Cassandra Hunter is a 26-year-old half black/half Thai Brooklyn-based creative whose strength is storytelling. I fell in like with the budding and beautiful talent when she was recently chosen as one of Refinery29's 19 Most Eligible Bachelorettes in NYC and said her ideal guy would be a "smooth-talking nerd" and uses writing to explore her own humanity. Dope.
As a child, she discovered her loves for acting and writing, and has been dedicated to the pursuit of those crafts. But recently, she has fallen for a different form of media behind the camera as a producer and director. In short--she's a woman of all trades. As for her life ambitions? Dropping knowledge to men and women on the importance of female empowerment for the advancement of gender equality. That's right, she's dope.
I was able to have a quickie with the young queen about her views on sexual liberation and identity. Here are some things she had to say:
xoNecole: What is great sex to you?
Cassandra: Consensual, judgment-free, fun, and with someone that respects you.
xoNecole: I feel sexiest when…
Cassandra: I've showered and brushed my teeth. I know, I know...super sexy answer.
xoNecole: When was the moment that you became sexually liberated?
Cassandra: I don't think there is one specific moment, but rather years of experiencing things that helped me identify what I like and don't like. It wasn't until recently when I took sex out of the equation for a while that I felt liberated. Before, I would find myself in these situations with guys who were just awful jerks: casual racists, watered-down misogynists...that really broke me down, so I took a step back to get a clearer view on things that have made me feel true to myself and my own desires, and I eliminated behaviors that left me feeling hollow. I guess I took the hype out of sex that our society shoves down our throats and learned for myself what I wanted and that it's okay if I don't always have it. It's been a lot of “unlearning" the archaic views on what men and women should be like and allowing myself the freedom to think and feel about things without worrying about slut-shamers.
I don't buy into the double standards where men are encouraged and applauded for having an adventurous sex life while women are chastised for it.
xoNecole: Who are some women that have inspired your sexual liberation and what are some words you would use to describe their embodiment of that?
Cassandra: You're going to laugh because they're so different (laughs). Firstly, it's Tina Fey. Bossypants was like a golden handbook that I read at such a pivotal time. She made me aware of this other type of sexually liberated woman, and that's the woman who's not having a ton of sex and is happy with that. She's selective and doesn't make a fuss about not having it as often as she thinks everyone else is. And then there's of course the wonderful array of female rappers from the early 90s, such as Salt-N-Pepa, Missy Elliott, Lil' Kim, who flipped the script and made music about sex without infantilizing themselves. They talked about sex in this very proud and unapologetic way without feeling like it was written for male attention, but rather female empowerment.
xoNecole: What's your advice to women who want to be more in tune with their sexuality?
Cassandra: Listen to your gut. Be open, but never force yourself to do something just to please someone else. Don't hang out with close-minded people who will encourage you to sexually suppress yourself! They're the worst and they're probably having bad sex. Don't give into slut-shaming and don't box yourself into a category. Sexuality can be fluid so explore what appeals to you, and be safe!
xoNecole: Biggest turn on?
Cassandra: Someone who listens and isn't just waiting to talk again. Someone funny, social, and confident without being cocky.
xoNecole: Turn off?
Cassandra: Catcalling and men who think they are entitled to attention simply because they want to speak to you. Also, long, dirty fingernails.
xoNecole: And what are you up to these days?
Cassandra: I'm an actor and writer, so I keep busy with whatever projects I can get my hands on. Up until now, my background has almost exclusively been fashion related, but I've written a series with my close friend, Richard Lietz, called “No Reason" set to release in Spring 2016. We're previewing the first episode then going the crowdfunding route to complete the rest of production. It's a dark comedy that has a lot to do with sexuality, gender roles, race, and status. I play one of the central characters who helps her closeted best friend by pretending to be his girlfriend. She's actually quite awful in the beginning, but throughout the series she has these moments of redemption as she finds her voice and claps back at others. We start filming in January!
Find Cassandra via her official site or follow her on Instagram @cassandramhunter.
Photography by: Haruka Sakaguchi
RELATED
From the day they met, food has always played a role in their relationship, and working together in the food industry is what we call a full circle moment. Learn more about Bryant and Daniella’s story of finding love with one another.
How they met.
Bryant: We met at a mutual clients’ house. She was doing the lady hair, and I was cooking for the lady. The client sent her downstairs to record me while I was cooking to, I guess, see what I was cooking, and I caught her recording, but we didn't talk. I caught her recording, we laughed it off, and she went about her day.
So I guess that was the first thing that made us interact with each other. A few months down the line, I think she posted something [on social media]. I hopped in her DM and responded to it, and then we decided to just meet up and hang out. I looked at her as an entrepreneur. I'm an entrepreneur. She don’t need nothing. I don’t need nothing. It's good to hang with people who don't need nothing from you.
When we linked up, our chemistry was just so soft and just so nice. She is a great person, but after meeting up with her [for the] first time, she went back to Miami. She came back [to Atlanta], and we just kicked it off that next weekend, and ever since then, we've been locked in.
Daniella: That same client had flew me back in so I knew I had to come up here for work. But I told him that we'll meet up and [go] on a date and see each other again. When that happened, everything else was history. It just happened organically. It wasn’t forced or anything.
Bryant and Daniella Williams
Courtesy
First impressions.
Bryant: I knew for a fact for her to come downstairs and try to record me, I knew that she was brave, and that said a lot about her, because I barely even talk when I'm cooking for my clients. So you have to talk to somebody for them to feel comfortable to play with you, or do certain things. I feel like the client sent her downstairs because she knew that she's an outspoken, bubbly type of person who don't mind laughing it off if she gets caught doing it.
When she came back to Atlanta, she booked me to cook for her family. So while I was cooking for her in the kitchen, the whole time she was in there talking to me. It was like a date in the kitchen, and I cooked her food. Once the food was laid out, I just left. We had a great conversation when I was cooking for her, and also when she came downstairs and tried to record me.
Daniella: I was impressed how he was multitasking because I was asking him deep, interesting questions, and he was cooking the food, and he was still answering my questions. But I was in a relationship at that time, so I wasn't really in tune. It was no emotions. But when I came back and flew in to work, we met with each other.
He came and picked me up from the hotel and we drove around Atlanta, sightseeing. We went to the African club. So when he came downstairs, I was like okay, you not gonna hug me, you not gonna say nothing? He was shocked and we stayed together for like eight or nine hours, and he took me back to the hotel. I think he picked me up around nine at night. He took me back to the hotel around seven in the morning. Then he walked me to my hotel door. He gave me a hug and he gave me a kiss and said, 'I love you.' And I was like, what?
We stayed together for like eight or nine hours, and he took me back to the hotel. I think he picked me up around nine at night. He took me back to the hotel around seven in the morning. Then he walked me to my hotel door. He gave me a hug and he gave me a kiss and said, 'I love you.' And I was like, what?
The one.
Daniella: When we first linked up, he took me around Atlanta. He was soft and gentle. He was a gentleman. He opened the door for me and I never had nobody open the door. He opened the door every single time I was going in and getting out the car, and when we went to that restaurant. I was like, [there’s] something about him, and he was just nice, calm and patient. So I knew he was a little different from what I'm used to.
Bryant: [I knew she was the one by] how she cared so much. She didn't really know me like that. She knew of me, but she cared so much about me. When we first met, she would lay on me and just relax. For someone who just wants to relax on you, that says a lot about them towards you. It wasn't like I had to prove myself and she didn’t have to prove herself with me either. It wasn't nothing like that. We were willing to take whatever came with it. But it just was really a break. It was like the best me meeting a woman because I didn't try.
Any other woman, I might be trying to dress up, take her to this place, I did not try at all. I picked her up and I actually thought that she wasn't gonna go on the date with me because of her status and my status. I'm such a laid back homey dude and she's from Miami. I thought she would be on the City Girls, you gotta do this, do that. But she wasn't. She was the total opposite. She was a homebody, chill, like me.
Bryant and Daniella Williams
Courtesy
Marriage advice for couples.
Bryant: Work together. Communication, put your mind together.
Daniella: And keep your family out your business.
Bryant: Keep it private please. Y'all work it out first. When y'all make sure it's solidified, then you tell them, or let them find out on their own. Privacy is the most valuable thing.
Daniella: And date each other because people get married and they stop doing the things that they did to get you, or stop doing the things that they did while they were in a relationship with you, before y'all got married. No, do the same thing. For me, I get bored easy, and I think he knows that. So just keep it spicy. Keep it interesting.
Bryant: We like spontaneous stuff like last-minute trips, trying different foods, going out the country just off a spur of a moment. You gotta make it fun. Don't just make it all business. And I think one person out of the relationship needs to take the initiative to make sure their partner is relaxing and at peace. A lot of people carry functional depression to where they’re functional, like we're doing this right now, but they can be going through something.
I don't think it's male or female. I think whichever one, the other partner should notice it and work with their partner to get through whatever they get through, like, for postpartum depression and stuff. That's something that most men don't even really know exist, but that's something when she had our daughter, I had an anti-postpartum depression plan put in place for her. She didn't know about it, but I knew I was gonna be extra sweet to her.
She won't have to think about doing nothing with the little baby. My little girl was watching the football game with me, when she was a few weeks old, because I was giving her that peace, so she can just relax, because her body has been through so much. So you got to be considerate of your mate's mental state and their mental well-being, because when it's gone, it's gone and it takes a lot to get it back, so I think that's important.
When she had our daughter, I had an anti-postpartum depression plan put in place for her. She didn't know about it, but I knew I was gonna be extra sweet to her. She won't have to think about doing nothing with the little baby. My little girl was watching the football game with me, when she was a few weeks old, because I was giving her that peace, so she can just relax, because her body has been through so much.
If you see something not right with your spouse, help them get help. It's okay for them to talk to a therapist by themselves, or it's okay for them to talk to somebody, but don't just sit there and let them go into this decline and self-destruction. I think that's the most important, because sometimes she be overwhelmed, and I have to be that person to hold her up. And then sometimes I'm overwhelmed. To her, baby, I don't want to do this no more. She's like, you gonna do this. We gonna do this. And she reminds me who I am. I remind her who she is, and we come back feeling more motivated.
Daniella: I think business owners should date business owners because they understand your hustle, your hunger. They understand when you can have a day where you make $0 and you have a day when you make $1,000. But I feel like if you dating someone who is in corporate America, and you a business owner, there's going to be a lot of friction, a lot of tension, and I just feel like I want to date someone that has the same drive as me.
Because I don't want to feel like I'm trying to build a bear, build a man, and I have to pull you and drag you, or just being with somebody who got they self together. For instance, my last relationship. I won't say I was the breadwinner, but I was kind of established, and I felt like I was sleeping with the enemy. I was growing fast and I wasn't stagnant. I was trying to get to the next level. He started to be jealous of me and I feel like a lot of women deal with men trying to be jealous of them. Men also have ego issues where they don't really want their woman making a certain amount of money or making more money than them.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image courtesy