We Are Still Under SZA's CTRL
This month, SZA released the deluxe version of her debut album CTRL in observance of the fifth year anniversary of the album’s release. Featuring previously unreleased tracks, including an alternate version of “Love Galore,” which fans got an opportunity to hear during one of the Grammy-winning singer’s live performances, the revamped collection of songs has given fans a chance to reflect on life when the album first came out vs. now.
Despite the fact that only five years have passed, 2017 feels like several lifetimes ago. A series of personal and societal catastrophes have taken place over the course of the half-decade since CTRL was released. Relistening to the album recently activated a tender pang in my chest for the Black girl I was when the album first came out and all the Black girls that have similarly found themselves in the lyrics of Solána Imani Rowe.
In the opening track “Supermodel,” you first hear the voice of SZA’s mother saying “That is my greatest fear/ That if, if I lost control/ Or did not have control/Things would just, you know/I would be fatal.” From there SZA sings about finally laying to rest a relationship with a toxic ex. “I'm writing this letter to let you know/ I'm really leaving/And, no, I'm not keeping your shit.”
Throughout the entire album, we hear SZA wrestle with the heartache brought on by both a toxic relationship and the growing pains of being in your twenties. In “Love Galore” we hear her exclaim to her partner “why you bother me when you know you don’t want me?!” In “Drew Barrymore” she posits: “I get so lonely I forget what I'm worth/ We get so lonely we pretend that this works.”
It’s the disarming honesty that draws people into SZA’s world. We hear her attempts to gain some form of power in her relationship in “The Weekend” where she casts herself as an adulterous seductress who arranges the timetable with her man’s woman for when she can see her man.
Naming the album CTRL, despite it being so much about the loose, unmanageable time of your twenties, feels apt for all the contradictory moments when you’re just so desperately wanting things in your life to make sense. When CTRL first came out, I felt aimless. I was a 22-year-old college dropout who was worried I had ruined any chance I had at a fulfilling life. Listening to her song “20 Something,” in particular when she says “How could it be?/ 20 something, all alone still/ Not a thing in my name/ Ain't got nothin', runnin' from love/ Only know fear/ That's me, Ms. 20 Something/ Ain't got nothin', runnin' from love/ Wish you were here, oh,” that resonated with me the most. It felt like for the first time in my adult life I was no longer so consumed by the loneliness of assuming that I was the only one feeling this unbearable cluelessness.
The newer tracks don’t offer anything new by way of insight, only reaffirming the initial message of CTRL. A lot has changed since we first heard SZA singing about her sneaky links and love gone awry and about her love for Narcos and Tacos. But singing about the growing pains that plague so many Black women in early adulthood is why five years after its debut, during a time when music often fades into obscurity, we are still all under SZA’s CTRL.
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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ItGirl In Motion: DonYé Taylor Asked Herself This Question When Creating Her Brainchild
"Being an 'ItGirl' is all about being yourself and taking all of the elements that make you who you are and displaying them at your highest capability," creative brainiac DonYé Taylor says in the introduction of the limited video series, "ItGirl In Motion."
In partnership with Hyundai, xoNecole has unveiled the limited series in conjunction with our inaugural ItGirl 100 list. The list boasts 100 Black women who not only innovate and take up space when it comes to putting on for their cities, but also as the driving force behind brands that create impact for the culture. ItGirl DonYé Taylor is one of the 100 featured ladies who put her purpose into action.
ITGIRL IN MOTION with DONYE TAYLORwww.youtube.com
As a marketing consultant, content creator, and CEO, a driving force behind DonYé's ambitions has been to show others how she sees the world by "creating art and doing things that shift perspective." In founding her brainchild, Nüclei, which is coincidentally also home to the ever-so-chic chrome brain piggybank, DonYé briefly touched on the inspiration behind the brand. "I was like, 'What would it look like if I were to be of service to myself?' And that's what made me create Nuclei," she said.
Watch the video above to take a peek into the life of the LA-based ItGirl, the importance of Black women receiving our "flowers" while we're here, and the three things she believes are absolutely essential to any ItGirl.
See our ItGirl 100 list in full here. Click through the gallery below for some BTS moments of DonYé and our partnership with Hyundai.
CREDITS
Director: Mikkoh @mikkoh
Production Company: @30inthemorning
AD/Gimbal Op: @jeffreyrattanong
DP: @jucelandrin_
Editor: @30inthemorning
1st AC: Bonnie Delgado @bonniebellevue
2nd AC: Liz Robles @lizfatimarobles
FPV Drone Op: Kai Kevin Goh @kaivertigoh
Gaffer: Nelson Nguyen @nelson_ftw
Key Grip: Ames Hoang @mangothemaker
SLT: Jamon Tolbert @jamon.tolbert
Sound Mixer: Deyo Forteza @introducingdeyo
PA: Breyona Holt @exquisite_eye
PA: Aminah Muhammad @aminahmuhamm
BTS: Marika Belamarich @marikarosegold
Featured image by Marika Belamarich for xoNecole