
I can't remember the first time that I heard this particular quote by a man named Don Schrader but, ever since I did, it has been something that I have brought up to church folks (especially the super churchy ones) whenever the topic of sex comes up. He once said, "To hear many religious people talk, one would think that God created the torso, head, legs, and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals." Whew and I'm sayin'.
I get so tired of so many religious folks acting like sex is something that shouldn't be discussed when one, we are sexual beings (our sexuality is a part of our spirituality), and two, the Bible has plenty to say on the topic. And, when it comes to the Word, if there is a recurring point and theme, it's that husbands and wives should be having lots and lots of sex. Period.
As far as the Scriptural basis for marital sex, probably the automatic go-to verse is Hebrews 13:4 (NKJV). It says, "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge." There are layers to all of this, so let's just focus on what comes before the semicolon for now; even then, one word is in it: undefiled. It's important that undefiled is taken into context. It doesn't mean that just because two people are married that they can just do…whatever. It means that the marriage bed is pure and pure means "free from anything of a different, inferior, or contaminating kind."
So y'all, if you are married, it's important to always keep in mind that, when it comes to whatever you and your partner decide to do, it needs to be something that won't contaminate (harm) your relationship. This biblical instruction is not something that any one person can decide on their own; both parties have to come to a mutual decision on what those acts are.
Yet once you did come to some common sexual ground, your sex life really should be on and poppin' on a regular and consistent basis. If you'd like a few extra Scriptures to support why I emphatically say that, I've got five for you to ponder.
Bible Verses About Sex In Marriage
1. Genesis 2:24-25 (AMPC)

“Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not embarrassed or ashamed in each other’s presence.”—Genesis 2:24-25 (AMPC)
There's a reason why I chose to go with the word "erotic" over something that might seem more subdued like, perhaps, sensual in the title of this piece. Sensual speaks of being carnal, fleshly, and having a "lack moral restraints".
Quite frankly, I think that is a big problem with Bible followers and how they process the topic of sex; they see it through the eyes of being sensual rather than being erotic—"arousing or satisfying sexual desire" and "sexual love". Personally, that's why I also think a lot of people who grew up in the Church struggle with the very clear instruction that is found in Genesis 2; they feel naked and ashamed because the Church has a tendency to focus more on sexual sin than the beauty of the gift of sex for married people.
If you add that to the fact that a lot of folks struggle with their body image…it's no wonder that many husbands and wives are biblically disobedient. Disobedient how? Well, the Word clearly states that a husband and his wife, whenever they are naked in each other's presence, they are not to be embarrassed (be uncomfortably self-conscious) or ashamed (unwilling or restrained because of fear of shame, ridicule, or disapproval).
Man, imagine how much the sex lives of couples all over the world would change for the better, if spouses got this point down alone? If they realized that God never intended for a husband and wife to be naked and ashamed when it comes to how they feel in each other's presence or when it comes to the act of sex itself. Talk about gettin'—and stayin'—free.
2. Proverbs 5:15-20 (AMPC)

“Drink waters out of your own cistern [of a pure marriage relationship], and fresh running waters out of your own well. Should your offspring be dispersed abroad as water brooks in the streets? [Confine yourself to your own wife] let your children be for you alone, and not the children of strangers with you. Let your fountain [of human life] be blessed [with the rewards of fidelity], and rejoice in the wife of your youth.
Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant doe [tender, gentle, attractive]—let her bosom satisfy you at all times, and always be transported with delight in her love. Why should you, my son, be infatuated with a loose woman, embrace the bosom of an outsider, and go astray?”—Proverbs 5:15-20 (AMPC)
I've shared the story before about a pastor and his wife who once got on the pulpit to talk about how they don't participate in oral sex while also sharing that they don't really get why anyone else would want to either. It was hilarious what the first lady's mother said in response, "Well, that's you and your house." Indeed. Not to get super deep into theology or anything, but there are some religions (and Christian denominations) that denounce oral pleasure because they believe that sex is solely for the purpose of procreation (you know, thanks to the whole "be fruitful and multiply" thing—Genesis 1:26-28).
Yeah, I don't get that, since Adam and Eve were given sexual instructions in the Garden of Eden but didn't conceive kids until after they were out of it (Genesis 4). And what about couples who don't want children or, for whatever the reason, can't have any?
Besides, I'm assuming that church leadership knows what a cistern is. But, just for safe measure, it's defined as being "a reservoir, tank, or container for storing or holding water or other liquid" and "a reservoir or receptacle of some natural fluid of the body". I don't know about you, but I don't know anyone who is married to an Aquafina water bottle, so that leaves vaginas. And when it comes to the "let her bosom satisfy you" part? I also don't know any man who has gotten a woman pregnant by rubbing on her breasts and Scripture is clearly all about husbands enjoying their wife's breasts too (check out Live Science's "New Theory on Why Men Love Breasts" sometime).
Finally, if you add to all of this the fact that there are all sorts of benefits that come from fellatio and cunnilingus—you get why I write articles on here like "What?! Only 35 Percent Of Men Go Down? Say It Ain't So.", "Are You Ready To Amp Up Your Oral Sex Game? Try This." and "Do You Swallow? The Unexpected Health Benefits Of Sperm" without reservation, hesitation or apology.
Oral sex is a blessing. The Bible says so. Married folks, don't miss out.
3. Song of Solomon 1:16 (NKJV)

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“Behold, you are handsome, my beloved! Yes, pleasant! Also, our bed is green.”—Song of Solomon 1:16 (NKJV)
This, hands down, is one of my favorite verses in the Bible when it comes to cultivating sexual intimacy. While on the surface, it might not seem like much, take a moment to look deeper. First of all, the Bible was translated out of the Hebrew language and the Hebrew word for beloved is "yadid" (or yedid). It also means favorite and desired.
While many of us aren't—or won't be—virgins on our wedding night, something that we can definitely strive to be with our spouse is their sexual favorite. Something else that we can—and should—do is want to make them feel like we desire them. That we crave them. That we long for them. That they are able to ignite sexual urges within us that no one on this planet can.
There's more, though. Our bed is green. Green is a dope color. It's not just the color of nature (which is where Adam and Eve were created in), it also symbolizes health, harmony, safety, growth, and fertility. The very first time that I read this verse, I was like, "If I ever get married, I'm getting some green bedding, fa sho." So married people, even if you only decide to go with a plant, consider also putting something green in your bedroom. It can serve as a reminder that your marriage bed is holistically healthy—emotionally, spiritually, sexually, and otherwise.
4. Song of Solomon 2:6 (NKJV)

“His left hand is under my head, and his right hand embraces me.”—Song of Solomon 2:6 (NKJV)
I don't know how many times and, on how many platforms, I have shared that, when it comes to the problems that husbands and wives bring to me, 90 percent of them are directly connected to sexual dissatisfaction on some level. Some are not having sex as much as they would like (see "Married Couples, What You May Need Is Sex. Every Day. For A Month. Straight."). Others say that they never have time for sex (sex is not something you really have time for; you make time for it—see "10 Simple Ways Married Couples Can Make More Time For Sex").
Others don't realize that things like boredom, not emotionally connecting throughout the day, and a lack of "landscaping" is doing all sorts of damage to their sexual relationship (see "7 Things Married Couples Do To Damage Their Sex Lives & Don't Even Know It"). The reasons are endless. Yet, the one thing that all of the explanations have in common is, that when a husband and wife are physically able to have sex and aren't, it's not healthy for a relationship. Not only that but, more times than not, the "unhealthiness" is going to manifest in other areas of the marriage too.
That's why I think that this verse of the Bible is important. It's mostly due to the word "embrace".
Embracing your spouse is not just about giving them a hug. It's also about receiving them gladly and eagerly, accepting them willingly, and making yourself available to them. This one simple sentence speaks volumes to the fact that when you're married, it's important to make your spouse a top priority and to want them to feel desired in a physical and sexual way.
It's also a reminder that if this doesn't resonate with you, it's a good idea to do some deep soul-searching as to why…because embracing your partner should be a given, not a special occasion occurrence in a marital union.
5. I Corinthians 7:3&5 (AMPC)

“The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights (goodwill, kindness, and what is due her as his wife), and likewise the wife to her husband...Do not refuse and deprive and defraud each other [of your due marital rights], except perhaps by mutual consent for a time, so that you may devote yourselves unhindered to prayer. But afterwards resume marital relations, lest Satan tempt you [to sin] through your lack of restraint of sexual desire.”—I Corinthians 7:3&5 (AMPC)
There are a lot of great things about this particular Scripture. The very first sentence is a reminder that God expects married people to have sex; that it is a marital responsibility, of both a husband and a wife. From there, peep how the Bible states that not having sex (except for mutual reasons) is an act of deprivation and even defrauding your partner. To deprive is "to remove or withhold something from the enjoyment" and to defraud is "to cheat."
According to the Word itself, consciously going without sex is a form of withholding enjoyment and cheating your partner out of something that they are supposed to get out of their marital relationship. Not only that but, when someone decides to do that, the Bible says that it gives Satan (dark forces), the ability to tempt you and/or your partner. Tempt means "to entice or allure to do something often regarded as unwise, wrong, or immoral."
I can't tell you how many times someone (usually it's a wife) has told me that they are ready to end their marriage either because their spouse had an emotional or physical affair. When I ask how long it's been since they've had sex and I get something like, "It's not a priority to me" or "I haven't been in the mood", and that's been the case for months on end, and then I refer the person to these verses in the Word, it's kind of crazy how they immediately get triggered. Again, sex is not just a want in a marriage; it's a need. It's a staple. As the Message Version of I Corinthians 6:16 states, "There's more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, 'The two become one.'"
Sex is an act that spiritually makes two people one and, remember that in Genesis 2, the Bible says that a husband and wife are to embark upon the lifelong journey of "becoming one." So yes, every time that a married couple has sex, "oneness" transpires. Oneness means "a strong feeling of closeness or affinity; union" and "unity of thought, feeling, belief, aim, etc.; agreement; concord" and "sameness." No wonder, even God's Word not only recommends but instructs that married couples get it in as often as possible!
It's not just about physical pleasure (although that is indeed a part of it). It's also about doing what reminds them that they are to have a strong feeling of closeness to each other, that they are to get into a state of unity and agreement, and that they are to get onto the same page, as much as possible. And sex? It's an act that helps to make all of this possible.
These are just five verses. Trust me, if there was more time and space, I could go on (and on and on and on). But I'm hoping that you take these verses extremely seriously if you are a married Bible follower. And, if you're not, maybe you'll see the Bible, as it relates to sex between a husband and wife, in a different light.
As the Message Version of Hebrews 13:4 says, "Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband." Marital intimacy is beyond dope. Make sure that you do.
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Exclusive: Viral It Girl Kayla Nicole Is Reclaiming The Mic—And The Narrative
It’s nice to have a podcast when you’re constantly trending online. One week after setting timelines ablaze on Halloween, Kayla Nicole released an episode of her Dear Media pop culture podcast, The Pre-Game, where she took listeners behind the scenes of her viral costume.
The 34-year-old had been torn between dressing up as Beyoncé or Toni Braxton, she says in the episode. She couldn’t decide which version of Bey she’d be, though. Two days before the holiday, she locked in her choice, filming a short recreation of Braxton’s “He Wasn’t Man Enough for Me” music video that has since garnered nearly 6.5M views on TikTok.
Kayla Nicole says she wore a dress that was once worn by Braxton herself for the Halloween costume. “It’s not a secret Toni is more on the petite side. I’m obsessed with all 5’2” of her,” she tells xoNecole via email. “But I’m 5’10'' and not missing any meals, honey, so to my surprise, when I got the dress and it actually fit, I knew it was destiny.”
The episode was the perfect way for the multihyphenate to take control of her own narrative. By addressing the viral moment on her own platform, she was able to stir the conversation and keep the focus on her adoration for Braxton, an artist she says she grew up listening to and who still makes her most-played playlist every year. Elsewhere, she likely would’ve received questions about whether or not the costume was a subliminal aimed at her ex-boyfriend and his pop star fiancée. “I think that people will try to project their own narratives, right?” she said, hinting at this in the episode. “But, for me personally – I think it’s very important to say this in this moment – I’m not in the business of tearing other women down. I’m in the business of celebrating them.”
Kayla Nicole is among xoNecole’s It Girl 100 Class of 2025, powered by SheaMoisture, recognized in the Viral Voices category for her work in media and the trends she sets on our timelines, all while prioritizing her own mental and physical health. As she puts it: “Yes, I’m curating conversations on my podcast The Pre-Game, and cultivating community with my wellness brand Tribe Therepē.”
Despite being the frequent topic of conversation online, Kayla Nicole says she’s learning to take advantage of her growing social media platform without becoming consumed by it. “I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out,” she says.
On The Pre-Game, which launched earlier this year, she has positioned herself as listeners “homegirl.” “There’s definitely a delicate dance between being genuine and oversharing, and I’ve had to learn that the hard way. Now I share from a place of reflection, not reaction,” she says. “If it can help someone feel seen or less alone, I’ll talk about it within reason. But I’ve certainly learned to protect parts of my life that I cherish most. I share what serves connection but doesn’t cost me peace.
"I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out."

Credit: Malcolm Roberson
Throughout each episode, she sips a cocktail and addresses trending topics (even when they involve herself). It’s a platform the Pepperdine University alumnus has been preparing to have since she graduated with a degree in broadcast journalism, with a concentration in political science.
“I just knew I was going to end up on a local news network at the head anchor table, breaking high speed chases, and tossing it to the weather girl,” she says. Instead, she ended up working as an assistant at TMZ before covering sports as a freelance reporter. (She’s said she didn’t work for ESPN, despite previous reports saying otherwise.) The Pre-Game combines her love for pop culture and sports in a way that once felt inaccessible to her in traditional media.
She’s not just a podcaster, though. When she’s not behind the mic, taking acting classes or making her New York Fashion Week debut, Kayla Nicole is also busy elevating her wellness brand Tribe Therepē, where she shares her workouts and the workout equipment that helps her look chic while staying fit. She says the brand will add apparel to its line up in early 2026.
“Tribe Therepē has evolved into exactly what I have always envisioned. A community of women who care about being fit not just for the aesthetic, but for their mental and emotional well-being too. It’s grounded. It’s feminine. It’s strong,” she says. “And honestly, it's a reflection of where I am in my life right now. I feel so damn good - mentally, emotionally, and physically. And I am grateful to be in a space where I can pour that love and light back into the community that continues to pour into me.”
Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
Featured image by Malcolm Roberson
There is a very specific reason why I decided to write this article before the holiday season officially gets underway. It’s because I once read a study that said it’s quite common for most Americans to double the amount of alcohol that they consume between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day.
It makes sense when you stop to think about all of the holiday parties, time off, and moments spent with loved ones that transpire around this time of year. And while there is certainly nothing wrong with enjoying some mulled wine, real-deal eggnog, or peppermint martinis, because your health is something that never “takes a vacation,” I thought it was important to share with you some of the benefits (pros) and challenges (cons) that can arise from alcohol consumption.
My main motive? Mostly, I hope that it will serve as a solid reminder to embrace all of the things that you adore about this time of year, so long as you do it in moderation and you weigh the costs.
Especially as far as drinking alcohol is concerned.
PRO: Manages Blood Sugar Levels
GiphyHere’s something that you may have never seen coming. Were you aware of the fact that alcohol can actually help to stabilize your blood sugar? Yep, according to the American Diabetes Association, so long as you leave it to no more than 1-2 cocktails a day, alcohol may be able to lower your A1C levels. Pretty cool, right?
CON: It’s a Carcinogen
GiphyAlcohol is a carcinogen. The reason why this should somewhat alarm you is because carcinogens are things (like tobacco, UV rays, processed meats, etc.) that can increase your chances of being diagnosed with cancer (especially mouth, throat, esophagus, stomach and breast cancer). There are various ways this happens including the fact that alcohol, specifically, can hinder your body from breaking down certain nutrients, it can cause your estrogen levels to spike and alcohol can also cause certain toxins to damage your DNA and certain bodily proteins over time.
PRO: Cultivates Euphoric Feelings
GiphyIf you find yourself feeling more euphoric while you’re enjoying a drink, it’s not all up in your head. Although, for the more part, alcohol is considered to be a depressant, when consumed in small amounts, it can provide a stimulant effect. This happens due to the fact that when you first start to consume alcohol, it causes the production of the feel-good hormone known as dopamine to increase — and since dopamine makes us all feel more relaxed and confident while heightening our senses of pleasure too…well, there you have it.
CON: May Increase Anxiety/Depression
GiphyAs they say, “what goes up, most come down” at some point — and that is what you have to be careful of when it comes to alcohol consumption. For instance, when you drink alcohol, although it tends to initially cause your dopamine levels to uptick, because it is a temporary bodily response, sometimes the dips are lower than the rises…and that is when anxiety starts to kick in. A similar point is made with depression because oftentimes, people with depression-related symptoms, will use alcohol as a way to deflect from what’s really going on with them — and that can make them feel even worse than ever once the buzz of alcohol starts to wear off.
PRO: Has Some Heart-Related Benefits
GiphyWhen it comes to your heart, there are interesting findings surrounding its relationship to alcohol. For instance, some research states that, so long as the consumption is moderate, alcohol can actually help to increase the good cholesterol in your system while also breaking down proteins that can potentially lead to blood clots; both of these factors alone can reduce your chances of dying from heart disease.
CON: Packs on Pounds
GiphyIt’s no secret that alcohol tends to contain quite a few calories. That’s why, it’s not uncommon for people who’ve lost weight to mention “I’ve stopped drinking” as one of the causes for the shed pounds. That’s not to say that there aren’t some alcoholic beverages that have less calories than others including vodka (133 calories per serving), white wine (148 calories per serving) and tequila (99 calories per shot). Just keep in mind that the more you drink, the more calories get into your system and the more weight you stand to gain.
PRO: Lowers Inhibitions
GiphyAlthough you really should only be uninhibited around people who you absolutely trust, if that person is your partner and you’re looking to have a pretty — eh hem — active evening, alcohol can certainly help to make that happen. The science of it all is the prefrontal cortex of your brain is what regulates your inhibitions and levels of self-control. Meanwhile, alcohol suppresses your inhibitions which can cause you to be more spontaneous and open to trying things that you might not immediately do if you were sober. And with the right individual, that can be sexually beneficial (emphasis on “right person”).
CON: Makes It Harder to Orgasm
GiphyOn the other hand, as odd as it may seem (in light of what I just said), if you have too much alcohol in your system, it could make climaxing difficult. That’s because orgasms happen, in part, due to your nervous system being stimulated — and since alcohol is technically a depressant…well, it could reduce nerve sensitivity (especially as far as your clitoris goes) for you while making it challenging for your partner to remain erect or have consistent stamina. And yeah, that sucks.
____
‘Tis the season. And with that, if some wassails or hot buttered rums are in your immediate future — hey, don’t let me stop you — not even a lil’ bit.
All I’m saying is now that you know what alcoholic drinks have to offer (both ways), you can know exactly how to incorporate them into your holiday plans. Enjoy!
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