JAY-Z once said, "You can't heal what you never reveal," and this a truth that many people choose to avoid.
Opening up about our past traumas may feel like rubbing salt in an open wound. The reality is, if we aren't willing to take a deep, hard look at ourselves and all the things--particularly the bad--that have contributed to the people we are today, we will continue to internalize these things to our own detriment. Oftentimes, it's easiest to just start and stop with ourselves: trying to move past the things that happened to us growing up, learning to forgive others for the things they've done to us, or learning to simply forgive ourselves for our own wrongdoings, etc.
But how often are we willing to take a look at the generational traumas that have been passed down to us through no fault of our own?
Iyanla: Fix My Life/OWN
People speak of generational curses and generational trauma in an almost flippant way, but according to research, the effects of one's own life can actually be passed down through DNA. Essentially, trauma is being passed down to future generations through more than just simply learned behaviors. That's why it is important that we address not only our own personal scars, but that we also take a deep dive into our family and ancestral history to have a better understanding of our own behavioral patterns.
Motivational speaker and life coach Iyanla Vanzant has been the go-to support system for many people and families through her series Iyanla: Fix My Life. Now in its eighth season, the OWN Network series tackles one of the biggest hurdles faced in our community today: fighting the stigma of mental health. While the show has provided ample commentary and even some funny memes, the real value the show provides is that it continues to shine a light on the need to address mental health, addiction, and generational traumas that permeate our community.
"Sometimes as women, we really don't understand the importance of our culture, our environment, our ecology. What's coming down the line has been in this family. You all are acting it out the way you know how to act out." -- Iyanla Vanzant
Iyanla: Fix My Life/OWN
On the next episode, Iyanla sits down with Malorie and Cynthia Bailey of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Malorie is still reeling from the breakdown of her marriage and its pending divorce after 12 years. Not only does Malorie feel she's been living in her sister's shadow, the 49-year-old also reveals that her marriage was abusive and her self-esteem and self-identity is in a full-blown crisis. The perception that she is just "Cynthia's sister" is only making matters worse.
"And we'll do what's familiar and comfortable rather than try the unknown… Because the tree don't grow from the leaf to the root. It grows from the root to the leaf."
In this exclusive clip from the episode entitled "Broken Reality", Iyanla sits down with Malorie, Cynthia, their mother, and Malorie's daughter to get down to the root of the dysfunction. It is revealed that the abuse has been passed on from generation to generation, and that it is up to the family to reveal the truth of their past in order to break the cycle threatening to affect Malorie's young daughter as well.
When we are ready to address the generational traumas that continue to hold us back, then and only then can we begin to untie the knots that tangle up our healing. There is no shame in seeking outside, neutral counsel in order for us to process the inevitable emotions that will come once we open up about our wounds.
Mental health issues should not be covered up or swept to the side: when we refuse to take real, measurable steps to address what's going on internally, we are also hiding from ourselves and the world our truest potential.
Iyanla: Fix My Life, Episode: Broken Reality: Malorie & Cynthia Bailey airs on Saturday, September 29 (9 p.m. – 10 p.m. ET/PT) on OWN.
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These days, it's for a completely different purpose, though. Now that I am in the hopefully latter stages of perimenopause (I’m not sure because my mother had a full hysterectomy at 29, her mother died at 53 and I don’t deal with my paternal grandmother because…chile… ) — although I have always had relatively easy cycles and I could definitely set my watch to them, about two years ago, my periods started to show up whenever they felt like it and it was damn near a crime scene once they did.
It was driving me crazy, and so, my nurse practitioner recommended that I take progestin-only pills to shorten, if not completely stop, my cycle: “After a year or so, we can wean off and see if you are entering into menopause on your own.” (Whew, perimenopause, chile.)
Although the first five months of being on this particular pill made me wonder if it was worth it to take this approach, I actually re-upped for another 12-month cycle because the extra progestin (a synthetic form of progesterone) has benefitted me in other areas as well because I am sleeping more soundly and my weight is more stabilized (by the way, when these things are “off,” they are signs of low progesterone levels). However, I did ask my nurse practitioner if, once I do decide to wean off of the pill, would there be any issues.
Her response is what inspired me to write this article because, until she said “post-birth control syndrome” to me, I had no idea there was such a thing. Anyway, if you give me a sec, I’ll explain to you what it is and why you should care if hormone-related birth control is currently a part of your life.
Yes, Post-Birth Control Syndrome Is a Very Real Thing
GiphyOkay, so it’s important to always remember that the way that birth control works is it “manipulates” your hormones so that you can significantly reduce your chances of conceiving. This means that taking them could result in some side effects including nausea; weight gain; headaches; irregular periods and/or spotting; increased stress; depression; blurry vision; breast tenderness, and/or a lowered libido.
That said, even though birth control pills are basically 99 percent effective (when taken correctly and consistently), if the side effects that you are experiencing are making you close to miserable, you should absolutely share that with your healthcare provider because…what’s the sense in preventing pregnancy when you don’t even feel up to having sex because you don’t feel good or your sex drive is shot? More times than not, your provider can find you another pill brand or option that will help you to feel more like yourself.
With that out of the way, think about it — if going on the pill can produce side effects, why would going off of it…not? And this is where post-birth control syndrome comes in.
For the most part, it’s what can happen to your body once you decide to come off of birth control. Typically, the symptoms will last anywhere between 4-6 months and, although the symptoms seem to present themselves most intensely as it relates to going off of the pill, any hormone-related birth control (like IUDs, injections, patches, the ring or implants) could produce similar outcomes.
Outcomes like what?
- Irregular cycles
- Breakouts
- Excessive gas and/or bloating
- Weight gain
- Anxiety and/or depression
- Fertility issues
- Migraines and/or headaches
- Shifts in your libido
- Sleeplessness/restlessness
- Hair loss
Whoa, right? And if a part of you is wondering, “Okay, if this is indeed the case, why have I not heard of this syndrome before?” It’s because it’s not a term that conventional method uses nearly as much as alternative medicine does. Still, it makes all of the sense in the world that if your body has to adjust to an uptick in hormonal intake, it would also need to adjust to removing those extra doses of hormones from your system as well. COMMON. DAMN. SENSE.
Anyway, if you were thinking about taking a break from birth control and taking all of this in has you feeling a bit…let’s go with the word “trepidatious” about doing so, I totally get it. There are some things that you can do to make experiencing post-birth control syndrome either a non-issue or a far more bearable one, though.
7 Home Remedies That Can Make Coping with Post-Birth Control Syndrome Easier
Giphy1. Take a multivitamin.Something that’s fascinating about what going off of birth control can do is it sometimes has the ability to lower your nutrition levels as it relates to certain vitamins and minerals; this is especially the case when it comes to vitamins B, C, E and minerals like magnesium, selenium and zinc. So, if you don’t currently take a multivitamin, now would be the time to start (along with consuming foods that are particularly high in those nutrients as well).
2. Up your vitamin D intake. Speaking of nutrient levels, a vitamin level that commonly drops after going off of birth control isvitamin D. This is hella critical to keep in mind as a Black woman since many of us tend to be naturally deficient in the vitamin as-is and vitamin D is important when it comes to fighting off diseases, regulating weight and keeping your moods stabilized (for starters). So, make sure that your multivitamin has vitamin D in it. Also make sure to consume vitamin D-enriched foods like fatty fish, eggs, mushrooms, yogurt and fortified orange juice.
3. Drink herbal teas. Since going off of birth control will cause your hormones to be all over the place for a season, consider drinking some herbal teas that will help to stabilize them. Black cohosh contains phytoestrogen properties, Chasteberry can help to level out your prolactin levels and green tea can help your hormones out by helping to balance out your insulin (which can sometimes directly affect them).
4. Keep some ibuprofen nearby. The headaches and migraines? Until those subside, you and ibuprofen are probably going to become really good friends; although I will add that ginger tea and inhaling essential oils like chamomile and lavender can help to ease migraine-related symptoms too.
5. Do some meditating. Waiting for your hormones to get back on track can be stressful as all get out. That said, something that can get your cortisol (stress hormone) levels to chill out is to meditate. If meditation is new for you, check out “7 Meditation Hacks (For People Who Can't Seem To Do It).”
6. Get massages. As if you needed an excuse to get a massage, right (check out “12 Different Massage Types. How To Know Which Is Right For You.”)? However, there is some evidence to back the fact that regular massages (somewhere around once a month) can help to lower your stress, boost your dopamine, increase blood flow and drain your lymphatic system so that you will have more energy.
7. Sleep/rest more. There is plenty of scientific research out here which says that sleep deprivation can throw your hormones out of whack — and since your hormones are already trying to stabilize themselves, you definitely need to get 6-8 hours of sleep and not feel the least bit guilty about taking naps sometimes too.
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Post-birth control syndrome may not be the most pleasant thing about getting off of birth control yet it is manageable. So, now that you know all about it, you can feel more confident about taking a birth control break (or getting off altogether) — without the surprises that can come with doing it. Give thanks.
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