The Verdict Is In, So Now What? Here’s How To Support The Culture After The Derek Chauvin Trial
It's official, guys. Derek Chauvin, the ex-officer who was at the center of the murder of George Floyd, has now been convicted of the crime. To say this is an interesting turn of events is an understatement, but I'm guessing that watching a video of him kneeling on his neck for almost ten minutes, was hard to deny. In fact, Chauvin was found guilty on all counts, a verdict that could send the disgraced former Minneapolis police officer to prison for the rest of his life.
Welp.
The 12 jurors didn't want to hear the defense's claim that there might have been other medical reasons that Floyd died, saying Chauvin killed him, even if unintentionally. And although you and I know that this shouldn't even be a question, it's pretty understood that that damn justice system rarely works in our favor. The fact that the word "nervous" was trending on Twitter prior to the verdict announcement, basically tells you everything you need to know.
But then it happened. It actually happened.
Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. "The selected jury finds you guilty, Derek Chauvin."
The inner child in me wept for the years of blatant disregard for Black life, while the outer gangster in me was relieved that I could, for once, not feel the sting of inequity.
"Today, we are able to breathe again," Floyd's brother Philonise Floyd said afterward. Minnesota Attorney General Keith Ellison, whose office oversaw Chauvin's prosecution, chimed in as well, saying:
"I would not call today's verdict justice, however, because justice implies true restoration. But it is accountability, which is the first step toward justice."
But now what? What's next?
Stay on the gas.
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A major component to the outcome of this trial was the teamwork of millennials, partnered with the fearlessness of Gen-Z in Minnesota. If anything, these two generations in Minnesota is who this victory is owed to. They proved to the entire country that that quiet cousin that never says much, has those hands, and they aren't afraid to swing during the casualties of war to have their voice heard. Minnesota was like, "Peaceful protesting? Tuh. Burn dis bih down." And it was done on a scale that many of us had never experienced, or seen, before. And let's be real, had it not happened, Derek Chauvin would just be another cop who walked free, just as the previous 15K+ officers involved in a police killing have.
They hit the pavement, they demanded justice and let it be very known that anything less, would have consequences. A tone was set. It was beautiful.
But this can't be done each time. Now, it's time to work smarter.
So, identify the 'Stacey Abrams' in your city.
The 2020 election didn't go the way that many racists wanted it to, and we owe that all to a Black woman (of course). Stacey Abrams is a master in chess, outplaying her opponents at their own game. She, like Minnesota, had a few hands herself, as she defeated America with their rules. She empowered Black people to use their voice so powerfully, that these white folk are out here labeling legal and accurate votes as fraud. She has won multiple awards, has been hailed a hero, and praised for her work.
But guess what? There's a Stacey Abrams in every city. And so many go unnoticed. Identify yours. Let it be heard who they are. Listen to them. Support them. Or if you don't know where to start, get involved with Fair Fight Action.
Stay on the gas.
Pass The 'George Floyd Justice In Policing' Act
The U.S. House of Representatives passed the George Floyd Justice in Policing Act in a 220-212 vote. It was introduced by the badass, Karen Bass (a woman that you need to know) and former chairwoman of the Congressional Black Caucus.
The reintroduced bill would: prohibit profiling based on race and religion and mandate training on profiling; ban chokeholds, carotid holds and no-knock warrants; require the use of federal funds to ensure use of body cameras; establish a National Police Misconduct Registry; amend the prosecution standard for police from "willfulness" to "recklessness" and reform qualified immunity; and require stronger data reporting on police use of force.
Officers who do not comply to these measures, will be held accountable. Which is imperative to reform.
Call 202-499-6085 and tell them you're in favor of the bill.
Invest in YOUR community.
GiphySupporting your community looks different to many people. To some it could be supporting a Black business online and spending your dollars there. But the way to have true change, is to start in your community. Know your elected officials in your neighborhood. Get to know patrolling officers, know who you're dealing with. Pick up trash you may see in your area. Find out what events take place near you and support them. Visit local small businesses in your neighborhood. Spend money in your community. Don't see enough trash cans or think that a traffic light could go at that intersection? Demand these things.
It starts at home. Focus there, first and everything else will fall into place.
Last but not least, practice self-care.
Guys, we have to decompress. We have to take a step back, sometimes. We won this battle, but in order to truly win, we have to take care of self. We're are setting our sights on Daunte Wright's death, who needs our support, and moments after the Derek Chauvin verdict was announced, 16-year old Ma'khia Bryant was murdered by an officer.
Too much information is readily available at our fingertips, which takes a toll. PTSD is real, and we all suffer just because we exist in the times.
Take the time to shut the phone off. Find a new hobby. Master that thing you've been practicing, or unwind with friends. You cannot take care of anything if you don't take care of you.
And we need you.
Are you a member of our insiders squad? Join us in the xoTribe Members Community today!
Featured image by Giphy
Charmin Michelle is a southern native and creative spirit who works as a content marketer and events manager in Chicago. She enjoys traveling, #SummertimeChi, and the journey of mastering womanhood. Connect with her on Instagram @charminmichelle.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images