
How Influencer Ijeoma Kola Is Slaying A Cross-Continent Move & New Mommyhood

As women, we often juggle so many roles, from our jobs to our households, and many of us count it all as a normal part of living our best lives. If we want to advance, upgrade, and reach our dreams, we take the steps, make the sacrifices, and enjoy the ride.
YouTube vlogger and lifestyle influencer Ijeoma Kola knows this all too well. In the past five years, sis has married the love of her life, finished out a PhD program, gotten pregnant, and relocated to a whole 'nother country---all while running a thriving online lifestyle platform that has attracted more than 80,000 followers on IG alone. She's also launched a tourism platform to connect other women to African culture and experiences, and she has been slowly but surely transitioning to a new normal as the mother of a newborn.
We caught up with Ijeoma in this xoNecole interview to talk about how she juggles being a wife and new mom, her leap into global relocation while pregnant, and how faith pushes her boss moves:
Image by Ade Osinubi
You and your husband relocated to Kenya last year, and you totally moved your life while pregnant. How was that experience?
I visited Kenya four or five times before moving here, so I was familiar with Nairobi. The first time I came, I felt super-comfortable. The infrastructure and amenities are pretty similar to America, so I didn't feel out of place here versus moving to, say, a more rural part of Kenya or of Africa. In terms of being relatively newlywed, it's been fun doing this with my husband Jonathan because he's from here and while were dating, he actually went to Nigeria for a year and a half and that's where I'm from. He ended up being in my country for a little bit and I ended up being in his country, so I think it helps us understand one another.
Although our cultural experiences growing up were different, now we get to see both sides. I've met a lot of people he went to school with and get to learn more about him a little bit deeper. It's cool to experience that. It provides another interesting dimension to our marriage for sure.
Something we considered when moving is that it's not that unfamiliar to both of us. We have extended family and friends here so that's made the transition a lot easier. Being a new mom in a new country, I was really shocked because it seems like as soon as I landed I was able to connect with three other pregnant women at the time. I have been exposed to a community of new moms. I just really felt welcomed. I find it's so easy to find a common ground with people and easy to make friends simply being pregnant.
Image by Lyra Aoko
With all the change you've experienced in the past six months, has your perspective on balance changed?
There are days that I don't do any work or there are days that I do. I have grace with myself, and I get comfortable with the fact that I can't do everything and I can't please everybody. Just letting go of the weight of having to be perfect is key. If a day goes by and I haven't exactly gotten to everything I want to do, it's totally OK. Tomorrow's another day and [if] I can't get to, [I] can go for it tomorrow.
My husband is really down for the cause and he's super-helpful. His family is also very helpful, and they'll stop by and they've been my support system. I also have a team for the work that I do---an assistant and an agent for my blog who helps with negotiating contracts and collaborations. And we have house help. It's important to surround yourself with people who can help you and to outsource tasks.
What does self-care look like for you now that you're a mom?
Whenever he's napping or I'm able to get a break, I try to do something for me. I get out of the house, and I may get my hair or my nails done. I really like working out, and I make sure I go for a walk---alone or sometimes with my husband. I do yoga and I love facials and massages. The time I do these things can vary because my son has needs and he might wake up at different times or need things [at different times].
I'm hoping that in the next few months we can get a good routine going, but for the most part that's pretty much what it looks like.
As a vloggerpreneur, how has it been in terms of transitioning your business and shifting the way you present content?
My blogging business has definitely changed. It's really been about recognizing that my audience has changed. Once I moved, my Kenyan audience grew, and with that, they have different expectations. The Kenyan market operates differently from the American market and I had to decide how to position myself. You have to know how you want to shift your content--if at all--and I had to adapt. Also, when it comes to influencer marketing, I've had to approach brands differently. For example, a Kenyan brand might have a much smaller budget and might expect different deliverables. It might shift from a focus, in America, for blog post campaigns, to more Instagram-focused in Kenya.
The last change has more to do with becoming a mom. I now have to think more about how the content I post affects other people.
Before I got married, [my blog] just had to do with me and my life. Then, once I got married, it was about me and my husband. There were things I'd post that I'd include him in, but he's not a blogger for a living, so I had to be conscious of that. Now that I'm a mom, it's about being even more mindful of how I post and maybe being a bit more private about what I post or share.
What are your plans for the future in Kenya, particularly your newest venture, the Safe Journey Retreat?
I'm a spiritual person so I try to be guided by God's calling and what He wants for my life. I try to mold what I do around that. That helps me stay balanced and grounds me. Starting the Safe Journey Retreat made sense for me. It helps me in my position here. I blogged in America, I finished school and I have this audience.
I just moved here, I love it here, and I think that everyone should experience Kenya as a beautiful place to be. It felt very natural to combine all of those---my passion for traveling and Africa in general.
Also, because I'm taking a break from [what I studied in school], it's also a good way to pursue another project as I figure out things. In the early part of my 20s, I spent a lot of time trying to strictly plan out my life. I had this grand plan and I was going to accomplish things by a certain time. Something I've learned over the past decade is that when man plans, God laughs. As much as you have goals and plans, ultimately you don't really know. If you would've talked to me back then and told me that I'd be married and moving to Kenya, I'd say, "Girl, get out of my face!" (Laughs) I try to let go of the desire to overly plan my life. I kind of go with the flow right now. As long as I'm being true to myself, and continue to uplift and inspire---what I'm called to do---I'm at peace.
For more of Ijeoma, follow her on Instagram.
Featured Image by Marta Skovro
Love Is The Muse: How Skylar And Temi Built A Creative Life Together
When Temitope Ibisanmi DM’d the word “muse” to Skylar Marshai, he knew he was shooting his romantic shot. He didn’t realize, however, that he was connecting with his future business and creative partner, too.
“I was the boyfriend,” Temi says. “Everybody out there knows, you’re the cameraman at that point.”
Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Today, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak
The ChatGPT Prompts That Got Me Through A Career & Life Transition
Oftentimes when we hear about ChatGPT prompts, there's always some sort of business pitch, entrepreneurship push, or other shortcut connected to money-making. (Well, at least that's been the annoying case with my Instagram feed.) It's undeniable, though, that ChatGPT prompts can be game-changers, even beyond business plans or revenue schemes.
For me, creating and using my own ChatGPT prompts has been more about self-motivation, self-development and inspiration, especially at a tough time of career transitions and personal shifts. And as cray-cray as things seem in the U.S., especially related to one's livelihood, future financial stability, and overall mental health, I decided to take back a bit of my power using a great AI resource that you'll literally wonder how the hell it knows you so well to even answer your prompts so accurately.
Here are a few ChatGPT prompts that have been super-helpful and empowering related to career and finances. Simply visit OpenAi.com/Index/ChatGPT (or use the app of your choice), copy and paste the prompts, and be sure to fill in the blanks before submitting them:
The "Level Up" Prompt
Write an encouraging letter to a Black [your age]-year-old woman who is a [occupation] and wants to level up in her career. She lives in [city and/or state], earns [your yearly salary], and wants to be able to [career passion 1], [career passion 2], [career passion 3] during her work day. She also wants to earn [your dream salary] and work from [office/home/dream place of business] but feels challenged by [briefly state challenge here in 3-4 words.]
I swear ChatGPT got me all the way together, reminded me of the amazing experienced journalist, editor, and speaker that I am, and gave quick tips on how to take things to the next level that are actually doable.
The "Get My Credit Card Debt In Check" Prompt
Write a detailed plan, with categories, for a woman in her [age group] who is a [occupation] earning [your yearly salary]. She wants to cut at least 50 percent of her current credit card debt of [card balance] with an APR of [percentage]. Her minimum payment is [amount] and she'd like to cut down in [days/months/years]. Her expenses include [list] along with non-negotiable spending on [leisure/travel/fitness/wellness or other activity].
From here, it can also create spreadsheets or you can request that it get more specific with each category. You can also request that the plan be adjusted based on the first response and whether it truly fits something you can realistically do. Add more specific details based on your life, the unique challenges you face, or other options you have in mind knowing what you're capable of or you're realistically interested in doing to pay off a debt.
The "Retire Early" Prompt
Write a step-by-step early retirement plan for a woman age [your age]. She has [time in years] of experience in [industry] and has been working for her current company for [how many years]. She also currently earns [amount] per year. She lives in [city and/or state], [rents/owns], and has [amount] in savings. She also has [amount] in her 401K [or Roth IRA---whichever is relevant to your situation.] She currently has [amount] in her checking account(s). [Add any other details about your earnings including side hustles, businesses, freelance work, settlements, lottery, rental income, or other funds you have access to.] She has [amount] in unpaid debt. She'd like to retire by [age; and be reasonable sis] and live in [city and state/country].
While early retirement might seem like a pipe dream to some of us, a prompt like this lets you know that it's more possible than you think. It's also something great to take to a financial adviser so you can sift through what's actually doable (based on real-life scenarios) and what's not.
The "Career Pivot" Prompt
Write a plan for a woman who works as a [occupation] and wants to pivot into earning money doing [new career or career activity]. She is passionate about [activity or goal] to serve [potential audience/client/customer]. She wants to transition out of [current career] to earn [amount] doing [new career or career activity] by [time/date] and earn [dream income that you'd make doing the new career activity]. Include steps and categories. Include a timeline to achieve this by [date].
This is a helpful prompt when you feel stuck in your current role (or even your career altogether) and simply need inspiration on what could be the perfect pivot. You can update this to include different career activities or scenarios, add company names or brands, and even ask for pitches or ways to brand yourself online to achieve this goal.
The "Faith-Filled Career Confidence Booster" Prompt
Write a letter from God to a woman who is feeling like she is behind in life. She feels lost and scared, especially with everything that is going on in the U.S. right now, politically and economically. She is [age], works as a [occupation], and lives in [city/state]. She has [educational degrees or training], loves [three passions/hobbies/favorite activities], and has [mention family, spouse, children, or other loved one, even if a pet here.] She is [mention three things you like about yourself including one about your appearance]. She wants to achieve [list two small but important goals here that are related to personal and/or professional life]. She has faced [list any major and specific challenges, briefly, here] and does not know how she will handle these challenges. Include [Bible verses] of encouragement to study.
This prompt had me in tears, but it reminded me of my Biblical upbringing and my foundation for success and motivation. It also reminded me to get stronger in my faith, to read my Bible a bit more, and to stop allowing doom and gloom to inform my approach to problem-solving.
The "Talk That Career Ish" Prompt
Write a letter from the perspective of a football [or sport of your choice] coach for a woman aged [age] who works as the best [occupation] in [city, state]. She has accomplished [list 3-5 highlights of your career, whether past or recent] and is a leader in [relevant business or career activities that reflect leadership, whether you've accomplished these things or they're aspirational]. She brings the following skills to the work with her: [list 2-5] and she is proud of [aspirational career goal of you at your highest career self.]
Add in the name of your favorite coach and this gets even better! (I used Deion Sanders, but choose who you want.) You'll not only get hyped up to remember the fabulous bad boss you are, but you'll also get tips on how to be even more successful in the future.
Try any of these prompts and use them as stepping stones to prompt positive thinking, further conversations for financial and career planning, or just a fun and potentially constructive distraction from all the mess that's going on. Dig deeper and request more specific steps, inclusions of actual resources like books, conferences, or course recommendations, or create images, vision boards, or graphs. Add in specifics that will help you remain accountable in planning to meet a specific financial or career goal.
Also, this is a big one: Be sure to remember that ChatGPT is simply a tool. It's neither a genie nor the Almighty. You'll need to fact-check, use common sense, and adjust any sort of plans based on your actual reality. Try out these ChatGPT prompts as springboards for sparking imagination, motivation, and innovation.
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Featured image by Getty Images