I Did Everything You’re NOT Supposed To Do On My First Solo Travel Adventure
I looked back at the hotel, once, then twice, truly questioning if I was going to abandon all of the rules I had set for myself prior to leaving for my first solo trip. I had watched Taken, received countless lectures about the dangers of solo traveling as a young single woman, was fully aware that what I was about to do could backfire in my face, and yet, here I was throwing all of my self-preservation and home-training out of the window.
"Are you coming?" he asked, opening the car door for me.
"Sure!"
Let me preface this article by explaining that I'm typically not a reckless person nor do I advocate for intentionally putting yourself in harm's way, but an overwhelming amount of the research and "do's and dont's" I received prior to leaving for my trip seemed too stringent for this particular vacation. While most "rules" were grounded in ensuring my overall safety, I did not want to travel to a mainstream, touristy location. I did not want to solely interact with the guests in the hotel. I did not want to just stay by the pool the entire trip.
Whether I was going alone or taking others with me, I was going. I wanted an adventure! And, boy, did I have one. Here are 5 solo travel rules that I broke on my first trip to Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic, that ultimately led to me having one of my favorite vacations so far:
“Stay on the premises around the resort.”
Courtesy of Lydia Lee
The funniest part about this first rule is that I actually believed I was going to stay put all weekend. Prior to my trip, I had researched the hotel spa and all of the wonderful amenities on the grounds and pictured myself relaxing and winding down from all of the craziness that is New York City.
Fast-forward one hour into my trip, I had already met someone by the pool and we were making plans to explore the Colonial Zone of Santo Domingo.
To me, the best part about solo traveling is that you have total autonomy over your free time. No more waiting for your girls to get ready. No more skipping museums because your friends don't like history. No more sharing a messy hotel room with multiple people. If you want to socialize and explore with others you can, but if you want to rest and relax by yourself, no one is stopping you.
Tip: As great as the hotels and resorts are, don't be entirely against exploring the local areas. The true culture of a city you're visiting often is not fully realized when solely staying in the hotel. If you're nervous about exploring by yourself or going with someone you recently met, try scheduling a walking, bike, or bus tour on Viator.
“Don’t leave the hotel with people you don’t know.”
Courtesy of Lydia Lee
The #1 rule I seemed to receive from most people prior to embarking on my solo trip seemed to revolve around the very real dangers of sex trafficking and date rape.
While not to be taken lightly, I met a guy from Toronto who was around my age, was in the DR on business, had a car, and also wanted to explore – all within one hour of arriving at the hotel. Conventional wisdom should have led me to decline exploring a foreign country with someone I barely knew, but for better or worse, his vibe seemed genuine. I trusted him.
Throughout the time I was there, we went onto explore the colonial ruins of the Santo Domingo, went shopping in local markets, listened to local music performances, and later drove an hour away to take a day trip to the beach in Boca Chica. Had our time together gone sour or I actually ended up in a dangerous situation, perhaps I would feel differently about interacting with men I don't know. But, for this particular trip, it made the difference.
Tip: Trust your gut. If someone or something makes you uncomfortable, steer clear. But, if you happen to meet someone and the vibe seems right, and most importantly, you feel safe, don't entirely discount leaning in.
“Foreign cities are dangerous. Avoid interacting with the locals.”
Courtesy of Lydia Lee
Particularly in regard to Santo Domingo, I read a lot on the city and reputation before this vacation. My decision to travel to Santo Domingo was primarily cost driven – my flight was only $240! But, unlike other cities in Puerto Rico and Costa Rica, the travel reviews I read on a number of blogs were less than favorable, especially in regard to safety.
This just might be me, but I feel like every city is "dangerous" in certain areas. Whenever I tell people from my hometown that I live in Brooklyn, they ask if I feel safe since it's supposedly "dangerous". As with any urban metropolis, I often ask people who actually live in a respective city to tell me where to explore and which areas to avoid. Using suggestions from Dominican staff and visitors at the hotel, I then tailored my list of places to visit in Santo Domingo, and it turned out great.
Prior to my trip, I wasn't expecting to love the local culture as much as I did. My family is originally from Jamaica and I felt a surprisingly comparable vibe between parts of Santo Domingo, DR and Kingston and Spanish Town, JA where my parents are from. Like Kingston, a large majority of the city is black or of some variation of black descent, and I really felt like I belonged (when I wasn't speaking Spanglish of course). I would ask questions, try different types of foods, and attempt to start up conversations with a number of people I met throughout my trip. Their warmth and overall friendliness really made a huge impact on my experience. Honestly, it might have made the whole trip.
“Be wary of consuming local foods and drinks.”
Courtesy of Lydia Lee
Similar to the above point, local is not synonymous with unclean or unsafe.
I remember meeting a lady in the hotel who was complaining, going on and on, about how dirty she heard the fruits and vegetables were and how she only wanted to eat food prepared directly in front of her. While water purity can be an issue in some countries, I feel like it's a waste to travel thousands of miles away to a foreign country just to eat chicken nuggets and Cheerios.
I probably ate and drank my whole trip – fried fish on the beach, mangu and salami, papayas, guava, mangoes, rum punch, mojitos, piña coladas – you name it, I had it. And, it was glorious.
Tip: Don't be lame. Try new foods and drinks! If you have concerns about water purity and food sanitation, bottled water and beverages are easily accessible and avoid eating food that has been sitting out for a while.
“Try not to stand out.”
Courtesy of Lydia Lee
While my skin color may have allowed me to blend in most spaces, it was pretty apparent that I was a tourist (especially when taking pictures). But, I don't think being a tourist is inherently a bad thing.
I believe that there is a big difference between being a tourist who simply visits versus appreciates a new place. I have visited countries where tourists are blatantly rude and disrespectful, leaving trash everywhere and talking down to locals. I felt in my core that I loved where I was visiting, tried my best to speak their language, and projected positivity and appreciation overall.
This does not mean walking around naively, flashing money or behaving in ways to attract negative attention, but it does mean not being afraid to engage with those around you and to stand out.
Tip: Being street smart does not mean completely shutting yourself off from the local environment around you. If you feel it's appropriate, don't be afraid to take pictures or even ask someone to take pictures of you. Again, be aware and read the overall vibe, but don't let fear and misconceptions stop you from exploring the world.
Featured Image by Lydia Lee (@hello_lydia).
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Originally published on March 9, 2019
Lydia is a recent Ivy League graduate and lifestyle writer based out of NYC. Storytelling her way through her 20-somethings, her lens is all things career, self-care, and #BlackGirlMagic. Meet Lydia on Instagram @hello_lydia.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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From Beauty Editor To Bestselling Novelist: Inside The World Of Author Tia Williams
If Tia Williams’ A Love Song for Ricki Wilde is an ode to Black artists, it’s at least partially informed by her experience as a creator herself. The novelist has never been a florist or a musician, like the couple in her latest book, but she’s most certainly an artist in her own right.
Williams has repeatedly imagined – and subsequently depicted – Black women as protagonists who are just as ordinary as they are extraordinary. Her readers might bury themselves in her tales of romance as a means of escaping their own lives, but they likely also see glimpses of themselves within the pages of each of her books.
A Love Song for Ricki Wilde, released earlier this year via Grand Central Publishing, follows a florist who has recently moved into an “enchanted” brownstone in Harlem from Atlanta. When she falls in love with a musician, the pair realizes their lives are intertwined in a mysterious way that dates back to the Harlem Renaissance.
Williams says she wanted to use the book to explore the idea of “Black Excellence” and what it means for artists today. “We had to call it out [our achievements] because our excellence for so long had been ignored and still is being erased. But, I do think Black excellence can become a prison because the idea of what is excellent can become very narrow,” she says. “This book is about Black artists and having the freedom to pursue Black art. I just wanted to investigate what Black excellence really means. Should we be redefining it? Is it a different definition based on who you are?”
Amazon
Although she spent a few years in Germany, Tia Williams spent most of her childhood in Virginia and Maryland, surrounded by Black people who had various lived experiences. A career as a writer, she says, always felt within her grasp. “I always knew I could do it,” she tells me when we speak in early February, just days after the release of her latest book. While she released her first novel, The Accidental Diva, in 2004, she’s certainly been writing for more than 20 years. According to her, she wrote her first book when she was just seven years old. “It was called Peter and the Crystal Bunny, and there was an “About the Author” section. It [said] ‘Tia Williams, 7, is probably the youngest writer you’ve ever read.’”
In elementary school, Williams found herself reading magazines such as Harper’s Bazaar, Elle, Cosmopolitan, and Mademoiselle, determined to become a beauty editor and a novelist when she became an adult. She’s achieved both. In addition to her creative writing, she’s worked as a beauty editor for magazines such as Elle, Glamour, Lucky, and Essence. Most recently, she was the editorial director for Estèe Lauder.
Two of Williams’ novels have achieved noteworthy success in the past decade. The 2016 novel The Perfect Find was adapted into a film, which won the audience award for narrative feature at The Tribeca Film Festival before it was released on Netflix last year. Gabrielle Union stars in the film as Jenna Jones, a 40-year-old creative director who falls in love with her company’s 25-year-old videographer, Eric, following a bad breakup. Eric (portrayed by Keith Powers) also happens to be the son of Jenna’s boss/professional rival.
(L-R) Keith Powers and Gabrielle Union starring in the Netflix film, 'The Perfect Find.'
Courtesy of NetflixWilliams says she’d placed Gabrielle Union on a vision board when she was writing the book. “And I don’t even do vision boards,” she says. “My friend made me do one. I was having such a hard time writing.”
Recently, it was announced that Williams’ 2021 Seven Days in June – a New York Times bestseller and former pick for Reese Witherspoon’s Book Club – would be adapted into a television series for Prime Video. Will Packer Media will produce the series, with Williams serving as an executive producer.
Still, the writer’s career hasn’t come without challenges. As an avid reader, Williams remembers being frustrated by how whitewashed literature was because of how much it juxtaposed with the world she grew up in. “I knew we were in all spaces,” she says. The few stories she did see about Black people tended to invoke common narratives about slavery or the civil rights era, which felt extremely limiting. Where were the stories about Black people who were living lives that were not centered around trauma and oppression, she wondered.
In the '90s, she fell in love with authors such as Terry McMillan, Omar Tyree, and Eric Jerome Dickey, only to be disappointed when publishing moved away from uplifting Black authors again in the early 2000s.
She learned for herself how difficult the publishing industry could be when she tried to find a publisher for The Perfect Find. “I went with a very, very small indie press. It was really more like self-publishing,” she says, adding that the book had been rejected by every major publisher. But, publishing this way proved to be extremely challenging, especially for someone with a disability. (Williams, like the protagonist in Seven Days in June, suffers from chronic migraines.)
Williams is hesitant to even reflect on this time in her life because of how traumatic it was. “It’s still really triggering to even talk about. It was a terrible, terrible time,” she says before letting a deep, long sigh. “It stays with me. It was horrible.”
“And I wanted to give up, but then there's this other part of me that…when you're a writer, you know when your work sucks and you know when it's good. I knew that this was good, and I just refused to, I couldn't let it go,” she continues. “I just poured everything into it. And I felt like just letting it go would be like a death. That sounds dramatic, but it’s true.”
Working in a creative industry can feel like always “waiting for the other shoe to drop,” but Williams has persisted and continued to follow her lifelong dreams.
Reflecting again on her latest book, the Brooklyn resident says A Love Song for Ricki Wilde was also inspired by her fascination with Harlem in the 1920s. “It was really fun to do research [and] to go up to Harlem and walk around and sort of get the vibe of the contemporary feel of the streets,” Williams says. “But, then, you'll be walking down some street and see an obscure little plaque that will say something like ‘Billie Holiday was discovered here, singing at 14 in 1928,’ or something. It feels like the past and the present are coexisting there in a really magical way. That helped inspire the story.”
In the days following our conversation, Williams will begin a book tour to promote the novel and connect with the readers who have supported her throughout the years. “A Love Song for Ricki Wilde," she says, is a “magical, modern fairytale.”
But it’s her latest offering to Black women who are so often ignored by the media and literary worlds. “I really write for Black women primarily. Anyone else who comes to the table, I’m thrilled,” she says. “But, first and foremost, I write my books, and especially this one, as a gift to us.”
Editor's note: Will Packer Media, the company that will adapt Tia Williams’ Seven Days in June into a Prime Video series, owns xoNecole.
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