Black women are bomb.
Period. Point blank. The end.
It's a sentiment that we as a culture will continue to shout from the mountain tops in the epitome of #BlackGirlMagic in an effort to reaffirm our sisters and ourselves of our inherent dopeness.
And Fashion Bomb Daily founder and EIC Claire Sulmers knows that.
Claire Sulmers/Fashion Bomb Daily
It's about noon when we speak. And right on the heels of her annual Conversations with Claire, her empowering and networking sessions with some of fashions influential people, namely Bevy Smith, Duckie Confetti, and Misa Hylton. She's calm, cool, and collected. Which is in stark contrast to bustling sounds of New York City where the event is set to take place.
It's a time for those who are in the fashion industry, or aspiring to be, to have their own seat at the table while gaining insight and education into a world that can sometimes be both intimidating and judgmental. And setting up that table for others seems to be the overarching theme for the Harvard graduate herself. Starting her blog 12 years ago, Claire initially began Fashion Bomb Daily as a way for her to showcase her latest fab finds. But it slowly grew to be even more than she ever realized.
Realizing that there was a need for platforms who had their eyes on the up and coming fashion icons and influencers in the making, the blog became a platform to shine a spotlight on designers, stylists, and celebs who didn't get the recognition they so deserved. And after seeing multiple websites embarrassingly refer to style aficionado Ty Hunter as Beyoncé's personal train holder, Claire knew that the purpose for her platform was tied to something deeper. "This man was the one creating this image of Beyoncé that we all know and love for years and he deserved respect. For me, it's about our history and documenting our history. We have to preserve our legends and tell their story in a way that gives a fleshed out full view of who they are and documenting that for posterity."
Claire Sulmers/Fashion Bomb Daily
So, it's no wonder that followers and fans were dismayed when they logged onto Instagram earlier this year to see that their beloved page had disappeared. Citing copyright issues as the culprit, Claire was now faced with a decision: give up or pivot. "I always try to look at things from a spiritual perspective and ask myself what lessons should I learn from this and what is God trying to show me? It's been a really tough year, but it's been great in a lot of ways. I'm looking forward to Fashion Bomb Daily coming back, it's important to the culture and all the people who followed and appreciated what we did."
And it's with that awareness that Claire has been able to position herself as a fashion mogul and media maven. Being forced to focus on building her personal brand and stepping more into the spotlight to increase and maintain visibility has taught her major lessons when it comes to committing to and investing in yourself. She knows the power of walking with integrity and just doing good business.
And while branding herself may have once taken a backseat to FBD, it's something she's been able to navigate successfully thanks in part to her live events and consistent social media presence. Though the shutdown was less than ideal, it served as yet another opportunity for Claire to draw on her resiliency. After initially being rejected trying to get her foot in the door of the fashion world and passed over for opportunities with some of fashions influential magazines, she's learned that sometimes those moments can be both testing and teachable. "I think it's about going back to the drawing board and seeing how you can elevate. Maybe you have to think things through differently. But you have to continue to persist. So if I have to bang on the door until it opens then I will."
Claire Sulmers/Fashion Bomb Daily
"I think it's about going back to the drawing board and seeing how you can elevate."
It's that resiliency and empowerment that makes Claire not only a beacon of inspiration but also flyness. Fashion Bomb Daily has its pulse on trends before most mainstream outlets catch on. It celebrates and appreciates the diversity, style, and flair that Black women bring to the table of fashion. It is the epitome of representation in an industry that oftentimes overlooks and undercuts women of color particularly. From crediting Kardashians for making cornrows cool and bringing big butts back to designers adorning "little mini buns" and baby hairs on their models. Fashion has a hard time giving Black women the coin and credit we deserve. But don't get it twisted. According to Claire, we hold an advantage: We have a larger worldview plus our ability to be chameleons. Black women are willing to take risks and SET trends whether people acknowledge that or not. "Black women always say and will resound that this has BEEN hot because WE made it hot FIRST."
And that's facts if there ever was one. For Black women, our aesthetic, our looks, how we choose to wear our hair goes deeper than just trying to look good on the 'gram. It speaks much like our beautifully melanated skin as soon as we walk into the door. It makes a statement declaring just exactly who we are, how we feel about ourselves, and how others need to treat us. For the culture, our fashion means so much more. It plays a role in the trajectory of our lives and longevity of our livelihood.
Due largely in part to respectability politics in this country, how Black women choose to go out into the world is both personal, political, and powerful. And while the industry holds its fair share of flaws, for Claire, it is something she's committed to making her mark on one red bottom at a time.
"I love fashion and I will always show up for fashion."
Talk about #BombGirlMagic.
Keep up with Claire by giving her a follow on Instagram.
Featured image by Claire Sulmers/Fashion Bomb Daily.
In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Mike Lawrie/Getty Images
When I came across a way to maximize the pleasure I receive from cunnilingus (already), I had no choice but to tap in. Who knew the key to taking oral sex to new heights was giving it a sideways twist? For those of you who might also be interested in ways to spice up the way you do oral, experience faster and stronger orgasms, or simply want to indulge in something new with your partner, the Kivin Method could definitely be the oral sex technique for you, too.
Keep reading to learn about the method that is sure to have you writhing in ecstasy in no time at all.
What Is The Kivin Method?
For the uninitiated, the Kivin Method is an oral sex technique that focuses on stimulating the clitoris from a different angle. Dubbed “sideways oral” by some, this method involves the action of giving head from a side-to-side movement as opposed to the up-and-down motion that people typically perform when giving head. (If you need a visual, this illustration is helpful.)
The difference in approach as you’re receiving head can be a game-changer in how you receive pleasure. Not only does the giving partner have access to the clitoris, but they can also access more easily the vulva and the labia, which are objectively a bigger focus in this version of cunnilingus. More access means wider coverage, and that, plus the new sensation of oral from a different angle, can heighten the way you experience oral sex that much more.
Where more pleasure flows, intense orgasms are sure to follow.
Getty Images
How To Do The Kivin Method
If you want to know how to do the Kivin Method, it’s actually pretty straightforward. The receiver lays on their back while the giver positions themselves perpendicular to the receiver. Their head will be facing the vulva, but instead of vertical, their face will be horizontal to the vulva.
From there, the giver can get to business, ensuring that they keep their head perpendicular to the receiver’s vulva while working on their craft. Because this technique can be more intense for some receivers, start slowly by stroking the vulva and clitoris sideways with the tongue, and allow sensations and communication from the receiver to be a guide of what you need more or less of with the Kivin Method.
Ultimately, the Kivin Method allows experimentation and unlocking what pressure, rhythm, and tricks work best for the giver and the receiver. Try implementing a finger or two, or adding a sex toy to the mix to intensify the act even further.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Delmaine Donson/Getty Images
