Cooking Was This Boss Woman's Saving Grace From Depression
Kachelle Kelly is more than an accomplished author.
In fact, she holds titles like business and empowerment coach, motivational speaker, strategic project planner because of her undying dedication to inspire men and women to utilize social media, productivity, and lifestyle applications. The ultimate goal is to achieve more balance, be more productive, and grow their business.
With mantras like "Activate Your Hustle," Kelly realizes that going after your dreams and visions by eliminating distractions requires sacrifices. Kelly is a believer that you can win at life. That includes having a thriving career and cooking some bomb meals. You just have to find your sweet spot.
We had the chance to chat with this boss babe. Check out some of the inspiration and tips she shared.
You have relationships with major brands like Moet & Chandon, Dr. Pepper, Weight Watchers and Proctor & Gamble. What do you believe the key is to sustaining these relationships?
When I worked with those brands, it was not only important to understand their values and goals, but also be innovative in creating initiatives throughout their demographics. Not being afraid to pitch fresh ideas, think outside the box and ultimately recognized by senior management. While I no longer work with these companies, I'm proud of the marks I left in my tenure.
August 25th has been declared Kachelle Kelly Pray Day in your hometown of Houston, Texas. How does this make you feel?
Humbling but proud. Boss Women Pray and Boss Men Pray, my prayer guides for entrepreneurs, was a God idea that I obeyed. Selling over 16,000 copies as a self-published author, from my own marketing efforts, no team or PR, it was a labor of love. And to be recognized at home for my contribution in pioneering the thought of incorporating faith and business is an incredible legacy building feeling.
Your first book, Pretty Painful, was all about the beauty found within. How did you come to write this literary work?
I was watching Oprah a few times when she interviewed Halle Berry, Vanessa Williams, and Janet Jackson. All three [women] began to talk about the personal pain in their lives and Oprah's response was the stereotypical thinking of so many, "But you are the most beautiful talent, Miss America and from the most famous family?" And my friends and I experienced the same on a smaller scale, of course. People not seeing past our looks into the incredible pain we dealt with. Being prejudged and measured by everything from our outer appearance, success, clothes, etc. and if not checked, living with a sense of entitlement. While I wrote that book in 2004, it is more prevalent today with social media.
So many "pretty" women clearing [and] navigating through some "Pretty Painful" stuff, dying on the inside! But the difference is, they are voluntarily associating their looks and material possessions to their self-worth and demeaning other women in the process. Pretty Painful was and is necessary to help women to do away with these masks and deal with issues no one sees behind the beauty. I answer the question, "Can Looks Really Kill?" And sadly, the answer is "yes." Only if you allow them, by suppressing who and WHOSE you are in God.
Do you think Pretty Painful is linked to Boss Women Cook?
I never really thought about that but yes. Boss Women Cook was my saving grace from depression and my need to decompress from anxiety through a controlled hobby. When I felt like nothing was going right with work, life or love, I perfected a recipe to feel better. It also debunks the stereotype that busy and/or "pretty" women don't cook! Helping women return to basic qualities deemed beneath them and nurturing family rather than on this constant race of being a "boss" to prove our worth.
Why is Boss Women Cook so important right now?
To my earlier point, cooking can serve as a therapeutic for busy women and men. Also, we have replaced a sense of family values and legacy with being a boss and materialism. Back in the day, it was a joy to watch your grandmother, mother, and aunts cook while bringing the family together. We've lost that over the years. Somehow, we have adopted the idea we have to choose between being domestic and being boss, we can be both.
"Somehow we have adopted the idea we have to choose between being domestic and being boss, we can be both."
What sets BWC apart from other cooking books?
It is geared towards the busy woman that would like to learn to cook, return to cooking, or adopt the value of family while continuing to be a boss. It features recipes and stories that helped me through my toughest times. I'm not a chef so I provide the basic steps from the perspective of a novice cook. I offer my personal cooking playlist on BossWomenCook.com, encouraging women to grab a glass of wine, jam to the music, and cook at the end of the day. The tone of the cookbook is relaxed and eliminates the pressure to be perfect because, while delicious, my cooking certainly is not.
To keep up with Kachelle Kelly, follow her on Instagram. Find Boss Women Cook as well as other books she's penned by clicking here. Check out a couple of Kelly's favorite recipes from her cookbook below:
Blackened Tilapia With Crawfish and Shrimp Sauce
The Ingredients:
- 2 Tilapia fillets (at room temperature)
- Olive Oil
- 1 tablespoon butter
- 1/4 cup of Blackened seasoning (recipe below)
- Blackened Season recipe, equal parts:
- Paprika
- White pepper
- Black pepper
- Thyme
- Oregano
- Cayenne Pepper
- Sea Salt
- Onion Powder
- Garlic Powder
Ingredients for crawfish & shrimp sauce:
- (1 cup) peeled crawfish tails
- 1/2 cup of peeled & deveined shrimp (optional)
- 1/4 cup of season blend or diced onions & bell pepper
- 2 teaspoons of Creole Seasoning or leftover blackened seasoning
- 1/3 cup chopped green onions
- 1/2 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
- 1/2 teaspoon hot pepper sauce
- 1 cup heavy cream
- 1 tablespoon butter
- 1/2 teaspoon of minced Garlic
- Pair with long grain & wild rice
Cooking Steps:
- Season fish, cover and set aside.
- Make the sauce first. In a saucepan, drizzle olive oil and sauté season blend or onions
- Add garlic & green onions until fragrant
- Season crawfish (& shrimp) with seasoning
- Add Worcestershire sauce, hot sauce, heavy cream and butter. Bring to a light boil.
- Add crawfish and/or shrimp. Stir well, cover and reduce heat. Simmer for 10 minutes.
- Prepare wild rice in separate pot.
- Heat a cast iron skillet until smoking.
- Reduce heat and place fish in skillet with butter
- Cook for 3-4 minutes on each side (or to the wellness you prefer your fish)
- Scoop the butter from skillet onto the fish throughout the entire cooking process
- Add the remainder butter when you flip the fish.
- Remove fish directly to plate on top of a bed of wild rice and add sauce on top.
- Eat immediately. Enjoy!
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Joce Blake is a womanist who loves fashion, Beyonce and Hot Cheetos. The sophistiratchet enthusiast is based in Brooklyn, NY but has southern belle roots as she was born and raised in Memphis, TN. Keep up with her on Instagram @joce_blake and on Twitter @SaraJessicaBee.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Just When This Couple Was Ready To Delete Dating Apps, They Matched & The Rest Is History
How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
There was a time when the question, "Does he give you butterflies?” was always associated with happy feelings and positivity. But between love bombing, situationships, stories like Reesa Teesa, and the overwhelming number of bad dating stories, many millennials have become hesitant – even cautious – of feeling chemistry too early. Nevertheless, the truth remains: if intentions are genuine, there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging the spark sooner rather than later.
Frederick and Josephanie Buffington are a beautiful testament of this notion. During our discussion, they humorously walked me through how they connected, their immediate attraction, and how they’ve been able to passionately follow these feelings all the way to the altar. The couple attributes their exciting new marriage to discovering who they were individually and knowing what they desire from partnership prior to meeting. Check out their story below.
How and where did you two meet?
Frederick: Well, I’m a Southern gentleman from Arkansas. It’s not really my thing to get into dating apps and stuff like that. But after being in Atlanta for a while and talking to a friend from the area, she explained why she deals with them, and it made sense to me. So I gave it a try, and it failed about eighteen times (laughs). But when I was on the verge of hanging it up, a pretty little thing popped up on my screen.
Josephanie: I actually got on the app that day to delete it. I was like, I’m done with this, and I don’t want to do this anymore. But I saw him and was like, let’s wait a second. And he sent me a message, we matched, and the same day he called me. We ended up talking on the phone for like seven hours, and that was like it for us.
"I actually got on the app that day to delete it. I was like, I’m done with this, and I don’t want to do this anymore. But I saw him and was like, let’s wait a second. And he sent me a message, we matched, and the same day he called me. We ended up talking on the phone for like seven hours, and that was like it for us."
Were you attracted instantly, or did it develop over time?
Josephanie: No. Nah, I’m just kidding – I was always attracted to him.
Frederick: Yeah, she has always been this fine.
xovelshee/ Instagram
Walk me through the courtship. Did y'all ever have that awkward “what are we convo, and who initiated it?
Josephanie: No, we didn’t have that conversation. Because it went so fast, after date three, we decided we were doing this.
Frederick: By then we had talked about life goals and everything enough that we realized if we went different ways, we would be stupid.
And what made you want to commit to a relationship with one another? How did you know it was special?
Josephanie: Because it went so fast. It was like a whirlwind, and usually, I steer clear of those. But this was fun, intense, and energy-filled. So I was like, let’s just ride this wave and see where it takes us.
Frederick: Yeah, and we ended up here. I’m really picky about everything. For me, it was like 2-3 weeks in when I realized she wasn’t getting on my nerves, so I knew it was something there. It sounds funny, but I’m serious. Like, I used to get to a point in dating where I’d start thinking a woman breathed funny or just something random would turn me off. This was different. I was just enjoying it. And still, no matter who I’m in the presence of or who approaches me, I just don’t see anything trumping this.
"It was like a whirlwind, and usually, I steer clear of those. But this was fun, intense, and energy-filled. So I was like, let’s just ride this wave and see where it takes us."
xovelshee/ Instagram
Speaking of time, what do you do to keep the relationship spicy?
Josephanie: That’s all me. (laughs)
Frederick: That’s where her career as a sex therapist comes in. (laughs).
I love that approach. I’m curious what did you two learn in your single season?
Josephanie: I got to know myself and put emphasis on my intrinsic value. It’s not about 'what I’m bringing to the table.' It’s about who I am as an individual, and what my value is, and where my value lies. That’s not about what I’m doing but who I am.
Frederick: Yeah, I figured out who I was before I got with her, too. Outside of social media and what your friends/family think, it’s important to figure out what you like because, ultimately, you’re going to have to live with that decision. So know who you are and let them know who you are. During my single season, I took the time to really know myself and I focused on what I like. Again, I’m picky. So, I had to figure out what I really liked before I drove someone else crazy. And then she was patient with me, so I ended up making a good choice (laughs).
xovelshee/ Instagram
What was the biggest challenge that you had to overcome together?
Josephanie: I recently had surgery. So, I had 64 fibroids, a major abdominal myomectomy. I couldn’t do anything for myself, and he was there 24/7. I was in the hospital for 5 to 6 days, and he slept on the floor the whole time.
Fredrick: And those floor mats were not there for everybody. Her mother was there too – shoutout to her mother. That was definitely something very challenging that we got through together.
Finally, what’s your favorite thing about each other?
Frederick: Her booty. No, I’m just playing. I’ll give it to you in order: her confidence, intelligence, humor, and then the booty and smile.
Josephanie: My favorite thing about him is that he is the epitome of Black boy joy. He’s always laughing, he’s always smiling. There’s always jokes. His personality radiates. You can’t help but want to be in his presence.
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Feature image by T Fash Images