Eve Takes Off Makeup For The First Time In Public And Reminds Us That It's Sometimes Just A Security Blanket
"People are so used to seeing you made up that it feels like taking off a mask when you go without makeup."
My insecurity blanket comes in 220M, with enough concealer to hide the scars of teenage angst on my cheeks, and mink eyelashes to seal the beat. Makeup itself isn't an insecurity blanket, but the dependency I developed to create an image for myself; the mask I wore in public was to hide the very parts of who I was - my scars, my imperfections, my minute details - that could help me connect, vulnerably, with others. What don't we let people see? In the question reveals the answer that can bring us a surge of evolution.
In a recent episode of The Talk, rapper and actress Eve blessed the show with her beautiful and bare presence.
During the segment five women on the show revealed what they looked like without makeup, and Eve's testament was not only relatable, but a truth on how we can choose external dependencies to perpetuate the need of upholding an image for ourselves. This image can be so connected to us that when we remove the attachment, we are left to look at ourselves, bare, naked, and vulnerable, in the mirror.
Do we self-identify with this woman? Do we love her just the same? Are we able to treat her gently and kindly without the wardrobe we dressed her in?
"It became a security blanket. I've been in the business most of my life, from a young age. I wore makeup for everything. Every time I was in public I had on makeup and it became like putting on a bra in the morning. I wake up I get dressed I put on a bra I put on makeup. But then also it became something that I guess, I started seeing flaws that I didn't want other people to see. So I was like okay let me cover this up because if someone sees me outside I didn't want to be like 'that's not what she looks like'. I was scared of that, I don't want to be scared of that no more."
Eve's words made me think: more often than not we become habitual in the process of creating a mask because of the perception others will hold of us.
For the professional environments that we inhabit, we are consistently catering to the "mask" we've created. Sometimes, I've felt that showing up to work without makeup is unprofessional.
It made me question if others would notice the lack of upkeep and therefore pull me to the side and ask, "Is everything okay, Olivia Jade?"
As simple as it is to not wear makeup for a day, for those of us who have embedded it into our everyday self-care routine, it's the revealing of what lies beneath that can feel vulnerable. But finding the evolution in the fear, in the baring of our true selves, is what really helps us to grow into our identity and connect with others in their own.
On The Talk, Sheryl Underwood made it a point to only make half of her face up and leave the remaining half bare.
During her confessional, she revealed that the natural side of her face was the woman that built herself up and rooted herself in the authenticity of who she is, and the made-up side was the woman who accepted the bare Sheryl and also enjoyed getting cute for her role.
It was a lesson in duality - that you can exist as the beautiful being you are with or without the wardrobe that you create for yourself.
When I was able to differentiate my need for an insecurity blanket and the innocent desire of enjoying getting dolled up as an act of self-care, I was able to embrace the same lesson that Sheryl touched base on. Knowing the beauty that lies with in, and also knowing the difference between attachment and dependency on one side of the spectrum is maintaining a healthy balance and a healthy relationship with self.
True evolution is deconstructing the idea we have of ourselves to reveal who we truly are to others.
For those of us who have created a mask for ourselves - an image that we need to uphold, whether it be makeup, a persona we've created, or the clothes that we wear - learning how to let go of that blanket in order for us to show others what they don't see connects us on a deeper level than we could imagine.
Catch the candid conversation on The Talk in full below.
Olivia Jade is a writer and creative engineer, intersecting wellness, culture, womanism, and self-development. She waters the flowers in her mind so others can recognize their own internal garden. Link up: @akaoliviajade (Twitter and IG) oliviajade.co
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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How A Stay At Switzerland's Luxurious 7132 Hotel Reminded Me To Live The Life I Deserve
Sometimes, as women—especially as single Black women—we simply need to be reminded that we are deserving of living a life we dream of. Even if that means creating it for ourselves. I recently set out on a weeklong trip to Switzerland, a trip I’ve been wanting to take for years, and near the end of my visit, I had an epiphany.
“DeAnna, this is the life you deserve,” I thought to myself as I took in the gorgeous bathroom in my suite at the famous 7132 Hotel and Thermal Spa. It was one of the most luxurious hotels (and bathrooms) I had ever stayed in—and that’s saying a lot for someone who often travels for work.
To help you better understand why this was such a mental awakening for me, I first need to give a bit of my backstory. I’m in my late thirties. I’m an attorneyand a journalist. I own a home and have traveled the world extensively. Essentially, I’ve done everything in life I set out to do. However, when it comes to dating, I struggle. Not because there is anything wrong with me per se, but because my career and “lifestyle” often create problems in my romantic relationships.
View from my hotel room
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I’ve been told everything from, ‘I can’t continue to date you because you seem to choose your career over wanting to settle down and have kids’ by a man after only the second date to ‘Maybe if you just sat down somewhere for a while, I’d actually wife you’ by someone who has honestly never proven themselves to be the settle down type. And these are only a handful of the things I’ve been told over the years.
It’s been frustrating, to say the least, and there have even been seasons where I purposely dimmed my light in hopes that my career wouldn’t push away potential suitors. I know what you’re thinking, “Girl, why would you even consider that? If they’re for you, it won’t matter what you do.” Hey, don’t judge me, but also, I one hundred percent agree.
My hotel bathroom
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That’s why this recent moment in Switzerland was right on time. When I first walked into the hotel to check in, I was blown away by the surrounding beauty. It was a five-star property with one of the world’s most famous thermal bathhouses. Yet, it was something about seeing that 90% of the hotel’s guests were couples, that forced me to sit back for a bit of introspection—while soaking in the thermal spa, of course.
As I went through the mental conversation, there was a battle of sorts. On one hand, I knew that being able to partake in experiences like the one I was having at that moment was important to me. I knew that, at times I actually love being able to dabble in the finer things—after all, I’ve worked hard to be able to afford them. On the other hand, and sadly, I knew that sometimes being a single Black woman that publicly showcases her “luxurious” habits can intimidate men and even scare them off from pursuing you under the guise of them feeling like they “can’t do anything for you, because you have everything.”
My hotel room
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So, what is a girl to do?
Do I minimize/hide the life and experiences that I have? Do I play down the hard work I’ve put in to get where I am professionally? Or, do I risk being single in exchange for being able to have said life, without backlash?
Luckily, the joy that I felt while being at this property won. There was something about taking a full day to simply pamper myself at the bathhouse and in my in-room steam shower and soaker tub, indulging in cuisine from a 2-star Michelin restaurant and doing all of this while surrounded by an amazing group of Black women that reminded me—this is certainly the life I was meant to live and that I deserve. Even if it means that right now, I’ll just have to provide it for myself until the right partner comes along. And honestly, I’m okay with that.
Restaurant at 7132 hotel
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