure out what success looks like for you and make it happen as often as you can.
Understand the Come-Up Doesn't Happen Overnight
Don't let the 'gram fool you. All we see is the highlight reel when it comes to our favorite influencers and celebs. Most of them didn't achieve their level or acclaim and significance right out the gate and you shouldn't expect to either. Use your 20somethings to put in that work that can set you up for a beautiful glow up in the future. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither was Oprah's bank account. Do the work.
Practice and Establish a Self-Care Routine
After you get done grinding, take some time to enjoy you. Center yourself in the morning by incorporating some prayer and exercise. Take a break midday and plug into your favorite music for a quick escape. Go watch your favorite movies and buy all your favorite snacks. At the end of the week, after all is said and done, go get your nails done and have drinks with your friends. Treat yo' self.
Remember You Don't Have to Have It All Together
With every phase of life that you find yourself in, you must remember that you've never experienced it before and neither have other people. You've never been in your 20somethings, your parents have never been in their 50somethings. Everyone is literally learning as they go and that's the beautiful thing about growing up. You never stop learning and the minute you try to rid yourself of that fact, you put yourself in an unfair position.
Allow yourself to get it wrong sometimes and know that it's okay. Allow yourself to not know how or what the next right move is and choose to not feel inadequate. Take solace in the fact that we all still honestly have some growing to do.
Good luck on them 20somethings!
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“There’s a whole other facet to the show that is a lot about human transformation and helping people through tough times,” Tyka shared. “We had a four-time cancer survivor, people in recovery, and folks going through family issues. So, there’s a lot of tears and heart behind the homes.”
From PA to Powerhouse
Tyka didn’t come from a design school background—instead, she got her start as a production assistant on a home makeover show, learning everything on the job. That hands-on experience, along with her work on Queer Eye, helped her hone her collaborative skills and appreciate the emotional impact of design.
“I didn’t really realize it before, but when you see someone come into their newly transformed home for the first time and just fall to their knees in tears, you realize how deep it goes.”
TikTok to TV
Her journey to hosting her own show started where many modern stories do—on social media.
“I started posting interior design content on TikTok three years ago, which is actually what led to me getting my own show. TikTok totally changed my life,” she said.
Her comment section quickly became a hub of people who wanted beautiful homes but had no clue where to start. That realization helped her shape the mission behind Design My Space—empowering everyday people to create spaces that truly reflect who they are.
Big Impact, Small Budget
If you think you need a big budget to get that “Pinterest-worthy” home, think again. Tyka’s design philosophy is all about making the most of what you have. Her top tips?
“The biggest tool in our arsenal is paint. It’s probably the least expensive with the biggest impact. I also always tell everybody to hang curtains all the way to the ceiling and make sure they touch the floor—it instantly makes your space look more expensive and glamorous.”
She also recommends being strategic about where you splurge: save on rugs, but don’t be afraid to invest in art and lighting.
“Art is something you can have with you forever. And lighting is the most important element to the space for me.”
“The biggest tool in our arsenal is paint. It’s probably the least expensive with the biggest impact. I also always tell everybody to hang curtains all the way to the ceiling and make sure they touch the floor—it instantly makes your space look more expensive and glamorous.”
Designing with Identity
At the heart of Tyka’s work is the idea that your space should feel like you—not just a recreation of a TikTok trend.
“I see so many homes that lack personality and individuality. If we can bring your heritage into it—your ancestry, your favorite movie, a place you’ve traveled to—that’s what makes a space actually cool and different.”
That intentionality is especially important as a Black woman leading in a space that has often lacked diverse representation.
“I’ve always loved interior design since I was a kid and didn’t see many people at all that looked like me in the space. So it’s special to be in this position and inspire others. I think we’ve always been tastemakers in beauty, fashion, and design—it’s nice to finally get that recognition.”
The Beyoncé Dream
When asked what celebrity home she’d love to design, her answer was instant.
“Beyoncé. Beyoncé. Beyoncé is the only answer," she exclaimed. "I’d love to do her creative space—where she writes music or records. Somewhere that feeds her energy.”
The Emotional Blueprint
Design isn’t just about what you see—it’s also about how you feel. Tyka urges people to decorate with emotion in mind.
“Ask yourself, how do you want to feel at home? Joyful? Relaxed? Energized? For me, I want to feel peaceful, so I use a lot of closed storage to keep things clutter-free. That helps ease my mind and anxiety.”
As for creative blocks? They’re not even on her mood board.
“I’ve never experienced a creative block. Every project is new, and every person is different. That inspires me to keep pushing the boundaries.”
Design My Space Tyka Pryde is now streaming onBET Her andBET.com. If you’re ready to rethink your space—and your sense of self—Tyka Pryde is the name to know.
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