This Interior Artist Transformed A Firehouse Into A Dope Home
In xoNecole's quarterly series Dope Abodes, we tour the living spaces of millennial women, where they dwell, how they live, and the things they choose to adorn and share their spaces with.
Outside, the brisk January air sent cold shivers up our spines, but inside Jersey-based interior artist Bailey Li's firehouse station loft, warmth radiated from the bright hues and plush fabrics adorning her space.
Everywhere we looked – the textured, downy sofas in the living room, the canopied bedroom boudoir area, the gilded bar cart – vintage artifacts and structurally bold pieces intermingled in a delicate dance. No piece overpowered the other yet demanded attention in its own right. An artistic oxymoron if you will.
Even warmer than the heat radiating from the clusters of candles arranged throughout her space, Bailey's smile drew us in immediately. "Every time I design a space or paint a technique on a wall, I am tapping into infinite intelligence, source energy, and the pulse of unlimited love that I always have access to. I never want to forget to show love and compassion to others who could very well be out in the world feeling alone and/or suffering from depression— especially Black women. If I had my way, everyone would have a well-designed space that makes them feel extraordinary; I truly believe it's essential to one's well being."
Tell us about yourself.
Photo by Ana Rice for xoNecole
"My clients say that I'm an artist. Lately, many of them have been calling me a 'life-changer', which is music to my ears! That's what this is all about for me – transforming spaces and lives through my artistry. I'd like to think of myself as an interior artist/creative who designs spaces, hand paints walls, makes bespoke chairs, and more. Interior design has helped me uncover my true passion—bringing out the best in people by interpreting who they are at their core and translating that through their environments. The impact that my work has on my clients' lives is truly the reward I seek."
Tell us a bit about what environment you were seeking to create in your space and the thought process behind your decorative choices.
Photo by Ana Rice for xoNecole
"My space is representative of three components: who I was, who I am, and most importantly, who I am becoming! Deep down I've always been fearless, it's just who I am. It's exemplified through my work and now my home. My ability to curate and recreate the old with the new, adding a modern pop to an antique is something I've been doing for over 10 years. The craftsmanship and character of antique and vintage pieces are so intriguing to me.
"The fact that I live in a firehouse loft/art gallery blows my mind. It's a creative live/work loft and it speaks to the artist that I have become. I have pushed myself and stretched myself; as a result, many talents I had no idea I possessed emerged. My bespoke chairs and hand-painted walls have become my canvases. I truly feel like an artist in my home and my artistry is being actualized by the fact that I am able to live and create in the same space."
"It's a creative live/work loft and it speaks to the artist that I have become."
How did you approach finding and financing your place?
Photo by Ana Rice for xoNecole
"I live in a creative live/work art gallery loft located in the Valley Arts District of Orange, New Jersey and I've been renting here for two years. Discovering the Valley Arts District through an organization called Hands Inc. was such a huge breakthrough for me. I am able to lease this beautiful firehouse abode at a reasonable rate. I recommend anyone who is an artist/creative to seek out communities that have active art initiatives in place. They typically offer affordable live/work, loft-style spaces to creatives – it's a great way to gain exposure and be surrounded by like-minded people."
How do you feel your space impacts your mental health and happiness?
Photo by Ana Rice for xoNecole
"The shape of furniture, the colors of the walls and floors, the lighting and arrangement of it allabsolutely influences how we feel and perform on a conscious and subconscious level. I'veincluded subliminal reminders and cues that stimulate positive feelings and thoughts throughoutmy space. For instance, if you look closely at my hand-painted copper colored doorway it hasthe words 'You Are Not Alone' inscribed on it. I painted those words as a reminder to myself thatI am not alone; every waking day is proof that the creator is present."
In addition to an apartment tour, xoNecole was able to sit down with Bailey to discuss her design ethos, neuroaesthetics – the impact of our spaces on the way we feel, and some of her favorites pieces present within her Orange, NJ firehouse station loft:
Vaginas Are Lit
Photo by Ana Rice for xoNecole
"Recently, I did an art exhibition where I featured my art installation, 'Vaginas Are Lit'. I created these paintings on canvases with silhouettes [of vaginas] with antique light switch plates and bulbs that lit up. It was an interactive moment for people since they could actually come into the exhibition and 'turn on' the vaginas. Whoopi Goldberg happened to be a fan of [the installation] and ended up purchasing the first two [pieces], which was a very proud moment [for me]. 'I was like, Oh my God, I'm an artist!'"
Sweet Escape
Photo by Ana Rice for xoNecole
"Growing up, there were times that I didn't have my own room. I remember visiting my sister's friend's house when we were young and seeing her bedroom. It was a little girl's dream come true! She had a canopy bed with drapery to match, beautiful pastel walls, and dolls for days. I remember leaving there feeling sad knowing that my grandparents could not afford to give me a room like that.
"As an adult, I can finally have my version of a dream canopy. It's nothing like that little girl's bedroom, but it certainly represents the girl in me. The feminine canopy is juxtaposed with a masculine leather and sheet metal aviator headboard, gauzy sheer drapery with jute trim and huge industrial style metal light fixtures that I also embellished with jute trim.
Although it's one my favorite areas in my apartment, my boudoir was a painstaking process because I did not know where to put my bedroom in this wide open space. I originally had my bed over by where the living room is, and then I decided that I wanted to switch it up. I created this canopy to give me a little bit of privacy and delineate the areas [in the apartment], but still, leave it wide open."
Something Old, Something New
Photo by Ana Rice for xoNecole
"15 years ago, I bid on [this couch] and it was originally Pepto-Bismol pink! I had it reupholstered in the black velvet that you see here today. It was originally in my showroom for sale and I was so happy no one bought it because… it's mine."
On the Run
Photo by Ana Rice for xoNecole
"In my early twenties, I always dreamt of driving around town in a Vespa wearing high heels; my vintage scooter console satiates that desire! Every time I look at it parked in the middle of my loft, I feel adventurous and free.
"I discovered this vintage scooter console at Sierra Trading, believe it or not. I just fell in love. I had to have it. And, it lights up, which I thought was really cool! In a loft space like this, I thought it was a great aesthetic piece that serves a dual purpose. It's a shelf where I can display my favorite objects – my favorite shoes, my favorite books, stones that I love. Again, [this loft] is an open space and it's very hard to find storage and this [console] can be used to show some of my favorite things."
Indoor Picnic
Photo by Ana Rice for xoNecole
"My dining room table is a unique experience. I don't have room for a full-out dining area, but I did want to create an indoor picnic moment where you can have anything from a romantic dinner to a nice little community area where you can catch up with friends."
Click through for more pics of Bailey's gorgeous live/work loft:
Photo by Ana Rice for xoNecole
Favorite part of your home? My boudoir bedroom area
Favorite song? "Adore" by Prince
Favorite vacation? Tulum, Mexico
Next vacation? Bali and Morocco
Team iPhone or Android? iPhone
Favorite social media platform? Instagram
Favorite hair product(s)? Fermented rice water and African Chebe powder
All photos by Ana Rice
For more Bailey Li, give her a follow on Instagram @interiorista_baileyli and @designedbybaileyli.
Lydia is a recent Ivy League graduate and lifestyle writer based out of NYC. Storytelling her way through her 20-somethings, her lens is all things career, self-care, and #BlackGirlMagic. Meet Lydia on Instagram @hello_lydia.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images