

While I was checking out a video by YouTuber Obaa Yaa Jones on things that Black women can do to keep moisture in their hair (you can watch it here), it got me to thinking about hair masks. More specifically, why hair masks should be incorporated at least every other wash day. Now hear me out.
As Black women, most of us have curls that are tight to the point that it’s difficult for the natural sebum that is on our scalp to travel all the way down the strands of our hair in order to fully lubricate them. If you add to that the reality that some of us also have the type of hair porosity that makes it hard for our locks to retain moisture, it can be a constant struggle to give our tresses the hydration that they need in order to avoid damage and breakage (so that we can retain the hair length that we are after). One thing that can make this less of an issue? Hair masks.
If you’re somewhat familiar with hair masks but you honestly haven’t tried them (yet), take a few moments to read this all the way through. As someone who has high porosity hair and is on her own journey to gain longer locks that are super healthy, I’ve been playing around with hair masks for a minute now — and even though it is an extra step to what can already be quite the wash day sometimes…honestly, I don’t have not one regret.
What Is a Hair Mask?
Okay, so you know how, oftentimes, when getting a facial, a mask will be incorporated in order to treat certain types of skin issues? Hair masks basically do the same thing — only, they’re specifically made for your tresses and they’re usually for the purpose of deeply penetrating your hair with hydration.
What I’ve come to find is if your hair is particularly dry, you color-treat your hair, you’ve been noticing signs of heat damage, and/or you enjoy wearing your hair in its natural state (and you want your curls to have less frizz so that they can really pop), hair masks can benefit you on a few different levels. That’s because the heavy amount of oils and/or butters in them can help to create some real moisture-related restoration.
What Are the Tips for Getting the Most Out of a Hair Mask?
In a moment, I’m going to share with you some hair mask options that are available to you. First, though, let’s talk a bit about how you can receive the most benefits from using a hair mask.
Treat the issue. Not all hair masks are just alike, so although more moisture may be your ultimate goal, if your hair has worn-out ends, seek out a hair mask that treats that. Color-treated? Look for one that is good for that. Frizzing going on? Get a hair mask for that. This is important because, personally, there have been times when I’ve just picked up a popular hair mask that ended up not doing me much good; the reason why is because it was for one thing when I had something entirely different going on with my tresses.
Follow the instructions. If you decide to go with a commercial brand, the instructions are there for a reason. Please make sure to read them and follow them all the way through. Otherwise, your hair may not end up as hydrated, soft, or manageable as you were hoping for.
Not on the scalp; definitely on the ends. A big mistake that a lot of people make when it comes to hair masks is they just scoop up a handful and put it on top of their head. Yeah…naw. You need to make sure that you’ve got enough to coat your freshly washed hair from root to tip; however, keep in mind that hair masks are more for your hair than your scalp. This point is key because many ingredients that are in a lot of hair masks could potentially clog up your hair follicles and/or irritate your scalp, if you massage your scalp with them or leave the product on your scalp for a long period of time.
Cover your hair up. Putting a hair mask on your locks, only to wash it out after five minutes or so, isn’t going to get you the kind of results that you seek. If you’re really going to do this hair mask thing in excellence, be prepared to have your hair wrapped up in a shower cap, warm towel, or steamer for no less than an hour. In fact, some hair masks recommend that you leave them on overnight (although, don’t come to that conclusion on your own; again, read the instructions).
Make it a part of your hair care routine. There is something to be said about the need to “train your hair” in order to get it how you’d like it to be. That’s why it’s important to not just one-and-done your hair when it comes to hair masks. Me? I try to treat my locks to one every other wash day (and I typically wash my hair every two weeks).
How Do You Choose a Hair Mask That Is Best for You?
Now that you know a bit about how to get the most benefits from a hair mask, you might be wondering which one you should use. Honestly, this could require a bit of trial and error on your part; however, there are articles like Shape’s “14 Hair Masks That Will Give You the Healthiest Strands of Your Life, Vetted and Reviewed” and Glamour’s “The Best Natural Hair Masks, According to the Pros” can potentially point you in the right direction. Another hack would be to go to your favorite search engine and put “hair mask for Black women” in the search field to see some natural hair-specific options.
Okay, but what if you’d prefer to avoid as many chemicals as possible? If that is indeed the case, there are a ton of DIY hair mask options for you to choose from. Below, I’ve included five homemade hair mask options along with some of the reasons why the ingredients in them are such a wise choice.
RECIPE #1
1 Tablespoon of Honey
1 Tablespoon of Avocado
1 Teaspoon of Rosemary Oil
Your hair will adore honey becauseit’s a humectant; this means that it absorbs moisture from the air and pulls it into your skin and hair. Some other selling points about honey are it's rich in antioxidants and antibacterial properties,it deeply conditions your hair and it helps to strengthen your strands over time.
Avocados are rich in fatty acids that also help to cultivate (and retain) moisture in your hair; plus, the vitamins C and E work together to reduce frizz, prevent free radicals from harming your hair, and reduce damage as well. Rosemary oil? It also conditions your hair while increasing blood circulation to your hair follicles which results in faster and stronger hair growth.
RECIPE #2
½ Cup of Cocoa Powder
2 Teaspoons of Coconut Cream
1 Teaspoon of Coconut Oil
If it sounds crazy to you to put cocoa powder in your hair, you might want to read “12 Ways Dark Chocolate Can Benefit Your Body From Head To Toe.” The reality is there are nutrients in cocoa (like iron, magnesium, potassium, zinc, and copper) that can help to strengthen your hair and add shine and volume to it as well.
The high amounts of lauric acid and protein in coconut cream (or milk) can help to reduce hair loss and dandruff as it deeply moisturizes your hair for longer periods of time. Coconut oil is similar to coconut milk/cream, the only bonus is it can help to protect your hair’s cuticles (which can reduce breakage) too.
RECIPE #3
2 Tablespoons of Sweet Almond Oil
1 Teaspoon of Cinnamon
5 Drops of Peppermint Oil
I’ve been using sweet almond oil on my skin for quite some time now. Hair-wise, I dibble and dabble in it with no regrets because the oil has the ability to deeply moisturize my hair and also prevent split ends, thanks to the high concentration of Vitamin E that it contains. Cinnamon can help you out because it has properties that can help with hair growth; some research even says that this spice could help you end up with thicker hair.
Peppermint oil is always going to be a winner because it can potentially help to reduce hair loss, it increases blood circulation and oxygen flow to your hair follicles and it contains antimicrobials that reduce dandruff and dryness as well.
RECIPE #4
½ Cup of Aloe Vera Gel
1 Tablespoon of Olive Oil
5 Drops of Tea Tree Oil
Being that Aloe vera is made up of almost 99 percent water (no joke), that should already give you enough insight into why it’s a stellar conditioner for your hair. Beyond that, though, Aloe vera is a great hair mask ingredient because it has vitamins A, B12, C, and E that can help to strengthen your hair and properties that can help to improve your hair’s texture.
Olive oil is a great treatment for overly processed hair or if you want to prevent split ends. Tea tree oil is wonderful when it comes to removing product build-up.
RECIPE #5
1 Banana
1 Egg
2 Teaspoons of Plain Greek Yogurt
If any of these recipes is a throwback classic, it would have to be this one; that’s because it’s common for bananas, eggs, and yogurt to go into homemade hair masks. A cool thing about bananas is they contain something known as silica; it’s a chemical compound that reduces frizz. There are also antioxidants in bananas that help to decrease oxidative stress (which can lead to hair damage) and bananas can deeply condition your hair too.
Eggs? Eggs are loaded with protein (which your hair is made mostly of) which means that they can strengthen your hair as well as decrease dryness. Greek yogurt can also give your hair a protein boost as it also strengthens your hair follicles and softens your strands.
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I promise you that, no matter how many articles you read on how to have a head full of thriving hair, especially when it comes to us, maintaining moisture is going to be mentioned. Now that you know that hair masks are top-tier at doing this for you…seems like this needs to be on your next wash-day agenda…right? For real, though.
It’s worth the time and effort. Trust me.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Does hearing the phrase, “you’re such a good girl,” during sex turn you on? If so, you might have a “praise kink.” When I hear the term praise kink, the church girl in me wants to immediately play “The Lady, Her Lover and Lord” while riding reverse cowgirl. But that’s not what is meant by the term praise kink.
A “praise kink” is a sexual fetish that focuses on overt praise, exaggerated compliments, and an outpouring of verbal affection.
What Is a Praise Kink?
The concept of praise kinks isn't new, but thanks to TikTok, a lot of people are now realizing they might identify as praise kinksters. Currently, the hashtag #praisek1nk is trending with 568.9 million views, with tons of creators posting about their love for compliments and words of affirmation during sex. I, too, love a good compliment during sex. I once had a lover sing my praises about how good I was at a certain bedroom activity. His affirmations gave me WAP, but does that categorize me as having a praise kink?
How To Know if You Have a Praise Kink
Just because you love receiving praise doesn’t mean you have a praise kink. Someone with a praise kink experiences an intense level of sexual excitement from being praised or verbally affirmed by their partner during sex. You might have a praise kink if hearing your partner tell you how pretty you are makes you cum or if the thing that makes sex go from good to great is hearing your partner's thoughts about how good you are at giving head. And if, during solo play, the thing that gets you all hot and bothered is recalling the times your partner called you a good girl, it’s probably a praise kink.
Generally, a kink is a sexual activity that is needed for someone to enjoy sex. When it comes specifically to praise kinks, if you need reassurance from your partner that you're sexy, or good in bed in order to orgasm, you have a praise kink.
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Examples of Praise Kink Phrases To Try With Your Partner
If you’re new to the term and looking to explore, you probably have questions about what phrases to use. It may take a lot of communication and some trial and error to figure out what phrases work best for you and your partner. Ultimately, the best phrases to use vary from person to person and are based on what sex acts you and your partner enjoy, or what parts of their body they like complimented.
To get you started, here are some generic praise kink examples to try out with your partner:
Praise Kink Examples:
- You're such a good girl/boy.
- You're so good at [insert skill].
- You look so hot when you [insert activity].
- Your [insert body part] is irresistible.
- You taste so good. I can't get enough of you.
- You just have the perfect [body part].
- Just like that… you’re doing so good.
- Who taught you how to be so good at [something?]
While many examples of praise kink involve specific verbal affirmations, praise can also come in the form of brief words or phrases like “yes,” “keep going,” or simply a moan. No matter what type you prefer, praise kink is all about finding what feels good and exciting, and turns you and your partner on the most.
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Originally published on November 4, 2022