It’s not often we see a grown man remove the "tough guy" stigma and shed a few tears.
Those moments are usually reserved for Super Bowl wins, award shows and maybe reality TV episodes, but we love when we get to see the softer side of a man that’s only revealed when a child comes into the world. But like anyone experiencing the not-so-pleasant joys of labor, any minute leading up to a baby’s arrival is one full of anxiety, excitement, and sometimes, a surprise or two.
As a mother, I can easily say that children do indeed change you for the better. I’ve loved the quote “A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, a home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten and the future worth living for” since joining the Mommy Club back in ‘09 because it’s pretty accurate, but I wanted to get the flip side and ask a few men what their thoughts were on fatherhood.
I was particularly interested in hearing how witnessing the arrival of their sons or daughters changed their perspective on life, so I picked the brain of five awesome fathers I know to get some answers. Check them out below.
Irving on the birth of his daughter, Sofia Catalina:
Where do I start? It’s takes a real man to be able to deliver a baby, especially when it’s your own. So many things can go wrong, but all you can do is stay positive. There is nothing more beautiful than to be front row and witness life being born. Me and Carol used a midwife, so our birth was natural–no pitocin or epidural were used. It was a one-on-one experience and I had to be there in the moment and make sure I was her back bone. The times she felt that she couldn't do it, I never once gave up on her. I helped in making her realize that we as a team could do this.
Birth is not a one-sided journey–you should always have a partner (husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, family member), someone that will help you progress. The whole journey changed my relationship with Carol for the better and it also made us stronger as a couple. It made us love our daughter so much more. I think it changed a lot in me. I don’t just have to worry about me; I have to worry about my daughter. Any decision I make that can negatively affect her. I don’t go out as much and when I spend time with friends, I try and spend more time with friends who have kids because they understand what you’re going through. I’m so excited to be able to mold my daughter into something great and see what kind of person she will become.
Rob on being a father of the Fantasic Four:
During labor, a lot of things were running through my mind. I kept telling myself not to cry, but instead be happy that my first born is coming into the world. The minute I saw my first born arrive, I knew that my life was changing. I immediately cried and realized that I am a father. I considered myself a father raising my stepson at eight months, but to see your son born is a totally different feeling. It is a feeling until this day that is indescribable.
Fatherhood is a great feeling, especially to four beautiful kids. I feel blessed to have come from a big family. I came from one myself, but I didn’t imagine I would have a big family of my own. My fiancé and I get the crazy looks when we tell people we have four children, but again, it’s the biggest blessing.
Big Tim on being a father to his junior, Little Tim:
In a word, “renewed” like I was being born. It switched my whole mindstate. It’s like I instantly went from being a man, to now me being a father, protector, overseer, and future planner. When my son took his first breath, everything changed. I can’t say it was overwhelming, because I was ready for it, because I had months to prepare to be a father.
When I held him, I felt an overabundance of joy, happiness, pride, and for the most part, relieved because he made it. No parent wants to feel that ever. (Note: xoJoy and Big Tim’s son was born footling breech and she went into cardiac arrest during a caesareansection.)
It was one of those times where my faith purely carried me through to the next hour.
JJ on life with his son, Ethan:
I was there the entire birth and I originally wanted to get my son everything the moment he was born. Within days, I got his footprints tattooed on my chest around my heart as a pledge to be the best dad I could be. I think the first year of his life going through court and having to fight made me realize that he was indeed special and I would fight for him every minute I can. I then became more spiritual and began pushing for a family atmosphere. Fatherhood has its challenges and changes as the child grows, especially when you and the mother are not together, however, each moment I spend with my son, our bond continuously develops and I am thankful for that.
The first relationship a child has is with his mother. Therefore to me, fatherhood is a supportive and firm role where you lead and also give support to the mother in the overall development of the child. I hope to give my son a life that wasn't given to me. Be there and be active regardless of the relationship between his mother and I. My biggest wish is to help him create his own legacy and support him along the way as he chases his dreams.
Robert, on our sons, Kae and Kam: 
I was anxious to become a father. I come from a large family, so I was ready to add to that with my own children. I wasn’t afraid to see my sons come into the world, but I was actually scared for you because I didn’t know what could happen.
There’s a love you have for your child the minute you hear “I'm pregnant,” but that love hits a high when you see the birth of that baby and even then, it’s a feeling that has no limits. It changed my outlook on the world and it was seeing them come into the world, that brought me joy and peace. They were a light and I have clarity on life because of them. I make better decisions and I'm a better man because of my boys.
If these stories don't have you in your feels, my favorite celebrity story would have to be from Iman Shumpert, who by the way has been over the moon and back since his junior, Iman Tayla Shumpert Jr has come into the world.
Junie’s (TT and Iman’s nickname for their little one) unexpected birth, coming one month earlier than anticipated, and Shumpert’s frantic and very emotional 911 phone call is proof of how frightening, but beautiful, the experience can be, especially if you aren’t even in the hospital!
Calling that moment in their home “an assist [he’s] never going to forget,” Shumpert told the story of how Teyana was going into labor in their bathroom; calling his daughter the best Christmas present he’s ever received.
Iman: “She’s telling me, ‘I’m not going to make it to the hospital,’ but I’m like, ‘You got to make it to the hospital because I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t know what to do.’ It was just time for her to come, so we counted to 10 and she did her [mimics breathing exercises]. She pushed and the head came out.”Teyana: “He’s way too calm.”
Iman: “I wasn’t that calm. It was like finishing a long marathon. [Cries] And Junie was right there.”
Teyana: “She was ready to show us what love really, really, really looks like.”
And after playing his part as Superhero Dad and Supportive Fiancé, it’s easy to see why. Shumpert is the real MVP!
Do you know a man who did a 180 on his life once becoming a dad? Shout ‘em out, show them some love, and tell us why in the comment section below!
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While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
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The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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What Does Your Venus Sign Mean?
Your Venus Sign represents what sign the planet Venus was in when you were born. It signifies how you express yourself in love, how you receive love, what you are attracted to, and what people are drawn to in you. It also represents beauty, what styles look the best on you, and how you can attract admiration, success, and love.
Dressing like your Venus Sign has been trending on TikTok and social media as of late, but this is not a new phenomenon. Venus is the planet of love, beauty, creativity, art, and finances, and has been influencing the world of fashion forever.
Your Venus Sign is your personal aesthetic and learning more about it can help you discover aspects of yourself you weren't sure of or what to know better and enhance in your life.
Certain trends become more popular during certain Venus transits, and certain celebrities also make fashion trends more popular, in which these fashion trends match their Venus signs well. Rihanna is a great example of this, as when you think of her and her style you think reds, sexy, edgy, tomboy-ish sometimes, and not afraid to take risks. Her Venus in Aries explains her fashion taste and femme fatale energy well and also aligns with her lingerie line Savage x Fenty.
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Every Venus sign is different in what they look best in, and what type of colors, accessories, and beauty tricks reflect their natural energy and aura.
Fire Venus signs tend to look best in bold colors and often feel beautiful in reds or yellows. Air Venus signs love a flowy look and look their best in blues or lavenders. Water Venus signs have a dynamic style and are more drawn to wearing darker colors like black and gray. Earth Venus signs have a taste for the luxurious and are drawn to earthy tones, faux fur, and jewel-town jewelry.
Connecting with your Venus sign is like having your own personal stylists, and it’s all about working with what the stars have given you.
Read for your Venus sign below for a more in-depth view of dressing like your Venus sign.
VENUS IN ARIES
AriesWith a Venus in Aries, everything that makes you unique and different is what you are going to want to highlight. Venus in Aries should take risks with their style and should not try to pay attention too much to trends. You ARE the trendsetter. Let people get inspired by you and the style you come up with or uniquely wear. Venus in Aries looks best in deep reds, yellows, oranges, and also just a simple all-white or a monochromatic look.
Whatever you feel the most sexy, confident, and dominant in is what you should wear. Aries Ven
VENUS IN TAURUS
TaurusVenus in Taurus has an expensive taste, and rightly so. You are more of the type of person to spend extra on fashion and luxury items because you believe it’s a good investment. With a Venus in Taurus, you would look well in earthy tones, but accessories are going to be the highlight of any look. Gold jewelry, statement pieces, and bright accessories are favored. Your style borders comfy with fashion, and you have a way of executing the perfect balance here. You are also aligned with fabrics and material, and a good chiffon top in a soft pastel or earthy tone would be perfect for you.
VENUS IN IN GEMINI
GeminiWith your Venus in Gemini, you are the type of person to have a shock factor with your style as you typically wear things people may not expect or that don’t necessarily align with your personality in any one way. Venus in Gemini can rock any color and typically has a more maximalist aesthetic. There is nothing as “too much” for a Venus in Gemini, and you should focus on maximizing your look with an extra coat, color, texture, or style within another.
Your look should highlight your fun, outgoing, and light-hearted nature and have a balance of form-fitting and more lax, flowing clothes. The colors that look best on you are the colors you would see in the sky like blues, whites, yellows, as well as stripes, polka dots, and fun patterns.
VENUS IN CANCER
CancerVenus in Cancer has a nostalgic fashion taste. If you have a certain era or time period you are more drawn to fashion-wise, you should highlight that. Venus in Cancer looks best in deep colored tones like black and dark blue, but also draws a lot of attention to them in light pinks, off-whites, and light blues as well. Fashion styles that enhance their aura are soft materials like silk and velvet, and they look the best in vintage styles and silhouettes. Dresses, blouses, pearls, and romantic looks that align with their romantic heart work well for Venus in Cancers.
VENUS IN LEO
LeoVenus in Leo needs to shine in love and their fashion. They want all eyes on them and prefer to be adored and recognized wherever they go. This is why their fashion sense needs to stand out, and they often look best in bright and bold colors, a lot of jewelry, gold, and big or eye-catching hair. Venus in Leos often look beautiful in yellow and also turn heads in reds, black, and gold.
They have a more sexy style and aren’t afraid to show skin if they feel like it. Venus in Leos shine when they are embracing their maximalist and loving character, and making a bold statement with their fashion. Hair is everything for a Venus in Leo, and they are often known for their hair or stand out in some way with this and should highlight it.
VENUS IN VIRGO
VirgoVenus in Virgo is all about a classy, put-together, and not-too-flashy style. They look best in both business and casual styles, and overall, they align with authenticity in fashion. Whatever they are feeling that day is what they are going to wear, and they often take on many different looks in fashion. Venus in Virgos looks best in whites, off-whites, coral, green, and earth tones. They know how to make a pair of jeans look like a luxury item and often have a coastal aesthetic.
Venus in Virgos have a more minimalist style and would look good in a basic tee, blazer, and sneakers. Whatever Venus in Virgo is wearing, their confidence will be the most important thing they have to make them shine, as they can get overly fixated on the details.
VENUS IN LIBRA
LibraVenus in Libra is all about the aesthetic. These are the people with a cohesive Instagram feed and that have a Pinterest everyone gets inspiration from. Venus in Libra is good at defining their aesthetic, highlighting it, and being known for it. They look best in soft colors like pastel pink, blue, and purple, as well as diamonds, faux fur, and silver.
Venus in Libra is another sign with a luxurious taste, and they often feel their best when expressing their romantic, loving, soft, and abundant nature. Venus in Libra is one of the best signs to have Venus in as Venus is the ruler of Libra, so overall, this is a Venus sign that is most likely already dressed like their romantic, feminine, and timeless Venus sign.
VENUS IN SCORPIO
ScorpioVenus in Scorpio is another Venus sign who is not afraid to take risks in fashion. They have a sexy fashion taste that pushes the boundaries and wants to make people feel something- whether good or bad. Venus in Scorpios should look more into edgy pieces and styles, as they look best in black, leather, gray, burgundy, brown, and, of course, a dark lip color.
They have a style that draws people in and would benefit from having the perfect black dress in their closet. For events, dates, or experiences they want to focus on drawing more attention or receiving love, they should be wearing a deep red.
VENUS IN SAGITTARIUS
SagittariusWith a Venus in Sagittarius, your fashion sense is inspired by the many different places you have traveled or the people you have met. You have a quirky fashion taste that gets people talking, and you love a good conversation. You are the one to have the pieces that no one else has, and you love a one-of-a-kind, special edition item. You are someone who could rock both sexy and sporty styles and look best when there is a mixture of both.
Venus in Sagittarius is also drawn to bold colors and more neutral tones, so a balance is what you are trying to reach here. Overall, your fashion should be highlighting your eclectic taste.
VENUS IN CAPRICORN
CapricornVenus in Capricorn is the perfect representation of femme fatale in fashion. Venus in Capricorns often have the best items that they have invested in and took time to research and receive. The perfect example of a Venus in Capricorn’s style is what you would wear to a gala. Meaning, that either a business suit or a long, classy dress highlights this Venus sign's aura well. The colors you should wear with a Venus in Capricorn are blacks, purples, whites, and anything that is well-tailored and sleek. You are often drawn to the more high-end pieces, and your style should match your classy aesthetic.
VENUS IN AQUARIUS
AquariusVenus in Aquarius is another Venus sign of a trendsetter. You don’t care what people think about what you are wearing, and this opens up many doors that are possible for you in the fashion world. You are someone who looks best in outfits with different patterns, textures, and colors. Fashion looks that make someone think, “Wow, I would never think to put those two things together; that looks so good,” are what you should be aiming for.
Your style should highlight your unique and unconventional character. This is a Venus sign that looks good in eclectic pieces, layers, metallics, crystal jewelry, mismatched patterns, and florals.
VENUS IN PISCES
PiscesA Venus in Pisces signifies an intuitive approach to fashion. You can often have premonitions on what styles are going to become trendy, keeping you ahead in the fashion world. Overall, you are going for styles that allow you to move around, dance, and be free. You don’t want to wear something too constrictive, and you would rather wear a dress than yoga pants.
You look beautiful in colors that resemble the ocean, like blues, teals, whites, and greens, and also in colors that represent your more mystical side, like indigo, silver, and black. Your style should reflect your romantic, dreamy, and ethereal heart. What are some of the styles you dream about or daydream of wearing? Venus in Pisces should dress the way they feel that day.
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