Porsha Williams Gets Real About Embracing Her Postpartum Body: "It Is What It Is"
Let's be real. Moms are superheroes, no cape necessary. Not only do moms spend nine months cooking and creating a whole human life, but the pressure to snap back could make a woman literally… snap. Luckily, celebrities like Beyonce, Teyana Taylor, and Porsha Williams have made it a point to let women around the world know that they are not alone in their postpartum journeys and offer comfort by way of sharing their own experiences.
Real Housewives of Atlanta star Porsha Williams and her soon-to-be hubby, owner of The Original Hot Dog Factory, Dennis Mckinley recently gave birth to their first child, Pilar Jhena', via c-section, and the couple couldn't be happier. The 37-year-old mother of one recently took to the internet to let everyone know that her post-baby body won't stop her from getting her sexy on. In a recent Instagram story, she said:
"As a new mom, you can't wait to get to back to your sexy. So I am super excited for Savage X Fenty's launch. Yes! They have sent me some amazing products: Panties, bras, loungewear, lingerie, I have it all."
Don't get me wrong, living a healthy lifestyle and finding time to work out is extremely important, especially as women of color. But on the other hand, Porsha reminds us that there's no reason you should feel obligated to head straight from the delivery room to the gym. She continued:
"[It's important for] us women to feel comfortable in our own skin. Yes, I just had a baby, I'll be working out whenever I get to it. Savage X Fenty just makes me feel good in my skin, what can I say?"
Porsha also let it be known that her sexy doesn't stop in the bedroom. She and her fiance recently celebrated becoming new parents with a night on the town and joined the campaign to #MakeParenthoodSexyAgain. When a fan commented, thanking Porsha for being brave enough to put her postpartum body on display, the reality star replied:
"Chile, it is what it is we gotta enjoy life."
Well said, sis! Porsha isn't the only celebrity that's been transparent about her postpartum journey. Here's what other celebrities said about adapting to their bodies as new moms:
Chrissy Teigen
Chrissy Teigen is the queen of clapback, the wife of R&B superstar John Legend, and an iconic fashion icon, but most importantly, she's a mother to two adorable little people. Last year, Chrissy gave birth to her and John's son, Miles, and she told Twitter that this postpartum journey was much different than life after her first pregnancy. She explained:
"Basically I am 20 pounds heavier than I was before Miles. He's 10 months old, I never lost the last bit because I just love food too much. Just coming to terms with my new normal, when I had this certain number for so long!"
"The thinnest I've ever been was right after Luna. Postpartum depression. I'LL TAKE THESE POUNDS AND THIS FEELING!"
Life happens, our bodies change. Part of creating a life means a number of changes to your own, and usually, that can come in the form of a few pounds. Take it from Chrissy, change doesn't always have to be a bad thing.
"After I came out [of the hospital], I had a stomach but I thought, this is kind of cool. I have a stomach because the baby was there."
Tia Mowry-Hardrict
Tia Mowry-Hardrict did not come to play with the body shamers of the world. In the past, the 40-year-old mother of two has not been shy about sharing how the pressure to lose her post-baby weight can sometimes be overwhelming. She told Self:
"People ask, 'Oh, are you pregnant?' It's like, 'No honey, I had a child.' This is what it looks like after you have a baby. This is who I am, and I love it."
Tia also wants women to know that perfection is unrealistic. It's important to define your OWN #BodyGoals and stay true to them. She continued:
"Ladies, it's okay that our bodies are not PERFECT after our babies are born. Give yourself time. Go at your own pace. Don't allow people to put a time limit on YOUR body. You've just accomplished a miracle! #Love yourself, love your new body, embrace it. It you want to make changes than that's your desire and no one else's."
Teyana Taylor
The world was shooketh when Teyana Taylor appeared in Kanye West's "Fade" video looking like a hot piece of fresh baked apple pie only months after giving birth to baby Junie. "How'd she do it," you ask? The 28-year-old artist shared that her method was simple:
"Dancing is my workout. I just dance. I almost feel like dance is so underrated in the fitness world."
I don't know about you, but I've twerked in my bedroom mirror for days on end and not seen those kinds of results. But according to Teyana, genetics play a huge role and even she has to conquer her own insecurities on a daily basis. She told The Cut:
"People see me and think that I have the most perfect body, but they don't realize that I have struggled just like they do. If I lift up a weight, I automatically get super strong. That's why I get intimidated and stay away from the gym — I'm already naturally so strong that if I were to work out I would look like a bodybuilder. Sometimes I can even photograph a little bit harsh. Some people will be like, 'Oh girl, stop!"'But everybody has their own personal struggles, and when I want to gain weight, it's hard."
Beyonce
*Cue the music from Coming To America* "She's your queeeeen!" That's right, even Queen Bey felt the pressure to snapback after giving birth to twins Sir and Rumi. In an interview with Vogue, Beyonce shared how she learned to embrace her post-partum body and reminded us all of the true beauty that comes with having a FUPA:
"To this day my arms, shoulders, breasts and thighs are fuller. I have a little mommy pouch, and I'm in no rush to get rid of it. I think it's real. Whenever I'm ready to get a six-pack, I will go into beast zone and work my ass off until I have it. But right now, my little FUPA and I feel like we are meant to be."
Beyonce shared that she weighed 218 pounds the day she went into labor with the twins, and after spending days in the NICU, she really just needed a break. She explained:
"I needed time to heal, to recover. During my recovery, I gave myself self-love and self-care, and I embraced being curvier. I accepted what my body wanted to be… I was patient with myself and enjoyed my fuller curves. My kids and husband did, too."
Featured image by Slaven Vlasic/Getty Images
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Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Another season of Love Is Blind has come to a close, and almost two months later we’re still unpacking the drama that is Clay and AD. The finale, reunion, and post-interviews with Clay and AD after season six of Love Is Blind left millions of people wondering - why couldn’t AD see the signs? Clay told her he had a fear of marriage, his parents experienced infidelity, and he seemed to have many doubts about saying, "I do."
After changing his mind at the altar and hearing AD question why she feels like she’s never enough, I was finished watching. I didn’t need to hear anything else because, at that moment, I realized this wasn’t about Clay; this was about AD feeling inadequate before she ever met Clay.
If I’m honest, I don’t watch much dating television. TikTok keeps me updated with the clips that I need to see in order to be kept in the loop, but it’s difficult for me to watch an entire season of dating TV because seeing Black women settle for less and questioning their beauty is a trigger for me. In many ways, there were points in my life where I was AD, settling and ignoring red flags because I wanted to be loved.
Now, on the other side, it doesn’t feel good to see Black women lower their standards on national television. There have been many hot takes on this couple and who was in the wrong. Did Clay play in AD’s face or did she not listen to the truth of what he told her from day one? Was his reason for joining the show to promote his business and not to find the one?
We’ll never know the truth, but what we can do is learn tactics to better our self-worth. Founder and CEO of The Self Love Organization Denise Francis shared her expertise with xoNecole on what tangible steps to take to improve feelings of worthiness. “Self-love blooms in a garden where self-worth is planted, nourished, and whole. However, when your self-worth is challenged, displaced, or broken, it could be difficult to rebuild," Denise explains.
How To Rebuild Self-Worth
During her self-love coaching sessions, Denise likes to walk her clients through the cornerstones of rebuilding self-worth: grace and self-compassion. To her, self-worth is never lost, it's only displaced, so practicing self-compassion and giving yourself grace is a must. "We tend to place our self-worth in entities and people of ourselves such as relationship status, physical appearance, material possessions, social media followings, what others think of us, and more. Self-worth is not something to be measured by anyone or anything outside of ourselves because we all innately hold value and worth.
"Self-worth is not something to be measured by anyone or anything outside of ourselves because we all innately hold value and worth."
"When we place our value into people or things, we tend to feel that we are not enough, worth it, special, or important when relationship status, job titles, friendships, and physical appearances are lost or changed. We then tend to feel lost within ourselves because we’ve placed our value outside of ourselves. Using grace and compassion, you can rebuild your self-worth by returning home to who you are at your core," she concludes.
How To Return Home To Yourself
Denise advises taking a step back and using self-reflection through journaling by answering the following journaling prompts:
First, ask yourself, "What do you tend to attach your self-worth to and why?"
Is it your relationships, your job title, your finances, your appearance, etc.? Why do you think you place so much emphasis on external status? How does it make you feel when you are defining yourself through these entities and/or people outside of yourself?
Then, ask yourself, "Without these things, who am I?"
Once you have your answers, show yourself kindness, remove the shame, and, as Denise says, "Redefine yourself by detaching your value from the things and people you have no control over and no longer serve you. Challenge yourself to define yourself outside of titles and societal values."
"By returning home to your core, you find value in who you are as a person. You begin to find value in the way you love instead of your relationship status, your compassion instead of your popularity, your drive instead of your income/job title, and your heart instead of your physical appearance," she adds.
"By returning home to your core, you find value in who you are as a person."
"Be intentional with healing your self-worth by leaning into the people and things that nourish your core values. Surround yourself with the people who love and cherish you, they will always remind you just how valuable you truly are."
It all goes back to self-compassion and grace. As Denise explains, leading with those two things as you heal and rebuild your self-worth allows you to reduce negative self-talk that might come up for you. "This weakens thoughts like, 'I am not enough... why am I never enough?'" she shares, "And 'I don't deserve this while strengthening thoughts like 'I deserve better,' 'I am enough,' and 'I am worth it.'"
Denise continues, "Once you return home and remember the irreplaceable person you are, you can rebuild your self-worth by placing it back where it belongs. It belongs to you."
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Featured image by LaylaBird/Getty Images
