5 Quarantine-Friendly Summer Road Trips You Can Take While On Lockdown
For many of us, this year has thrown a serious curveball in our plans for vacations. With lockdowns, stay-at-home orders, and not much travel outside of the US, moving around has become a strategic game of, "Where is it safe to visit today?" Honestly, no matter where you travel, you can't really outrun what is going on, so you must continue to be vigilant about your safety and health no matter where you go. So the question now is, is all hope lost to get out, change your scenery, and explore somewhere new? I don't believe so.
In an article by Travel Agent Central, "A survey conducted by the American Hotel & Lodging Association (AHLA) found that only 44 percent of Americans are planning overnight vacation or leisure travel in 2020, with high interest in road trips, family events and long weekends over the summer months."
Now is the time to get creative with your trips. The beautiful thing about traveling is that you can turn any trip into an adventure. We often like to go big and place heavy emphasis on traveling abroad. We literally forget that there are hidden gems right in our own backyard.
One way to get creative is with road trips. Yes, road trips are a thing, and if you are itching to get out during lockdown there is no better way to travel right now than hitting the open road. Domestic travel doesn't have to always be by airplane; it can be by car or even a camper if you are feeling really in the spirit.
Road tripping has so much to offer that a plane ride cannot: up-close views of landscapes and scenery, unplanned pit stops in small towns for quirky adventures, and hours of conversations with road partners that include singing off-key to a dope curated playlist. The bonding time with friends or a significant other alone is enough to push road trips to the tops of your list this summer. The most important key to planning any trip is the route.
The Overseas Highway: Miami to Key West
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Distance: 168 miles/3 hours and 20 minutes
Route: The Overseas Highway (US1)
Considered one of the greatest American road adventures, the route between Miami and Key West boasts over 100 miles of road that stretches over 42 bridges and connects 34 islands. So essentially this is island-hopping road trip-style. The views are as tropical as they can get, with miles and miles of blue turquoise water as far as the eye can see.
A major tip about this route is that most of the attractions on a Miami to Key West road trip are easily found by knowing what mile marker they are located near. For example, at Mile Marker 118 you are officially in the Florida Keys. It's here that you are just over 100 miles from Key West with lots of quirky pit stops and experiences that lie ahead.
As you make your way to Key West, you will pass through hundreds of small islands that make up the Florida Keys. The islands you'll pass are all connected by Highway 1 which is also known as the "The Overseas Highway". This route can best be described as "A visit to the Florida Keys is a road trip in the grand American tradition: it's not just about where you are headed, it's also about what happens along the way."
Suggested Stops: Cruise on the African Queen (Mile Marker 100), Islamorada Sandbar Island Party (near Mile Marker 84), Seven Mile Bridge (Mile Marker 47-40), Duval Street at Night, Hemingway House, and Mile Marker Zero.
Pacific Coast Highway: San Francisco to Los Angeles
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Distance: 460 miles/9 hours
Route: Pacific Coast Highway and Highway 101
In all honesty, this is probably one of my favorite road trips and routes. In 2013, I took an extended vacation that included a road trip through California for my first visit to the Golden State. It was the best decision I could have made to see a lot of California and Nevada. Our route went from Reno, NV to San Francisco, CA, to Los Angeles, CA, and ended 10 days later in Las Vegas, NV.
For a portion of that trip we took Highway 101 after a brief stay in Solvang, CA. Highway 101 is basically the same thing as Pacific Coast Highway except for part of it goes inland for a few miles between Salinas and San Luis Obispo. The scenery on this route is unmatched, around every corner there are enormous mountainscapes with the Pacific Ocean pushed right up against each edge.
Driving the Pacific Coast Highway is the equivalent of driving along a thin divider that separates two vast and picturesque worlds. The coastal route is about 150 miles and will take about 3 hours, as it's a slower route. The winding roads and beautiful beaches give you plenty of places to stop along with California's stretches of coastline for off the beaten path adventures as well as many places to get a lobster roll or any other food of your choice.
One quick note, if you can keep your eyes on the ocean, it is not uncommon to see whales and dolphins pop up every now and again. Tip: the best way to travel this one is with the top down.
Suggested Stops: Half Moon Bay, Big Sur, Point Bonita Lighthouse, Monterey Aquarium, Morro Rock, Madonna Inn, Hearst Castle, Solvang, and Santa Monica Pier. This trip is long so take your time with this one.
Blue Ridge Parkway: Shenandoah National Park to Great Smoky Mountains National Park
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Distance: 468 miles
Route: Shenandoah National Park to Great Smoky Mountains National Park
Let's switch up the scenery just a bit and take a trip through the Blue Ridge Parkway. This route winds through the crest of the Blue Ridge Mountain Range, starting at its most southern point Shenandoah National Park and going all the way to Great Smoky Mountains National Park. The Blue Ridge Parkway is considered one of the country's greatest scenic drives.
"Spanning the southern and central Appalachians, the Blue Ridge Parkway offers an exceptional glimpse of the regional flora and fauna. It is world-renowned for its biodiversity. The Parkway covers a wide range of habitats along the Appalachian Mountains, and some of these habitats are exceptionally rare. Visitors encounter unsurpassed diversity of climate, vegetation, wildlife, and geological features," says Blue Ridge Parkway website.
When planning your trip, it is suggested to plane it over the four districts of the parkway: the Ridge Region, the Plateau Region, the Highlands Region, and the Pisgah Region. This road trip can be taken at any time of the year but the most spectacular time is during autumn when all the leaves are changing for miles on end.
Suggested Stops: On this trip, the suggested stops are more about what is out in the natural setting of the mountain range. For instance, the many hiking trails, swing bridges, overlooks, and waterfalls. There are many small cities that you can stop in to grab some souvenirs and also many wineries, such as the Biltmore Estates, where you can pick up the local flavors. However, your focus will be on the vast landscape of the mountain ranges.
The Blues Highway: Memphis, TN to New Orleans, LA
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Distance: 400 miles
Route: US 61/US 278/US49/US 61
Everyone knows the key component to a dope road trip is the music. Amazing track after track to get you down the road is the best way to pass time. But what if you made the road trip about the music? This route is the perfect route to make this happen. Memphis TN, to New Orleans, LA, also known as The Blues Highway, and is laced with culture, music, and great southern food. It is recommended to start in Memphis and make your way south to New Orleans but be warned in the summer the heat can be intense.
"Separated by about 400 miles of road, Memphis, Tennessee, and New Orleans, Louisiana, are both hubs for music, food, and Southern culture. The six-hour drive between them can be expanded to an epic, 10-hour road trip through the Mississippi Delta, featuring notable music clubs and venues, Civil War landmarks, and more along the way," according to Trip Savvy.
(Recommendation from the writer: Skip all Civil War landmarks as they do not represent an accurate depiction of our history or they no longer exist. #BLM). This route is packed full of places to see and visit so it is best to plan ahead so you can see everything, get some delicious food along the way, and maybe do a little gambling if you are feeling lucky.
Suggested Stops: Blues Hall of Fame, Beale Street, Ground Zero Blues Club, The National Civil Rights Museum at the Lorraine Motel, Grand Village of the Natchez Indians, and The Natchez Museum of African American History and Culture to name a few.
BONUS ROUTE: Road to Hana: Kahului to Hana, Hawaii
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Distance: 64.4. Miles
Route: Hawaii Routes 36 and 360
Since we are in the pandemic, this one might be a stretch but this will be a bonus route for when things find some balance and we can feel safer about traveling. However, this list would not be a truly complete road trip list without the Road to Hana. This scenic drive is located on the northeast coastline of Maui and is officially named the Hana Highway on maps. It will also be listed as Hwy. 36 and Hwy. 360.
A lot of people consider the Hana Highway to continue beyond Hana to the Oheo Gulch, and even further to the Upcountry Maui via Hwy. 31. Hawaii.com says, "With its 600-plus turns, 50 (or so) one-lane bridges and breathtaking views that alternate between mountain streams and soaring sea cliffs, the Hana Highway is less a roadway than an event in itself."
It is recommended to get out early to avoid traffic on this route. Also, there is a lot to see on the drive so you want to keep your eyes on the road. If you want to take in the full experience, definitely consider getting a driver to get you from start to finish. It is impossible to see all the sights along the route in one trip, so you may want to plan out two to three days to travel and hit the highlights.
Suggested Stops: Ho'Okipa Beach Park, Twin Falls, Huelo Lookout, Maui Garden of Eden, Keanae Pennisula, Pua'a Ka'a Falls, Hanawi Falls, Nahiku Marketplace, Wai'anapanapa State Park, Hana Town, Hamoa Beach, Wailua Falls, 'Ohe'o Gulch aka "Seven Sacred Pools", and Kings Garden Maui.
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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It's Time To Get Out Of The 'Drama Triangles' In Your Relationships
Although the goal with all of my content is to provide at least one ah-ha or light bulb moment (no matter what the topic may be), there are times when I will learn something and then I can’t wait to share it with my clients and also those who are familiar with my byline — because everything in me knows that it will be life-altering information on some level.
Today? It’s what’s known as the Karpman’s Drama Triangle, and when I tell you that it has the ability to set you free when it comes to some of your personal and professional work dynamics? Chile, you have absolutely no idea.
The backstory is a psychoanalyst by the name of Stephen B. Karpman came up with what is known as Karpman’s Drama Triangle back in the ‘60s and then turned it into a pretty popular book, one that helps to explain the dysfunctional situations that a lot of us find ourselves in — and don’t know how to get ourselves out of.
If that alone has already piqued your interest, grab yourself a cup or glass of your favorite beverage and take a good 15-20 minutes to take this all in. Because if you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired of certain folks or patterns, this might be just what the doctor ordered.
What Is a Drama Triangle All About?
Karpman's Drama Triangle
Okay, so what is a Drama Triangle? According to Karpman’s extensive research, at some point, we all play a role in our relationships with other people, including those we have with ourselves (meaning we can have internal drama triangles). We play the Persecutor, the Victim, or the Rescuer. Okay, but before getting deeper into this, let me briefly explain what each of those roles looks like.
The Persecutor: These are the people who always think that it’s your fault. They have a tendency to blame victims for the decisions that they made and then criticize rescuers for trying to help victims out. The good thing about them is they set boundaries and uphold them. The challenging thing about them is they tend to be highly inflexible to the point where they seem like a bully and low-key controlling at times.
The Victim: This is the individual who is constantly in the “poor me” position. They are really bad at personal accountability; they always think someone is to bail them out of their problems, and they pretty much just let life happen to them as they act like they don’t have any real power over their world and its outcome. This keeps them stagnant as they let the persecutor criticize them, and the rescuer saves them as they do basically…nothing. The good thing is they are gentle in their approach to life; the problem is they are passive as hell.
The Rescuer: Although it probably is pretty self-explanatory, the rescuer is always trying to help the victim. Not only does this cause them to catch heat from the persecutor, but it also makes the victim totally reliant on them to the point where the rescuer oftentimes ignores their own needs, feels totally drained, and ends up becoming the victim’s crutch as they are seen as weak by the persecutor. One of my favorite quotes is by Aristotle: “The excess of a virtue is a vice.” It fits in quite well for the rescuer. The positive thing about a rescuer is they are compassionate; the not-so-good thing is they wouldn’t know a boundary if it ran them over.
What turns these three things into a drama triangle is the fact that Karpman says, oftentimes, we find ourselves moving in and out of these roles, usually without even noticing it. And, we tend to do them in extremes. For instance, when it comes to your overbearing mother, you may be the victim. Yet, in your romantic relationship, you may be the persecutor. On the other hand, when it comes to your boss, you are the rescuer.
The problem with all of these is when you’re in the extreme of any of these three positions, it’s going to cause, well, drama. And honestly, that makes all of the sense in the world when you stop to think about the fact that drama is life moving in extreme ways too.
And since this culture is constantly moving in extremes to the point where I’m not even sure if folks know if something is “dramatic” or not anymore, let me break down some clear signs that you’re dramatic, in drama, or addicted to drama (or dramatic people):
- Dramatic people focus on negativity
- Dramatic people overexaggerate
- Dramatic people are stuck in patterns
- Dramatic people constantly need attention (or to be the center of attention)
- Dramatic people aren’t clear and concise in their communication
- Dramatic people stay in unhealthy relationships
- Dramatic people are always in some ish
Now think about the current state of your relationships, again personally as well as professionally. Are any of them…dramatic right now? If so, what role do you play in all of that?
Are You the Problem in Your Relationships?
GiphyOkay, so say that you realize that you’ve got a problem with being stuck in a counterproductive pattern with a girlfriend because she is always in some sort of unhealthy romantic relationship. She’s the Victim, and you’re the Rescuer. How can you know for sure that you both are in those positions?
Well, aside from the definitions that I already provided for the Persecutor, Victim, and Rescuer, some additional traits for the Victim are they like to act helpless about their issues, they complain a lot about things that they can actually change, and they also tend to be quite manipulative because, whatever heart string that they can pull on to get you to invest more time, effort and energy into doing the work that they should do to better themselves, they will gladly do it.
Meanwhile, as the Rescuer, you are almost on-call when it comes to your availability, you’re constantly self-sacrificing, and you tend to do it to the extent where you’re acting more like the mother to a child than a friend. Then you’ve got another friend who is sick of both of y’all’s patterns and so they are constantly berating you two about it. That person would be the Persecutor.
On the other hand, when it comes to your job, you are the Victim while a co-worker is your Persecutor. And what does that look like? Well, you’re the one who is always complaining about how you’re being treated and that you feel overworked and taken for granted, and yet all you do is vent about it.
Meanwhile, the co-worker who’s listening to you is pretty aggressive when it comes to sharing their insights to the point where it almost seems like they’re bullying you to do what they would do. Yet because you’re so passive about this particular part of your life, you keep taking their almost demanding opinions and perspectives. At the same time, there is someone else at your job who feels bad for you, and so they are constantly defending you to the Persecutor and even doing some of your work so that you will feel better; they are the Rescuer here.
Do you see how, in both of these scenarios, nothing is going to get any better so long as things stay so…extreme for all “roles” involved? Without question, the only way that either of these situations is going to change for the better is if the parties involved are willing to recognize the clear role that they play and own it.
So, if any of this triggered you on some level, do some self-introspection: what role are you? Things can’t change until you’re willing, to be honest with yourself about who you are and what you are doing. And yes, I’m speaking from personal experience.
When it comes to one of my friend’s marriages, I know that I used to be the Rescuer. Her husband was so ridiculous, and everyone knew it (that’s not just my opinion; my friend ended up divorcing him, and then all kinds of stories of what folks really thought about him came out). She was the Victim, and he was the Persecutor. After a while, it started to take a real toll on my friendship with her because while she recognized all of the ways that he was controlling and emotionally abusive, she would blame his mom for why he was the way that he was — which created another triangle where he was the Victim, she was the Rescuer, and his mom was the Persecutor.
Yep, it’s easy to have drama triangles that are attached to or interwoven with other ones. SMDH. Anyway, it wasn’t until I was willing to look at the part that I played in the crazy train that I was able to set some boundaries — ones that ultimately ended up protecting and preserving our friendship.
This brings me to my next point.
So, How Do You Break Your Current Drama Triangles?
GiphyIf you were paying close attention to the characteristics of the Persecutor, Victim, and Rescuer, you probably noticed that not everything about any of them was all bad. The problem is, again, they were moving in the extreme and that’s how things ended up getting dramatic. So, when it comes to breaking free from drama triangles, what you need to focus on, more than anything, is achieving some sort of balance.
Persecutors need to be less controlling and instead set boundaries while encouraging others to do the same. If the Victim or Rescuer chooses not to, there’s no need to get angry; it’s their life. Persecutors need to achieve balance by focusing on simply honoring their own limits.
Victims need to be honest about where they are and ask for help if they need it. However, they also need to understand that it’s not anyone else’s responsibility to invest more into their life than they are willing to. Balance is about getting support, not looking for a crutch — and definitely not trying to make people feel bad for not wanting to show up for your world more than you do.
Rescuers could stand to learn more about codependency, which, at the end of the day, is having an entire identity around saving other people. To tell you the truth, while it can seem on the surface that Rescuers are good-natured people, some of them like the power of feeling like they saved someone; it’s not always as altruistic as it seems. The ones who want the credit for the help or like to try and create certain outcomes with their help? Those are the ones I’m referring to that could use some humbling.
When it comes to all three of these, after seeing who you are in a particular triangle, honing in on how to “play your position” in a healthier and productive way is how you can break free from the triangle altogether. Make sense?
This Is How to Stay Out of Drama Triangles in the Future
GiphySo, now that you’ve been introduced to drama triangles, have probably seen yourself in at least one of them, and are learning how to get out of your current triangle, you’re probably wondering how to keep yourself from getting caught up in drama triangles in the future.
Good question. For you, I offer another kind of triangle with these three tips:
1. Spot potential drama very early on. There’s someone I know who is always asking from others (almost in an entitled way) and rarely doing for anyone else. Because I change my number like the wind, she doesn’t have my current one. She recently asked someone who has it for it, and they asked me if it was okay to share it. I am so tired of being the Victim’s Persecutor when she talks about all of the fallouts that she has with her rescuers that I told them “no.” When I see her out and about, cool. Yet, always arguing with her about how much she takes advantage of people while she acts like she’s doing nothing wrong? I’ll pass. That’s too much drama for me.
2. See yourself and own it. Again, based on the kind of relationship you’re thinking about, you may be one role consistently, or you might be all three at different times. The key is to know the role that you play and then be hypervigilant about being a less extreme version of it so that you can bring more balance and less drama to the situation.
3. Do what brings balance and peace. Greek author Euripides once said, “The best and safest thing is to keep a balance in your life, acknowledge the great powers around us and in us. If you can do that, and live that way, you are really a wise man.” Author Orison Swett Marden once said, “Work, love, and play are the great balance wheels of man's being.” Film producer Paul Boese once said, “We come into this world head first and go out feet first; in between, it is all a matter of balance.” Finally, writer Johann Wolfgang von Goethe once said, “So divinely is the world organized that every one of us, in our place and time, is in balance with everything else.”
What all of these emphasize is a good life is a balanced one and when you strive to avoid drama while cultivating peace, you are well on your way to a life of balance.
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Drama triangles. Lawd. We’ve all been in one; hell, more than one. Some of us are in one at this very moment. That’s the bad news. Hopefully, the good news is, that now that you see it for what it is, you can dismantle the ones you’re in and keep yourself from being a part of them in the future.
After all, life’s too short and precious for drama triangles.
Move forward, in straight lines, by achieving balance (and peace)…instead.
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