Teyana Taylor Is Keeping That Same Energy In More Ways Than One
Oh, these male-dominated industries with their double standards and lack of self-awareness.
So many times we, as women, have had to dim our light in the presence of men in the workplace, whether or not we want to. With the #MeToo movement and the revelations that the "casting couch" is real, the entertainment industry is no stranger to toxic men exerting their power over women in the name of "it's just business."
Teyana Taylor refuses to succumb to the sexist and misogynistic pressures of the music industry, even if it's at the expense of speeding up her career trajectory. The singer, wife, and mother has come a long way from her days of skateboarding and singing on the blocks of her native Harlem. While the K.T.S.E. artist has faced many roadblocks in her career, she is also reluctant to settle for less than she's worth. She recently spoke with Playboy about self-respect, growing up fast and why patience is her biggest challenge.
Taylor says that even though she has goals and dreams of her own, she's not willing to belittle herself in order to achieve them. Many may perceive this as being difficult, but as any woman navigating these male-centric industries knows, the ability to speak up for oneself is necessary and a form of self-respect. She says:
"I'm not difficult; I'm just not willing to belittle myself—to settle...I'm going to have self-respect. I'm going to be a strong woman all across the board, whether you like it or not. Maybe that's why it took me so long to get where I wanted to be. I was never willing to be what someone else wanted."
Being a strong woman is often intimidating and even off-putting to those who are not able to handle it. In the music industry, we've seen the perils of some video vixens and Instagram models who are willing to do just about anything to "make it." Taylor has seen this firsthand and explains that she is not the one. You better put some respect on her name. The alpha female quips:
"Hey, if we don't bust it wide open, there ain't gonna be no you! So put some respect on that capital W in Woman. Wo-man."
Taylor has always been extremely invested in actually knowing "the game" and refusing to play by its old set of "rules." Jumping into the industry at the tender age of 16, the 27-year-old has seen her fair share of the ins and outs of the music industry. While she knows that it's a "dirty game," she was wise enough to learn the rules and to always keep her eyes wide open, regardless of who may be intimidated by her awareness. This awareness also forced her to grow up fast. She tells Playboy:
"Being in the business of this dirty, dirty game, I had to grow up pretty fast. You gotta be careful. You got to know what's going on, because some people are intimidated that you know too much at a young age."
With this knowledge, it is important to realize that not everyone will have your best interest at heart. For Taylor, refusing to play by the old rules has forced her to be a lot more patient in the pursuit of her vision. Recently, there was some controversy surrounding the rollout of her latest album K.T.S.E., and for Taylor, she says patience is her biggest challenge. When you're setting a different precedent in any career, there is no doubt that patience will be a key factor to your success. She says:
"Patience has been my biggest challenge. There's times where I'd just be laying in bed, crying. I'd been doing this for so many years and it was just not happening."
Taylor is a great example of why it's important as women to know your worth in business. Had she played by the rules, she might have been another one-hit wonder, never to be heard from again. As women, embracing our power means focusing on our vision regardless of the naysayers and the opportunists.
It also means being patient when we are trying to shift the existing paradigms of our respected industries—not everyone is open to change, but if it's what you want, be prepared for the long haul. Keep that same energy.
To read more of Teyana Taylor's interview with Playboy, click here.
Featured image by Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images
Michelle Schmitz is a writer and editor based in Washington, DC originally from Ft Lauderdale, FL. A self-described ambivert, you can find her figuring out ways to read more than her monthly limit of The New York Times, attending concerts, and being a badass, multi-tasking supermom. She also runs her own blog MichelleSasha.com. Keep up with her latest moves on IG: @michellesashawrites and Twitter: @michellesashas
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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How A Stay At Switzerland's Luxurious 7132 Hotel Reminded Me To Live The Life I Deserve
Sometimes, as women—especially as single Black women—we simply need to be reminded that we are deserving of living a life we dream of. Even if that means creating it for ourselves. I recently set out on a weeklong trip to Switzerland, a trip I’ve been wanting to take for years, and near the end of my visit, I had an epiphany.
“DeAnna, this is the life you deserve,” I thought to myself as I took in the gorgeous bathroom in my suite at the famous 7132 Hotel and Thermal Spa. It was one of the most luxurious hotels (and bathrooms) I had ever stayed in—and that’s saying a lot for someone who often travels for work.
To help you better understand why this was such a mental awakening for me, I first need to give a bit of my backstory. I’m in my late thirties. I’m an attorneyand a journalist. I own a home and have traveled the world extensively. Essentially, I’ve done everything in life I set out to do. However, when it comes to dating, I struggle. Not because there is anything wrong with me per se, but because my career and “lifestyle” often create problems in my romantic relationships.
View from my hotel room
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I’ve been told everything from, ‘I can’t continue to date you because you seem to choose your career over wanting to settle down and have kids’ by a man after only the second date to ‘Maybe if you just sat down somewhere for a while, I’d actually wife you’ by someone who has honestly never proven themselves to be the settle down type. And these are only a handful of the things I’ve been told over the years.
It’s been frustrating, to say the least, and there have even been seasons where I purposely dimmed my light in hopes that my career wouldn’t push away potential suitors. I know what you’re thinking, “Girl, why would you even consider that? If they’re for you, it won’t matter what you do.” Hey, don’t judge me, but also, I one hundred percent agree.
My hotel bathroom
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That’s why this recent moment in Switzerland was right on time. When I first walked into the hotel to check in, I was blown away by the surrounding beauty. It was a five-star property with one of the world’s most famous thermal bathhouses. Yet, it was something about seeing that 90% of the hotel’s guests were couples, that forced me to sit back for a bit of introspection—while soaking in the thermal spa, of course.
As I went through the mental conversation, there was a battle of sorts. On one hand, I knew that being able to partake in experiences like the one I was having at that moment was important to me. I knew that, at times I actually love being able to dabble in the finer things—after all, I’ve worked hard to be able to afford them. On the other hand, and sadly, I knew that sometimes being a single Black woman that publicly showcases her “luxurious” habits can intimidate men and even scare them off from pursuing you under the guise of them feeling like they “can’t do anything for you, because you have everything.”
My hotel room
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So, what is a girl to do?
Do I minimize/hide the life and experiences that I have? Do I play down the hard work I’ve put in to get where I am professionally? Or, do I risk being single in exchange for being able to have said life, without backlash?
Luckily, the joy that I felt while being at this property won. There was something about taking a full day to simply pamper myself at the bathhouse and in my in-room steam shower and soaker tub, indulging in cuisine from a 2-star Michelin restaurant and doing all of this while surrounded by an amazing group of Black women that reminded me—this is certainly the life I was meant to live and that I deserve. Even if it means that right now, I’ll just have to provide it for myself until the right partner comes along. And honestly, I’m okay with that.
Restaurant at 7132 hotel
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