
Superfoods. What exactly are they? I'm gonna be real with you—the term itself is one that is used in marketing. Basically, it's a word to let you know when a particular food is so high in nutrients that it's basically off the charts. Well today, I'm gonna take out a moment to share with you 10 foods that make the superfood list. All of them are rich in vitamins and minerals. All of them come with loads of health benefits. And all of them are pretty damn good, both to and for you, from the very moment you put them into your mouth.
If something that you really want to focus more on right through here is being more proactive when it comes to your overall health and well-being, here are some of the foods that will totally have your back. (Oh, and the specific food dishes that I recommend in this? Click on the hyperlinks because they are connected to actual recipes. You can thank me later, chile.)
1. Mushrooms
Here's something that I'll share from personal experience. While my health is actually pretty good, something that I've had for years is a fungal infection. It's resulted in me having more yeast infections back in the day than I would like and even a couple of bouts of tinea versicolor (by the way, I read that a Black woman has recently invented a cream that combats this particular fungal infection; you can get more info on that here). Anyway, what does all of this have to do with this list? Well, while mushrooms are considered to be a superfood, they are also a fungus. Sooooo…if you're also sensitive to fungi, you might wanna pass on (or at least eat less of) 'em.
For everyone else, mushrooms contain all sorts of health benefits. They are packed with antioxidants including selenium. Selenium is dope because it decreases your chances of developing certain cancer cells, helps to prevent heart disease, reduces mental decline, promotes thyroid health and helps to boost your immune system. Some other awesome things about mushrooms is they contain a good amount of vitamins B and D, copper and potassium and the soluble fiber beta glucan which helps to reduce the risk of type 2 diabetes. If you've got inflammatory issues, mushrooms also have the antioxidant ergothioneine which helps to lower inflammation and, as a bonus, ergothioneine can also slow down aging signs from the inside out. All of these are solid reasons to make yourself some homemade stuffed mushrooms tonight, don't cha think?
2. Sweet Potatoes
Sweet potatoes are considered to be a "perfect food" because, so much of what our bodies need, on a daily basis, is found in one. For starters, sweet potatoes contain an incredible amount of vitamins A, B, C and E, along with iron, calcium, selenium, choline, magnesium and antioxidants. Every time you eat a sweet potato, you are taking proactive measures to manage your blood sugar, reduce your stress levels, fight bodily inflammation, prevent ulcers and, thanks to the antimicrobial properties that are also in sweet potatoes, they can help to protect your body from the bacteria that can ultimately lead to pneumonia. Not to mention the fact that the Vitamin C in this vegetable can help to produce collagen to give your skin a healthy glow while its Vitamin E can help to keep your skin and hair moisturized. All of this is a good enough reason to make yourself a baked sweet potato or some sweet potato fries ASAP.
3. Pomegranates
Pomegranates are the kind of fruit that you have to get on in the fall if you want to gain all of the nutrients that it has to offer. That's because pomegranates are at their peak between September thru November (although sometimes you can catch a good batch well into January). Personally, one of my favorite things about them is, in Jewish culture, one of the things that they represent is love and fertility.
However, as far as health benefits go, pomegranates are high in Vitamin C, fatty acids, and antioxidants (three times the amount of red wine, in fact). They also contain vitamins E and K, fiber, folate, and potassium. Eating pomegranates will help to reduce chronic inflammation, properties that help to prevent breast (and prostate) cancer, arthritis, and blood pressure. There are even studies to support that pomegranates can help to improve your memory and reduce oxidative stress so that it's easier to conceive. All that from a fruit that contains approximately 613 tiny little seeds in them. A great way to get pomegranate power into your system is to drink pomegranate juice (not drink; pure organic juice) which you can usually find in your local grocery store.
4. Bone Broth
As a doula, if there's one thing that I recommend the moms that I work with consume, it's bone broth. Basically, it's the stock that comes from the meaty bones and connective tissue that are left over after doing things like boiling ribs (before baking or grilling) or preparing some homemade chicken soup. The health benefits of bone broth are numerous. The amino acids in bone broth will boost your immune system and help to increase muscle mass. The L-glutamine in it will reduce gut inflammation. The calcium, Vitamin D, zinc and iron will help to keep your bones nice and strong. Also, on the nutrient tip, bone broth contains vitamins A, B, C, K and copper and boron. If you're dehydrated, bone broth's got plenty of electrolytes. Other properties in it can help to improve your quality of sleep, build stronger nails, provide arthritic and joint pain relief and, help to lighten heavy menstrual cycles too.
If you're not a vegetarian or vegan, you can get an easy-to-make recipe for bone broth here. If you happen to not eat meat, there are meat-free alternatives. Click here to make vegetarian bone broth and here to make vegan bone broth.
5. Cauliflower
Often considered to be the "white half-sibling" of broccoli (LOL), cauliflower contains all kinds of great goodness! It's rich in vitamins B, C and K, magnesium, manganese, potassium, fiber and phosphorus. Some valid perks that come with consuming cauliflower is it's the kind of veggie that is low in carbs and gluten-free (which is why so many people enjoy cauliflower rice). Also, it's got antioxidants in it to help fight off free radicals, promote healthy gut bacteria (remember that 80 percent of your immunity is within your gut) and, along with the flavonoids and carotenoids in this veggie, it can also help to keep cancer cells at bay. Cauliflower also contains choline to boost brain health while the iron in it can help your body to better absorb iron if you happen to be anemic or borderline anemic. Plus, the Vitamin K in cauliflower supports long-term bone health. So, how about making a pizza with some cauliflower crust soon?
6. Arugula
Arugula is a green that comes from the Mediterranean region. If you've never tasted it before, it has an acquired light peppery taste. Arugula is loaded with calcium, potassium, folate, zinc, iron, phosphorus and vitamins A, C and K. And, while all greens are really good for you, arugula makes the superfood list because it helps to strengthen your heart; keeps free radicals from attacking sensitive areas like your eyes; controls your blood pressure; aids in digestion; speeds up the healing process of skin ailments such as eczema and acne; enhances your athletic performance and, it's an excellent detoxifier. Honestly, that's just the tip of the iceberg (no pun intended) of this green vegetable. Yet if you're someone who enjoys fresh salads, add some arugula to them. You'll literally be eating a multi-vitamin, every time you do it.
7. Ginger
Ginger is a spice that, I'd actually be pretty shocked if you didn't know that it's wonderful at treating nausea (or morning sickness, if you're pregnant). Oh, but it does a whole lot more than that. The gingerol that's in it contains powerful medicinal properties. Because of this, ginger can reduce muscular pain and discomfort, lower blood sugar levels, soothe the discomfort that's associated with chronic indigestion and help to relieve menstrual cramps too. As if that's not awesome enough, ginger also helps to hinder the growth of abnormal cells (that could lead to cancer), helps to improve cognitive health and, it can even inhibit the growth of certain bacteria. So, why not treat your body by making yourself a cup of ginger tea? With some honey and lemon, while it's pretty spicy, it's also pretty damn good too.
8. Pears
Pears are another one of those fruits that are best bought and eaten in the fall; that's because they are in season from August thru October. They top the list of being one of the healthiest foods in the world because they are high in fiber, plus they've got a good amount of Vitamin C and copper in them as well.
Thanks to the fiber, they help to promote good gut health. Pears also have plant compounds in them; ones that will help to keep your skin glowing and your vision clear. Since they're also rich in the flavonoid antioxidant, pears can reduce bodily inflammation and help to fight the development of cancer cells. Also, the procyanidin antioxidants in this fruit can improve heart health while the nutrients zeaxanthin and lutein will keep your hair and skin looking and feeling healthy. A pear right out of your fruit bowl is good all on its own, but something that tastes absolutely amazing is fresh pear preserves.
9. Buckwheat
While growing up, something that my mother used to make, fairly often, was buckwheat pancakes. I actually liked them a lot. If you're familiar with buckwheat but you're not exactly sure what it is, it's considered to be a superfood because it's on the whole grain list. It has a good amount of protein and fiber in it, along with a high amount of potassium, phosphorus and magnesium. Some other nutrients that are found in this particular grain include calcium, iron, various kinds of Vitamin B and some Vitamin K too. Because whole grains are linked to good heart health, that's one reason to add buckwheat to your diet. Also, the fiber in it helps to aid in digestion and support weight loss. If you've got diabetes and you want to help to keep it in check, this is a grain that is also a complex carb; complex carbs help to manage glucose levels. And, since buckwheat is gluten-free, you can enjoy it, stress-free, if you happen to be allergic to wheat or barley. All good reasons to give this awesome whole grain a try.
10. Dark Chocolate
There really is no tellin' how many times I've written a health-related article and dark chocolate has gotten a shout-out in it. That's because it's the kind of food that is just that bomb! It's really high in fiber, manganese, copper, iron and magnesium. Believe it or not, dark chocolate has some fatty acids and antioxidants in it too. All of these things work together to lower your cholesterol and blood sugar levels, boost your immunity, reduce your heart disease risk, protect your skin from damaging UV rays and improve your cognitive function. Not only that but the theobromine compound (which is found in the cacao plant) along with the chemical phenethylamine that's also in dark chocolate can help to prevent depression.
Also, here's something that's a trip—theobromine has the ability to calm down your vagus nerve. Why does that matter? Your vagus nerve is what causes you to cough whenever your throat is irritated, so basically, dark chocolate serves as a cough suppressant too!
Just make sure that you get the kind of dark chocolate that contains at least 60 percent cocoa because, in order to gain all of these benefits, you need to eat pure dark chocolate, not a Snickers candy bar. Oh, but if you do, you will be partaking in the kind of superfood that will be looking out for you and your overall health and well-being for years to come. So, get to a store and cop you some ASAP. That and the rest of what's on this superfood list, sis!
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Exclusive: Viral It Girl Kayla Nicole Is Reclaiming The Mic—And The Narrative
It’s nice to have a podcast when you’re constantly trending online. One week after setting timelines ablaze on Halloween, Kayla Nicole released an episode of her Dear Media pop culture podcast, The Pre-Game, where she took listeners behind the scenes of her viral costume.
The 34-year-old had been torn between dressing up as Beyoncé or Toni Braxton, she says in the episode. She couldn’t decide which version of Bey she’d be, though. Two days before the holiday, she locked in her choice, filming a short recreation of Braxton’s “He Wasn’t Man Enough for Me” music video that has since garnered nearly 6.5M views on TikTok.
Kayla Nicole says she wore a dress that was once worn by Braxton herself for the Halloween costume. “It’s not a secret Toni is more on the petite side. I’m obsessed with all 5’2” of her,” she tells xoNecole via email. “But I’m 5’10'' and not missing any meals, honey, so to my surprise, when I got the dress and it actually fit, I knew it was destiny.”
The episode was the perfect way for the multihyphenate to take control of her own narrative. By addressing the viral moment on her own platform, she was able to stir the conversation and keep the focus on her adoration for Braxton, an artist she says she grew up listening to and who still makes her most-played playlist every year. Elsewhere, she likely would’ve received questions about whether or not the costume was a subliminal aimed at her ex-boyfriend and his pop star fiancée. “I think that people will try to project their own narratives, right?” she said, hinting at this in the episode. “But, for me personally – I think it’s very important to say this in this moment – I’m not in the business of tearing other women down. I’m in the business of celebrating them.”
Kayla Nicole is among xoNecole’s It Girl 100 Class of 2025, powered by SheaMoisture, recognized in the Viral Voices category for her work in media and the trends she sets on our timelines, all while prioritizing her own mental and physical health. As she puts it: “Yes, I’m curating conversations on my podcast The Pre-Game, and cultivating community with my wellness brand Tribe Therepē.”
Despite being the frequent topic of conversation online, Kayla Nicole says she’s learning to take advantage of her growing social media platform without becoming consumed by it. “I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out,” she says.
On The Pre-Game, which launched earlier this year, she has positioned herself as listeners “homegirl.” “There’s definitely a delicate dance between being genuine and oversharing, and I’ve had to learn that the hard way. Now I share from a place of reflection, not reaction,” she says. “If it can help someone feel seen or less alone, I’ll talk about it within reason. But I’ve certainly learned to protect parts of my life that I cherish most. I share what serves connection but doesn’t cost me peace.
"I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out."

Credit: Malcolm Roberson
Throughout each episode, she sips a cocktail and addresses trending topics (even when they involve herself). It’s a platform the Pepperdine University alumnus has been preparing to have since she graduated with a degree in broadcast journalism, with a concentration in political science.
“I just knew I was going to end up on a local news network at the head anchor table, breaking high speed chases, and tossing it to the weather girl,” she says. Instead, she ended up working as an assistant at TMZ before covering sports as a freelance reporter. (She’s said she didn’t work for ESPN, despite previous reports saying otherwise.) The Pre-Game combines her love for pop culture and sports in a way that once felt inaccessible to her in traditional media.
She’s not just a podcaster, though. When she’s not behind the mic, taking acting classes or making her New York Fashion Week debut, Kayla Nicole is also busy elevating her wellness brand Tribe Therepē, where she shares her workouts and the workout equipment that helps her look chic while staying fit. She says the brand will add apparel to its line up in early 2026.
“Tribe Therepē has evolved into exactly what I have always envisioned. A community of women who care about being fit not just for the aesthetic, but for their mental and emotional well-being too. It’s grounded. It’s feminine. It’s strong,” she says. “And honestly, it's a reflection of where I am in my life right now. I feel so damn good - mentally, emotionally, and physically. And I am grateful to be in a space where I can pour that love and light back into the community that continues to pour into me.”
Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
Featured image by Malcolm Roberson
What Is A 'Vulnerable Narcissist'? How It Creeps Up In Female Friendships.
Narcissist. Boy, if there is a word that has been used — and, in many ways, misused — to death, especially on social media, that would be the one. I say that because the folks who think that just because a relationship didn’t go as planned, or they no longer gel with someone, that it must be because that person is a narcissist? Whew, chile.
So, let me just say before we get into today’s topic that one, I won’t really be referring to narcissistic personality disorder; people who have that are diagnosed by professionals — not randoms on social media who like to Google a lot. Nah, this is more about how some individuals display several traits of being narcissistic — and for the sake of this article, the traits of being a vulnerable narcissist, specifically.
I was inspired to write this because, recently, while reading about eight types of narcissists and what their traits consist of, I revisited what a vulnerable narcissist is all about. Then, as I connected some dots via another piece that I read about how it shows up in female friendships — well, because this is a platform for Black women, I definitely wanted to put y’all on notice. Because when it comes to toxic friendships (which really is a bit of an oxymoron, isn’t it?), there is probably nothing worse than having a narcissist friend — someone who displays traits like being highly self-centered, pretty apathetic, and constantly gaslighting those around them.
Okay, so what’s the difference between a “regular” narcissist and a vulnerable one? Yeah, let’s get into that now because I’ve got a feeling that some light bulbs are going to go on for a few of you…as it relates to at least one of your current…“friendships.”
So Basically, a Vulnerable Narcissist Is the Same Thing As a Covert One
GiphyIf you check out the article, “Science Says That Happy Couples Do The Following 7 Things” on this platform, one thing that you will notice that I said is, since I’ve been a marriage life coach, I’ve not really been big on using the word “vulnerable” when it comes to serious relationships. Charge it to being a writer who takes words pretty literally (dictionary-defined ones, not what social media makes up from year to year) yet I’ve never understood why we should encourage people to be vulnerable with someone who they deeply trust.
I say that because I know that vulnerable means things like “capable of or susceptible to being attacked, damaged, or hurt” and “open to moral attack, criticism, temptation, etc.” And although I get that no one is perfect, if you feel like dealing with those closest to you requires taking this level of an emotional risk, on a fairly consistent basis? In my opinion, that is a dark orange flag, if not a flat-out red one.
I’ve said before that my preferred word is “dependent” because it means “relying on someone or something else for aid, support, etc.” — and healthy relationships? They absolutely should be INTERDEPENDENT. Yeah, whether it’s romantic, familial or a friendship — why are you out here feeling like sharing yourself makes you open to attack and harm when you should be involved with individuals who can be relied on for support? See the difference? And that is why a vulnerable narcissist makes sense to me — since a narcissist is unsafe, by the very definitions of vulnerable, a vulnerable one would be too. Even more so, in fact.
Here's the clincher, though. Even if you’ve never heard of a vulnerable narcissist before, I’m willing to bet that some of you have heard of a covert narcissist, which is basically the same thing. The fascinating thing about a covert narcissist is they are more subtle than some of the other types — which is exactly how they are able to trip folks up. Because although they need lots of attention and they tend to act really self-important (like all narcissists do), a covert narcissist moves in some pretty sneaky ways.
For instance, they might go really heavy on what seems like compliments (more on that in a sec) in order to make you think that they admire you when, really, they just want to get your guard down in order to get whatever they want out of you. Another example of a covert narcissist is they might act like they are proud of something you accomplished; however, they are actually sticking close by to get some of your contacts or to work themselves into the successful world that you created, so that they can actually compete with you. One more example of a covert narcissist is if they don’t get their way, they may ghost you for days, weeks or months at a time and then be all passive aggressive about it whenever they resurface.
And why are they like this? Because vulnerable/covert narcissists get off on gaslighting — they want you to feel like you are crazy for thinking what is, 8.5/10, spot-on about them. That way, you can be the villain and they can play the victim — even though it’s probably the exact opposite that is actually going on. They do this because, ultimately, to boost their ego. For a narcissist, pretty much of any kind, game-playing is what fuels them and makes them bigger in their minds than they actually are (or even deserve to be).
10 Dead-Ringer Signs of a Vulnerable Narcissist
GiphyOkay, so even with all of what I just said, what if you’re like, “Shellie, I think I get it, but I need a few more examples of what you’re saying”? I hear you and I’ve got you. Some other ways that vulnerable narcissists like to show up and out?
- They are hypercritical and condescending
- They act like they are allergic to accountability
- Their expectations are unreasonable (and hypocritical)
- They are walking contradictions
- They want to be the center of attention (and while monopolize things
- They are masters at giving others the silent treatment
- Their expectations are unrealistic and their demands are ridiculous
- They deflect instead of apologize
- They flatter (use fluffy and insincere words) yet don’t affirm or compliment (yes, there is a difference)
- They lack empathy or humility
And why — or even how — would you be a friend with someone like this? Well, the other thing that you have to keep in mind about narcissism is they are excellent at using charm to their advantage. Charming people tend to come off as being charismatic and witty. Charming people seem to be really interested in you (at least initially). Charming people have a way of making you feel very comfortable around them. At first, charming people seem genuine, attentive and respectful. And they definitely make a good impression — sometimes one that is so solid that you keep going back to that memory during the “bad times” with them.
Hmph. The thing that you have to always keep in mind when it comes to charm, though, is what Scripture says about it: “Charm is deceitful…” (Pr. 31:30) — and that is just what a narcissist is: deceptive.
And when it comes to a vulnerable narcissist and her friendships with other women? The deceptive runs deep.
How a Vulnerable Narcissist Shows Up Especially in Female Friendships
GiphyAlways remember that a vulnerable narcissist moves in subtle and sneaky ways. Hmph, that alone should make you want to ponder if you have some female friends who would fit the bill of being a vulnerable narcissist because we do have a way of being clever and ingenious…which are two of the things that come with being a subtle type of individual. And the way that subtle narcissists use their clever and ingenious ways to their advantage? I’ll give you an example.
A former friend of mine who was — and from what I hear, still is — an absolute vulnerable narcissist really wanted me to be her fan rather than her friend. One time, she even invited me to a bachelorette party and said, “You’re the only one here who isn’t a bridesmaid. You should feel honored.” Nah, what you really said is that you don’t truly value what I bring into your life enough to be a bridesmaid but you know I am good for bringing one hell of a gift and cheering you on regardless.
And that’s how a lot of our friendship was — doing way more giving than I was receiving, doing way more listening than leaning and when I would call her out on some of these things, she would either freeze me out or play the victim and act like somehow it was my fault that she wasn’t being a better friend.
Yeah, that’s what you’ve gotta watch about vulnerable narcissists — it is going to be oh so very rare that they will take full accountability for where they have dropped the ball. To them, somehow, it — whatever “it” is — is either going to be your fault or someone else’s. And that’s why, in their eyes, if you were a “real friend” to them, you would coddle them through not meeting your needs instead of expecting them to actually change their ways so that you both could benefit from the relationship.
And why don’t your needs matter? Because, to a vulnerable narcissist, they believe that they are worthy of extra special treatment at all times — think of them like being a bridezilla 24 hours a day. LOL.
And although some of what I said can be nuanced, for the most part, that really is how a vulnerable narcissist tends to make themselves seen and heard in female friendships: treat them like queens and expect to be mere subjects in their court or…why are you around at all, chile?
5 Hacks for Handling a Vulnerable Narcissist
GiphyFeeling triggered? Or better yet, are you feeling like you finally can “scratch the itch” of what you’ve been looking for to describe a certain person (or certain people) in your life goes? If that is the case and although you see some flags, there tends to be at least a little bit of good enough in your dynamic with “your” vulnerable narcissist to not totally break things off (yet), how do you keep a vulnerable narcissist from causing (anymore) harm?
1. Set firm boundaries. The former friend who I just spoke of? It took years to fully and finally unravel out of all of that (pretty much because she took her elitism to “no turning back” levels a few years ago). A part of the reason why is because she’s not the devil; she really isn’t — she’s just a narcissist. So, what I did to make things more bearable for myself for a while was set some emotional boundaries.
Sometimes I had to tell her “no” and provide no explanation behind it (narcissists think that they are owed every damn thing, chile). I refused to be at her beck and call all of the time. When I felt like she was stressing me out, I would take a bit of time off from phone calls or hanging out. Listen, you will never survive a narcissist, of any kind, unless you have some firm and consistent ARTICULATED boundaries set. If you don’t heed any other point, please heed this one.
2. Have consequences in place for when they are broken. There is no point in setting a boundary if there aren’t going to be consequences for when they are broken. So, for instance, if you tell a vulnerable narcissist that you don’t appreciate them not taking accountability for telling your business to a mutual friend (because they are also extremely entitled individuals), you should probably keep your mouth shut around them for a while. Narcissists care more about their present interests than your holistic comfort which is why they tend to do stuff like that (sometimes).
3. Look at patterns over promises. Narcissists are a lot like energy vampires — and something that both of those need is a source of supply to leech off of whether it’s attention, emotional investing, resources…whatever will benefit them and what they are wanting at the time. And that is why they have no problem telling you that they will do something for you…even if they don’t end up following through. They do this because they want you to put enough confidence in them to be willing to go out of your way on their behalf — at least until they get what they need in the moment. Be careful of that. In genuine friendships, you should be able to rely on others just as much as they should be able to rely on you.
4. Choose to not see them as your “safe place.” Remember, narcissists are charming. They can also be witty, fun and totally entertaining to be around. A word that I wouldn’t use for them, though, is “safe.” The former friend who I mentioned? Although she was good at keeping information confidential (which is a safe trait), she couldn’t be relied on when I was hurting because, somehow, she was going to find a way to turn the focus on her (that is unsafe). I mean, rarely could I tell her something and she wasn’t going to turn it into a story about herself. Yeah, narcissists are always on some sort of makeshift stage, chile. And that can be exhausting.
5. Make sure you know what your “breaking point” is. I tell clients often: Be okay with being someone’s consequence sometimes because there may be a chance that they won’t learn any other way. Do I miss that former friend of mine? Eh, by the time that I was done, I was DONE done. However, we had a lot of years between us and so there are memories that get to me on random occasions. And although I don’t hate her and can see her and genuinely care about how she’s doing, we have nowhere to go in the future. She’s always going to want me to do most of the work — and I am no longer interested in doing so. Breaking points are good. They let us know when a chapter in a relationship has…completed itself.
____
An author by the name of Nassim Nicholas Taleb once said, “Love without sacrifice is theft” (that kind of makes me think of the late author Eric Jerome Dickey’s quote, “Sex without love is violence”). At the end of the day, that saying is a good way to “gut check” your relationship with a vulnerable narcissist. Ask yourself if you are basically the only one doing any sacrificing. And if that is indeed the case, is it worth it?
Remember, a vulnerable narcissist thinks that they deserve to be treated better than everyone else — including you. If you want to keep that type of person as a friend, just know what you are getting yourself into. Because since they are probably never going to change, you will be the one who has to.
One way or another, sis. One way or a freakin’ other.
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