Danai Gurira Would Have Said This To Her Younger Self
Danai Gurira makes no excuses when it comes to strengthening her body and her mind.
Whether it's her workout routine, drinking plenty of water, or eating the foods that nourish her body, the Black Panther star sets an inspiring example for anyone on the path towards a healthier life. So much so that Reebok recently named her one of the newest faces of the brand.
In conversation with Reebok, Gurira revealed her goals as the face of the brand, the importance of being each other's hero, and why listening to our bodies is the most nurturing thing we can do when it comes to fitness.
When I think of my own personal strength, I imagine myself a little toner and more active in the gym all while balancing my personal goals and reminding myself that everything I've been through is preparing me for the life I've always dreamed of. Gurira reminds us that while each of our definitions of strength will vary, true strength comes through a collective and collaborative effort in empowering those around us. The "cultural revolution" is being televised, and Gurira says that we need to be each other's hero:
"We all view strength differently: through physicality, through mental fortitude, through honesty and perhaps most importantly through community. My goal is to work with Reebok to galvanize women in all communities to find strength within themselves so that we may continue to lead this cultural revolution. Each one of us should be a hero to each other."
We are all on different journeys in life, and that includes our fitness journey, as well. Health and wellness are important ingredients in the recipe for self-care, but if we aren't in tune with what our bodies really need, we might miss the mark entirely. In yoga, for example, they say the pose you avoid is the one you need the most. Not only is this a metaphor for our fitness goals, it also speaks to our paths and the creation of our best lives.
Reebok
Gurira points out that although jogging isn't her favorite form of exercise, she pushes herself to do it and encourages us all to listen to the needs of our bodies. She says:
"It's a journey to keep your body feeling healthy and strong. One of the key things is to listen to your body and challenge it at the same time. Jogging is not my favorite thing, but I know it's a very powerful form of exercise, so challenging myself to do it, or listening and going to do something more nurturing when my body feels like it needs a little break from the strenuous stuff. It's really about keeping the palate very variant for me."
In a letter to her younger self, Gurira emotes the essence of fierce determination towards pushing her physical limits all while making the connection that exterior strength transfers inward and increases mental fortitude. She also reminds herself that it's okay to let go of things that do not serve her well, but she also knows that she is indeed on the right track.
"You're on the right track. You really, really are. Trust that. Develop a rhythm to your life, rules of how you believe is the best to live with balance and well being. Make your rules then stick to them. Don't doubt that your journey is culminating into your purpose.
"Give yourself breaks, working hard but enjoying life just as much. Breathe, deeply, a lot. Find the joy in the sweat, in the burn, in the discomfort, it's there. Continue to trust yourself, develop that ability to hear your voice inside of you; your gut, listen to it. Ruminate less. Let go of things quickly: they may perturb you now, they will mean so much less tomorrow. Be courageous.
"Never doubt that your hard work, your pursuit of integrity and authenticity, your struggles to do what is right will not be in vain."
One of the best ways to see true growth in life is found in setting new challenges for ourselves. There is nothing like setting a goal, pursuing it, and then coming out on the other side victoriously. In the pursuit of our passion, sometimes we just have to stop and listen to what our inner self is trying to say. Gurira tells her younger self that making her own rules and goals is the key to being able to hear the voice within, and while it is important to always do what's right, it's also okay to take Sundays off.
"Continue to find new, healthy ways to challenge yourself, your body, your mind. Continue to make goals, big and small, and strive to meet them, because nothing beats that feeling of completion, of accomplishment, and no one can take that from you."
"Develop your musculature, not just physically but emotionally, musculature of compassion, kindness, gentleness, and generosity. Take Sundays off.
"Listen very carefully to your body, but push it to new places also try new ways of fitness and health, diversify your routines, break new barriers, demolish your limits. Your body will remember, and thank you for it."
When I grow up, I want to be more like Danai, and I'm already an actual adult, apparently. A letter to our younger selves is such a powerful exercise in that much of the time, we will find that we are actually doing much better than we sometimes give ourselves credit for. Her letter to herself is a powerful reminder to all of us that although we continue to forge along on this journey filled with ups and downs, we are not only on the right track, but we are also responsible for creating a life based on our passions and physical and emotional health.
To read more about the new campaign and to follow Danai on her Reebok journey, click here.
Have you ever written a letter to your younger self? What is the most life-changing thing you would have told yourself? Let us know.
Featured image by Reebok
Michelle Schmitz is a writer and editor based in Washington, DC originally from Ft Lauderdale, FL. A self-described ambivert, you can find her figuring out ways to read more than her monthly limit of The New York Times, attending concerts, and being a badass, multi-tasking supermom. She also runs her own blog MichelleSasha.com. Keep up with her latest moves on IG: @michellesashawrites and Twitter: @michellesashas
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LISTÂ HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images