Tabitha Brown Gives Her View On What It Means To Have It All
Social media star, host, and entrepreneur Tabitha Brown is opening up about her interpretation of freedom and its significance in her journey to success.
The 44-year-old's brush with fame began over a decade ago after landing minor roles in films and television shows. In 2020, Brown solidified her celebrity status after various vegan food and inspirational videos went viral on TikTok.
The mother of two's online popularity led to numerous job opportunities, such as partnerships with Target and McCormick, a haircare brand Donna's Recipe, and a children's series Tab Time, to name a few. In a June interview on Amanda Seeles' Small Doses podcast, Brown shared details about her life before fame and what it means to have it all.
Tabitha On Freedom And Having It All
During the discussion, Brown revealed that since achieving success over the years by being authentic and remaining true to herself regardless of how that looked to others, she realized that the definition of having it all meant being free.
"For me having it all is being free," she said. "Like freedom, being completely who I am. No code-switching, no conforming, no shrinking myself to make anybody else feel big or comfortable. Being completely free. Not covering my accent anymore...Trying to constantly be a size two or four, wear my hair one way."
Further into the interview, Brown disclosed that despite mastering the freedom to be herself, it didn't come naturally in the past due to societal pressures and the influence others had on her life, including her late mother, Patricia.
"So, growing up in the south, I learned very early how to code switch right. I learned by watching my mama talk to people at the bank or white people, or bill collectors calling; her voice would change."
Tabitha On Her Early Beginnings And Her Breaking Point
Brown explained that hiding who she was or creating a different version of herself to obtain jobs ultimately took a toll, so much so that she almost lost herself in the process.
"I gave so much of myself away for so long that it's almost like I lost myself... And I know I have me again. I feel like I had a lost season that was a very long time," she stated.
"That's because the root of me has always been who I am. That's the person that my closest friends know, my family they know the true Tab...But when I moved to L.A., pursuing acting in 2004, my thought was I got to create this person to win."
Near the end of the segment, Brown shared that her breaking point occurred while working in corporate America. She explained that she fell ill after trying to show her worth to the company.
"It was a game of survival. I'm trying [to] help my husband [Chance Brown] and be a good partner and make money. ‘Cause I'm also trying to pursue this acting thing that's not really paying nothing yet. So I need this job, so I want to prove to them I am worthy. That used to be the thought which is also no freedom," she said.
Brown added that after coming to terms with what was happening and going on a journey to find herself again, she acknowledged that one of the leading causes of her autoimmune sickness was "not being free."
"When I found myself again, I realized there was so many things that were making me sick, and not being free was one of them," she stated. "When you're not free, you allow people to treat you any kind of way. You start to settle for things that you don't deserve. That's what I did for a very long time. But honey, not no more."
Brown's recent admission about her journey to freedom could motivate others to take that step in their lives.
Tabitha Brown On How She Had To Choose Herself To Have It All | Small Doses Podcast @iamtabithabrown
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Feature image by David Livingston/WireImage
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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What These Beauty Editors And Writers Learned About Beauty From Their Moms
Beauty editors are the heart of the industry. They work endlessly to provide us with inspiring stories and keep us up to date on beauty trends that help remind us we are that girl. However, before they were the trailblazers of the beauty industry, they were little girls inspired by their mothers’ beauty routines.
Watching them every morning as they put on their favorite lipstick and got ready for the day. Dreaming of the moment when they, too, could play in their mother's makeup bag and discover the secret behind the captivating beauty world.
Asia Milia Ware, Kayla Greaves, and Shauna Beni are three masterminds behind some of your favorite digital publications. They have pushed beauty trends and started groundbreaking conversations in the industry. Not only are they some of the most talented beauty writers and editors, but they are fabulous women who get it from their mamas!
We chatted with each of them to learn more about how their mothers have influenced their love for beauty.
Asia Milia Ware
Beauty and Fashion Writer, The Cut
Asia Milia Ware is a beauty and fashion force to be reckoned with. You can catch her on somebody's island in the latest fashion or at an occasional function with friends and a bold red lip. Ware’s infectious love for beauty and fashion started as a young girl watching her mom’s simple yet profound beauty routine. “My mom’s beauty routine was simple. She had her go-to Revlon red lipstick that doubled as a blush, followed by Amber Rose perfume oil, and she would do her nails,” says Ware. As Ware gained an admiration for beauty, she would turn her mother's sweet red lipstick kisses into blush. A mother’s love would soon birth the trajectory of Ware’s successful career in the beauty industry.
“It impacted me as a young girl because I saw how it made her feel. I saw the instant mood booster it was to apply her lipstick, and I saw how special she felt when she would go to the hair salon and be pampered instead of doing it herself,” she says. Seeing her mother’s confidence and happiness made Ware crave a similar feeling. Sneaking into her mother’s makeup bag and putting on lipstick became a thrill. That thrill soon turned into Ware tagging along to the nail salon with her aunts. “I saw Black women unapologetically indulging in themselves through beauty, and it was a community I couldn’t wait to be part of.”
Seeing women pour into themselves was pivotal for the way Ware would view self-love, but Ware’s most important lesson in beauty would be self-acceptance. “I was a rebel; if she [her mother] told me I didn't need certain makeup or weave, I would still want it. But, in hindsight, she was teaching me to love everything about myself without the enhancements,” says Ware. Living in a world where beauty can seem more important than who we are, learning to love our core can help enhance our self-confidence and view beauty as an accessory, not a necessity.
Kayla Greaves
Award-winning Beauty Journalist and former Beauty Editor at InStyle
“My mother was very big on beauty. I can’t remember when she ever went out without glam and a fit to match,” says Greaves. The apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree. Greaves is an award-winning journalist who challenges beauty norms while looking effortless in glam. Like her mother, she has a wash and roller set and well-manicured nails. “She had her weekly wash days, followed by doing her own roller set, and while under the dryer, she would be doing her mani/pedi. Many of my memories of her have become fuzzy, but as a little girl, I remember looking up to her and thinking she was the most beautiful woman on the planet,” says Greaves.
Like most little girls, Greaves enjoyed playing in her mother's closet and makeup. She fell into beauty as she tried on her mother's clothes and indulged in her makeup bag. “I always wanted my nails painted, my hair done, and begged her to put a little blush on my cheeks before we went out,” says Greaves. Her mother's passion for beauty was soon embedded in her daughter, who couldn’t wait to define beauty for herself.
As Greaves grew up, she unfortunately couldn’t bask in conversation about beauty with her mother. However, she’s adopted what she remembers of her mom into her routine. “she always had a simple makeup routine, and I've adopted that. My go-to look is a combo of mascara, a little highlighter, and a well-lined red or nude lip. Ironically, I have my mother's lips—maybe that's why they're my favorite feature.” Greaves' mother's love for beauty will forever be remembered and carried through her daughter's spirit.
Shauna Beni-Haynes
Shopping Editor, Teen Vogue
Shauna Beni-Haynes' beauty routines are filled with so much life. From pink hair to vibrant makeup and fashion looks, Haynes' love for beauty knows no bounds. Although Haynes’ relationship with beauty is larger than life, her mom always kept things simple. “All she needed was a classic red lip, red nails, and a big, voluminous blowout. That was her go-to beauty routine, and I love looking back at her pictures and seeing how beautiful she looked,” says Haynes.
Similar to Haynes, her mother created her own rules when it came to beauty. A bold red lip and voluminous hair deeply impacted Haynes at a time when most were doing the opposite. “In a time when the beauty standard was focused on long, straight, silky hair, I could rock my natural curls loud and proud, thanks to the confidence instilled from my mom's beauty routine,” says Haynes. Her mother’s courage became rooted in a lesson for Haynes to use the beauty features she already had, allowing her to embrace her full self.
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Featured image by Asia Milia Ware/Instagram