

Coffee Table Books That Double As Conversation Starters
Magazines on coffee tables have served as conversation starters for as long as I can remember. I'm sure my beloved Granny wasn't the only one who had stacks of Ebony and JET on (and underneath) her coffee table. And other than JET serving as the source of my first crush (it was on former President Barack Obama back in his days as a Senator *swoons*), coffee table books are surely more than just decoration.
But now, the décor has evolved from magazines to oversized statement books. Don't get me wrong, I still keep quite a bit of magazines on my ottoman. They just aren't going away. But now, it's complemented with books that educate, spark conversation, and if nothing else, salute Black culture (and are great gift ideas).
Check out a few coffee table books that are bound to serve as inspiration and entertainment.
*This list is specially curated by the xoNecole team and some links are affiliate links. If you purchase an item from an affiliate link, xoNecole might earn a small commission.
The Rihanna Book
Rihanna broke the Internet more than once when this one was announced. She released The Rihanna Book with more than 1,000 photos while fans wait with anticipation for her next album. The book spans across 504 pages and includes several "intimate" pictures of the Savage X Fenty creator, showing her "life as a musician, performer, designer, and entrepreneur," according to a press release. This book was five years in the making, and just like many of the other things Rihanna does, it's guaranteed to start some type of conversation with you and your guests. It has a price tag of $100 on Amazon, and the Rihanna: Fenty X Phaidon edition is $175. That one is also accompanied by a steel tabletop bookstand.
Supreme Models: Iconic Black Women Who Revolutionized Fashion
This book is the first to ever clap it up for Black models. It applauds veterans like Iman and Beverly Johnson and shows love to the ladies they paved the way for, including Tyra Banks and Naomi Campbell. It also salutes the new ladies who are making their mark in the modeling industry like Jourdan Dunn and Joan Smalls. Celebrity stylist and journalist Marcellas Reynolds penned this book to close the gap in the lack of celebration for black models. According to a synopsis: "Black models have been influencing fashion and pop culture for decades, reshaping the standards and boundaries of beauty. Supreme Models is a celebration of their monumental impact." And it's only $26 on Amazon.
Virgil Abloh: Figures of Speech Special Edition
As the artistic director of Louis Vuitton's men's line, lots of people want to hear (or read) what Virgil Abloh has to say. This coffee table book is three different works of art in one. It has a catalog section with essays and interviews from fashion industry icons, an archives section with more than 1,800 images that hadn't yet seen the light of day, and the index, which displays Abloh's projects. It doesn't come without a few accolades as it was named New York Magazine's Most Giftable Coffee-Table Books of 2019. If you're ready to find out why a brand new one will cost about $150 at Barnes & Noble (you can also get a used one for roughly $92).
The New Black Vanguard: Photography Between Art and Fashion
Brought to you by writer and curator Antwaun Sargent, The New Black Vanguard confronts the recent revolution we've witnessed in the fashion and art worlds. A synopsis reads, "In a richly illustrated essay, Sargent opens up the conversation around the role of the Black body in the marketplace; the cross-pollination between art, fashion, and culture in constructing an image; and the institutional barriers that have historically been an impediment to Black photographers participating more fully in the fashion (and art) industries."
Sargent highlights 15 artist portfolios like photographer Tyler Mitchell, who made history as the first Black photographer to shoot an American Vogue cover. Campbell Addy, who was the first Black photographer to work with Naomi Campbell in 33 years for a high-fashion shoot is also featured. Who doesn't want to talk about that? The book is currently $45 on Amazon.
Hoda Kotb: I Really Needed This Today
There are few things better than therapeutic inspiration on your coffee table. Hoda Kotb's book, I Really Needed This Today, is a collection of the Today host's favorite and most inspirational quotes that have previously graced her Instagram account. The title of the book is a nod to the several times fans and followers commented on her posts with, "I Really Needed This Today." The piece includes 365 sayings to get you through the year and inspire your unassuming party guests.
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Charmaine Patterson is a journalist, lifestyle blogger, and a lover of all things pop culture. While she has much experience in covering top entertainment news stories, she aims to share her everyday life experiences, old and new, with other women who can relate, laugh, and love along with her. Follow Char on Twitter @charjpatterson, Instagram @charpatterson, and keep up with her journey at CharJPatterson.com .
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TW: some depictions of intrusive thoughts may be disturbing for readers.
Have you ever caught your mind drifting off to entertain the most disturbing scenarios imaginable? Maybe you can’t stop thinking of all the ways a loved one could pass away or worrying that you left every candle lit in your apartment to which you’d return to a home in ruins. If distressing ruminations like these have crossed your mind, you may be experiencing an intrusive thought.
What Are Intrusive Thoughts?
Intrusive thoughts are unwanted or distressing thoughts, images, or impulses that pop into your mind without your control or consent. These thoughts can be repetitive, unsettling, or even violent in nature, and can cause anxiety and frustration for those who experience them.
“Generally they're unwanted thoughts that come up in our head that interrupt what we're doing or thinking, and can feel very foreign,” says Adia Gooden, PhD, licensed clinical psychologist and host of the Unconditionally Worthy podcast. “It’s any thought that intrudes or interrupts what you are doing. They can be distressing and upsetting for us because it feels like we are not in control of them, and they're coming up out of nowhere and aren’t in line with how you normally think.”
What Causes Intrusive Thoughts?
Certain trauma or stress can contribute to the development of intrusive thoughts, so having a challenging experience from the past or current life situations may trigger them to form. “An intrusive thought could come in the form of a flashback, image, or a thought about something that's happened to you,” Dr. Gooden tells xoNecole. “When it gets to the point where you feel like you can't function or make clear decisions, that's when intrusive thoughts become really challenging.”
While some of the 1 billion videos found under the #intrusivethoughts hashtag on TikTok would lead you to believe that these thoughts are nothing more than casual displays of our imagination going untamed. Intrusive thoughts are more than sticking your hand in a soap dispenser, wanting to cut all your hair off at 3 a.m., or having a random impulse to eat fake bread in public.
The Anxiety & Depression Association of America reports that approximately six million individuals, equating to roughly two percent of the American population, encounter intrusive thoughts. Intrusive thoughts are often linked with obsessive-compulsive disorders, but they can also manifest in individuals with post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, or anxiety.
Examples of Common Intrusive Thoughts
Because of the explicit nature of intrusive thoughts, they tend to cause shame and internal conflict in those who experience them. Although these thoughts can differ from person to person, these ideation can consist of:
- Violent or aggressive thoughts towards oneself or others, such as harming or killing someone;
- Sexual thoughts that are unwanted or inappropriate;
- Repetitive thoughts, such as a song or a phrase that keeps repeating in your mind;
- Contamination or germ-related thoughts or the fear of contamination and getting sick;
- Religious or blasphemous thoughts, such as questioning one's faith or having thoughts that go against religious beliefs;
- Doubts or uncertainty about one's own actions or decisions, such as fear of making a mistake or fear of not doing something right.
Intrusive Thoughts and OCD
That’s why Dr. Gooden encourages everyone to understand the difference between our fleeting thoughts and impulses and true, intrusive thoughts. “What level of distress does it cause and is it something you would never consider,” she says. “If you're finding that these thoughts are getting in the way of you living your life and that you're controlled by the thoughts, those are some signs that it would be good to get some support in navigating it.”
She also emphasizes the importance of understanding that while we may not always have control over our thoughts, we can control our behavior. “On TikTok, people are sort of blaming intrusive thoughts on their behavior, and our behavior is always a choice,” she says. “If we are in our right mind and we're not having a psychotic episode, our behavior is our choice — we are not obligated to follow any given thought that we have.”
Are Intrusive Thoughts Normal?
With intrusive thoughts, it’s natural to question whether these thoughts are “normal” to have. However, these thoughts are not meant to define who you are as a person but simply indicate that you have a functioning human mind with automated thoughts that you, or any of us, can’t control. These thoughts may come, but they don’t have to be acted upon, nor do they define who you are.
“I've worked with clients in the past who say, ‘Why am I thinking these things? What's wrong with me?’ But if you're not acting on the thought, then it's probably not a huge issue,” Dr. Gooden says. “If you are thinking a harmful thought towards yourself or someone else and you are making plans to act on that thought, then yes, we need to do something about it.”
How To Manage Intrusive Thoughts
If you are struggling with managing unwanted thoughts, Dr. Aida suggests taking these tips to help manage your mindset when they occur:
- "Recognize that it's a thought and thoughts are just thoughts. We often put a little bit too much weight on our thoughts, and that can create a lot of distress. But remember that thoughts are not facts."
- "Having a thought that's disturbing or upsetting doesn't make you a bad person, and it doesn't mean that you are suffering from a mental illness."
- "Sometimes the best thing you can do is say, 'Huh, that was an interesting thought. I'm going to let that go. That thought is not helpful for me right now."
- "Ask yourself: is this helpful? Is it helpful for me to buy into this thought and believe this thought? Asking that question can be really helpful because we are not at the mercy of our thoughts. If it's not helpful, you can let it go."
Intrusive thoughts can feel bizarre and foreign when they come up, but they aren't inherently "bad." Our minds can sometimes be filled with random and inappropriate thoughts, but that's what our stream of consciousness does: it thinks. Fortunately, we can release those thoughts at any moment; you don't have to follow through with them.
And ultimately, not every TikTok diagnosis is one that we should label ourselves with.
"It's important for people to acknowledge what they're experiencing but not run too quickly to diagnose themselves with some mental illness or disorder," Dr. Gooden advises. "It ends with confusion, and we miss the opportunity to understand the people who really do have that mental health challenge."
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