Michael Ealy On How Important It Was To Learn His Wife's Love Language
On Friday (May 3), The Intruder hits theaters and the film's trailers promise to give us the steamy love scene between Michael Ealy and Meagan Good we didn't know we needed. In the psychological thriller, the stars play a couple who are taking the next step in their relationship and buying their first home, only to find that they are now stuck with an uninvited houseguest from hell.
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While the couple conjured up some major chemistry on-screen for the film, in real life, the stars are both married to partners who they are very much in love with.
Like all couples, celebrities aren't immune to miscommunication. We all have a desire to be loved, but not just any old way. A few years back, the internet was introduced to the concept of love languages by Gary Chapman and had the relationship world shook. It was then that we learned that misunderstandings can happen when it comes to the way we love, too. Michael Ealy, who has been married to his wife, Khatira Rafiqzada, since October 2012, recently sat down with xoNecole and opened up about how learning to love in his wife's language transformed his marriage for the better.
The 45-year-old actor revealed that understanding the way your partner needs to be loved lies in paying attention to the little things. He shared, "There are definitely lessons that come with staying with somebody and living with someone. Most of it is learning how to meet them at their level. Right? So for my wife, celebrating her birthday and I think certain other holidays really matter to her. They don't, to me. My birthday could come and go. It doesn't matter to me."
Instagram/@MichaelEaly
According to Michael, the key to a lasting relationship is knowing when to put your partner's needs before your own, even if that means taking time to celebrate special occasions you never may have cared about before. He shared that although he never put much importance on his birthday, understanding the sentimental value that certain holidays have for his wife made him change his perspective.
"I had to not approach her birthday in the way in which I approach mine. That was a hard lesson to learn and it took me a couple of years to figure it out. Because it was important to her, I realize, yeah, this is who you married. Like you married someone who, for whatever reason, this matters to them."
Michael says that being conscious of what matters to your partner is important because although certain acts of love may be menial to you, they can mean the world to the person you love. The Intruder actor told xoNecole, "So I have to kind of put aside whatever philosophy I have to kind of get through my life and any holidays in my world and be like, 'okay, this matters to you. I'm going to do whatever it takes so that you can be happy on this day because it makes you feel heard.'"
Spoken like a true heartthrob.
His co-star, Meagan, who has also been married to her husband, author and TV producer, Devon Franklin for the past five years, added to this sentiment and revealed the most important lesson she's learned since becoming a wife. The actress explained, "One of the biggest things I've learned is that you cannot love somebody the way you want to be loved. You have to love them the way they want to be loved, and vice versa. And you guys have to learn each other's language."
Although initially, she and her husband had to make some adjustments and compromises when it came to their lifelong union, she learned that real love can come of a number of different packages and they won't all be something you're used to; and that's OK.
Watch the video of the actors' candid conversation with us below.
MICHAEL EALY REVEALS THE HARD LESSON HE LEARNED IN HIS MARRIAGEyoutu.be
The Intruder hits theaters on Friday!
Featured image by Instagram/@MichaelEaly.
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Sheila Rashid's Androgynous Approach To Unisex Clothing Is A Lesson In Embracing Individuality
The ItGirl 100 List is a celebration of 100 Black women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table.
For Sheila Rashid, it all started with some free-hand drawings and a few strokes of paint.
The Chicago-based clothing designer and creative director of Sheila Rashid Brand recalls using her spare time in high school to hand paint designs on t-shirts and distressed hoodies, distributing them to classmates as walking billboards for her art.
Rashid sought to pursue fashion design at Columbia College in Chicago but eventually took the self-taught route to build upon her knack for crafting one-of-a-kind, androgynous pieces.
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Thanks to the mentorship of local designers taking her under their wings, Rashid was able to gain valuable experience in putting together collections and creating patterns; equipping her with them with the necessary skills to pursue her own collections.
After two years of living in New York, Rashid returned home to the Chi and uncovered the unique flair she could offer the city. “I moved to New York after that because I wanted to be in the fashion capital world,” she tells xoNecole. “That's when I really got a leg up. I found myself when I moved back to Chicago after moving to New York.”
For the Midwest native, inspiration comes from her time around creative peers and the city’s notorious winters — known to be a main character in many Chicagoans stories. “It's a different perspective and mindset when I'm making stuff because of the weather here,” she explains. “When we get summer, it’s ‘Summertime Chi’ — it's amazing. It's beautiful. Still, I find myself always making clothes that cater to the winter.”
"I moved to New York after that because I wanted to be in the fashion capital world. That's when I really got a leg up. I found myself when I moved back to Chicago after moving to New York.”
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Many designers have a signature aesthetic or theme in their creations. In Rashid’s design story, dancing between the lines of femininity and masculinity is how she’s been able to distinguish herself within the industry. Her androgynous clothing has garnered the eye of celebrities like Zendaya, Chance the Rapper, WNBA star Sydney Colson, and more — showing her range and approach to designs with inclusivity in mind.
“I think I do reflect my own style,” she says. “When I do make pieces, I'm very tomboyish, androgynous. My work is unisex because I feel like everybody can wear it. I cater to everybody and that's how I try to approach my clothes.” From denim to overalls, and color-drenched outerwear, Rashid has mastered the structure of statement pieces that tell a story.
“Each collection, I never know what's going to be the thing I'm going to focus on. I try to reflect my own style and have fun with the storytelling,” she shares. “I look at it more like it's my art in this small way of expressing myself, so it's not that calculated.”
"My work is unisex because I feel like everybody can wear it. I cater to everybody and that's how I try to approach my clothes."
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Still, if you were able to add up all the moments within Rashid’s 20-year career in design, one theme that has multiplied her into becoming an “ItGirl” is her confidence to take up space within the fashion industry as a queer, Black woman. “Being an ItGirl is about being yourself, loving what you do, finding your niche, and mastering that,” she says.
No matter where you are on your ItGirl journey, Rashid says to always remain persistent and never hesitate to share your art with the world. “Don’t give up. Even if it's something small, finish it and don't be afraid to put it out,” she says, “It's about tackling your own fear of feeling like you have to please everybody, but just please yourself, and that's good enough.”
To learn more about the ItGirl 100 List, view the full list here.
Featured image Courtesy