#xoTribe: We Found The Best Berry Lipsticks For Your Skin Tone
What are colder months without a poppin' berry lipstick?
Just as you equate Pumpkin Spice Lattes, chunky sweaters, and Uggs with fall and winter, you know that you can always count on your favorite berry-hued lipstick to get you through. For me, lipstick is a surefire way to look like you give a damn even when you don't. Luckily, as a Black woman, it's not as hard to find your desired berry shade as opposed to the struggle in the foundation department.
It's sometimes the opposite because there are SO many options – from blackberry to cranberry to grape to beyond. The key is to find which berry is the most flattering on YOU. Berry shades are wildly versatile and make it that much more fun to explore the variety.
First, find out your undertone. Cosmopolitan says, "An easy way to see if you have cool or warm undertones is to ask yourself if you think silver or gold jewelry suits you best. If gold makes your skin look brighter, then it's likely you have warm, yellow undertones, whereas if silver makes you look fresher you probably have cool, pink undertones. If you can wear both – you're neutral."
While berries aren't as bright as the pinks you don in summer, you still need a certain level of confidence when rocking them. In this season, let your lips do the talking with subtle natural makeup and a beautiful berry lip. The #xoTribe has gathered to show you our favorite berry shades and how we rock them. Take a look and throw some in the bag while you're at it!
Joce Blake
My Lippie: E.L.F. Cosmetics Moisturizing Lipstick in Wine Tour, $3
"I like my berry lippie like I like my wine – deep red. E.L.F. is one my favorite beauty companies. This color makes me feel alluring and sultry because of its velvety, satin texture. It also provides a vibrant color and luminous shine. Another key in pulling off this color in this dry season is to give your lips some love by using a primer before painting it on."
Kandice Guice
My Lippie: The Lip Bar in Prima Donna, $12.99
"I'm obsessed with the purple hue of this matte lipstick. It looks great on any skin tone and makes a statement every time it's worn."
Sheriden Chanel
Managing Editor Sheriden Chanel
My Lippie: Know It All by The Lip Bar, $13
"I'm not a big makeup wearer in general, but every now and then, I do get my fix fulfilled with lipstick. I think Know It All is perfect for me because it complements my skin. I naturally gravitate towards darker shades and even though it's a purple lippie, its brown undertones go very well with the deepness of my skin. I also love it because it makes a statement but is also understated, which is me to a T, a walking contradiction."
Ashley J. Hobbs
My Lippie: Milani Color Statement Matte Lipstick in Fearless 70, $4.19 & Jordana Lip Pencil in Coco Loco, $2.49
"It complements my skin tone well. I wanted a deeper berry shade with a blue undertone because other brighter berry colors don't flatter me as well."
Zoe Hunter
My Lippie: Wet N Wild Sugar Plum Fairy, $2.49 paired with Ulta Brilliant Color Lip Gloss Rich Plum, $7.99
"The combo is a perfect blend of a poppin' pink with subtle hints of purple and red. It's the bold berry color I'm looking for in the winter months, when I'm unable to go to the extreme of summer pinks and bright reds."
Shanelle Harris
Feature Writer Shanelle Harris
My Lippie: Tarte Cosmetics Tartiest Creamy Matte Lip Paint , $20
"I'm obsessed with it because it's just the perfect darker red for me. The warmer undertones in it complement mine and I literally wear it almost every other day."
Krissy Lewis
My Lippie: MAC matte lipstick in the color "Sin" , $18
"I love this color and I think it matches so perfectly because it's a deep red with a little pop. I don't feel like it's too dark to the point that it blends in and sometimes it's hard for me to get a dark color that pops! I also love that I can do a glossy look with it to just by adding a a layer of lip gloss."
Lydia Lee
My Lippie: Victoria's Secret Velvet Matte Creme Liquid Lip in Drama, $18
"I love wearing dark reds and plum shades during the winter months. It's my no-fail choice to add a pop of color to an outfit or take a look to the next level. I originally found this shade while digging through a bin during a Victoria's Secret Semi-Annual sale and now it's become one of my favorites."
Taylor Honore
Associate Editor Taylor Honore
My Lippie: Kareemah - Sabreen Cosmetics, $20
"It gives me a warm and sultry look without washing me out. Normally dark tones make me me look like a banana, but this one complements my tone well while giving off some serious bad gal vibes. I also love this brand because it's Black and female owned and has a great cause."
Kiarra Sylvester
My Lippie: Nars Velvet Matte Lipstick Pencil in Train Bleu, $27
"I think the warm tone brings out the best of brown in me. But, I only really know that it's a fave because I go back every time despite the small size and large price."
Featured image by Shutterstock
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Joce Blake is a womanist who loves fashion, Beyonce and Hot Cheetos. The sophistiratchet enthusiast is based in Brooklyn, NY but has southern belle roots as she was born and raised in Memphis, TN. Keep up with her on Instagram @joce_blake and on Twitter @SaraJessicaBee.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images