Lifestyle Blogger Dayna Bolden On How She Balances Her Passion Full Time With Motherhood
xoNecole's Moms Who Inspire series highlights modern day moms mastering all the tasks on their plate, from day to day responsibilities to ensuring their children are kind, educated and well-rounded human beings. Each mother describes their inspiration, what motherhood means to them, and how they maintain their sense of selves while being the superwoman we all know and love.
Although she had always envisioned a life where she was a mother, Dayna Bolden still had her fears in stepping into the role.
It was all about the how. And when she became pregnant, not knowing how to be a mom and change a diaper or soothe a crying baby made her feel like the thing she always dreamed of being would be the thing she'd have trouble excelling at.
But that was proven wrong in no time at all. The millennial mom, wife, beauty and lifestyle content creator, and brand strategist embraced motherhood and quickly discovered how much it'd welcome her back. "No one can really teach you to be a mom, it just occurs naturally and I learned that fast and early," she shared with xoNecole fondly.
Dayna with daughter Aria@vsdavisphotography
As a Mom Who Inspires us, Dayna shares how her love for natural hair and fashion blossomed into a beautiful opportunity for both herself and her family.
On becoming a mother:
I always wanted to be a mom. There was never a doubt in my mind about motherhood. Motherhood means providing and caring for a blessing. It was just a natural progression that my husband and I always wanted. We wanted to have a family.
On how her upbringing influenced how she raises her daughter:
I was raised well, my parents worked extremely hard to provide for me. My parents made so many sacrifices to put me in a private school and paid countless sports fees so that I can be active and in any sport I loved. In raising my daughter Aria, I am doing the same. She's only four, but my husband and I are working our hardest to be able to provide the best for her, always.
On how her career tested her determination:
When I was working full-time in corporate America while balancing my thriving brand. It was extremely hard. I made so many sacrifices and had so many early mornings, but I was determined to succeed with my brand. I was tested the moment I decided to pursue my passion and leave my full-time job.
It was a leap of faith that made me learn how strong I am and how much of a competitor I am.
On what a typical day looks like in her household:
It's always different depending on the nature of my business. I travel a ton, but typical days consist of me waking up my daughter, getting her ready for school, dropping her off, then going to work out. After my workout, I step into my office and become my own boss and work my butt off until it's time to turn into mommy and wife mode at night.
On how she maintains a work/life balance:
Balance is something that's impossible at this point because nothing will never be equal.
For me, it's about prioritizing family and my business.
From 9am-5pm, my business is my priority, and then after that my family is my priority, or vice versa. My priorities change daily, but that's how I stay sane. Not putting so much pressure on myself to make both important aspects of my life equal, but yet prioritizing the moments.
On her favorite thing to do with her daughter:
Honestly, I love lying in bed in the morning, holding her and kissing her. That's my favorite moment of the day. When she wakes up, walks in my room, and gives me a big hug. I hug and kiss my daughter several times a day to where she may think I'm annoying but that's how I express my love. I also always tell her she's beautiful, smart, and funny. Those are my favorite moments.
On the unexpected life lesson her daughter taught her:
To dance like noone is watching. My daughter is so carefree. She literally will dance like no one is watching in a public, crowded place and not have a care in the world.
I love how she just lives life and she's always so happy.
She teaches me that life is short and I need to do the same.
On the moms who inspire her:
I am inspired by my mom, cousins, aunts, and best friends daily! I admire how the women in my life are so hardworking and make sacrifices daily for the well-being of their kids. I want to send praise to all of my amazing mom friends, family, and supporters!
For more Dayna, follow her on Instagram.
Christine Carter is a voice for millennial moms (and uniquely, young black female professionals and mothers). She has been featured in and guest contributed to several global digital publications, including Forbes, TIME, Health, Ebony, Black Bride, Inc., Women's Health and many others.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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How A Stay At Switzerland's Luxurious 7132 Hotel Reminded Me To Live The Life I Deserve
Sometimes, as women—especially as single Black women—we simply need to be reminded that we are deserving of living a life we dream of. Even if that means creating it for ourselves. I recently set out on a weeklong trip to Switzerland, a trip I’ve been wanting to take for years, and near the end of my visit, I had an epiphany.
“DeAnna, this is the life you deserve,” I thought to myself as I took in the gorgeous bathroom in my suite at the famous 7132 Hotel and Thermal Spa. It was one of the most luxurious hotels (and bathrooms) I had ever stayed in—and that’s saying a lot for someone who often travels for work.
To help you better understand why this was such a mental awakening for me, I first need to give a bit of my backstory. I’m in my late thirties. I’m an attorneyand a journalist. I own a home and have traveled the world extensively. Essentially, I’ve done everything in life I set out to do. However, when it comes to dating, I struggle. Not because there is anything wrong with me per se, but because my career and “lifestyle” often create problems in my romantic relationships.
View from my hotel room
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I’ve been told everything from, ‘I can’t continue to date you because you seem to choose your career over wanting to settle down and have kids’ by a man after only the second date to ‘Maybe if you just sat down somewhere for a while, I’d actually wife you’ by someone who has honestly never proven themselves to be the settle down type. And these are only a handful of the things I’ve been told over the years.
It’s been frustrating, to say the least, and there have even been seasons where I purposely dimmed my light in hopes that my career wouldn’t push away potential suitors. I know what you’re thinking, “Girl, why would you even consider that? If they’re for you, it won’t matter what you do.” Hey, don’t judge me, but also, I one hundred percent agree.
My hotel bathroom
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That’s why this recent moment in Switzerland was right on time. When I first walked into the hotel to check in, I was blown away by the surrounding beauty. It was a five-star property with one of the world’s most famous thermal bathhouses. Yet, it was something about seeing that 90% of the hotel’s guests were couples, that forced me to sit back for a bit of introspection—while soaking in the thermal spa, of course.
As I went through the mental conversation, there was a battle of sorts. On one hand, I knew that being able to partake in experiences like the one I was having at that moment was important to me. I knew that, at times I actually love being able to dabble in the finer things—after all, I’ve worked hard to be able to afford them. On the other hand, and sadly, I knew that sometimes being a single Black woman that publicly showcases her “luxurious” habits can intimidate men and even scare them off from pursuing you under the guise of them feeling like they “can’t do anything for you, because you have everything.”
My hotel room
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So, what is a girl to do?
Do I minimize/hide the life and experiences that I have? Do I play down the hard work I’ve put in to get where I am professionally? Or, do I risk being single in exchange for being able to have said life, without backlash?
Luckily, the joy that I felt while being at this property won. There was something about taking a full day to simply pamper myself at the bathhouse and in my in-room steam shower and soaker tub, indulging in cuisine from a 2-star Michelin restaurant and doing all of this while surrounded by an amazing group of Black women that reminded me—this is certainly the life I was meant to live and that I deserve. Even if it means that right now, I’ll just have to provide it for myself until the right partner comes along. And honestly, I’m okay with that.
Restaurant at 7132 hotel
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