
“I Don’t Live Just To Work”: Jovian Zayne On Using The Weekend For Self-Care

As a part of our Friday Nights, Saturday Mornings feature, we're talking to some of our favorite boss ladies about their weekends, their way. How do they relax, recharge and refuel? As we all know, life shouldn't be all about work. It's what we do beyond business and career that help keep us motivated and able to dominate for the week ahead.
Meet Jovian Zayne - an international speaker, coach, and founder of the OnPurpose Movement®. Here Jovian reflects on why self-care is so important and why taking time to fill ourselves up will allow for blessings to overflow in other areas of our lives.
This is what she had to say about her weekend, her way.
The perfect Friday Night:
"I see why growing up, my mama would tell me to just go take a nap somewhere. At the end of a long week, that's all I want! I believe naps, a good meal and some prayer can truly change things! It's also my belief that my greatest act of self-care is honoring the purpose over my life so I consider self-care to be any act that I can do to edify my spirit, mind, body and soul.
"I use the Self-Journal as a great tool to reflect on lessons learned, and progress I've made for the week. On any given Friday night, you can catch me cuddled up with my husband for our weekly date night (We - don't - miss - it!) eating at a new restaurant, watching a movie or falling down a YouTube rabbit hole."
Courtesy of Jovian Zayne
"My greatest act of self-care is honoring the purpose over my life so I consider self-care to be any act that I can do to edify my spirit, mind, body and soul."
How she powers up on Saturday Mornings:
"As my friend, fellow wife and entrepreneur Desiree has said, 'The ministry of home is REAL.' I try to hold my weekends sacred, doing little to NO work and prioritizing activities that keep my house in order, my marriage front and center and my spirit relaxed. I know that I can't give what I don't have, so I use my weekends as my time to replenish for the week ahead. I sometimes think about them as mini vacations and live by the 'Must Do vs. Nice to Do' rule.
"If it's not a 'Jovian, you absolutely have to do this' type of thing, it'll have to wait until next week. I want my Saturdays to feel fun and unbothered by the agenda I follow during the week. If it keeps me energized and moving towards my best, then I'm doing it on a Saturday. If it's wearing me out, I'm not. This mindset helps me prioritize important things like taking a nap, hitting the gym and [spending] quality time with family and friends."
Courtesy of Jovian Zayne
"I try to hold my weekends sacred, doing little to NO work and prioritizing activities that keep my house in order, my marriage front and center and my spirit relaxed. I know that I can't give what I don't have, so I use my weekends as my time to replenish for the week ahead."
The ideal Girls' Night:
"I LOVE MY GIRLS! With us being spread out all over the world, we love a good group FaceTime and are constantly talking on group texts and GroupMe. We share weekly wins every Wednesday aka 'WINSday' and prayer requests. My recipe for a great girls night: comfortable ambiance, good food, wine and intimate conversation.
"We'll celebrate any and everything together: promotions, new haircuts, cheekbones and breakups. For people looking for fun ways to spend quality time with their girls, I suggest inexpensive trips to new places in the US, watch parties at someone's house, themed dinners, brunch parties and worship circles."
Courtesy of Jovian Zayne
"My recipe for a great girls night: comfortable ambiance, good food, wine and intimate conversation."
How recharging helped her business:
"I've been reminded that I work to live the full life I want to experience. I don't live just to work. My life is only as full as my commitment to honor the purpose I see God has put on my life. I know that my purpose extends far beyond my career. I'm grateful that I love my work. I see direct connection to my purpose in my current career, but I also recognize that spending time with my family and friends, developing new healthy habits and exploring the world are a part of how I can honor God with the life that I have.
"It's important to remember that you can't give what you don't have. In order to give my best to my business, I must give my best to other areas of my life. That ultimately allows me to show up more present and connected in my business. I've learned from my mentors, sages and older guides that this mindset is critical to owning and living my definition of success."
Connect with Jovian on Instagram @jovianzayne.
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Rana Campbell is a Princeton University graduate, storyteller, content marketing strategist, and the founder and host of Dreams In Drive - a weekly podcast that teaches you how to take your dreams from PARK to DRIVE. She loves teaching others how to use their life stories to inspire action within oneself and others. Connect with her on Instagram @rainshineluv or @dreamsindrive.
Your Guide To Letting Go Of What No Longer Serves You Based On Astrology
Letting go is a gift we are given and a strength that we find throughout our lives. There are times when we want to grab ahold of what we are experiencing and sensing, and times when we need to let go of something that was once everything to us or what we wanted for ourselves. The moment you conclude that you need to let something go in your life is the moment that your brain fights to make that happen for you.
In Astrology, there is an area of your birth chart that is designed for you to understand where you will be letting go a lot in this lifetime, and exactly how to do so. We dive through the birth chart as we seek a deeper understanding of ourselves and let go of what no longer serves us, and there are tools available to help us do so. If you don't know where your South Node is in your birth chart, you can use a free calculator like this one here.
What Does Your South Node Represent in Astrology?
When it comes to what we are destined to let go of or move away from in this lifetime, we look to the South Node. The South Node is the area of your birth chart that has to do with your past lives, karma, lessons, old habits and traits, gifts, and energy you are moving away from in this lifetime.
Your South Node is opposite your North Node, which is your destiny and the energy you want to move towards.
We can learn a lot from our South Node and it’s an area of our life where we tend to gain the most wisdom. By understanding why some patterns in your life tend to play out in the same ways, you can be more conscious of the choices you make in the now and let go of who and what doesn’t serve you in the process.
South Node Insights: Letting Go
The South Node is our natural gifts and talents, but also where we don’t need to focus so much of our energy on, taking us away from where we need to be developing, which is the North Node. So when you are looking to let go of something, gain a new perspective, or feel more trusting in what you are doing right now, you can examine your South Node.
We learn from our South Node by not making the same mistakes over again, letting go of what needs to be let go of, and understanding what we need in order to create space for our new beginning.
Read below for your South Node on how to let go of what no longer serves you.
Aries South Node: Letting Go of Independence for Connection
You are used to being independent and figuring things out on your own. In this lifetime, however, you are being asked to lean on others for support when you need it. You are working on letting go of the ego and focusing more on the heart. By extending your compassion for others, you discover a part of yourself that leads you toward empowerment and allows you to let go of a false sense of safety.
You are meant to experience harmonious, fortunate, and compatible love in this lifetime, and you will do so by opening your heart to others and letting go of people who don’t support you or whom you can’t count on.
Taurus South Node: Releasing Overdependence and Superficiality
With your South Node in Taurus, you are letting go of the need to acquire by focusing on the depth and intention of what you are obtaining. Your relationships tend to have a lot to do with your financial world, and these things can get twisted and distorted if you are not being careful.
In this lifetime, you are working on letting go of what doesn’t serve you by following your heart and your intuition more and focusing more on the feeling you want for yourself rather than the things themselves. You are also working on letting go of overdependence or superficiality in relationships, by connecting with the people whom you have a deep and spiritual bond with.
Gemini South Node: Finding Freedom in Authenticity
For you, letting go means following your freedom. You are meant to do things your own way in this lifetime, and the less you can focus on how you are going to be perceived, the more you can live the life of your dreams. With a South Node in Gemini, you are moving away from the commotion of life. What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is traveling, getting out of your comfort zone, and being in new environments.
In past lives, you may have given too much of your focus on your social successes and business pursuits, and in this lifetime, you are meant to focus on the bigger picture. What helps you let go is understanding that once you do, better is available to you.
Cancer South Node: Trusting Yourself Beyond Emotional Impulses
With a South Node in Cancer, you are learning to trust yourself and your logic more than your emotional world in this lifetime. By letting go of feeling like you have to be the one to nurture and support everyone and allowing people to do that for you, you lead your destiny.
With your South Node in Cancer, you are letting go of emotional impulsiveness or making decisions irrationally before you have thought about them.
In past lives, you were led by your emotional world, and in this lifetime, you are meant to think more about your long-term goals and intentions. What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is knowing that you are more than what you can give to others.
Leo South Node: Prioritizing Community Over Recognition
In this lifetime, you are working on letting go of the need to be seen and recognized and focus more on your need for community and soul companionship. You are moving away from the “I” and moving closer to the “We.” What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is giving your focus to humanity, the progress you want to make in this lifetime, and who you want to make it with.
You are learning how to work with others and let go of the need to figure everything out yourself. The more you connect with the people who make you want to team up and form a relationship, rather than the people who make you want to be alone, the better for you.
Virgo South Node: Embracing Compassion Over Perfection
In this lifetime, you are letting go of the need to do everything yourself and to have everything all together. You can let go of what no longer serves you by thinking more with your heart than you do with your mind and by trusting this gift of yours. By focusing more on your spirituality, emotional connections, and creativity, you let go of a timid side of you that can disrupt your relationships or the bonds you make.
In past lifetimes, you were focused on perfection. In this lifetime, you are meant to focus on compassion. By surrendering more to the flow of things, you can let go of what no longer serves you while remaining open for what does.
Libra South Node: Rediscovering Your Independence
With your South Node in Libra, you are meant to experience the gifts of independence, freedom, and inner clarity in this lifetime. In the past, you may have been more dependent on the people around you and made a lot of your focus on love. However, in this lifetime, you are being reminded to not lose your identity in others. You can let go of what no longer serves you by only moving towards the things that feel authentic to you.
You are meant to feel confident, inspired, and free in your relationships, and if you don’t feel this way, then that is a sign you are around energy that doesn’t serve you. You are meant to do things your own way in this lifetime.
Scorpio South Node: Letting Go of Struggles and Embracing Ease
With your South Node in Scorpio, you have lived many lives and have experienced a lot emotionally. In this lifetime, you are learning how to trust the process more and to understand that not everything has to be difficult or trying for you. You can experience great things with ease, and you’ll know you are in the right place when things are just falling into your lap.
What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is focusing more on the things and people who make you feel safe, stable, and comfortable. Instead of always seeking the rush or the thrill, bring your attention more towards the things that ground you.
Sagittarius South Node: Building Connection Through Learning
Your South Node in Sagittarius urges you towards connection with your community and your immediate environment. In this lifetime, you are letting go of the need to be everywhere at once, rather than with the people who matter most to you. You are moving away from knowing everything and into learning everything.
By looking at life as a place where you will learn, grow, and connect, you can let go of the things that stretch you too thin or don’t serve your heart.
What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is expressing yourself more, meeting new people, and spending time on a cause or creative project that inspires you.
Capricorn South Node: Choosing Home and Foundations Over Status
In this lifetime, you are meant to put more value and effort into your personal life, home, family, and foundations in life. In past lifetimes, a lot of your focus was on your reputation, achievements, and successes, and in this lifetime, you are meant to bring your energy more to the home base, family, and stability in life.
You will know if something is right for you if you want it because it makes you feel safe and nurtured, rather than just something that looks pleasing to the eye. What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is by focusing more on your personal life rather than your public, and what you truly see for yourself here.
Aquarius South Node: Shining in Your Individuality
With an Aquarius South Node, you are meant to shine, be seen, and express yourself in this lifetime. You are letting go of the lone wolf energy you are used to, and working on taking up space. You are able to let go of what no longer serves you by being confident in yourself and the decisions you are making.
If someone doesn’t make you feel like the best thing in the entire world, then they aren’t right for you. In past lifetimes, you gave a lot of your energy to your community and the people around you, and in this lifetime, you are meant to focus on yourself and your path more. It’s all about doing what makes you feel good and trusting that you deserve to.
Pisces South Node: Honoring Logic While Embracing Intuition
Your lesson in this lifetime is that your mind is your gift. In past lives, you were very intuitive, psychic, and spiritual, and in this lifetime, you are learning to trust and honor the logical part of yourself more. You may tend to put your all into your relationships and not get the same energy back, and you are working on taking care of yourself first before you can give to another.
What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is trusting your body and the signals it gives you when you are around certain people or energy that doesn’t serve. Get organized, figure out your needs, boundaries, and wants, and get clear on who you are and what you want for yourself.
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Executive Function And The ADHD Connection: Why We Struggle To Focus
When we think about how our brain is able to manage all of the decisions and operations going through our head, we can thank one cognitive role for keeping everything running smoothly: and that’s executive function.
What Is Executive Function?
Think of executive function and self-regulation skills as mental processes that enable us to plan, focus attention, remember instructions, and juggle multiple tasks successfully.
There are three common parts to executive function:
- Working Memory: Consider this to be your mental sticky notepad to help you remember things temporarily while you're doing something, like following instructions, solving problems, or planning tasks.
- Inhibition: Think of this as the traffic cop of your brain that assists you in stopping and thinking before you act, so you can make better choices — like pressing a pause button before doing something impulsive.
- Cognitive Flexibility: This is your mental adaptable problem solver for switching gears and seeing things from all angles.
But living in our current “ADHA culture,” the self-regulation of day-to-day tasks has gotten more difficult to balance, causing a dysfunction in the brain — and I’m one to admit my own struggles in this department.
One part due to adulthood, another due to not reporting to an office setting every day — not to mention the many distractions that we navigate on a daily basis — concentration and moving from one task to the next don’t always come easy to me.
It’s almost as if my brain needs its own personal assistant to delegate the list of responsibilities in my head in order to execute them efficiently. And while I haven’t been formally diagnosed with ADHD, I knew that there had to be something more to my struggles with prioritizing my to-do list, switching from one task to another, and easily getting distracted. And in learning about executive function, I could breathe a sigh of relief when I discovered that there was an actual name to make sense of this miscue in focus and that I wasn’t the only one struggling with it.
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“I like to think of ADHD and executive function as a dynamic duo with a unique relationship between the two,” Corey Lewis, CEO and co-founder of the 1AND1 app, tells xoNecole. “As someone who has spent a lot of time around very successful people with ADHD, I've been able to gain insight into the relationship of ADHD with executive function. It's like a rollercoaster ride, with moments of brilliance and occasional challenges. ADHD can impact executive function, making it harder to stay focused, regulate impulses, and manage time effectively.”
"ADHD can impact executive function, making it harder to stay focused, regulate impulses, and manage time effectively."
For both Lewis and his co-founder, Thomas Drew, President at 1AND1, being former professional football players turned entrepreneurs, Drew and Lewis are normalizing mental health conversations through their wellness platform, 1AND1. “We designed the 1AND1 app to aid people in their journey toward becoming 1% better every day through incremental changes,” Drew shares.
Procrastination is a common challenge for those who struggle with executive function because of its direct impact on their ability to initiate and sustain focus on tasks. Due to executive function deficits, prioritizing, planning, and breaking down tedious and monotonous tasks into manageable steps can be difficult to manage, which tends to lead to feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and avoiding tasks altogether, thus resulting in procrastination.
“The key to conquering difficult or monotonous tasks is to break down big goals into small, achievable steps,” Drew explains. To work through these moments of monotony, Drew implements a color-coded system for prioritizing tasks based on urgency. “This helps to identify what needs immediate attention, what can be completed at a later time, and which tasks can be delegated,” he explains.
"The key to conquering difficult or monotonous tasks is to break down big goals into small, achievable steps."
Improving your executive function takes time, effort, and, most importantly, patience. But when you have the right strategies and celebrate small victories, you’ll start to see a boost in your productivity before you know it. And to help you and your brain on track, Lewis and Drew share their top strategies to enhance executive function.
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How To Boost Your Executive Function Skills
Establish And Stick To A Daily Routine:
“Prioritize tasks by importance and urgency, and break them down into actionable steps. Utilize visual aids like calendars, to-do lists, or digital apps to keep yourself organized.”
Gamify As Many Tasks As Possible:
“It gives us the extra dopamine that our brains lack and helps us to get into that hyper-productivity, mega-flow state that is an ADHD superpower. I regularly use our 1AND1 App, which uses AI to build repetition into my schedule.”
Practice Mindfulness And Stress Management Techniques:
“[These] enhance focus and reduce distractions. Taking care of your physical health is also very important. You can accomplish this through regular exercise, proper nutrition, and quality sleep. Small tweaks to your routine can lead to significant improvements in your executive function skills.”
Apply The OTB Strategy:
“The OTB Strategy is anchored by the time-blocking and color-coding method. First, color code your tasks using the system I mentioned previously. Then, start to time block and schedule your daily tasks based on your rules”.
“After you color code and time block, for each day, identify your 'one big thing' — which is the one big thing that, if you were to fully get that done within the day — it would make the day a success. For ADHDers, we need rewards, so even if you don’t get everything done that you wanted to in a day, you can know that you accomplished your OBT, which ultimately made the day a success.”
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Originally published July 31, 2023