Cassandra Hunter is a 26-year-old half black/half Thai Brooklyn-based creative whose strength is storytelling. I fell in like with the budding and beautiful talent when she was recently chosen as one of Refinery29's 19 Most Eligible Bachelorettes in NYC and said her ideal guy would be a "smooth-talking nerd" and uses writing to explore her own humanity. Dope.
As a child, she discovered her loves for acting and writing, and has been dedicated to the pursuit of those crafts. But recently, she has fallen for a different form of media behind the camera as a producer and director. In short--she's a woman of all trades. As for her life ambitions? Dropping knowledge to men and women on the importance of female empowerment for the advancement of gender equality. That's right, she's dope.
I was able to have a quickie with the young queen about her views on sexual liberation and identity. Here are some things she had to say:
xoNecole: What is great sex to you?
Cassandra: Consensual, judgment-free, fun, and with someone that respects you.
xoNecole: I feel sexiest when…
Cassandra: I've showered and brushed my teeth. I know, I know...super sexy answer.
xoNecole: When was the moment that you became sexually liberated?
Cassandra: I don't think there is one specific moment, but rather years of experiencing things that helped me identify what I like and don't like. It wasn't until recently when I took sex out of the equation for a while that I felt liberated. Before, I would find myself in these situations with guys who were just awful jerks: casual racists, watered-down misogynists...that really broke me down, so I took a step back to get a clearer view on things that have made me feel true to myself and my own desires, and I eliminated behaviors that left me feeling hollow. I guess I took the hype out of sex that our society shoves down our throats and learned for myself what I wanted and that it's okay if I don't always have it. It's been a lot of “unlearning" the archaic views on what men and women should be like and allowing myself the freedom to think and feel about things without worrying about slut-shamers.
I don't buy into the double standards where men are encouraged and applauded for having an adventurous sex life while women are chastised for it.
xoNecole: Who are some women that have inspired your sexual liberation and what are some words you would use to describe their embodiment of that?
Cassandra: You're going to laugh because they're so different (laughs). Firstly, it's Tina Fey. Bossypants was like a golden handbook that I read at such a pivotal time. She made me aware of this other type of sexually liberated woman, and that's the woman who's not having a ton of sex and is happy with that. She's selective and doesn't make a fuss about not having it as often as she thinks everyone else is. And then there's of course the wonderful array of female rappers from the early 90s, such as Salt-N-Pepa, Missy Elliott, Lil' Kim, who flipped the script and made music about sex without infantilizing themselves. They talked about sex in this very proud and unapologetic way without feeling like it was written for male attention, but rather female empowerment.
xoNecole: What's your advice to women who want to be more in tune with their sexuality?
Cassandra: Listen to your gut. Be open, but never force yourself to do something just to please someone else. Don't hang out with close-minded people who will encourage you to sexually suppress yourself! They're the worst and they're probably having bad sex. Don't give into slut-shaming and don't box yourself into a category. Sexuality can be fluid so explore what appeals to you, and be safe!
xoNecole: Biggest turn on?
Cassandra: Someone who listens and isn't just waiting to talk again. Someone funny, social, and confident without being cocky.
xoNecole: Turn off?
Cassandra: Catcalling and men who think they are entitled to attention simply because they want to speak to you. Also, long, dirty fingernails.
xoNecole: And what are you up to these days?
Cassandra: I'm an actor and writer, so I keep busy with whatever projects I can get my hands on. Up until now, my background has almost exclusively been fashion related, but I've written a series with my close friend, Richard Lietz, called “No Reason" set to release in Spring 2016. We're previewing the first episode then going the crowdfunding route to complete the rest of production. It's a dark comedy that has a lot to do with sexuality, gender roles, race, and status. I play one of the central characters who helps her closeted best friend by pretending to be his girlfriend. She's actually quite awful in the beginning, but throughout the series she has these moments of redemption as she finds her voice and claps back at others. We start filming in January!
Find Cassandra via her official site or follow her on Instagram @cassandramhunter.
Photography by: Haruka Sakaguchi
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THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Today, that movement has turned into a wig uprising where Black women are able to experiment with colors, styles, and more without causing irreparable damage to our hair. It could even be said that we’ve arrived at a new level of acceptance: one that does not equate love of oneself to one’s willingness or lack thereof to wear her hair the way others deem acceptable. Not even other people who look like us.
However, as with Blackness itself, the issue of Black women’s hair is layered.
On the surface, it’s nothing more than a matter of personal preference. However, in a deeper dive, issues of texture, curl pattern, and of course, proximity to social acceptance, as well as other runoff streams from the waters of racism and patriarchy, rear their heads. The natural hair movement, though a wide-reaching and liberating community builder, also gave way to colorism and often upheld mainstream beauty standards.
Sometimes, favoring lighter-skinned influencers/creators with very specific hair textures, the white gaze leaked into our safe space and forced us to reckon with it. Accurate representations of natural hair in various states of being—undefined curls, kinks, and unlaid edges—are still absent from brand marketing. Protective styles, though intended to provide breaks from styling for our sensitive hair, have become a mask to help our hair be more palatable. A figurative straddle of the fence in order to appease the comfort of others in the face of our hair’s power.
And then there’s the issue of length.
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As a woman who has spent much of the last decade voluntarily wearing her hair in many variations of short hairstyles, from a pixie cut to a curly fro and a sleek bob, what I’ve gleaned throughout the years is that there is a glaring difference between how I am treated when wearing my hair short than when I opt for weaves, extensions or even grow it out slightly longer than my chin.
The differential treatment comes from women and men alike and spans professional and personal settings, including friends, coworkers, and industry peers.
What has become abundantly clear is that long hair is often conflated with beauty, softness, and any number of other words we relate to femininity in a way that short hair is not. That perceived marker of the essence of womanhood shows up in how I am received, communicated with, and complimented.
Even more so than texture, length has a way of deciding who among us is deserving of our attention, affection, and adoration. Whether naturally grown or proudly bought, the commentary around someone’s look or image greatly shifts when “inches” are present.
When it comes to long hair, we really, really do care.
In an effort to understand whether I had simply been misinterpreting the energy around my hair, I decided to take my findings to social media. I began with two side-by-side photos of myself. In both pictures, my hair is straightened; however, in one, I am wearing my signature pixie cut, and in the other, I am wearing extensions.
I posited that treatment based on hair length is a real thing, and what followed was confirmation that I was not alone in my feelings. “Long hair, like light skin, button noses, and being thin are all forms of social capital,” one user commented. “Some Black women enforce the status quo too, why wouldn’t we?”
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This also brought to mind the many times celebrity women (like most recently Beyoncé's Cécred hair tutorial) have done big reveals of their own natural tresses in an attempt to silence any doubt that Black women are able to grow their hair beyond a certain length. Of course, we all know that to be true, so why do we still feel the need to prove it so?
The responses continued to pour in from women of all skin tones, who felt that hair length played a role in people’s treatment of them. “When I have short hair I always feel like people don’t treat me like a woman, they treat me like a kid,” another user commented. “When my hair is long I get a lot more respect for some reason.”
From revelations about feeling invisible to admitted shifts in their own perceived beauty, Black woman after Black woman poured out her experience as it relates to hair length. Though affirmed by their shared realities, knowing that reactions to something so trivial have become yet another hair battle for Black women to fight was disheartening. Though we continue to defy gravity and push the bounds of imagination and creativity by way of our strands, will it always be in response to the idea that we are, somehow, falling short?
Unlike more obvious instances of hair discrimination, the glorification of longer length is sneakier in its connection to Eurocentric beauty standards. Hair commercials, beauty ads, and even hip-hop music have long celebrated the idea of gloriously long tresses while holding onto the ignorant notion that it is inaccessible for Black women.
Even as we continue to fight to prove our hair professional, elegant, and worthy in its natural state to the world at large, we’ve also adopted harmful value markers of our own as a community. It’s evident in how we talk about who has the right to start a haircare line and which influencers we easily platform. It’s evident in the language we use to identify those with long hair versus short hair. And it’s painfully obvious in how we treat one another.
It makes me wonder if India.Arie’s brave rallying cry, almost two decades old in its existence, will ever actually hold true for us. Or will we just continue to invent new ways to uphold the harmful status quo?
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Feature image by Willie B. Thomas/ Getty Images
