While wardrobe, hairstyles, and shoes are the obvious ways we express ourselves, some of us have an appreciation for another aspect of beauty to complete our signature look and the way we feel. Perfume has been the way we speak to others without saying a word. It communicates whether we're flirty, soft, and feminine, earthy and confident, or everything in between. Fragrances do more than help us smell good. If we think about it, it's a part of who we are.
I remember when I first started wearing CHANCE by Chanel. It was a gift and honestly something I would have never purchased for myself. I always admired women who swore by their favorite perfume (they always seemed so put together and womanly), but I never invested in myself that way. After a few sprays of my new favorite fragrance, I started to wonder how I lived without it for so long. I experienced a new level of empowerment, confidence, and womanhood. And that seems to be the consensus about the power of a signature scent.
We talked to five women who dished on what fragrance makes them feel the most powerful, and why they have no plans on ever letting it go.
Karen
Courtesy of Karen
"I love to feel elegant and classy on any day! Sensational by Celine Dion helps me unravel the sweet spots in life, wherever I go. When I smell amazing, I feel good... and when I feel good, I know I can conquer anything!
"This perfume exudes the warm combinations of sweet-smelling jasmine, amber, and sandalwood. It also has notes of frozen pear, apple, and plum. The powerful yet subtle aroma of these scents makes me feel so feminine and ready to take charge!
"A perfume that has the power to motivate me in such a positive way, is definitely a keeper. I always make sure I have this scent close by, ready to make magic whenever I am!"
Tiffany
"I believe a woman's scent is a part of her aura, her energy. The moment I spray on Chanel No. 5 L'eau, not only are my senses heightened but so is my confidence. It's a fresh, sweet and alluring scent that's lighter than its predecessor, the original Chanel No. 5.
"Wearing Chanel No. 5 L'eau makes me powerful because it evokes emotions and leaves an imprint that stimulates all the senses. I command the room with my presence, leaving a strong impression. But I believe it's my scent that leaves an imprint. Whether it's recognized as sultry, sexy, or strong. Every woman has that fragrance that has a magnetic pull which makes her unforgettable. And for me, it's Chanel No. 5 L'eau."
Candace Junée
Courtesy of Candace Junée
"Smelling good has always been one of the things that has built confidence for me. I love fashion, hair, and beauty so I've always felt that the way I smell is a cherry on top to finish my look for the day. I love getting compliments on how I smell, the way I dress, and how I style my hair.
"Gucci Guilty makes me feel super feminine, elegant, chic, and memorable. It makes me feel confident that I smell as good as I look and feel... and there's nothing more powerful than walking into a room full of confidence from within! Whether I'm on my way to meet with a client or going out for the night, I feel confident that my presence will be remembered."
Moyo
Courtesy of Moyo
"My favorite perfume is Alien by Mugler, along with their body lotion. I absolutely love the smell and the design of the deep-purple glass bottle, which I may add is my favorite color. Since 2018, this has become my signature scent. I was working at my first corporate job, straight out of college when I first purchased this perfume. It was a high-end fragrance that I wanted to gift myself. It's not just another $15 body spray, you know?
"Every time I wear Alien, someone, usually an older woman, compliments my smell and or knows the exact brand that I am wearing, which makes me feel powerful. Knowing that I selected and purchased my own perfume makes me feel powerful. I walk around with a boost of confidence and positive energy. There are so many cliche quotes that remind us of how important perfume is and they are in fact all true. Wearing Alien reminds me of the powerful woman that I am.
"When I put it on Alien, it makes me feel like I can conquer the day. I feel independent and beautiful. It's empowering, feminine, subtle yet strong."
Kyona
Courtesy of Kyona
"Coco by Chanel makes me feel unstoppable yet soft and beautiful! There is always something about getting dressed, doing your hair, perfecting your face, then gracing your body with an impeccable scent to top it all off. Adding this scent makes me feel like everyone who encounters me will see (and smell) how intentional I was about caring for my appearance. Dressing the part is the first step, smelling good just seals the deal!"
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here to receive our latest articles and news straight to your inbox.
Featured image courtesy of Candace Junée
RELATED
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images
