6 Dope Ideas For An Unforgettable Girls' Night
It's golden hour on a Friday night and your girls night has once again turned into half-Netflixing and aimless texting. You go around the room, once, twice asking each of your girlfriends what they want to do and the conversation goes something like this:
"Do you want to see a movie?"
"Nope, not really."
"Face masks and wine night?"
"We did that last weekend…"
"Fine, do y'all want to order food?"
"Nah, I'm good."
"We can go out – head to the club?"
"Girl what? Absolutely not!"
"WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO??"
"Hmmm not sure."
Finding fun activities to do with your girls really shouldn't be that hard, and doesn't have to be. The first step is knowing how your friend group prefers to plan outings. Do they need a lot of notice? Are they open to trying new things? Are they on another restrictive budget? Depending on your city and friend group, the options can be endless. Tired of the same old, same old? Check out our guide below of 6 dope activities to do with your girls.
6 Fun Girls Night In Ideas
1.Take a Twerk Fitness or Cardio Pole Dancing Class
Trying to get that body right? Want to get active with your girls? I strongly recommend taking a dance fitness class, especially a twerk fitness class. Of all the group activities I've done with my friends, twerk cardio just might be near the top. You get all of the exercise benefits and music choices of going to the club without the fuss of getting ready and unpleasant social dynamics.
It's the best of both worlds.
2.Try a Paint & Sip Class
Also an underrated group activity, paint and sip classes can be both relaxing while structuring a set time for you to bond with your girls. It's even a great choice for your busy friend who prefers to do their own thing. Depending on the location, you can bring your own wine, select the painting, and even make music requests. Further, you don't need to have previous experience or be the next Van Gogh since the instructor guides everyone through the stages of making the painting a step at a time. With the right group of friends, from one friend to a large group, there is something for everyone to do.
3.Book a Staycation
You don't have to go far to "get away." Sometimes just getting out of your same environment – home, office, man's house – can help you recharge and reset. Grab a few of your girlfriends who you haven't seen in a while due to hectic schedules, and book a hotel room in your city for one or two days. Watch movies, order takeout, delve into some ~spicy~ conversations that you have been wanting to discuss for months. Have your own mini-getaway within your own city!
4.Start or Join a Bookclub
Courtesy of Instagram/@ReadBetweenTheWineClub
Be it a reoccurring book club or just making the commitment to all read a certain book together as a friend group, like Michelle Obama's, Becoming, intellectual discourse can be fun and refreshing. Sometimes the hardest part about reading is sitting down and finding the time, but once you get absorbed, it's impossible to stop.
I joined a book club of young, vibrant, professional black women when I first moved to NYC and it singlehandedly became my favorite part of the month. Finding safe spaces to discuss issues, build support networks, and make new friends are incredibly important, especially as a growing 20-something. Try finding or creating those spaces in a book club.
5.Take a Cooking or Bartending Class
Why order sushi when you can learn to make it? A fun and tasty girls' night option, search for one-time or reoccurring cooking and bartending classes in your city. It not only guarantees that your girls will find the time to come together, but will leave with a new skill! A lower maintenance option for those resistant to the idea of formal class is to go wine tasting at a local wine cellar. Both options guarantee that you will try something new.
6.Go to an Outdoor Movie Screening
Rather than opt for your typical movie theater, like Issa's birthday outing in Season 3 of Insecure, grab a bunch of friends, blankets, and snacks, and head to an outdoor movie screening. While city-specific and more of a spring/summer activity, it's a great twist on a traditional activity and still lets you bond with your girls.
Featured image by Getty Images.
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Lydia is a recent Ivy League graduate and lifestyle writer based out of NYC. Storytelling her way through her 20-somethings, her lens is all things career, self-care, and #BlackGirlMagic. Meet Lydia on Instagram @hello_lydia.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LISTÂ HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images