No More Monday Blues: A Prayer For When You Need God’s Strength To Carry You Through
This is dedicated to the queens who are already stressed due to the coming week because the weight of their responsibilities and trials are just too heavy to carry. To the women who feel too weak – physically, emotionally, mentally and financially – to continue moving forward. My hope is that this post will adjust your vision to help you realize that you have a resource at your disposal to triumphantly overcome the woes of the world.
Okay, so let's state the not-so-obvious. Technically, you could successfully ride the waves of life without Christ at the center of your life. However, without Him, it would be hard to stay afloat with the weight of your own world trying to hold you down. You see, when life's trials, like when your coworker oversteps their boundaries or when your money is funny, tries to drown you, Christ is like a floatation device keeping you on top of the water.
God is your helper, a true provider. He wants to get you out of sticky situations and into glory with Him. Being a product affected by your surrounding turbulence is only a choice. There's another option which is to elevate above the storm beneath you. With Christ, joy and peace are inevitable.
So, though the mere thought of the week ahead may wear you down, you can still tap into God's supernatural strength, knowledge and abilities to help you kick this week's butt. You will make it through with Christ by your side. All you need to do is believe and surrender yourself to Him.
Here's a prayer of victory to recite when you feel like life's drowning you and you need God's strength to carry you through.
Dear Heavenly Father:
You are marvelous in all your ways. You care so much about your children and never let us do this thing called life alone. Thank you for being all that you are – a healer, provider, protector, enemy-checker, etc. Thank you for showing me what true love is by unconditionally loving me no matter what I'm doing and look like. Right now, I lay down all of my worries and burdens at your feet, Lord God. You are the ultimate source of strength so in the areas where I'm weak, fill me up with your strength. Your Word says that I can do ALL things through YOU who gives me strength. So right now I confidently declare that I can do EVERYTHING that I'm called to do.
Not only will I make it, but I will come out victorious in your name. Therefore I break the chains of depression, frustration, impatience, insecurity and pride. I break the chains of fear of the unknown and the lack of resources. You've promised that you won't let your children be without and every promise you make is filled, so I know that you will come through with the resources I lack. Thank you for being a promise keeper and my light in every dark tunnel. Thank you for the victory that we know is coming.
In Jesus' name, amen.
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Hailing from Los Angeles, Monique Love is a faith-based, lifestyle writer and founder of the digital magazine, WithLoveByLove.com. Through her writing, she encourages millennial women to boldly love themselves and Christ all while navigating the everyday world. For updates and her latest stories, follow her on Instagram @withlovebylove_ and on her site WithLoveByLove.com.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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How To Tell If You're Disciplining Your Child Or Seeking Revenge
When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images