I've always found it strange that my life's most important lessons came from people I would never meet.
We live in an age where vanity equates to dollars, and helping someone is not nearly as important as video recording it for an audience, so it's not hard to imagine why I find these occurrences strange. But to me, it's odd that the strangers who have helped me had done so in the spirit of Jesus Christ - a man they would also never meet.
When someone does something kind for me, or gives me an encouraging word, I can't help but to question how someone living in an age of egotism could find the time to care about me, someone who doesn't even know them? Why am I so special?
I don't think I'll ever have the answers I am looking for in these questions. In the end, I can't help but to be honored to have strangers walk among us in God's spirit, and I feel grateful for their lessons.
One of those strangers was Afeni Shakur, the mother of legendary rapper Tupac Shakur. I started thinking about Afeni's amazing life lessons on womanhood when I discovered that she died on May 3. She was 69 years old.
I've never met Afeni Shakur, and I probably wouldn't have recognized who she was if I saw her on the street while she was alive. But her biography, Afeni Shakur: Evolution of a Revolutionary, changed me.
Before I read Afeni's book, all I knew was that I was suffering from depression. By the time I put the book down, I felt like I had been slapped "woke." Everything that I needed to understand about what it meant to be a black woman going through the throws of life was available for me to read, and it helped me want to live a little longer.
Thanks to Afeni, I better understood the gift of life. Not many people have the opportunity to boast this spiritually liberating act, especially while they're alive. But Afeni did, and we have God to thank for her.
Thanks to her book, I don't feel like her spirit has completely left this Earth. Her soul is invincible, and she bared it all in a book that serves as a blueprint on how to be when you're a black woman, and your pain doesn't seem to want to go away.
This is what I learned about womanhood from Akeni Shakur:
1. ANGER WON'T DO ANYTHING FOR YOU BUT HOLD YOU BACK
In her biography, she talked a lot about how angry she was with her mother, who was physically abused by her father. Afeni thought her mother was weak for allowing her father to beat on her. So Afeni turned into a tough girl. She would beat up on other kids, because she thought that she had to be that way in order to feel protected.
Eventually she discovered that the only thing anger did for her was kill her slowly. As she grew into adulthood, she said that she would often confuse anger for strength, and that drove people away from her. At least that's what Tupac would tell her. She said,
“...All that hating hurts. As a girl child, I just hurt. Everything around me seemed hurtful. And, like I said, we had no protection. I never felt safe. Now, I see that I got a lot from my mother. I have learned to appreciate her strengths, her quiet dignity. For most of my life I have been angry. I thought my mama was weak and my daddy was a dog. That anger fed me for many years.”
2. REACTING OFF OF EMOTION DOES NOT HELP THE FIGHT FOR EQUALITY
It’s hard not to react emotionally when you hear about cases like Michael Brown’s, Trayvon Martin’s, or Eric Garner’s. Afeni even struggled with this, as she was once seen comforting Trayvon Martin's mom at a retreat back in 2014.
The one thing she learned as an activist for the Black Panther Party was that the party had lost the fight for equality, because there were too many emotional reactions. In her opinion, emotional reaction is what caused young BPP activists to attract the wrong attention to their cause, which led to the party's demise.
Afeni said that God would not allow your community a chance to have peace and harmony if your cause didn't reflect the same values. She said:
“You have to have a moral imperative to win...You can’t do that in this world and expect that God is going to allow peace, harmony, and serenity to stay around you. We didn’t understand that. We drew violence to ourselves. We drew bitterness to ourselves. ”
3. FIND A PARTNER WHO IS ON YOUR LEVEL
Afeni joined the BPP to make a difference, but from what she saw, not every woman joined the party for the same reasons. The truth is that some women joined the BPP to meet men.
As a result of her determination and focus, she was shunned by other women in the group, as well as some guys, who spread rumors about her being lesbian or "freaky." But Afeni did not care about the rumors. She wanted to stop the despair she saw in her community, and as a woman, the best way for her to do that was to stick close to a black man of power who could execute those changes.
That's when she met her first husband, Lumumba Abdul Shakur - a section leader for New York City's BPP. According to Afeni, she and Lumumba became partners in their relationship, where they both shared equal power.
To get a better idea of what she was talking about, her biographer, actress Jasmine Guy, asked Afeni if she viewed Lumumba the way Hillary Clinton viewed her husband - as a partner who could advance her career. Afeni replied:
“The key word being partner. I was his partner. We made agreements. We had discussions. Lumumba loved my fire and my candor. He loved debating with me.”
4. YOUR LIFE EXPERIENCES AREN'T ALWAYS FOR YOUR BENEFIT
Back in 1969, Afeni, Lumumba, and 19 other BPP members were arrested in connection with an alleged plot to bomb several department stores and a subway police station in Manhattan. The people on trial were known across the media as the Panther 21.
In her biography, Afeni said that if she was convicted, she would have been sent to jail for more than 300 years. That scared her to death, especially when she discovered that she was pregnant with Tupac during the trial.
Instead of succumbing to her fears, she pulled out all stops to make sure that she didn't find herself having her child behind bars. Afeni said that the experience of defending herself in court ultimately pushed her to make such a great lasting impression, that she was acquitted of all charges in 1971. She described:
“I was young. I was arrogant. And I was brilliant in court. I wouldn’t have been able to be brilliant in court. I wouldn’t have been able to be brilliant if I thought I was going to get out of jail. It was because I thought this was the last time I could speak. The last time before they locked me up forever. I had to make a record there for later, because I would never be able to speak again. And I didn’t know anything about being locked up either. I thought that when I went away to prison I would just have no contact with nobody. So, this was my last chance, and I had to make the best of it. I just thought I was writing my own obituary….”
What she also learned during that experience is that sometimes a rough life situation is God's way of prepping you to help someone else. Coincidentally, Afeni said that it was easy for her to sense that Tupac felt that he would only be on Earth for a little while. She felt the exact same way when she thought she was going to jail during her Panther 21 trial.
5. NEVER JUDGE SOMETHING FOR ITS OUTWARD APPEARANCE
Tupac and his sister as kids. Tumblr.
Most people teach their kids the meaning of value by teaching them to "never judge a book by its cover." But Afeni is not an ordinary woman, and how she taught her kids this lesson was pretty savage.
Sekyiwa, Tupac’s little sister, was a very sweet girl who seemed sort of meek as a child. She was the complete opposite of Afeni.
Sekyiwa once recalled a story where Tupac was getting picked on by other kids because he didn't have flashy clothing. He told his mom what he was going through, and she told him that his strength lied in the fact that he understood the meaning of value. Afeni told Tupac that while his little sister would pick up three shiny pennies from the ground because they were shiny, Tupac would be the kid who would pick up a crumpled hundred-dollar bill next to the shiny pennies.
The good news was that Tupac understood what his mom was saying, and probably felt less awful about being bullied. The bad news was the Sekyiwa was in the other room listening to her mother insult her. Ouch!
Thankfully, no love was lost as a result of the lesson, and Sekyiwa walked away learning something new, too.
6. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE ONLY HURTING YOURSELF WHEN YOU'RE IN PAIN, THINK AGAIN
When Afeni went to rehab for drugs, she had to face what she had done to her children emotionally as a result of her drug use, and her prideful behavior. Her day of reckoning came when she realized that she was hurting the people who loved her more than she was hurting herself.
She described a letter that Tupac wrote her while in rehab, where he said that he could not allow himself to get too excited about her recovery, because he didn't know if what she was going through was real. She told Jasmine about the letter,
“...I remember how it affected me. I went to my sponsor with the letter because I was so messed up over it. That’s when she taught me humility. I was so devastated, and she helped me. She helped me because she told me that the only reason that I was devastated was because my pride was hurt. This is what she would do. She made me see when it was my pride getting in the way of doing the right thing. It was very hard, but she did that for me.”
What came from Tupac's hurt was one of the most prolific songs ever dedicated to a woman (Dear Mama), as well as some of his most powerful pieces of poetry about Afeni that was published in his book, The Rose That Grew From Concrete.
While everyone around seemed to fall in love with Tupac's Dear Mama rap, Afeni had to relive the hurt that she caused her son every time the song came on the radio, and because the song peaked in the top 10 on the Billboard Hot 100 and Hip Hop charts, she heard the song a lot.
Putting drugs before her children hurt Afeni in so many ways, and she had to learn how live with the pain she caused her family for many years. But she learned, and helped other people grow into better people as she discovered herself, and the journey ahead of her.
Rest In Power, Queen Afeni.
There’s just something about HBCU Homecoming that just hits different. Whether it’s your first time stepping onto the yard since graduation or you’re a regular at every Homecoming tailgate, HBCU pride is undeniable. It’s a vibrant celebration that unites the legacy of excellence and tradition with the energy and resilience of Black culture.
The experience goes beyond a typical college reunion; HBCU Homecoming is a family reunion, a fashion show, a cultural festival, and a week-long turn-up that embodies what it means to be unapologetically Black and educated. For HBCU alumni, the journey back to the yard each year is rooted in a love and pride that’s hard to put into words but impossible to deny.
From statement pieces to tech must-haves, every item represents the intersection of Black pride and HBCU love, ensuring that you show up to the yard in style and with intention. So whether you’re repping your alma mater for the first time since graduation or looking for fresh pieces to express your HBCU pride, these essentials will have you standing out, because, at HBCU Homecoming, it’s not just about showing up—it’s about showing out.
Thread Goals
diarrablu Jant Pants in Alia Noir
High-waisted, wide-legged, and ready to shut down the yard, the Jant Pants by diarrablu bring a whole new meaning to campus chic. Handcrafted in Dakar, Senegal, these free-flowing jacquard pants are perfect for stepping onto the yard with style and ease—making them a must-have for any HBCU alum’s closet.
Silver & Riley Convertible Executive Leather Bag Classic Size in Olive
This all-in-one luxury bag isn’t a bestseller for nothing. The Silver & Riley essential is made of Italian calfskin leather and thoughtfully designed, as it can be worn in four different ways: a shoulder bag, crossbody, a top handle, and a backpack. Chic and elegant, the Convertible Executive Leather bag is “the bag that every woman needs in her collection.”
Renowned Women's Intuition Cotton Graphic T-Shirt
Renowned
Renowned’s Women’s Intuition Cotton Graphic T-shirt features a bold graphic print inspired by the power and essence of women’s intuition. With its striking design, this all-cotton tee is a vibrant thing, making it a statement piece that celebrates feminine energy.
Mifland Million M Mesh Crop Shirt
Talk about bold, the Million M Mesh Crop Shirt combines edgy style with comfort, featuring Mifland’s signature print on a semi-see-through mesh fabric. Show up and show out in sophisticated flair.
HBCU Love FUBU
Melanin Is Life Melanated & Educated - I Love My HBCU Hoodie
Show off your HBCU love with this piece that represents everything you gained from your alma mater: a top-tier education, a community that lifts you up, and a deep sense of esteem for yourself and your culture. Wear it loud and proud, because being melanated and educated isn’t just a flex—it’s a legacy.
HBCU Culture Spelmanite Sweatshirt in Navy
Spelmanites, rep your Spelman pride with this unisex crewneck sweatshirt, designed for ultimate comfort and a relaxed fit. Made from a cozy cotton/polyester blend, this classic sweatshirt is as durable as it is stylish—making it an ideal piece for any Spelmanite showing love for their alma mater.
HBCU Culture Howard Is The Culture T-Shirt
Rock the ultimate flex by showcasing your Howard U love with HBCU Culture’s Howard Is The Culture t-shirt. This unisex tee offers a comfortable, relaxed fit that’s perfect for celebrating your HBCU spirit without sacrificing style or comfort.
DungeonForward FAMU - Strike Bucket - Reversible
DungeonForward’s Strike Bucket Hat brings versatility and style to the FAMU Crown collection with its reversible design, giving you two looks in one. Featuring a sleek black snakeskin-embossed brim lining and a bold outline Rattler emblem, this hat is all about repping your Rattler pride in style.
DungeonForward Savannah State University - HBCU Hat - TheYard
The Savannah State University HBCU Hat by DungeonForward is more than just a hat—it’s a symbol of Tiger pride and a nod to the culture. Perfect for gamedays, tailgates, or just showing off your HBCU love, this hat lets you carry a piece of the yard wherever you go.
Tech the Halls
Anker iPhone 16 Portable Charger, Nano Power Bank
Stay charged up with the Anker Nano Power Bank, which features dual USB-C ports, a foldable connector, and a compact design, making it perfect for those HBCU tailgates and late-night parties you pull up to.
Drip Check
Wisdom Frame 14 Square Sunglasses
Elevate your look with these angular square-frame sunglasses by Wisdom, bringing an ultramodern edge to any outfit. The sleek design makes them perfect for blocking out the haters while you stunt on the yard.
Coco and Breezy Eyewear Fortune in Gray Turquoise
The Fortune Glasses in Grey Turquoise is a bold statement piece to any Homecoming weekend ‘fit that “embody our fearless and outspoken DNA.” With their color and edgy design, these frames by Coco and Breezy are perfect for anyone looking to stand out and express their unapologetic confidence.
Howard U Lapel Pin
Rep your Bison pride wherever you go with this Howard U Lapel Pin from Pretty AmbVision. Whether adding it to your jacket, shirt, or bag, this pin is the perfect way to showcase your love for your alma mater while rocking your HBCU love with honor and distinction.
Mifland Standard Rucksack Mini
The Standard Rucksack is designed to evolve like that HBCU pride—getting richer, bolder, and better with time. Durable, stylish, and built to last, this Rucksack by Mifland is a timeless piece equipped with versatile carrying options and fully adjustable back straps for ultimate comfort.
Stay Fresh, Stay Blessed
Slip Pure Silk Sleep Mask in Pink
Keeping it cute starts with beauty sleep. This luxurious silk mask is an essential for a reason. If protecting your skin and waking up refreshed is your priority, look no further than this Homecoming essential.
Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier Lemon Lime - Hydration Powder Packets
Stay hydrated and energized throughout Homecoming weekend with this Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier in Lemon Lime. Just add a packet to your water bottle, and bless your body with 2-3 times more hydration than water with every packet. Because staying hydrated is the key to popping up and showing out all weekend long!
Loop Experience Plus Earplugs High Fidelity Hearing Protection
Designed for your hearing protection, these sleek earplugs reduce noise without compromising sound quality—perfect for enjoying the band’s halftime show, late-night parties, and DJ sets. Whether you’re front row at the step show or hitting the yard, your ears deserve to be protected in style!
Black Girl Magic Glass Cup
Sip in style and celebrate your melanin with the Black Girl Magic Glass Cup. Perfect for morning coffee, your favorite iced drink, or showing off your HBCU pride on the yard—this cup is all about keeping it cute while radiating your endless supply of Black Girl Magic.
Glow Up & Show Out
Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30
What Homecoming weekend can be complete without an assist from this beauty find? Formulated to blend seamlessly into melanin-rich skin (no white-cast), protect your glow while you turn up with the Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30.
Sienna Naturals Issa Rae's Wash Day Ritual Set
Issa Rae’s Wash Day Ritual Set from Sienna Naturals includes the H.A.PI. Shampoo, the Plant Power Repair Mask, Dew Magic, and Lock and Seal to get your crown right. Whether you’re repping your coils or rocking a new color on the yard, these products restore and nourish your strands, keeping your hair healthy, strong, and Homecoming-ready!
54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter
Stay glowing from the tailgate to the after-party with the 54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter. Infused with African-sourced ingredients, this rich, multi-purpose butter is the answer to keeping your skin soft and radiant through all the festivities all Homecoming long.
Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil
Keep your lips looking luscious and nourished with the Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil. Perfect for adding an extra pop to your pout before hitting the yard or freshening up between events, this lip oil is a beauty essential for staying camera-ready all weekend.
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image by Visual Vic/Getty Images
The James Room’s Co-Owner Justin Miller On Inclusive Nightlife & Atlanta’s Growing Cultural Scene
The career path we choose sometimes presents itself to us during our childhood. One entrepreneur's desire to maintain and run his own business began around age 12.
Justin Miller, one half of the duo responsible for running Atlanta’s premiere gathering place, The James Room, began his entrepreneurial pursuits by selling his drawings at school.
“I think I was always an entrepreneur,” he tells xoNecole during an interview for Hyundai’s Best In Class series, highlighting entrepreneurs making a difference through their businesses who also happen to be HBCU alumni.
“I just had different hustles, as they call them, growing up. When I went to law school, that was my first big entrepreneurship. I started my own law firm right after law school in 2006, and I’ve been an adult entrepreneur ever since.”
Alongside his business partner, Harold “Poncho” Brinkley, Miller and his team aim to fill a niche that hasn’t been seen before in Atlanta—an upscale lounge environment that is diverse and in alignment with what is currently available to patrons in cities like New York, Los Angeles, or Chicago. Located in Atlanta’s Krog Street District, The James Room offers a wide range of entertainment. From weekly events like live music on Tuesdays, slow jams by a live DJ set on Wednesdays, and b-side vibes on Saturdays.
“People are a little bit segregated in Atlanta,” Miller explains. “People party separately. People hang out separately. So, we wanted to create a space where everyone could come together and enjoy life because we all love the same things, and there shouldn’t really be separation when people are trying to relax and have fun.
"The James Room fills that niche, and Poncho and I, when we started thinking about getting into this field, both of us enjoyed that type of thing. We both enjoyed environments where people are together and enjoying each other’s company, and it’s not separated by Black and white or age, that kind of thing, more just people who enjoy good, fun stuff.”
“People are a little bit segregated in Atlanta. People party separately. People hang out separately. So, we wanted to create a space where everyone could come together and enjoy life because we all love the same things, and there shouldn’t really be separation when people are trying to relax and have fun.
As a product of Morehouse College, Miller also shared how being a graduate of a historically Black college or university (HBCU) has played a significant role in his work as an entrepreneur.
“My network started from, of course, Morehouse, and then branched off to Clark Atlanta, Morris Brown, Spelman, those schools close to Morehouse,” says Miller. “When I was there and made the connections that you need to be an entrepreneur, I think that the network you get when you go to an HBCU is second to none for anybody, but especially a Black person trying to start their own business.”
He adds, “The network you get at Morehouse for a Black man is even double because it’s like becoming a member of the network and a member of a fraternity simultaneously. So you can reach out to people vertically and horizontally, and you all share the same background in a certain way, so people will listen to you that normally would not.”
By day, Miller’s passion for law shines brightly through his work at his law firm, Stewart Miller Simmons, which he and a few friends started with a people-first mindset. One of their first big cases involved representing the daughter of George Floyd after he was murdered by Minneapolis police officers in 2020.
In addition to that high-profile case, Miller shares that the team has also represented the family of Rayshard Brooks, the young Black man who was killed by police in front of an Atlanta Wendy’s restaurant. They’ve also represented the mother of Ahmaud Arbery, the 25-year-old who was killed by two white men while jogging in a neighborhood near Brunswick in Glynn County, Georgia.
“We have some of the biggest cases in the world,” says Miller, reflecting on the nature of his business within the law field. “But my passion, the thing that I love the most, is doing things like The James Room, being able to create things where I can go myself and decompress, So I know if I like it in the environment, it’s good, and it’s relaxing for me, I know it will be for everyone else. This is one of my driving forces.”
Miller’s biggest lesson as a business owner, especially regarding The James Room, is that "you can really have whatever you want.”
“You can do whatever you want. It just requires a commensurate amount of work,” says Miller. It’s completely up to you. If you outwork yourself, you will receive everything you want. If you don’t, then you’re going to see where you’re going to stay and where your business will stay. I played basketball in college, and after that, I learned that you have to work. I didn’t know that same philosophy worked in business the same exact way, but it does.”
When it comes to the legacy that he and Poncho aim to leave behind with The James Room, the sentiment is simple: They want the business to be remembered as providing a different type of space in Atlanta.
"If you outwork yourself, you will receive everything you want. If you don’t, then you’re going to see where you’re going to stay and where your business will stay. I played basketball in college, and after that, I learned that you have to work. I didn’t know that same philosophy worked in business the same exact way, but it does.”
“I don’t want it to be the last of that type of space or one of the few of that type of space. I’d like it to be the beginning of those types of spaces in the city,” Miller notes. “Atlanta is growing. It’s now very multicultural because I am from here. My family’s from Atlanta. I grew up between Athens and Atlanta, Georgia. So I’ve seen Atlanta grow from where it used to be to what it is now.”
“I want the legacy of The James Room to be as Atlanta grows into the multicultural, big city that it is turning into, that the nightlife also corresponds and gives people options other than hookah and chicken wings. There’s nothing wrong with hookah and chicken wings, but you should have other options… sometimes you might just want an espresso martini.”
As their business continues to serve young professionals and creatives alike, Miller and Poncho take pride in continuously creating a place where everyone can come together, mix, and mingle, but in a more relaxed setting where everyone’s story can be heard.
“What I would ultimately like to see for The James Room is it being a nationwide brand. A brand where you could put a James Room in Houston, or you could put a James Room in Nashville,” Miller concludes. “You could put a James Room anywhere because all these places need this type of nightlife. Also, the entrepreneurs there, the people doing the nightlife there, need to see that this thing can work.”
He adds, “We have a proof of concept, and I believe the world needs to see and have it. I am a person who believes that more is better. So if you have more people putting this kind of entertainment out for consumption, you’ll have more people who have choices and more people who can enjoy themselves differently than what’s normally offered to them in their city.”
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Feature image @jmilleresq/ Instagram