Then, Now & Forever: 20 Quotes About Sex, Dating & Love From TV's Finest Black Women
Culture & Entertainment

Then, Now & Forever: 20 Quotes About Sex, Dating & Love From TV's Finest Black Women

As much as I like Carrie Bradshaw and crew, I can't help but especially love a show that sums up the cultural, sexual, and romantic experiences of Black women.

This goes to the need for diversity in the roles we see ourselves in on TV. Yes, we've seen growth in the number of black women given leading roles on primetime TV in recent years and they're hella badass.

However, shows like Scandal or Being Mary Jane, as good as they are, only portray one variance of black single women. We need characters who are unique to us, but relatable in their everyday happenings. Being Mary Jane is the dream (career-wise) — she's the goal — but we need characters that mirror where we are in the present. Obviously, this can't be done with one lead role and thus our desire for a girl gang to call our own when we sit down in front of our TV on any given night. I mean how else will we pinpoint which character personality belongs to us and provide the rest of our squad with a matching persona (i.e. Who's the Molly of your friends? Joan?).

That said, I've found that women of color only get one Sex and the City-esque show per decade.

The 90s gave us Living Single, the early 2000s came through with Girlfriends, and my generation has been blessed with Insecure. As often as we quote SATC, let us not continue to sleep on the wise words from women like Toni Childs, Maxine Shaw, and our girls Molly Carter and Issa Dee. Nevertheless, dating as a black woman is an experience in and of itself. Furthermore, it's an experience that we don't always get to approach with laughter and a light heart in the media. Here are 20 quotes from TV's finest on all things men.

"There is nothing wrong with wanting a good man. God put them here for us and it's a beautiful thing but they can't complete us, we must do that ourselves. Once we give ourselves the respect we deserve, we empower ourselves to be free. Free to choose a man who deserves us or to march on by ourselves." —Maxine

"I don't like having sex with an unemployed man." —Lynn

"It's a basic male psychology. When a man sees an ex-girlfriend, he can't believe she's still breathing and forming complete sentences. How does she do it? He must know." —Khadijah

"I do not date. I audition life mates." —Regine

"F*ck him. Move on." —Kelli

"Put your doubts to the side, get his ass in the bed. Even if it's whack, you can still get some head." —Issa

"Eventually we all get crushed by the male libido. I was in love once." —Maxine

"You gotta f*ck a lot of frogs to get a good frog." —Molly

"I think guys with kids are sweet and they're so thankful for any sex you give em." —Lynn

"Girl, that's what we're here for. To cultivate them. You see, a good man is like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, our jobs is to stomp em and then keep em in the dark until they mature into something we wouldn't mind having dinner with." —Maxine

"I know all about that kinda coffee. Strong, black, and hot." —Lynn

"You buy me dinner and I'm yours for the night. Throw in some groceries and I'm yours for the week." —Toni

"Next thing I know, he kissed me and my clothes fell off." —Khadijah

"You're too young to be worried about boys. And, until you can read Zora Neale Hurston and write a ten-page thesis, you need to steer clear of their twisted little minds." —Toni

"Guys always want you back when they know you doing good without them." —Molly

"I'm just tired of this dating shit. Girl, it's so much f*cking work. All the messages I gotta send. I gotta be cute and careful and witty and charming. It's a lot." —Issa

"If you're looking for a sensitive man, might as well go lesbian. God knows, if the penis wasn't so finely crafted, I'd of gone there years ago." —Lynn

"You a f*ck nigga. No. You know what? You worse than a f*ck nigga, you a f*ck nigga that thinks he's a good dude." —Tasha

"Maybe I want to be d*cked down properly. You know? Face down, ass up. Surrounded by foreign freaks. Maybe I wanna ask n*gga what he wants for breakfast and he replies, 'That p*ssy.' And, he's talking about me, girl." —Issa

"Just because two people love each other doesn't mean they're good for each other." —Toni



These Newlyweds Found Love Thanks To A Friend Playing Matchmaker

How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.

Jason and Elise Robinson’s union is a reminder that kind people still get their happily ever after. The pair had their first date in October of 2021 and tied the knot on June 15, 2024. Both of them have dedicated their lives to celebrating and supporting Black culture so it was only fitting they get married in what's considered the Black Hollywood of America during the Juneteenth celebration weekend. From the florists to Elise and Jason's gown and suit designers to the table signage and so much more, everything was Black-owned. It's no wonder their love for Black culture was the jumping-off point for their love story.


While in a session with a client a few months back, she found herself going on a bit of a tangent about how no woman she knows has ever experienced a vaginal orgasm before, so she didn’t get why it was such a big deal. All I did was sit quietly and let her vent until she said, “Right Shellie? Do you know anyone who’s had one before?”

Yep. Me. And yes, I am well aware of the fact that it’s kind of like being a unicorn out here. Trust me.