

Never Complete Anything? Here's Why You (Probably) Don't.
Man. If there was ever an article where I wish I could put a friend's first, middle and last name in it, this would be the one. I say that because the person who I'm speaking of is brilliant. I'm not being biased either because, most of the people in their world, feel the same way as I do. Problem is, this person sucks, BIG TIME, when it comes to completing things. Genius idea after genius idea never fully manifests because the minute the concept comes into their brain and they begin, after about a good week or so, they're on to something else. As a result, nothing ever really materializes. And that really is a total and damn shame.
If this sounds like someone you know because, in all honesty, the person is you, please take a moment to at least finish reading this. It really is my personal belief that completing tasks are a form of self-discipline and, the more you do finish things, the better you are at taking on bigger, better and greater opportunities along the way. I've always been a firm believer that some of the best answers come from asking self-reflective questions. So, pull out your journal and write down your own answers to the ones I've listed down below. It could be what helps to put a fire in you to not just start things…but to actually complete them.
Do You Set Short- and Long-Term Goals?
Let's start with a point that should be obvious but actually, it might not be. Sometimes, we don't complete tasks because let's be real—some of the stuff that we set out to do is not going to happen overnight. A real investment of blood, sweat, tears and time is gonna be required which can wear us all the way out before we even begin. Sometimes I feel that way about my writing. When I know that I've got 10-15 articles to do in a week, I will get up on Monday already shaking my head. But things seem a lot less daunting once I break my assignments down into increments; you know—I create short- and long-term goals. On the writing tip, I actually tend to do the easier/quicker stuff first because that typically leaves me with only 5-7 articles by Wednesday. In my mind, because most of what I needed to do is already done, it's like getting a second wind to knock everything else out.
We've all heard the saying "So-and-so-crawled so that so-and-so could now run." If you struggle with completing stuff, put your name in both "so-and-sos". Set short-term goals (crawl) and finish those. If you do that, they will give you the extra "umph" that you need to get to the bigger stuff (run). If you make this way of approaching matters a part of your daily routine, you'll be amazed by how much you'll be able to complete—basically all of the time.
What About You and Time Management?
Social media takes up a lot of time (on average, it's about 2 ½ hours a day). Reading gossip blogs takes up a lot of time. Watching mindless television takes up a lot of time. Being in relationships with fruitless individuals (folks who take more than they give and/or are always trying to turn you into someone you're not) takes up a lot of time. Talking about what you're gonna do rather than actually doing it takes up a lot of time. Listen, we've all got 24 hours in a day, and, based on how you utilize those hours, your days can be really beneficial—or not. The harsh reality is, that there are a lot of folks who don't complete things for no other reason than they absolutely suck at time management (check out "These 10 Habits Are Totally Wasting Your Time").
A hack that helps me to avoid falling into this demographic is reminding myself that there will never be another day that is quite like this one. And since tomorrow isn't promised, I need to make the absolute most of it. Hmph. You'd be amazed how effective that is if you really take these points seriously. And literally.
How Excited Are You About the Things You’re Setting Out to Do?
Only a child (or a childish individual) would think that everything that we do in life is supposed to be fun all of the time. But something that I've learned is what you can do is "trick yourself" into feeling some level of excitement about the tasks that are on your list of things to do. For instance, I recently had two screws in my loveseat become stripped (because I've had this piece of furniture for a hot minute now). It's not really in the budget to buy a new couch; plus, I still like what I've got. So, I devoted an entire Sunday towards figuring out how to fix it myself. Do you think I really wanted to do that?! Heck no. But the excitement came from the thought of being able to fix the loveseat on my own while being able to keep some extra coins in my pocket. After doing a little research, I found an under-five-dollars solution and now it's good as new. And yes, I'm super duper excited about that!
By the way, I chose the word "excited" very strategically. One definition of it is "stimulated to activity". Whether it's a project for work, paying a bill (on time), completing a DIY project—whatever it is that's on your personal to-do list, if you struggle with completing tasks, figure out a way to get excited about starting in the first place. The faster you complete a work project, the easier it will be to either impress your boss or move on to something else. Paying bills on time will keep you from incurring late fees and can add some points to your credit score. Completing a DIY project can boost your self-confidence (I can totally vouch for that one!). Human nature is kind of wired to need an incentive for why we do the things that we do. If you can figure out at least three reasons why completing a particular thing will benefit you, this alone can gas you up to start and finish it.
Are You an Overthinker? Maybe You’re Constantly Overwhelmed.
Last summer, I wrote an article entitled, "How To Handle 'Purpose Fatigue'". In it, one of the things that I addressed is how overthinking can be our biggest deterrent in trying to accomplish, shoot, pretty much anything in life. Overthinking can cause you to create problems that don't even exist. Overthinking can make you super anxious. Overthinking can turn you into a worry wart.
Overthinking can make you live in the past to the point where you can't live in the present or plan for the future. Overthinking can literally stop you dead in your tracks. And, if you allow yourself to get—and then remain—in this kind of headspace, you will think your way out of possibly starting and almost definitely finishing something.
Know what else that overthinking can do? It can totally overwhelm you. This is one reason why it can be a really good idea to either begin each week—or day—with a to-do list that has things listed in an order of importance. That way, you can start off your week being clear about the fact that, if there's anything that you will prioritize, it's what you've already written down. That can help to organize your mind, manage your time and take some of the stress off—so that you can actually get things done.
How Good Are You at Celebrating and Encouraging Yourself?
Some people aren't able to complete things because they have wired themselves to believe that, unless someone is constantly encouraging them, then what they are doing might not be worthwhile. This is a really dangerous way of thinking. For one thing, you should never expect anyone to be more thrilled about and invested in your life than you are. Secondly, humans are flawed. This means that sometimes they will disappoint you. And third, there are gonna be certain things that you want to get done that folks around you may not get or support. I've shared before that I have family members who refused to talk to me while I was writing my first book. Close family members. Still, I knew it was something that had to be done and so…I did it.
Something that creatives, especially, need to keep in mind is, some of the ideas that come to your spirit are gonna sound straight up crazy to people around you (truly original things oftentimes do!). You've got to discipline yourself to push through the naysayers and do what you know is best and right, in spite of. It's an epidemic, the amount of people who don't ever complete things because they don't know how to hype their own damn selves up. Post up affirmations. Celebrate baby steps. Remind yourself why you started in the first place. If you are your biggest fan, anyone else will just be…surplus.
How Good Are You at Protecting Your Energy?
On the heels of what I just said, here's another great point. Energy. Energy is power. Sometimes, even if you've got the first three things that I mentioned checked off, if you don't protect your energy—especially from negative people, places, things or ideas—that can also bring you down and hinder you from finishing projects. A great example of this is, I have a close friend who is about to blow all the way up! A part of the reason why is because she's a really good person and when you put good out, good comes back to you (if not immediately, eventually). Anyway, meanwhile, she's got a hater in her midst. Not just a hater but a hater who poses herself as being a friend (check out "5 Signs Your Closest Friends Are The Most Envious Of You"). Because this so-called friend of hers is so cryptic and calculated, sometimes her stratagems can throw my friend off to the point where she's more focused on why her "friend" is doing the things that she does rather than tending to what can take her to an even higher level. Bottom line, that non-friend-friend is draining my friend's energy—that person is tapping into my friend's power source and that's preventing her from getting all that she needs to do—done.
You need power to start and complete things. This is why it is imperative that you protect your energy at all costs. If you don't, there's a pretty good chance that you'll never really get anything that's worth doing done (or done as well as it could've been if you hadn't let stuff infect your energy).
What’s the Benefit/Blessing Upon Completion?
I make sure my articles get done on time so that I can get paid on time. I finished my loveseat so that I could comfortably sit on it again. I make elaborate dishes sometimes because I enjoy certain foods that are hard to find in a "regular" restaurant. While these are semi-small examples of what it means to find a benefit or blessing in completing things, they are still really valid. Just like you should find your why for beginning something, it's also important to find your what when it comes to finishing it. Because the reality is a lot of people have a challenging time completing things because they forget why they began what they did in the first place (I deal with this when it comes to married couples all the time). An author by the name of Toni Sorenson once said, "The secret is not following the right path, it's following that right path to the end. Don't quit, my friend, until you've arrived." If you know that you have a hard time completing things, think about what is awaiting you once you arrive. Let that be the driving force to getting things done—the benefit or blessing that is guaranteed to wait for you on the other side.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
Blac Chyna Opens Up About Her Initial Fear To Share Her Spiritual Journey With Others
Watching Angela “Blac Chyna” White’s transformation in real-time has truly been a sight to see. It wasn’t that long ago that she announced that she was reversing her cosmetic surgeries in an effort to go back to who she was before the world came to know her as Blac Chyna. In previous interviews, she stated that she was dissolving her facial and lip fillers, removing her breast implants, and getting a butt reduction, as well as removing the dimple piercings that enhanced her fame and controversial tattoos.
In a recent Tamron Hall interview, the mother of two said that she has “fully recovered” from the procedures. She is also celebrating one year of sobriety and opened up about being worried about how her new journey would be received by others.
“I’ve been in the entertainment industry for so long, right, and of course, like, you know, coming out, I’m like young, I’m gonna do wild things as we all have,” she said.
“...I feel like by me being vocal and showing everybody you can change your life and things can get better, like through myself, that right there is an accomplishment, and that’s a part of freedom, too.”
But as she started on her journey, many people have shown her grace, which is something she’s grateful for. “And then the fact that people have been showing me grace, it’s like amazing,” she said. “And I feel like when I did it, I just did it. It was more so like spiritual thing and I feel like people see that, and I’ve always been like my authentic self, so what you see is kinda what you get with me, and that’s just kinda what it is.”
Chyna, who recently received an honorary doctorate from Sacramento Theology Seminary and Bible College, has also repaired her relationship with her mom, Tokyo Toni. The social media celebrity surprised her daughter on the Tamron Hall Show. Prior to the sentimental surprise, Chyna dished on the reconciliation and having a better understanding of her mom.
“I must say, some of the things I have to take accountability for because, like my actions. As a mother, you don’t want to see your daughter doing certain things ‘cause it’s like it doesn’t matter what my past was or what we’re going through, I didn’t raise you that way,” she admitted. “So, it’s like, okay, maybe I was a little bit wrong. Maybe I was acting out a little bit. But I feel like as we grow older, I kinda see more, and I understand more.”
Chyna will be starring in season two of Fox's reality competition show Special Forces: World's Toughest Test.
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