
Most of us grew up hearing the number "8" when it came to our health. We needed to drink eight glasses of water every day and we also needed to get eight hours of sleep every night. Unfortunately, most of us are pretty hard-headed. Reportedly, 75 percent of us are not only dehydrated but chronically so while 40 percent of us aren't catching enough zzz's.
On the sleep tip, this is a problem because it's when we're sound asleep that our minds and bodies get time to refresh and recharge. As a result, our stress levels are reduced, our heart gets stronger, our memory levels improve, we lower our risk of anxiety and depression and even our cells produce more protein so that they can repair any damage that may have occurred to them throughout the day.
That's why, no matter what you've got happening on your to-do list, sleep has got to be treated as a top priority. Not just sleep…good sleep. If mentally you know all of this but, deep down, you have to admit that you're not getting the kind of quality rest that your body truly deserves, here are some tips that are sure to take your sleep experience to another level, just as soon as tonight (if you actually make the time to apply them!)
10 Simple Ways To Improve Your Sleep
Eat Breakfast Food at Night
If you've never had an omelet or a piece (or two) of French toast for dinner, you don't know what you're missing! Not only is breakfast food at nighttime absolutely delicious, but certain ones can also help you to get the much-needed rest that you're after too.
The key is to eat foods that are high in complex carbs, protein, calcium, and tryptophan (it's what turkey is full of and why you want to fall asleep right after you eat some of it). Some of the foods that contain this combo are traditional breakfast ones including scrambled eggs, whole grain cereal or toast, yogurt with granola, bagels with salmon and cream cheese or a banana, raspberry and almond milk smoothie.
Take a Magnesium, Calcium and Zinc Supplement
Virtually every part of our body needs magnesium, calcium, and zinc. For starters, it keeps our nerves, bones, muscles, brain and cellular health intact. When our systems are deficient in any of these, it can trigger restlessness, anxiety and even insomnia.
I can personally attest to the fact that if you take this three-combo supplement about an hour or two before bed for about a week, you will end up having some of the best sleep of your entire life! Whenever I take it, I feel a noticeable difference in a good way. When I don't, sleep just isn't as awesome.
Turn Your Thermostat Down

I don't know about you, but I personally think there is nothing worse than falling asleep when I'm hot. The thing that I couldn't figure out for the longest is how I could go to bed feeling totally comfortable and then, in the middle of the night, I would be burning up. What I discovered is our body temperature changes, a few times, throughout the night. The way to not allow that to disrupt your sleep is by turning your thermostat down.
How low? Between 60-67 degrees is good. If you crack open your bedroom window (so that carbon dioxide fumes die down), that's even better. You'll stay cool and your electricity bill will be less expensive in the process.
Use Cotton Sheets
First question—how often do you change your sheets? You should be doing it once a week or once every other week. Your skin is constantly shedding dead skin cells; for the sake of your long-term health, you need to remove the bacteria from your bedding.
Second question—what kind of bedding do you use? According to sleep experts, sheets that are made out of a Pima cotton or an Egyptian cotton that have a sateen finish are best. What's so great about sateen sheets? They're softer. Also, for quality's sake, make sure to get new sheets every 18-24 months.
Oh, and if you're entering into menopause and you want to reduce the feeling of hot flashes in the middle of the night, look for moisture-wicking sheets. If you've never heard of those before, don't worry too much about it. Just ask a sales associate in the store where you're planning to purchase them to point you in the right direction.
Apply Essential Oils to Your Feet
I'm pretty sure that you've heard somewhere that lavender is great for helping you to fall asleep. Whether you decide to light up a lavender candle, sprinkle some of the oil on your sheets or even dab a bit underneath your nose, it has a way of relieving anxiety, restlessness, and insomnia-related symptoms.
What you might not know is if you want the oil to be the most effective, try rubbing some onto the soles of your feet about 30 minutes or so before turning in. The reason why this is such a smart thing to do is because your soles have five skin layers and absolutely no hair follicles. The combo makes the pores down there super-absorbent so that the lavender is able to get into your bloodstream pretty fast (which is why you should wear flip-flops when you're mopping the floor, etc.).
How fast? It shouldn't take more than 20 minutes before you're feeling super calm and very relaxed.
Blow Some Bubbles

Unless you have kids, you probably haven't blown bubbles since you were one yourself. But, believe it or not, it's another way to help you to catch some zzz's. According to a New York Post article, blowing bubbles is a fun form of deep breathing that helps to calm your nerves and relax your body.
It might sound crazy but hey, don't knock it until you try it!
Turn on Some White Noise

My last boyfriend was a music producer. A part of what that meant is, it was rare that he didn't want to go to sleep without some sort of music on. It drove me batty because while I'm a music lover as well, I personally like to sleep in silence. Or, at least until the past couple of months, I did.
What's changed? I really like the sound of rain when I sleep, so I've been playing white noise with rain sounds more often. When I read up on why I can sleep so well with those noises and not so well with music, I found that apparently when a noise wakes us up in the middle of the night, it's the change in frequencies that startle us more than anything. What white noise does is mask other frequencies so that it blocks out outside noise that has low, medium and high ever-changing frequencies that might disturb us.
White noise sounds that are really effective include rain, thunderstorms, the sound of a fan, ocean waves and pink noise. What in the world is "pink noise"? You can read more about here.
Put Some Beeswax on Your Hair, Skin and/or Lips
Here's a tip that I bet you didn't see coming. If you're someone who uses beeswax on your hair, whether you realize it or not, you're being pretty proactive when it comes to doing what is needed to fall asleep. That's because beeswax contains a compound called octacosanol. One thing that it does is lower the cholesterol levels in your body. The other thing it does is decrease your stress levels. The combo can make it easier for you to fall asleep.
If you don't want to put it into your hair, no problem. How about some DIY lotion or lip balm? If you want to give either a shot, click here and here for easy-to-make and also affordable recipes.
Drink Some Coconut Water with Honey
If you don't have any coconut water in your possession, you definitely should get some. Although it's made up of 94 percent water, coconut water also contains a good amount of calcium and magnesium, which we already discussed are must-have sleep nutrients. Something else that coconut water has plenty of is Vitamin B; there are studies to support that a lot of people who struggle with insomnia are typically Vitamin B deficient.
If you warm coconut water up and put a teaspoon of honey into it, even better! Long story short, our brains need energy even to stay asleep. When it runs out, sometimes that's what wakes us up. Honey is a food that will give your brain cells just the energy boost that it needs so that you can stay sound asleep all throughout the night.
As a bonus, honey also helps to stabilize your blood sugar levels as well as support the release of melatonin within your system. Melatonin is what helps to keep your sleep/wake cycles in their proper balance.
Have Sex

Yep. I saved the best for last. Think back to the last time you had sex that was followed by a night's sleep. Didn't you have some of the best rest EVER?! The reason is because sexual activity (especially orgasms) boosts the oxytocin and melatonin levels in your system. Whenever that happens, it makes you more relaxed, which makes it so much easier to fall asleep quicker; more soundly too.
So, if you've been having a really hard time falling or staying asleep, have some sex first. It might be all that you need to catch some much-needed zzz's (probably a few other things that you've been needing too!).
Featured image by Getty Images.
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This Is How To Keep 'Holiday Season Stress' From Infecting Your Relationship
Hmph. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like there is something really weird happening in the fall season air (because winter doesn’t officially begin until December 21) that cuddle season is in full swing while break-up season is as well. In fact, did you know that break-ups are so popular during the holiday season that December 11 is deemed Break-Up Day?
The reasons why relationships shift around this time vary; however, I did both roll my eyes and chuckle when I read that a very popular one is because it’s an easy way to get out of getting one’s significant other a Christmas present. SMDH.
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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Featured image by Shutterstock
Sergio Hudson On Designing With Intention And Who Gets Left Out Of The Industry
Sergio Hudson dreamt big as a young South Carolina boy staring out of the window of his mom’s Volvo driving down the Ridgeway, South Carolina streets. Those dreams led him to design opulent tailoring that’s been worn by Beyoncé, Queen Latifah, former Vice President Kamala Harris and Forever First Lady Michelle Obama, just to name a few.
Those dreams have come full circle in a new way as he recently collaborated with Volvo for a mini capsule collection suitable for chic and stylish moments this fall. The 40-year-old designer follows a long legacy of fashion aficionados who’ve used their innovation to push the automotive industry forward, including Virgil Abloh, Eddie Bauer, Paul Smith and Jeremy Scott.
Using the same material from the interior of the Volvo EX90, Hudson crafted a wool-blend car coat and waistbelt that combine the vehicle’s Scandinavian design with his signature tailoring and intention. The exclusive collection launched on October 20, and each piece is made-to-order by Sergio Hudson Collections.

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In October, I traveled to Charleston with a group of journalists to get a firsthand look at Hudson and Volvo’s location. During a fitting, Hudson said his goal is to make “great work that can stand the test of time.”
“People can look back on and say, ‘I remember when Sergio did that collaboration with Volvo,’” he continued. “Thinking about aligning yourself with classic brands that speak to where you want to go. And I think that's what this collaboration kind of means to me and my business.”
Hudson pinpoints his mom as the biggest influence for his designs. This collaboration was no different.
“This particular coat reminded me of the swing coats that my mom used to wear in the early 90s. You know, diva girls in the early 90s had Sandra suits,” he said, referring to Jackée Harry’s character in 227. “My mom wore those and she would have these matching swing coats to go over them. And that's where the initial idea came. This would be around the same time that we had our Volvo. So she would put on her suit, her swing coat, get in that red Volvo, and go to church.”

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With this capsule and beyond, Hudson wants to see more staples rotating in and out of closets this fall. He advises fashionistas to build her closet out with essentials to mix and match that aren’t just stylish but also sustainable.
“It's just those special pieces,” he said. “You can wear the same shirt and pants every day and nobody will notice. But if you have a special boot, a special coat, a special bill, a special bag, that kind of speaks to everything that your style stands about, that is something you should focus on.”
These are the same kind of staple pieces that return to our Pinterest boards and TikTok feeds season after season. Fast fashion has never been Hudson’s aim. “I'm trying to create a special pieces that can stand the test of time,” he said in his warm, Southern accent. “I'm only creating those kind of pieces from here on out.”

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For Hudson, this collaboration is revolutionary. It’s his first time working with a car company and experimenting outside of his wheelhouse in this way.
“This is a Scandinavian brand, and, you know, it's 70 years old. I'm an African-American boy from South Carolina that has had a brand for 10 years. So I think bridging those two worlds and seeing the similarities was the beauty of this project,” he explained.
Though Hudson and his partner and CEO of Sergio Hudson Collections Inga Beckham have made massive strides in just 10 years, Hudson said the industry is far from where he wants to see it when it comes to Black representation. He pointed to how few Black designers were at this year’s Met Gala despite the theme being Black dandyism.
“The fact that I dressed 18 people speaks to how many of us weren't there,” he said. He implored more of industries, fashion and beyond, to collaborate with Black designers often.
“Allow mentorship. Allow funding. Allow great design to shine through,” he implored. “When it comes to being a designer of African descent, when you can't get the funding that your counterparts have, you can't compete. When you get opportunities like doing a collaboration with Volvo, or you get opportunities to be at the Met Gala, that's putting us on the equal playing field, but really the funding behind it is what we need to take it to that desk level.”
Featured image courtesy









