If you've read my recent post on the importance of investing in conferences, you will see that there are so many exciting conferences coming up. I'm now in the process of handpicking three to four conferences that I need to attend so that I can increase my network and learn new things.
The first live conference that I went to was a blogging conference called Blogger Bootcamp. I had such a great time at the conference, but honestly I was so unprepared. When you go to conferences, you have invested a lot of money and time in it, so being prepared can help you get the most out of your experience.
Besides making sure that your hair, nails, face, and eyebrows are on fleek, and that you have a nice outfit, there are so many things that you should take care of before the big day.
Here are a few things that you need to do before you attend your next conference.
1. Make a hit list
Prior to the conference, make a list of at least six people that you should connect with. These people can either be panelists or people that will be attendees like yourself. You can find panelist information by going to the conference website or social media. The list of people that are attending the conference will not be public, but with social media, you can use the power of hashtags to find out who is coming. For example, when I went to Blogger Bootcamp, I used the conference hashtag on Instagram and Twitter and was able to see who was coming. Then I did a little Instagram and Twitter stalking - don't judge me, we all do it - and I was able to get some background information on the people that were going.
In addition to writing down at least six people to connect with, I write a quick blurb on who they are, why we should connect, and a conversation starter idea just in case my mind goes blank when I see them. No one enjoys boring conversation starters about the weather.
2. Work on your elevator pitch
We all know the importance of the elevator pitch, but sometimes we forget that you need to mold your elevator pitch so that it is fitting with the event or moment. For example, if you are at a women's conference, it may be important to craft your elevator pitch in a way that speaks about you, discusses what makes you valuable, and what it is about you that others can benefit from (as it relates to the purpose of the conference that you are attending).
Here is an example pitch: Hi, my name is Brittani, and I am a manager and journalist that loves to empower and lead women through educational and inspiring content.
Keep in mind, your elevator pitch should be short, to the point, and should not be boring or sound rehearsed. You don't want to sound like you are reading from a teleprompter!
3. Get business cards
This may sound obvious, but trust me it is not! At my last conference (and even at networking events that I have been to), I have met so many people that do not own personal business cards. Even worse, I met some people that have business cards, but it is their card for their 9-5 job. You should never take along your job's business card unless you are at the conference on behalf of your job. If you take your job's business card to a conference, keep in mind it is your company's email and phone number that is on the card. If you give someone your company's business card, but then you leave your company within the next year, the person who you gave the card to won't be able to connect with you anymore.
Always, and I mean always, invest in personal business cards. Even if you are not an entrepreneur with a booming business, you can still have personal business cards. On your business card, keep it simple and sleek and include your full name, phone number, email, what you do, and your social media handles. Too many times, I have been handed some of the most ratchet business cards from people that doesn't include an email or phone number. Yes, you read that right. There are so many people that fail to include the most important, basic information! Don't make that mistake. You should make it easy for people to find you and connect with you.
You can get really inexpensive business cards from Office Depot/Office Max, Vista Print, and Moo. Check them out, they are all pretty inexpensive and make quality cards. While you are at it, don't forget your business card holder!
4. Connect with panelists and attendees
You've made your hit list for the conference, but make sure you follow them on social media as well. Use the time before the conference to do a little networking, and it will also make conversations go even smoother once you see them in person.
If you have read any of my articles, you know that I am in love with LinkedIn. If you don't have one, get one now and update it with your job experiences, skills, and portfolio work. Prior to the conference, scour over your LinkedIn and make sure that it is fully updated - you should also do the same for your other social media accounts. For example, if you plan on giving someone links to your Twitter and Instagram page, go on there and make sure the message that you are delivering is the message that you want others to get from you.
If you have your own website and blog, update it as well with recent information. If you are a blogger, add new, refreshing content and maybe curate content that will be relatable to the conference. Also, on your website, make sure your social media and contact information is up-to-date.
6. Make a hit list for the conference schedule
Conferences that are really big and popular tend to have several different panels and events for people to attend. Look at the conference schedule closely and mark off events that you have to attend. Make sure you pay close attention to the location where the event or panel will take place and the times. You don't want to over schedule yourself or poorly plan and end up missing really important events.
7. Read industry news and know what's going on
If you are planning on going to a conference in a specific industry, search for recent news pertaining to that industry. At the conference, you will want to successfully and intelligently engage in all types of conversations. You can find industry news by reading publications, looking online, or listening to, and watching podcasts.
8. Prepare your tech kit
Going to a conference, you want to make sure you have your technology emergency kit. This includes your laptop or tablet, charger, and portable charger for your cell phone. In addition, make sure you include a durable bag to put all of that in as well. I even recommend bringing a pen and a journal (just in case your computer crashes).
9. Plan ahead with perfect shoes
Going to conferences, you want to look your best. Most importantly, you want to wear something that makes YOU comfortable. I am a believer in being cute, but comfortable. Everyone cannot wear high heels, and that is okay - there are so many cute flats available. You do not want to be caught at a conference walking like a three-year-old in heels. Find shoes that you know you will be comfortable walking and standing in for hours.
Click here to catch a list of conferences that are worth attending this year.
Featured image by Getty Images
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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