
I Did Everything You’re NOT Supposed To Do On My First Solo Travel Adventure

I looked back at the hotel, once, then twice, truly questioning if I was going to abandon all of the rules I had set for myself prior to leaving for my first solo trip. I had watched Taken, received countless lectures about the dangers of solo traveling as a young single woman, was fully aware that what I was about to do could backfire in my face, and yet, here I was throwing all of my self-preservation and home-training out of the window.
"Are you coming?" he asked, opening the car door for me.
"Sure!"
Let me preface this article by explaining that I'm typically not a reckless person nor do I advocate for intentionally putting yourself in harm's way, but an overwhelming amount of the research and "do's and dont's" I received prior to leaving for my trip seemed too stringent for this particular vacation. While most "rules" were grounded in ensuring my overall safety, I did not want to travel to a mainstream, touristy location. I did not want to solely interact with the guests in the hotel. I did not want to just stay by the pool the entire trip.
Whether I was going alone or taking others with me, I was going. I wanted an adventure! And, boy, did I have one. Here are 5 solo travel rules that I broke on my first trip to Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic, that ultimately led to me having one of my favorite vacations so far:
“Stay on the premises around the resort.”
Courtesy of Lydia Lee
The funniest part about this first rule is that I actually believed I was going to stay put all weekend. Prior to my trip, I had researched the hotel spa and all of the wonderful amenities on the grounds and pictured myself relaxing and winding down from all of the craziness that is New York City.
Fast-forward one hour into my trip, I had already met someone by the pool and we were making plans to explore the Colonial Zone of Santo Domingo.
To me, the best part about solo traveling is that you have total autonomy over your free time. No more waiting for your girls to get ready. No more skipping museums because your friends don't like history. No more sharing a messy hotel room with multiple people. If you want to socialize and explore with others you can, but if you want to rest and relax by yourself, no one is stopping you.
Tip: As great as the hotels and resorts are, don't be entirely against exploring the local areas. The true culture of a city you're visiting often is not fully realized when solely staying in the hotel. If you're nervous about exploring by yourself or going with someone you recently met, try scheduling a walking, bike, or bus tour on Viator.
“Don’t leave the hotel with people you don’t know.”
Courtesy of Lydia Lee
The #1 rule I seemed to receive from most people prior to embarking on my solo trip seemed to revolve around the very real dangers of sex trafficking and date rape.
While not to be taken lightly, I met a guy from Toronto who was around my age, was in the DR on business, had a car, and also wanted to explore – all within one hour of arriving at the hotel. Conventional wisdom should have led me to decline exploring a foreign country with someone I barely knew, but for better or worse, his vibe seemed genuine. I trusted him.
Throughout the time I was there, we went onto explore the colonial ruins of the Santo Domingo, went shopping in local markets, listened to local music performances, and later drove an hour away to take a day trip to the beach in Boca Chica. Had our time together gone sour or I actually ended up in a dangerous situation, perhaps I would feel differently about interacting with men I don't know. But, for this particular trip, it made the difference.
Tip: Trust your gut. If someone or something makes you uncomfortable, steer clear. But, if you happen to meet someone and the vibe seems right, and most importantly, you feel safe, don't entirely discount leaning in.
“Foreign cities are dangerous. Avoid interacting with the locals.”
Courtesy of Lydia Lee
Particularly in regard to Santo Domingo, I read a lot on the city and reputation before this vacation. My decision to travel to Santo Domingo was primarily cost driven – my flight was only $240! But, unlike other cities in Puerto Rico and Costa Rica, the travel reviews I read on a number of blogs were less than favorable, especially in regard to safety.
This just might be me, but I feel like every city is "dangerous" in certain areas. Whenever I tell people from my hometown that I live in Brooklyn, they ask if I feel safe since it's supposedly "dangerous". As with any urban metropolis, I often ask people who actually live in a respective city to tell me where to explore and which areas to avoid. Using suggestions from Dominican staff and visitors at the hotel, I then tailored my list of places to visit in Santo Domingo, and it turned out great.
Prior to my trip, I wasn't expecting to love the local culture as much as I did. My family is originally from Jamaica and I felt a surprisingly comparable vibe between parts of Santo Domingo, DR and Kingston and Spanish Town, JA where my parents are from. Like Kingston, a large majority of the city is black or of some variation of black descent, and I really felt like I belonged (when I wasn't speaking Spanglish of course). I would ask questions, try different types of foods, and attempt to start up conversations with a number of people I met throughout my trip. Their warmth and overall friendliness really made a huge impact on my experience. Honestly, it might have made the whole trip.
“Be wary of consuming local foods and drinks.”
Courtesy of Lydia Lee
Similar to the above point, local is not synonymous with unclean or unsafe.
I remember meeting a lady in the hotel who was complaining, going on and on, about how dirty she heard the fruits and vegetables were and how she only wanted to eat food prepared directly in front of her. While water purity can be an issue in some countries, I feel like it's a waste to travel thousands of miles away to a foreign country just to eat chicken nuggets and Cheerios.
I probably ate and drank my whole trip – fried fish on the beach, mangu and salami, papayas, guava, mangoes, rum punch, mojitos, piña coladas – you name it, I had it. And, it was glorious.
Tip: Don't be lame. Try new foods and drinks! If you have concerns about water purity and food sanitation, bottled water and beverages are easily accessible and avoid eating food that has been sitting out for a while.
“Try not to stand out.”
Courtesy of Lydia Lee
While my skin color may have allowed me to blend in most spaces, it was pretty apparent that I was a tourist (especially when taking pictures). But, I don't think being a tourist is inherently a bad thing.
I believe that there is a big difference between being a tourist who simply visits versus appreciates a new place. I have visited countries where tourists are blatantly rude and disrespectful, leaving trash everywhere and talking down to locals. I felt in my core that I loved where I was visiting, tried my best to speak their language, and projected positivity and appreciation overall.
This does not mean walking around naively, flashing money or behaving in ways to attract negative attention, but it does mean not being afraid to engage with those around you and to stand out.
Tip: Being street smart does not mean completely shutting yourself off from the local environment around you. If you feel it's appropriate, don't be afraid to take pictures or even ask someone to take pictures of you. Again, be aware and read the overall vibe, but don't let fear and misconceptions stop you from exploring the world.
Featured Image by Lydia Lee (@hello_lydia).
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Originally published on March 9, 2019
Lydia is a recent Ivy League graduate and lifestyle writer based out of NYC. Storytelling her way through her 20-somethings, her lens is all things career, self-care, and #BlackGirlMagic. Meet Lydia on Instagram @hello_lydia.
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Mother's Day is approaching, and if you're looking for a unique way to celebrate, why not surprise her with a mother-daughter trip? As we age, vacationing with our moms may become rare and precious. Therefore, Mother’s Day presents an excellent opportunity to reconnect and engage in meaningful conversations about our lives. There are numerous destinations that cater to both of your interests and foster bonding experiences. Explore our top five mother-daughter vacation spots below.
For the Foodies: Marriott Puerto Vallarta Resort & Spa
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There's no better way to bond than over a shared meal and Marriott Puerto Vallarta Resort & Spa offers an unparalleled dining experience for a mother-daughter trip. The resort boasts Jalisco style ceviche making classes, a Japanese teppanyaki house right on the beach, and it recently launched ‘Las Recetas de la Abuela’ (Grandma’s Recipes.)
Las Recetas de la Abuela is a private dining experience where guests can enjoy the Executive Chef's abuela’s recipes and the heartfelt stories behind them.
For The Music Lovers: Grand Universe Lucca / La Residenza
Music is known for bringing people together and that's why Grand Universe Lucca is a great stay for music-loving mother and daughter. Lucca, steeped in classical music and opera heritage, offers a unique experience for music enthusiasts. During your stay, immerse yourself in the hotel’s Symphony Lounge, where the resident composer creates a personalized musical prelude, drawing inspiration from your personalities and life stories.
Additionally, don’t miss the city’s renowned Lucca Summer Festival, where world-class artists grace the stage each year, showcasing their talents to the local community.
For the Wellness Enthusiasts: Ocean Edge Resort & Golf Club
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Wellness is crucial regardless of age, so why not bond over it? Ocean Edge Resort & Golf Club announced its Mother's Day Restorative Yoga Retreat, an exclusive opportunity for mothers and daughters to unwind and rejuvenate together. Immerse yourselves in the tranquility of vinyasa, restorative yoga, breathwork, sound baths, and soothing massages.
Located in Cape Cod, MA, this resort offers a serene escape, just a stone’s throw away from the breathtaking beach and conveniently located near bike trails. For the active duo, these trails provide perfect avenues for exhilarating bike rides and leisurely beach walks. Alternatively, if relaxation is your preference, indulge in a day of pampering at the resort’s renowned spa.
For the Cowgirls: The Rusty Parrot Lodge & Spa
Get your boots on the ground and visit Rusty Parrot Lodge & Spa in Jackson Hole, WY. This resort is situated near two national parks that give picturesque views of the mountains and offers a range of activities, including their critically acclaimed spa.
After you and your mom complete your hydrating facials and restorative massages, head to Wild Sage Restaurant, where you two can indulge in local and seasonal dishes. Lastly, to complete your cowgirl experience, end the night at the iconic Million Dollar Cowboy Bar.
For the Shopaholics: Bellevue, WA
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The girls love to shop and if you and your mom love to tear the mall down, then try planning a mother-daughter trip at the shopping capital of the Pacific Northwest. Bellevue, Washington has a variety of shopping experiences from luxury goods like Gucci and Hermès to local speciality boutiques.
While you’re on your shopping spree, don’t forget to take a break and admire the breathtaking views of the mountains. After a day of shopping, treat yourselves to a delicious meal at Ascend Prime Steak & Sushi and Oprah’s favorite chocolate store, Fran’s to indulge in some sweet treats.
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