Common Reveals How Tiffany Haddish & The Women He's Dated Inspire Him
Common has become a fixture in the hip-hop scene thanks to his longevity in the game. And while he is known for hits like "Go!" and "Come Close", he is also known to have dated some of the most beautiful and talented Black women in the world. The "Glory" rapper has dated Erykah Badu, Serena Williams and now he is romantically linked to Tiffany Haddish.
With his new album A Beautiful Revolution, Pt. 2, the Chi-town star is reflecting on his past dating experiences and using it as inspiration for his music. Talking to Essence, the 49-year-old said:
"Some of the Black women that I've dated, been in relationships with, are crazy talented people, so that's inspiring in itself. You see the work that they put in, and then how they can still go out and be good family people. That's been very influential on my personal life, but it also comes through in my art."
Not only is the album a love letter to Black women, but Common also has women representation with features like R&B singer PJ and poets Jessica Care Moore and Morgan Parker.
When it comes to the special lady in Common's life now, the rapper doesn't shy away from his relationship. After meeting on the film The Kitchen in 2019, Tiffany and Common became friends, but the rapper revealed that the pandemic made him stop and reflect on his life and the people he wants in it and Tiffany was one of those people.
"That was very unique, man, because when the world is going through something, it makes you reflect on, 'If things was ending now, who do I want to be around?'"
Johnny Nunez/WireImage
"Naturally, Tiffany and I just spent a lot of time together, just really enjoying life and being grateful for life and not putting too much pressure on our relationship, just really being present with each other and supportive and having fun. We spent a lot of time together, and then we also understood, 'I need some time to myself; you need some time to yourself.' But in all truth, it was one of the times that I really was still for a relationship, to be able to be present in the relationship and not just be on the move as much."
Before the two became an item, the comedian admitted that she was hesitant about dating the rapper due to his dating past.
"He was, like, tryna holler, and I was like…'Um…no, I'm not really interested. I'm good. My eyes are set on other things. I'm interested in somebody else. I'm sorry. But you seem like a nice person,'" Tiffany said during a February 2021 appearance on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.
"'I know too many people that dated you, let's be honest,'" she said. "I didn't say that, though. You know. You know."
However, they have since gotten past that bump in the road and have been together for over a year now.
A Beautiful Revolution, Pt. 2 is a follow-up to A Beautiful Revolution, Pt. 1 that was released last year.
Featured image by Emma McIntyre/Getty Images for Netflix
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images