Will Smith Feels That He Failed Every Woman In His Life
If you didn't know by now, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith are open books. They have been open about the challenges in their marriage and their family as well as their perspective careers, but for the first time, fans will get to see a different side to Will as he gets candid about his deepest and darkest thoughts.
The King Richard actor is gearing up for the release of his memoir Will where fans will get a chance to get inside the head of the beloved actor as he reflects on his life.
While his marriage with Jada has been on the lips of many as of late thanks to revelations made about their relationship on the actress's Facebook Watch show Red Table Talk, Will further opens Pandora's box with his book.
The "Fresh Prince" sat down with Oprah on her Apple TV+ show The Oprah Conversation last Friday and detailed his triumphs and failures. One of those failures has to do with the women in his life. "I carried most of my life [with the] sense of failing every woman I interact with," he told Oprah. "There are two women on earth I feel like I haven't failed: my grandmother, Gigi, and Willow (the daughter he shares with Jada Pinkett Smith)."
The actor has had a rocky road with some of the women in his life. His first marriage to Sheree Zampino was brief and it was later revealed that he fell in love with his Six Degrees of Separation co-star Stockard Channing during that time.
On last year's Father's Day episode of Red Table Talk, Will actually called his divorce from Sheree his "ultimate failure." He and his current wife Jada shocked fans last year when they revealed that they actually separated for a little while during the time the Girls Trip actress had an "entanglement" with R&B singer August Alsina.
During Will's conversation with Oprah, he explained that he grew up seeing his mother get abused by his father and not being able to protect her when he was a child eventually affected his relationships with women when he got older.
"For the most part of my adult life, from that moment in that bedroom, I carry a sense of not being good enough, not being able to protect the women I love, not being able to understand enough to make the right decision," he said. "It's felt like everything that I've done has been driven by an unspoken series of apologies to my mother for my inaction."
While the actor had his fair share of ups and downs with his daughter Willow, he says that their relationship has actually been healing for him.
"Willow's the only female relationship I've ever had that I didn't mess up," he said.
"And I'm sure there are aspects from Willow's point of view [that would make her] say, 'No, you messed some stuff up Dad.' But in my mind, I did right by her."
Will and Jada share a blended family of three children. Will shares Trey with his ex-wife Sheree and Jaden and Willow with Jada.
Although his marriage with Sheree didn't work out, the two have been able to successfully co-parent their son Trey and Sheree and Jada are also in a better place, so much so that Sheree was Jada's first guest on Red Table Talk.
Featured image by Jerod Harris/Getty Images
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Another season of Love Is Blind has come to a close, and almost two months later we’re still unpacking the drama that is Clay and AD. The finale, reunion, and post-interviews with Clay and AD after season six of Love Is Blind left millions of people wondering - why couldn’t AD see the signs? Clay told her he had a fear of marriage, his parents experienced infidelity, and he seemed to have many doubts about saying, "I do."
After changing his mind at the altar and hearing AD question why she feels like she’s never enough, I was finished watching. I didn’t need to hear anything else because, at that moment, I realized this wasn’t about Clay; this was about AD feeling inadequate before she ever met Clay.
If I’m honest, I don’t watch much dating television. TikTok keeps me updated with the clips that I need to see in order to be kept in the loop, but it’s difficult for me to watch an entire season of dating TV because seeing Black women settle for less and questioning their beauty is a trigger for me. In many ways, there were points in my life where I was AD, settling and ignoring red flags because I wanted to be loved.
Now, on the other side, it doesn’t feel good to see Black women lower their standards on national television. There have been many hot takes on this couple and who was in the wrong. Did Clay play in AD’s face or did she not listen to the truth of what he told her from day one? Was his reason for joining the show to promote his business and not to find the one?
We’ll never know the truth, but what we can do is learn tactics to better our self-worth. Founder and CEO of The Self Love Organization Denise Francis shared her expertise with xoNecole on what tangible steps to take to improve feelings of worthiness. “Self-love blooms in a garden where self-worth is planted, nourished, and whole. However, when your self-worth is challenged, displaced, or broken, it could be difficult to rebuild," Denise explains.
How To Rebuild Self-Worth
During her self-love coaching sessions, Denise likes to walk her clients through the cornerstones of rebuilding self-worth: grace and self-compassion. To her, self-worth is never lost, it's only displaced, so practicing self-compassion and giving yourself grace is a must. "We tend to place our self-worth in entities and people of ourselves such as relationship status, physical appearance, material possessions, social media followings, what others think of us, and more. Self-worth is not something to be measured by anyone or anything outside of ourselves because we all innately hold value and worth.
"Self-worth is not something to be measured by anyone or anything outside of ourselves because we all innately hold value and worth."
"When we place our value into people or things, we tend to feel that we are not enough, worth it, special, or important when relationship status, job titles, friendships, and physical appearances are lost or changed. We then tend to feel lost within ourselves because we’ve placed our value outside of ourselves. Using grace and compassion, you can rebuild your self-worth by returning home to who you are at your core," she concludes.
How To Return Home To Yourself
Denise advises taking a step back and using self-reflection through journaling by answering the following journaling prompts:
First, ask yourself, "What do you tend to attach your self-worth to and why?"
Is it your relationships, your job title, your finances, your appearance, etc.? Why do you think you place so much emphasis on external status? How does it make you feel when you are defining yourself through these entities and/or people outside of yourself?
Then, ask yourself, "Without these things, who am I?"
Once you have your answers, show yourself kindness, remove the shame, and, as Denise says, "Redefine yourself by detaching your value from the things and people you have no control over and no longer serve you. Challenge yourself to define yourself outside of titles and societal values."
"By returning home to your core, you find value in who you are as a person. You begin to find value in the way you love instead of your relationship status, your compassion instead of your popularity, your drive instead of your income/job title, and your heart instead of your physical appearance," she adds.
"By returning home to your core, you find value in who you are as a person."
"Be intentional with healing your self-worth by leaning into the people and things that nourish your core values. Surround yourself with the people who love and cherish you, they will always remind you just how valuable you truly are."
It all goes back to self-compassion and grace. As Denise explains, leading with those two things as you heal and rebuild your self-worth allows you to reduce negative self-talk that might come up for you. "This weakens thoughts like, 'I am not enough... why am I never enough?'" she shares, "And 'I don't deserve this while strengthening thoughts like 'I deserve better,' 'I am enough,' and 'I am worth it.'"
Denise continues, "Once you return home and remember the irreplaceable person you are, you can rebuild your self-worth by placing it back where it belongs. It belongs to you."
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Featured image by LaylaBird/Getty Images
