Here’s How Publicist Kiki Ayers Juggles A Pregnancy And Her Six-Figure PR Agency
In xoNecole's Finding Balance, we profile boss women making boss moves in the world and in their respective industries. We talk to them about their business, their life, and most of all, what they do to find balance in their busy lives.
The first time I learned about Kiki Ayers, it was through stumbling onto her PR business Instagram account, Ayers Publicity. I found myself in this rabbit hole of research, and as I continued to read up on the brainchild of what I saw to be a successful agency, I realized that what was actually gravitating me to her was her undeniable hustle and drive — something I know firsthand can't be taught or sold, you just have to have it.
Ayers comes from a life that few have had to see up close — at 16 years old, she was homeless and living in the car with her mother and two siblings. She attended Howard University (heeey, Bison fam!) and immediately began breaking barriers, becoming a first-generation college student in her family. She's worked at some of the biggest production houses you can name, but it wasn't until she was sitting on the floor of a hotel bathroom, unraveling after leaving her job and becoming homeless as an adult, that the solution was right here: Start her own agency.
Though it wasn't easy, Ayers has shown us ALL that purpose and perfection don't always align, but that you have to take a step out on faith to ever see if you really have it in you. Her story is one that hits so close to home, that I am honored to have done this interview.
In this installment of Finding Balance, Ayers talked with xoNecole and dished on life, love, how she juggles it with a six-figure business set to hit seven marks by 2021.
What is an average day or week like for you?
As a publicist and entrepreneur, every day is completely different. One day, I might be on a press run with a client in a different city. The next, I might be on the red carpet for another client. One day, I'm pitching my clients for hours and not hearing anything back, and the next day, there's 10 articles dropping that day on different clients. A lot of times, I have to adjust my schedule based on my clients. They may have a song they worked on that had to drop early because it was leaked, or I have to fly into a city last minute to pull together a press run for them. They come first — eventually you learn to adjust, take on the challenge, and at the end of the day, deliver the results.
What do you find to be the most hectic part of your week? How do you push through?
The most hectic part of my week is typically Monday through Thursday. People get back in the office Monday, and the pitches are coming out from myself and my team nonstop. We're always writing different pitches for different publications, working with multiple schedules, and of course, different personalities. It's hard to get everyone's schedule to align and harder to get people to agree to write about your client. There's the hectic part of dealing with current clients but also handling new clients and making sure they get their roll out plans, invoices, and PR agreements handled. So there's the balance of making sure current clients get the best PR experience and more than their money's worth while also making sure you continue to expand and grow your company by bringing in new clients.
How do you practice self-care? What is your self-care routine?
I practice self-care by watching what I put in my body. I'm not a super clean eater, but there's a lot of things I don't eat to remain feeling clean and better. I had a bad habit of not eating nearly as much as I should have everyday, as well as not eating the rest of my food, but I'm currently pregnant so I'm always making time to put my baby first and feed him. I make sure to eat as soon as I wake up, pack snacks for the day, take all my prenatal vitamins and iron pills, etc. I also make sure to wash my face at least twice a day and workout as much as I can.
How do you find balance with:
Friends?
With friends, it's not too hard to find balance. I definitely wish I had more time to spend with my friends, but most of my friends are successful entrepreneurs, so it's great to be surrounded by supportive friends who know what it means to be busy as well as understanding that they can't always see you and vice versa. We all have to work, and as entrepreneurs, we don't get to take days or just weekends off. Having that support system is amazing as well as motivating. I love that I have people around me that inspire me to do better, but I do need to get out a little more. I'm still learning but I'm progressively getting better.
Love/Relationships?
Love and relationships are so complicated. Prior to my current situation, I hadn't been on a date in five years. I just think dates are awkward and I'd rather pay for my own food than to use someone for a free meal. I think a relationship can be balanced and it's not as hard as people make it, just as long as both people are working and making it a priority. It's important to find time to get to know people because you're always learning about the other person.
If a person can constantly make time for their friends and roommates and to go out and to travel but can't put aside a couple hours a week for you for at least one date night, then that's probably not a situation you want to be in. I've also had cases where I dated people who have endless time to try to discuss their business ventures with me but nothing outside of that. That's definitely a situation where someone is trying to use you and you should exit stage left immediately. Right now, my love life is nonexistent. I'm just focused on building with this beautiful blessing that's growing inside of me.
Dating/Marriage/Kids?
I don't have any kids yet but my first born will be here in December (this month). I'm beyond excited to be carrying a beautiful baby boy. A lot of people doubted me when I first announced I was pregnant. Women, especially Black women, are looked upon in a negative light when they announce they're pregnant, and people have a way of making you feel like your biggest blessing is a mistake. These same people didn't understand or believe in me when I left corporate, when I got into reporting, or when I started my own PR Firm, but being pregnant was the best thing that happened to me. It forced me to grow up in ways I didn't even know I needed to. My business is making 5x as much as before, I have much better clients, and I'm launching my second company.
The way I plan on balancing everything once he's here is by incorporating him into everything I do. I am fortunate to be in a position where my work will allow me to be with my son majority of the time. He's going to be my business partner and co-founder of my next company and I'm more excited than anything to set him up financially, teach him about business at an early age, and create generational wealth. I have so many ideas and plans that I just can't wait to unfold.
"Women, especially Black women, are looked upon in a negative light when they announce they're pregnant, and people have a way of making you feel like your biggest blessing is a mistake."
How important is it to you to exercise and how many times a week? What is your routine?
I hired an in-home trainer to help me prepare for the delivery. I have to give myself at least six weeks after birth to heal, so as soon as that time is up, I'll start back up with my trainer. I currently work out three times a week. I just have to get up extra early in order to fit it in my schedule. I usually work out from 6-7 am at the gym in my building with the trainer. Right now, I'm doing pilates-type workouts.
Do you cook or find yourself eating out?
I used to eat out a lot because I'm always on the go, but I recently moved into a beautiful spot and absolutely love my kitchen so I cook all the time. I meal prep for the week, and being a really hungry pregnant lady, I always take my cooked meals and snacks in my purse with me.
When you are going through a bout of uncertainty, or feeling stuck, how do you handle it?
At first, I take a few hours to process how I feel but I don't ever dwell on it. When I feel like that, it motivates me even more to go back to the drawing board, regroup, and try again. I can't ever just give up though. I don't know how to do that. I get more creative in those situations.
What does success mean to you?
Success to me means being in a position to not only help yourself but to help the people around you. A lot of times I see successful people who are rich but the people on their teams are struggling just to eat. That's not the definition of a boss to me. You have to take care of the people who are taking care of you. I would love to have a huge platform and to be in the position to help and motivate people. That means speaking out, challenging people, and being honest with the people that look up to you rather than putting on a show for the 'gram or portraying a fake image.
"A lot of times, I see successful people who are rich but the people on their teams are struggling to eat. That's not the definition of a boss to me."
For more of KiKi, follow her on Instagram. And check out past women we've featured on Finding Balance women by clicking here.
Featured image by Jen J Photo.
- THE FOUNDER ›
- Ke'Andrea "Kiki" Ayers - Founder - Ayers Publicity, LLC | LinkedIn ›
- Kiki Ayers• (@kikiayers) • Instagram photos and videos ›
- HerSource: Kiki Ayers Reveals How Mixed Blessings Shaped Her ... ›
- How a Formerly Homeless L.A. Publicist Uses Her Network to ... ›
- The Journey of Kiki Ayers: From Homelessness to Success - YouTube ›
- Kiki Ayers is a powerhouse in media and entertainment - Rolling Out ›
- From Homeless To Celebrity PR Agent In Just Two Years ›
This Is How To Keep 'Holiday Season Stress' From Infecting Your Relationship
Hmph. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like there is something really weird happening in the fall season air (because winter doesn’t officially begin until December 21) that cuddle season is in full swing while break-up season is as well. In fact, did you know that break-ups are so popular during the holiday season that December 11 is deemed Break-Up Day?
The reasons why relationships shift around this time vary; however, I did both roll my eyes and chuckle when I read that a very popular one is because it’s an easy way to get out of getting one’s significant other a Christmas present. SMDH.
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
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Unmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
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Okay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
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If off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
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A friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
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It’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
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I once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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Featured image by Shutterstock
Dreaming Of A White Christmas? These 7 Winter Wonderland Destinations Are Perfect For The Holidays
While most people opt for a tropical vacation during the winter months, there are still many people who want to fulfill their winter wonderland fantasies, which are more than likely centered on watching snow by the fireplace while sipping some hot cocoa.
With Thanksgiving vastly approaching and Christmas a little under a month away, there is still time to ditch the traditional Christmas home to visit family or friends.
Whether you’re looking to put a new stamp on your passport and keep things domestic with a destination in the States, xoNecole has you covered with a few hotspots for those itching to go somewhere cold (but with cozy vibes) this holiday season.
Aspen, Colorado
Our Christmas queen, Mariah Carey, has been taking an annual trip to this snowy destination since 1997, just three years after dropping the track that would make her the unofficial (but official to us) ambassador of the winter holiday.
Aside from being a key vacation spot for one of the culture’s greatest musicians, Aspen also offers travelers access to world-class skiing and snowboarding and four distinct mountains that provide the perfect backdrop for a winter vacation.
Whistler, British Columbia, Canada
Home to the largest ski resort in North America, Whistler Blackcomb, this destination is located in the Coast Mountain Range and is about 75 miles north of Vancouver.
From luxury spas like Scandinave Spa Whistler to Olympic Park, this is another top winter vacation spot that offers a unique experience for people who love snow and the thrill of a good adventure.
Western Massachusetts
Dubbed the place for a magical holiday escape, Springfield, Massachusetts, blends the warmth of small-town charm with unforgettable experiences like Grinchmas at Springfield Museums, Winterlights at Naumkeag in Stockbridge, Historic Deerfield’s Winter Frolic, and many others.
This destination offers something for all ages, and it’s close to home, making it all the more reason to place on your radar for a winter getaway.
Rovaniemi, Finland
If you want to really get into the Christmas spirit, this just may be the place for you. As the official home to Saint Nick himself, Rovaniemi, Finland offers reindeer sleigh rides, the opportunity to stay in a glass igloo, as well as an opportunity to experience the Santa Claus Village.
Lake Tahoe, California/Nevada
Who says that visits to the lake house are only reserved for summer vacation? A winter trip to Lake Tahoe is equipped with stunning lake views and top-notch ski resorts, including Heavenly and Northstar.
Chamonix, France
Sitting at the base of Mont Blanc, Chamonix, France, is known for its skiing and mountaineering. This destination is home to the Aiguille du Midi cable car, the charming Alpine village, and is also close to various other European ski destinations.
Northeastern Pennsylvania
This area of the U.S. state is home to the Poconos Mountains, whose renowned ski resorts include Camelback Mountain, Blue Mountain, and Jack Frost Big Boulder. Whether you’re a ski expert, a beginner, or just there for the vibes, this destination makes for a winter vacation that balances fun adventures and cozy getaways. Additionally, Pennsylvania is home to the Christmas Tree Capital of the world.
Feature image by Shutterstock
Originally published on November 23, 2024







