Nia Long On Her Final Decision To Leave Ime Udoka: 'Loving Myself Was Bigger And More Important Than Saving Anybody'
Jeezy has been pulling out all the stops for the promo of his new album I Might Forgive…But I Don’t Forget. The iconic rapper tapped legendary actress Nia Long for an intimate conversation about love, trauma, and the Black family. The discussion provided insight into the “All There” rapper’s childhood, strained relationship with his mother, who has since passed, and his career mishaps. He also briefly spoke on his decision to file for divorce from Jeannie Mai, saying that he feels “saddened,” “disappointed,” and “uneasy” about it. However, he believes that God is leading him on a different path.
Throughout the conversation, Nia also opened up about her life experiences, including her relationship with her father, her sons, and her ex-fiancé Houston Rockets coach Ime Udoka.
“You know I had a really public breakup recently. It was a wake-up call for me in the sense that, like ok, you’re gonna do this on your own, and you’re gonna be fine, and you’re not gonna worry about what anyone thinks and has to say ‘cause the relationship was rocky for a very long time,” she said. “I don’t believe that another person can break anyone up like, I just don’t buy that.
When Ime was the Boston Celtics head coach, he was caught having an affair with a staffer and was suspended for the 2022-2023 season. This suspension ultimately led to his firing. However, the cheating scandal led to the public rallying behind The Best Man actress, which the mother of two revealed she was “shocked” by.
“I had to realize for myself that anything that happened in the…last year and a half of my life, that shit didn’t have nothing to do with me,” she expressed. “It didn’t have nothing to do with me. I was not embarrassed. The way that Black people stood up for me and the way that Black women were like, ‘Oh no, you don’t do that to her,’ I was shocked because I didn’t realize that what I had done or what I’ve done in my career had so much impact.”
While she did admit that things between her and Ime had been “rocky” for a long time, she was trying her best to make things work. But she soon learned that choosing herself was the best option. “I think my older son saw me trying to keep the family together, but I had to come to a place where loving myself was bigger and more important than saving anybody.”
While time has passed and both parties have seemed to move on with their lives, we all have our down days. Jeezy checked in with Nia to see how she’s truly feeling since the breakup and the scandal that followed. “I think I’m exactly where I need to be, which is some days I’m like totally good, and other days I’m like, oh God, this feels like so much work. And other days, it feels like women shouldn’t have to be this strong,” she said, tearing up. “I don’t want to be this strong sometimes.”
The former couple were together for 13 years and share a 12-year-old son together. Nia also has a 22-year-old son from a previous relationship.
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London Alexaundria is the contributing editor for xoNecole. She is an alum of Clark Atlanta University, where she majored in Mass Media Arts and has worked in journalism for over ten years. You can follow her on Instagram and TikTok @theselfcarewriter
This Black Woman-Owned Creative Agency Shows Us The Art Of Rebranding
Rebranding is an intricate process and very important to the success of businesses that want to change. However, before a business owner makes this decision, they should determine whether it's a rebrand or an evolution.
That's where people like Lola Adewuya come in. Lola is the founder and CEO of The Brand Doula, a brand development studio with a multidisciplinary approach to branding, social media, marketing, and design.
While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
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The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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Shanice Wilson's Powerful Testimony Of Healing, Faith, And Family After Double Mastectomy
Shanice Wilson is delivering a powerful message following her recovery from a double mastectomy.
The Grammy-nominated singer took to Instagram on Sunday, Sept. 8, to reveal her breast cancer diagnosis. In a series of video clips documenting her journey, Shanice shared a vulnerable caption, sharing with the world that she had undergone a double mastectomy three months before and though she "wasn't ready to talk about it then," she is now.
"God is a healer," she starts her caption before eventually revealing, "I had a stage one one centimeter tumor in my breast.. Thank God I found it early." She continues, writing, "I wasn’t ready to talk about it then but I’m strong enough to talk about it now.. Please everyone get checked."
"This is the hardest thing I've ever had to face in my life," she could be heard saying in a video clip she shared of her moments before her surgery. "But I know God is with me and everything is going to go well."
In another clip, the 51-year-old admitted that she was avoiding some of the preventive measures for breast cancer, like mammograms and ultrasounds regularly because she was "afraid." However, she "felt something" in her breasts one day and went to the doctor. After having a mammogram done, they discovered that she had DCIS in her milk ducts.
DCIS, ductal carcinoma in situ, is a non-invasive form of breast cancer that starts in the milk ducts. In these instances, some of the cells of the lining of these milk ducts have become cancerous cells. The cancerous cells could develop into invasive breast cancer if it isn't treated. As an early form of breast cancer, it can typically be treated and cured with early detection, like mammograms.
According to an article by the National Institutes of Health, though a mastectomy is considered to be the most invasive surgical treatment for patients with DCIS, "it remains the gold standard for long-term locoregional control." This means a reduced rate of DCIS recurrence.
In her own journey, Shanice shared in one of her video clips that when she found out a mastectomy was her treatment plan for the DCIS in her left breast, "she couldn't understand why" the whole breast needed to be removed, especially if the cancer was in stage 0.
After getting a second opinion, she took the doctor's advice to move forward with the surgery and elected to remove both breasts in a double mastectomy. "Since you're going to remove one, you might as well remove both because I want them both to be the same, and I don't want anything popping up later in the other breast," she said in her video.
Shanice also revealed that after they removed her breasts, they retested the ducts and learned that the cancer was actually in stage 1.
Healing is a community effort and Shanice made it clear that she could not have made it through her recovery without her faith and the help of the people around her. In addition to God, she thanked her herbalist, her doctor, her "prayer warriors," family, and friends for their support.
She also thanked her husband of 24 years, actor Flex Alexander, writing, "Thank you @flexaforeal for helping me get through the hardest time of my life.. You helped me every day with my drains and cooked all my meals.. I love you.."
Stay on top of your breast health through regular self-exams, eating well, staying active, knowing your family history through genetic testing, managing stress, quitting smoking, and if you're over 40, scheduling your routine mammograms.
"I am healed and restored in Jesus name," she adds in her caption. Amen.
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